Rest For The Weary Mom

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To all the moms,

The days can be long and hard.  You work without ceasing and wonder if any of it matters at all.  Diaper change after diaper change, meal after meal, bottle after bottle, homework assignments, work projects, carpooling, sports schedules, the moments wear you down until you fall into your bed completely spent.  You feel like nothing is  left to give, and you wonder how in the world you are making a difference.  Did any of it make a real difference? Does anyone understand?

You work so hard to keep it all spinning.  You fill your calendar with fun outings for your family, you schedule the appointments that must be scheduled, you attempt to carve out some time to invest in your friends.  But at the end of the day, you are exhausted, and what you are most desperate for is just a slice of rest.  A portion of rest for your wearied heart. Does anyone understand?

If you are working, the pressure that rests on your shoulders feels unbearable at times.  You are pulled in 100 different directions, you try your best to give your best, but most days you feel you could only give a part of you to everything and gave nothing all of you.  It’s frustrating.  Does anyone understand?

If you stay at home, you are desperate for a shower, for conversation and companionship, for a break – even just 5 minutes.  You listen to chatter all day long, you break up fights, and the house is a disaster – always.  Does anyone understand?

You love everything you are doing, but most days you feel a bit unnoticed.  You served all day long and maybe never heard a single thank you.  Did they notice that you went without a shower so they could have a hot meal and a special lunch with a note?  Sometimes, possibly. Did they realize that in an entire day, you never actually sat down once until dinner hit the table?  Do they know the pressure you are under at work and see how you can still come home and wrap your arms around them and hide your troubles away?  Does anyone understand?

A battle tries to break out in your mind.  One side showing how life is beating you up and painting a picture of frustration and defeat.  The other side is a picture of beauty in the mess.  The defeated side we don’t need to waste our time on.  Let’s look at the other side.

While you were packing lunches, signing permission slips, and sipping your cold coffee, little eyes watched.  They saw you serving, it becomes a memory.  They won’t thank you now, but you modeled the heart of a servant.  While you change the 5th diaper of the morning, little eyes are fixed on your face.  They see your smile, they know they are loved.  They listen to you sing to them.  It’s nap time for the littles and you would love nothing more than rest, but you choose instead to make a meal for a friend in need.  You sacrificed your time for another.  Your little ones see, they may not thank you, but you modeled Jesus to them.

The person in the checkout line was rude, you offered a smile back.  Again feeling like no one sees you, you chose the higher road.  Your little ones see.

The little ones see and take note. They see only a fraction of the moments of your day.

Moms, all the moments that make us weary become little imprints in their hearts.  Little moment, by little moment we create a picture in their hearts of a life devoted to Christ. As moms we may feel unnoticed, unloved at times, unappreciated many days – it all matters.  Moms, our calling is a high calling.  

There is One who sees it all.  He understands.  Beyond understanding, he offers what you are most desperate for.  Rest for your wearied mommy heart.  He’s written you a love letter. And he wants you to take these words and tuck them into your heart.  He knows you will need them in the worst kind of way.

Matthew 11:28 NLT Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”

Isaiah 40:31 ESV But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.

Galations 6:9 ESV And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.

Jeremiah 31:25 ESV For I will satisfy the weary soul, and every languishing soul I will replenish.

He sees, he understands.  That’s all that matters.  It’s why we do what we do.  We do it because we are in love with Christ.  And He gives us the rest we desire.  The world exhausts us. He lifts us back up. He sustains us. He strengthens our wearied hearts.

Books and Movies For Your Weekend

Over the last few weeks, we have come across some great books and movies.  I thought it was worth sharing here.

 

Movies:  Our favorites are Facing the Giants, The Perfect Game, Everyone’s Hero.  All 3 of these movies are loved by our entire family and our boys are 5, 8, and 10.  Everyone’s Hero makes my boys laugh out loud and has a great message.  Facing the Giants is incredibly inspirational and is packed full of lessons our kids continue to discuss.  The Perfect Game is a true story and makes a big impact.  The Mercy Rule did not make the cut though we gave it a try.  It simply didn’t connect with our kiddos.  I appreciated a wholesome movie that is family friendly.  But of the 4 movies we tried, it was our least favorite.

Books:  Feelings and Faith by Brian Borgman

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Please read this.  Please, please, please.  I highly recommend for every Christian.  It was mentioned at church one Sunday. I bought it, and it sat for months on my “to read” pile. When I began reading the first 2 pages, I put it down and ran for the highlighter and pen. It’s that kind of book.

Children’s Book:  The Knight and the Firefly: A Boy, a Bug, and a Lesson in Bravery

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Precious book for kids to help them overcome their fears.  Loved by all 3 of my boys.  But my 5 year old has a new favorite book.

What are some of your recent favorite books or movies?

Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.” 

 

The Thrill of the Hunt

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As a newborn Jacob had a scream that, quite frankly, terrified me.  It escalated near the dinner hour, and he remained in a state of fussiness until bedtime.  As the clock neared 6:00 pm, I could feel my anxiety rising because I knew what I was in for.  Hours of on and off again crying.  Hours of walking and rocking and crying.  For both of us.

Steve had perfected this one particular move.  It was a little step, bounce, step move.  Quite impressive not because how he looked doing it but because it actually worked. Sometimes.

One thing worked to stop the crying every single time, however.  Taking that boy outside. He could be in an all-out, full-belly scream, purple face and all, and the moment the fresh air hit his skin, the crying stopped.  Enter inside the house, crying resumed.  Back outside, crying stopped.  Considering he was an October baby, that was tough on a new mom .

Jacob has loved nature since the day he was born.   Being outside soothed him as a newborn.  It soothes him as a 10 year old.  As a toddler he spotted every tiny creature trying its best to stay unnoticed.  Slime and scales never stopped him from touching anything.

Jacob is always the one to spot what the rest of us fail to see.  If you walk on the beach with him, he will find 10 things in 2 minutes flat that you’ve never seen before.  He is always the one to discover the bird fallen from the nest.  He’s always the one to spot the deer standing motionless in the woods under the cover of the trees.  He’s always the one to see the snake hiding under a rock.  He’s always the one that sees anything in nature that the rest of us walk right by.

I asked him his secret.  “Jacob, how do you see the things in nature that we miss?  You seem to see things so easily.”

He responded, “Because I’m always looking.”

He’s passionate about nature.  He can’t get enough of it.  So he’s always on the hunt.  Filling himself up with what he loves.

When Jacob is looking, he is anticipating what he will discover.  He is expecting to see something.  The thrill of the hunt is almost as exciting as the find.I want to hunt for God like Jacob hunts in nature.   I want to constantly be looking, seeking, discovering, and finding.

God is in every single moment of my day.  He’s all over my life.  And He’s all over yours.  When I take the time to stop and notice, it’s overwhelming.  Some days I see him more easily than others.  It really depends on how hard I’m looking for Him.  He’s there everyday, all day.  He’s just waiting on me to find Him hiding in every moment He brings my way.

Where have you seen God hiding in your moments this week?  Have you seen him in unexpected corners?  In a funny joke heard at the just the moment you needed a good laugh?  In a phone call from a friend when encouragement was needed?  In a surprise bargain find when money is tight and a need exists?  Please share your God moments with us.  The big, the small, the silly, the not-so-silly.  He is all over us, all the time.

 

One Remedy For The Stressed Out Busy Life

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Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.  ~Victor Hugo

Reaching high into the cabinet, I placed the cup on the shelf.  While my 8-year-old read aloud to me from the chair at the kitchen window, the mental to-do list played its typical tune in the background of my mind.  Homework could get done while I put away dishes and got dinner started.  Needed to hurry because time was approaching to leave for tennis lessons.  Papers lay strewn everywhere.  Oh yeah, that’s the other pile to add to my to-do list.  Those phone calls never got made.  Steve asked me to do something.  What was it? How many people did I disappoint this week because I didn’t have time? The mental list worked hard to drown the sweetness of the 8-year-old in the corner.

That serious commander in my mind prevented me from hearing little footsteps approaching.  Little arms getting bigger each day encircled me from behind, a sneak attack. Before I could move, his face pressed hard in my back.  Then the unexpected moment.  He blew a raspberry with force that is typical from this ultra-phyiscal 5-year-old.  And the tickle nerve reacted equally hard.

Doubling over, I spun around and grabbed him.  Wide eyes and a even wider smile kidnapped his face.  He went in hard for the stomach this time, and I reacted harder. Laughter burst forth with a force to match his.  In a moment we were each held hostage, he to his surprise over my laughter.  Me to the laughter I couldn’t control.

Relentless, he kept coming until I finally threw my hands up in surrender.  When the giggles stopped, silence took the stage.  The mental to-do list had quieted, but so had my 8-year-old.  His eyes held onto the scene long after it had ended.  “Mommy, I haven’t heard you ever laugh that hard.”

“Well, he went looking for the tickle spot and found it.”

His words began playing over and over again in my mind.  And that look.  That look of wonder and surprise.  Why was that?  How I loved seeing it.  I wanted more.

The days will always hold more to do than to enjoy.  The days will too often hold more trouble than fun, more hurts than smiles.  The days will try to quiet the laughter with busyness.  The days will try to steal these moments.

I smile a lot, but laughter is what I need.  Laughing released something.  The tension maybe? The idea that I was the one holding everything together.  Keeping it all spinning?  So what if a couple of plates fall if I can laugh at the mess.

Laughter found me and showed me what I was missing out on.  Sometimes what is missing doesn’t just happen upon us.  Sometimes we have to seek it out.  Sometimes we have to go looking.  I’m looking for more laughter this week.  It can be found in the piles of stress, the mountain of to-dos, the boss breathing down our neck, and the kids fighting over who got the biggest.

This week – I will laugh at the moments that make me want to cry.  I will laugh at the piles and lists that bully me around.  And I will laugh at the situations that seem to have swallowed helium.  I might just surprise the littles by bursting into fits of laughter in the midst of a 3 brother brawl.  It may be just the thing I need to change how I see it all.

What makes you laugh?  Not just smile, but really, really laugh?  Please share with us.  What makes you laugh may just be what the doctor ordered for your fellow-sister-reader.

A Book To Heal The Soul

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Do you ever look at a tragic situation and wonder how anything good could possibly come from it?  I claim to believe Romans 8:28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. 

But sometimes I wonder if I really believe it. I think I do.  I say I do.  Yes, I do.  But then I hear of injustice and questions linger.  Questions that we can’t answer on this earth.

I’m reading a book that is the most beautiful example of beauty in the midst of unthinkable tragedy.  One Light Still Shines by Marie Monville.  It’s a story written by the wife of the killer of the Amish schoolhouse shooting.  But it’s not the story of the shooting.  It’s the story told that shows God in every crevice of darkness shining His light, bringing peace, love, hope, and healing.

She beautifully portrays the love of God experienced during deep, deep pain that I can’t even begin to imagine.  I tried to think of words to describe this book.  The word that keeps coming to mind is soul-healing.  It’s a book of healing, hope, faith, and love.

It’s simply beautiful, and I’m pleasantly surprised at how much I am enjoying it.  My neighbor loaned it to me and told me how much she enjoyed reading the perspective of the wife.  It’s so easy in our culture to make judgements when we only have part of the information.  Her words offer healing to the soul for those who on the outside watched this tragedy and begged the question ‘Where is God’.  Her story assures me that He was very much there.  He was more than just there.

I love this portion taken from page 93 “Linda beamed at my description.  ‘You girls were nothing but giggles and fun.  I loved every minute of it.  We made a great memory that night.’  She paused then, suddenly serious, and said, ‘Memories feed us in dark times, Marie.”

I agree with this statement Marie’s aunt, Linda, made to her.  Yes, memories do feed us in dark times.  How precious of God that He gives us the ability to record memories.  They will feed us in dark times.  And at times they help us to forget by remembering. You may remember this post  How to Remember So We Can Forget.

Memories are worth the effort to create.  Sometimes they are created with no effort at all. They feed us in dark times, and they change our perspective in a moment.  Memories are a treasure to the soul.

If you are looking for a book that breathes Jesus with each turn of the page, I highly recommend this book.  It is the perfect book for me to read after a tough read like Feelings and Faith, which I recently finished (and loved).  You will read this book with ease and find your soul deeply moved.  I’m reminded with each turn of the page what an amazing God we serve.

What’s a book you’ve read that left you feeling inspired, healed, or loved?

Know Your Enemy

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One arm holding the banister rail, one foot resting on the first step, he turned to me with eyes I didn’t recognize.  The eyes that looked back at me were armed with daggers of anger, rage, and pent-up emotions. His shoulders held tight the tension running through his veins. His stance, his eyes, they froze me.  In that moment I felt helplessly at a loss for words.

I was unable to speak.  In the silence, with angry eyes glaring back at me, I heard a whisper.  A whisper that soothed the burn of the daggers.  “You are not fighting against your child.  You are fighting FOR MY child.  This battle is not yours.  This battle is mine.  Now pray.”

If you can pray with no words, I did in that moment.  I don’t know what happened.  My normal reaction would have been to  feel angry, hurt, and to fight back hard.  I would have demanded respect and demanded he see it my way.  Because I’m the parent, and I know best, of course. In that moment the kindness of my Father saved me from myself and destruction. He covered my mouth with his gentle hand  while giving me new eyes to see the battle at hand and softening my heart to feel compassion for my child at war.  A war he doesn’t even really know exists.  A war I know all too well.

This battle is a familiar dance to me.  The music plays a different melody, and the moves may change from time to time.  I need to recognize Who I’m dancing with and who is trying to cut in uninvited.

With grace given by God in that moment, I responded to those dangerous eyes that threatened rebellion, “Can you write for me what you are feeling?  Write out what thoughts are going through your mind.  Write anything and everything that comes to mind.”

4 words can sink a heart.  “It will hurt you.”

Swallowing hard, drawing on the strength of His wings covering me, I met his gaze.  “It’s ok. Just write exactly what you are feeling.  Even if you think it will hurt me.  It’s ok.”

He shrugged as his eyes seemed to say, “Ok, whatever.”  And he turned and walked away.

I wondered about words I had spoken as a child that inflicted pain to the heart of my parents.  I wondered how old I was when they felt what I’m feeling.  I wondered how they got through it because they weren’t christians.  How do parents make it when they don’t have Christ to cling to?

I watched as he wrote away, effortlessly.  He didn’t lack for words.  They seemed to flow naturally onto the paper.  I never left the protection of His wings.  They sheltered me and prepared me for the words I would read.

He laid the pen down, met my eyes, and I saw tenderness had replaced much of the anger. “Mom, are you sure you want to read this?”

“Yes.”

“Ok!”  And he skipped away and began playing as if nothing had ever happened.  Meanwhile, I held the paper in my hand asking God for wisdom.  Then I read.  The words were shocking.  Sort of.  It was so extreme and so bizarre that satan couldn’t deny he was playing a game here.  He was full on battling for my child.  In that moment I experienced something I had never experienced before.  Emotions washed over me like a waterfall.  I did not read those words and feel hurt or defensive.  I read those words and ached for my child.  I felt such compassion for him in that moment that I couldn’t contain it and ran right over to him in the midst of being surrounded by people and hugged him tight.  He gave a half-smile, “Mom, seriously?” Those emotions did not come from me.  They came from the giver of life, peace, and true joy.

“Thank you for being honest with me.  Thank you for loving me enough to be honest even if you thought it would hurt me.  I’m not hurt.  I know exactly how to pray now.  Thank you for sharing this,” I said to him.  He just skipped away.

But I knew better.  I know how this game works.  I know the enemy wanted me to think that is all there is to this little battle and we could go on our merry ways.  He’s sly like that.  He is a liar.  And he will stop at nothing.  John 10:10 “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”

I claim it.  I claim the full life found only in Christ for my children.

I walked through my house with a confidence I couldn’t create on my own.  This is war, and I know who wins in the end.  And I know who loses.  I felt rage like I hadn’t felt.  It’s one thing to attack me, but don’t mess with my kids.  The enemy attacks with the precision of any good military attack.  He strikes hard and fast, hitting multiple targets with one launch.  He seeks to destroy and to kill.  His attacks aimed at the church strike hard at the family.  When the family falls, churches begin to crumble.

So I listened to the One leading this battle.  I prayed.  I prayed in every room of my house.  I prayed Ephesians 6: 10-18.  I used the name of Jesus out loud because I know it causes the enemy to tremble and flee.  He runs and cowers at the name of Jesus.  And I freely used that power.  I turned on scripture music and let it ring loud.

And then I rested on the bed of my child in the midst of a war he can’t see and is too young to understand.  So I tried to break it down.

“I’m going to read to you a story you know all too well.  But I want you to see something else in it this time.  It’s David and Goliath.  Imagine you are David.  Your goliath is negative emotions you don’t understand.  Your goliath is this anger you don’t understand.  Your goliath is this turmoil in your heart you wrote about.  Imagine all of that standing as a huge giant in front of you, towering over you.  It’s hurling threats and telling you how you should feel.  But how did David respond?”

His eyes held mine as he listened.

“David responded with a full faith and confidence in God.  You see David realized he was a little guy against a big giant.  But it didn’t matter.  You know why?  Because God was on David’s side and not Goliath’s side.  David knew that nothing Goliath hurled at him would matter.  Because when you battle against God, you lose.  David knew who battled for him.”

“Listen to God’s Word.  1 Sam 7: 45-47 “David said to the Philistine, ‘You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the LORD Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied.  This day the LORD will hand you over to me, and I’ll strike you down and cut off your head.  Today I will give the carcasses of the Philistine army to the birds of the air and the beasts of the earth, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel.  All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the Lord saves; for the battle is the LORD’S, and he will give all of you into our hands.”

“Honey, God has special plans for you.  Jeremiah 29:11.  The enemy knows this and he’s messing with you.  He is lying to you and trying to make you believe lies.  I want you to stand firm against him.  As a christian we have nothing to fear from the enemy.  We are covered by the blood of Christ.  We KNOW who wins the final battle.  We will stand in Heaven one day and it will all be over.  But until then the enemy will continue to mess with us.  He wants to find a crack in our armor.  But you must never be scared because he can’t harm you.  You are protected by God.  There is no greater protection than that.  Pray always to be wise to the lies of the enemy.  Pray for God to increase your faith moment by moment so you can stand like David stood, knowing who fights for you.”

I walked out of the room knowing this isn’t the end.  The enemy will always battle for souls. He knows his days are numbered, so he will fight hard til the end.  Until that day comes, I will fight back harder, using only prayer and faith.  I know I can win.  Because “one little word can fell him.”

A Mighty Fortress Is Our God

by Martin Luther

And though this world, with devils filled, should threaten to undo us,
We will not fear, for God hath willed His truth to triumph through us:
The Prince of Darkness grim, we tremble not for him;
His rage we can endure, for lo, his doom is sure,
One little word shall fell him.

That word above all earthly powers, no thanks to them, abideth;
The Spirit and the gifts are ours through Him Who with us sideth:
Let goods and kindred go, this mortal life also;
The body they may kill: God’s truth abideth still,
His kingdom is forever.

[box] *****My favorite book on spiritual warfare is The Invisible War – What every believer needs to know about satan, demons, and spiritual warfare by Chip Ingram. *****

If you are not a believer, I’m glad you are here.  You are not here by accident.   Isaiah 55:6 Seek the Lord while He may be found, call upon Him while He is near.  Open God’s love letter written to you.  Turn to the book of John.  It’s a great place to begin.

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Reasons to Consider Unplugging from Technology to Plug Into Our Families

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Last March our family fasted from electronics for a month.  It was the first time we had done something like that, and we were pleasantly surprised by the results.  Here is the post I wrote last year on 5 Benefits of an Electronics Fast.

I began to notice some areas of attitude, resistance, and disconnection in our family recently.  This is an area I pray about frequently and felt that another fast was in order.  Our fast began over the weekend.  This is never something welcomed by our children.  They never get excited that we are implementing this.  However, we see the most positive results through the process.  If I gave them their choice, they would eat candy all day long and never touch a vegetable.  The same holds true for electronics.  It’s fun, they love them, but we know there are healthier options they need to experience.

After posting A Letter To My Sons (the real reason I say no to electronics), I realized how many families felt the same way.  It’s a topic that is becoming more important as the crutch of electronics invades our family lives.

The weeks leading up to Easter is a great time to try an electronics fast if you’ve always wanted to give it a shot. I admit, it’s scary, but you will not regret a second of the time you experience with your family.  Start small.  You don’t have to start out with a 30 day break (though I really love our longer breaks).  Try just one weekend, one day even.

Of all my boys, my middle son is the one who loves electronics more than the others. However, on Day 2 of our fast, he said, “This is actually kind of fun.”  This same thing was said last year by both of my older boys.  They wouldn’t choose an electronics fast, but they do enjoy it and see the benefits.

I would add one more thing to my list from 5 Benefits of an Electronics Fast – more sleep.  I find that on the weekends my boys wake early because they expect to watch a movie or they wonder if a movie is being watched, and they don’t want to miss out.  Now, they are simply sleeping and enjoying getting the rest and relaxation because they know they aren’t missing out on anything.

“When the option of electronics is completely removed, kids will become kids again.  When all the distractions are removed, we can fully enjoy our moments again.” – 5 Benefits of an Electronics Fast.  I encourage you to visit this previous post to read the benefits we noticed in our family.

Technology has wonderful uses, but every so often a disconnect in the family calls for a disconnect from technology.  A time to recharge and reboot as a family unit.  A time to connect fully with each other and rediscover one another.  A time to create some new moments and see them with fresh, focused eyes.