I never planned to write so much about 50 Shades of Grey. I thought I would write a post in order to point believers back to truth. Then I would move on to the happier topics, the less uncomfortable topics, I had planned to write on.
Writing on this topic has been one of the most uncomfortable things God has led me to do in a very long time. I so hoped He would let me off the hook, and I could quickly retreat to my comfortable writing zone.
When I posted What the Bible Says About 50 Shades of Grey, I realized why God had grieved my soul. More christians than I realized had bought into the lie that reading or watching something that took sexual immorality to new heights masquerading as a love story was not at all wrong.
At the bottom of this post, I will be linking articles and videos you might find helpful in understanding why this is such a big deal. Please don’t miss these links. They are all very enlightening in understanding this topic and what this means for our culture.
I don’t want you to simply hear my opinion or my thoughts in order to make your decision. I want you to go to scripture to find exactly what God has to say.
Here are some of the most common emails I received from women.
- It’s a work of fiction. It doesn’t matter if it’s fiction or real. If it displays acts which God detests and creates in us sins and temptations to sin, we are instructed to flee.
- It’s a beautiful love story and she saves him in the end. There are lots of beautiful love stories we can delight in. When it’s a love story hidden in the crevices of sexual immorality, we need to find another love story to delight in. Our enemy is crafty. He is out to destroy humanity – christian and non-christian. Pornography is a trap and women are pulled into its grip when it pulls at our emotions and desire for relationships. We need to find another love story to celebrate other than one filled with pain, torture, humiliation, and degradation of women.
- What I do in my own private life, God doesn’t care about. It doesn’t affect anyone else. Oh, but He does care. And what we do in our own private life greatly affects those around us. When we read about a love story that makes us believe our husband isn’t good enough, does that not affect him? When we read about a life of excitement that belittles the gift of our mundane moments, does that not affect others when I walk through life lacking joy because I’ve believed a lie? When I think I can handle watching something and not take it any further, then I run across the path of another who begins to pay me a little more attention than I feel my husband does. Seeds of lies have begun to sprout in my heart causing me to long for what’s not mine to long for, and I take a step away from my husband, whether emotionally or physically, does that not affect anyone else? Sin has domino effects. It never stops with us. It has arms that continue to reach, hurt, and ultimately destroy. Our private thought life matters greatly to God because what begins as innocent private thoughts rarely stops there. God sees what we don’t see, which is why He warns us throughout His entire Word to fight sin.
- God doesn’t have a problem with *bdsm* (Please don’t look it up. I will define it for you. Bondage, Domination, Sadism, Masochism.) I received this comment: “The topic of the book, BDSM is not against God. The bible says as women we should submit to our husbands, Yes?”Here is my exact reply from the comments section of my original post “The Bible in no way EVER affirms BDSM. Yes, it is VERY much the opposite of what God stands for. Bondage? No, He came to set the sinner free. Domination? No, He could dominate, but He offers us free will….we can choose Him or the world. Sadism? “the tendency to derive pleasure, especially sexual gratification, from inflicting pain, suffering, or humiliation on others.” Yeah, not our God. He is the God of love, healing, hope. Pretty sure He doesn’t encourage us to derive pleasure by inflicting pain on another.Masochism…same definition, so ditto. To know God is to know truth. To know God is to know love. Please don’t distort God’s word. Submit to our husbands has never meant to submit to being dominated, humiliated, and violated (even when it’s agreed upon). To know God is to know that God would never affirm these practices. To submit to one’s husband is to submit to his spiritual leadership. To get under his mission. That mission should always lead to Christ.
- If it helps my sex life, God wouldn’t have a problem with it. This is just our attempt to justify our sins. Have we no faith to believe if God wants us to liven up our sex lives, He can do it without us living in the fantasy part of our minds? God is much more creative than that! If that is what we are really after then it’s as easy as coming together with your husband and praying for it. Seeking God. God is the creator of sex between a husband and a wife. It’s a gift from Him to us. He gave it as pleasure, and He delights when we delight in our spouse.
Moving on from the comments, I want to look to scripture. Because here’s the problem I see. We receive the majority of our information online these days. We are forming our “truths” based on the words and opinions of others. But are we looking to truth to find truth? We have to know God’s Word.
50 Shades places sexual immorality on stage. Let’s define sexual immorality first because God has much to say on the subject.
Sexual immorality in the most basic definition is sexual acts performed not between married persons. However, Jesus goes on to define lust as sexual immorality. Therefore, even thinking of another or lusting after another that is not your husband or your wife is sexually immoral. The Bible is actually very detailed in defining immorality, but for the sake of what we are discussing, let’s keep it simple.
First we need to recognize the sin in front of us. What is wrong with 50 Shades? So much, but at the base, base, base level, it’s sexual immorality on steroids. If we don’t recognize sin when we see it, we walk blind with the world. We are called to be set apart from the world. We are to shine the light of Christ in a darkened world.
We are going to look at the sin of sexual immorality, why God cares what we look at, and how we can protect our eyes and hearts.
What is the issue?
Sexual immorality is sin. This is only a tiny sampling of scriptures.
5 Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. 2 Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us[a] and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God. 3 Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity, or greed among you. Such sins have no place among God’s people. 4 Obscene stories, foolish talk, and coarse jokes—these are not for you. Instead, let there be thankfulness to God.
5 You can be sure that no immoral, impure, or greedy person will inherit the Kingdom of Christ and of God. For a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this world.
1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 (NLT)
3 God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin.
4 Then each of you will control his own body[a] and live in holiness and honor— 5 not in lustful passion like the pagans who do not know God and his ways.
Galatians 5:19-21 (NLT)
19 When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, 21 envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God.
1 Peter 2:11 (NIV)
11 Dear friends, I urge you, as foreigners and exiles, to abstain from sinful desires, which wage war against your soul.
Colossians 3:5 (NLT)
5 So put to death the sinful, earthly things lurking within you. Have nothing to do with sexual immorality, impurity, lust, and evil desires. Don’t be greedy, for a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this world.
1 Corinthians 6:9-10 (NLT)
9 Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, 10 or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God.
1 Corinthians 10:13 (NLT)
13 The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.
Why is this an issue? Does God really care what we watch and see?
Luke 11:34-35 (NLT)
34 “Your eye is a lamp that provides light for your body. When your eye is good, your whole body is filled with light. But when it is bad, your body is filled with darkness. 35 Make sure that the light you think you have is not actually darkness.
Philippians 4:8 (NLT)
8 And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.
Romans 13:14 (ESV)
But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.
1 Peter 1:16 (ESV)
Since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.”
2 Corinthians 7:1 (ESV)
Since we have these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from every defilement of body and spirit, bringing holiness to completion in the fear of God.
Colossians 3:1 (ESV)
If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.
Psalm 119:37 (NLT)
37 Turn my eyes from worthless things,
and give me life through your word.
Romans 12:2 (NLT)
2 Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.
How do I follow God’s will?
Galatians 5:16 NLT
16 So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves.
Philippians 4:13New Living Translation (NLT)
13 For I can do everything through Christ,[a] who gives me strength.
Psalm 119:9 (NIV)
How can a young person stay on the path of purity?
By living according to your word.
Psalm 51:10 NLT
Create in me a clean heart, O God.
Renew a loyal spirit within me.
Psalm 86:11 NLT
Teach me your ways, O Lord,
that I may live according to your truth!
Grant me purity of heart,
so that I may honor you.
2 Corinthians 10:3-5 (NLT)
3 We are human, but we don’t wage war as humans do. 4 [a]We use God’s mighty weapons, not worldly weapons, to knock down the strongholds of human reasoning and to destroy false arguments. 5 We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ.
I love you dearly. My writings are written for christian women. I know where God has called me, and it is right here with you. This series I’ve written has brought readers that I didn’t write for. I love them too, but these words are meant for you. God has called me to serve you, to encourage you in your daily walk, to inspire you to live a life that shines His glory.
If you are my christian sister, and you have read these books or seen the movie, and your eyes have been opened and you now feel the shame of sin, please don’t stay in that place. God is rich in love and mercy. His arms never close to you. He rejoices when our eyes are opened to His truths and He longs to be the One to hold us closely.
The Lord our God is merciful and forgiving, even though we have rebelled against him;
1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness
Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.
Posts in this series:
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