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How to See God in the In-Between Moments

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The doctor placed oversized glasses on his eyes. One lens blue, the other red. The lights dimmed low, she held her flashlight tool inches from his face. “Ok, buddy, how many lights do you see?”

His slumped back straightened, and that dimpled chin I can’t get enough of took a slight turn north, “Three!”

“Great, how about now?” she inched closer to the door.

His shoulders drew back, “Three!”

The doctor repeated at several distances, and each time, his confidence grew. The doctor put her tool away and turned on the lights. The assistant led him outside to the treasure box, as the doctor gently closed the door behind them.

“Put these glasses on. I want to show you something.” She performed the same tests on me as she did my 6-year-old. At each distance I saw four lights rather than the sure three Andrew saw. Taking notice of my confusion, she said, “Now cover your left eye and tell me how many lights you see.”

Despite the questions running relays in my mind, I answered, “Three?” At each distance, with one eye patched, I saw three lights. Slowly exhaling, I removed the glasses and met the compassionate eyes of the doctor.

Join me over at Crosswalk for the rest of today’s post where I’m sharing how my son’s learning disabilities are teaching me more about seeing God beyond the obvious and the “big” and  seeing Him in all the in-between moments. Aren’t the in-between moments where we tend the hang out the most? 

Full post published originally on Crosswalk.com.

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Answered Prayers, Unexpected Gifts, and Lyme Disease

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If you have been reading along our health journey with my 9-year-old, you know that we have had 3 instances of unexplained knee swelling over the course of 2 1/2 years. Each swelling worse than the one before. He showed no other symptoms. He is a healthy boy, very active and bright. The most recent knee swelling proved to be the toughest we’ve faced. At the worst point, he was unable to walk.

Each trip to the doctor left us still searching for answers. What was causing this knee swelling? The doctors were genuinely puzzled. So we prayed. And we enlisted an army of believers to lift Zachary up to our Heavenly Father. Our prayers have been answered.

12 days ago Zachary and I spent all day at the Rheumatologist and the Orthopedic. Ten vials of blood and 2 bags of knee fluid later, we left with more questions. MRI, X-Ray, blood work, labs on fluids. Everything continued to show a healthy child.

But we were praying. And we had an army of believers placing requests on Zachary’s behalf at the Father’s feet. Specifically, we were praying God would grant wisdom to the doctors treating Zachary, that God would grant healing, that God would bring us the answer to the root cause of the swelling.

Four days after blood was drawn by the Rheumatologist, she called and asked if Zachary had been exposed to a tick bite. It was possible. I mean he is a boy, he lives outside, he loves the woods. I’ve never seen a tick on him, but anything is possible. Answered prayer #1- wisdom to the doctor. She had no good reason to test for Lyme because he showed no symptoms and we live in North Carolina. She didn’t know we lived in Virginia for 2.5 years. She could have fit him into a type of arthritis and treated him. But God heard our prayers, and He granted wisdom to that doctor.

Sometimes God is answering our prayers in stages, yet we move about life unaware of Him.

Lord, let me never become unaware of your constant provision.

Yesterday afternoon the rheumatologist’s nurse called. “Great news! Zachary’s blood work looks beautiful. He is one healthy boy.” I hung up with feelings of relief mixed with more questions. Thirty minutes later the doctor herself called to let me know Zachary tested positive for Lyme Disease. “I’m shocked,” she told me.

Answered prayer #2 – Answers. We can move forward with treatment.

Answered prayers #3 – God has been protecting Zachary’s body from some of the more severe symptoms of Lyme for the 3 years he has had this disease unknown to us. Praise God!

We are thankful for the multitude of people who have been praying for us, and we continue to ask for your prayers. Lyme can be a long road.

People continue to ask me how Zachary is handling this. On the drive to school, he said, “Mom, I think God allowed me to have Lyme so I can help the world.” Amen, sweet boy, amen. This child is tender to the Holy Spirit. He has a heart for Jesus like I aspire to have. He sees the hand of God at every turn along his journey of life. I’m confident that God will use Zachary to bring comfort or encouragement to someone else with Lyme. Or he may just use Zachary to shine a light for Christ to someone who needs to see beyond the illness and pain that plagues our world.

In the midst of all this, a friend contacted me Sunday and offered to volunteer several hours a week for the next 4 weeks to help me with my ministry. Friends! God provided for me before He brought me this news of Lyme. He is always taking care of us. He is always at work in our lives. When she contacted me, I sat at my kitchen table with no words. Why would she offer to help me during the busiest time of the year? She doesn’t even really know me. Why? Because we serve a compassionate God who loves us more than we can fathom. He placed on her heart to help me, and she followed the leading of the Holy Spirit.

Last night I researched online about Lyme. The more I read, the more fear began to speak into my heart. Fear is not welcome here. Fear and faith are at odds with each other. The best way to fight fear is with the Word of God.

 

2 Timothy 1:7 

For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

We head into Thanksgiving, and our hearts of full. Thursday we celebrate our youngest turning 6. Not possible!  We have much to give thanks for.

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Don’t believe the lie that God won’t give us more than we can handle

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Our family has been under heavy attack over the last several weeks. We are tired, spent, and somewhat shaken. The enemy has used many tactics against us, and we are rallying right now. The enemy has attacked through health. We’ve been attacked through broken and hurting relationships. We’ve been attacked through daily choices. We’ve been attacked in our schedules and ministries. At times over the past few weeks, I’ve wanted to find a corner, ball up, cover my head, and wait for it to pass.

Stronger than the desire to escape is this desire to fight back.

Last week our son had his knee aspirated not once, but twice. The doctor laid him back on the bed and told him it would be alright. Zachary knew nothing about that needle was alright. I gripped his hands in mine and rested my forearms across his chest, blocking his view of the doctor, the nurses, the needles. His eyes took on a wildness I’ve never seen. His scream was terror I’ve never heard from him. I placed my lips on his wet forehead, kissing away the beads of sweat, whispering with a calm that came not from my own strength. It’s almost over. It’s almost over. 

Dear God, I can’t bear watching my son hurt this way. This pain is more than he can bear. Help him. 

Pulling back from his forehead, I looked into his eyes. My heart raced as I watched his eyes. His eyes turned to glass, he looked far beyond me. Though I held his face 3 inches from mine, he seemed to look miles beyond me. His eyes fluttered and rolled back, all the tension released from his body as I held him.

I swallowed panic and called his name repeatedly. “I feel like I’m falling asleep.” And his body limp lay in peace as they drained fluid from his knee and injected him with steroids. His body gave up the fight. Surrendered.

Lord, I give up the fight. I surrender to you. Fight for me, because I can’t fight on my own.

I often hear people say, “The Lord will not give you more than you can bear.” This is a lie. If he never gave us more than we could bear, why in Heaven’s name,  would he need to die on the cross for us? Why? If we can handle it all on our own, then we don’t need him. No, this is not true. We face more than we can bear. This life at times is more than we can bear.

The fear that kidnapped my son was more than he could bear. He could not handle the stress and trauma of that needle jabbed into his leg, sucking the fluid, feeling intensely the pull of the needle. No, he couldn’t bear it.

The enemy. Prowling like a lion. Seeking to steal, kill, and destroy. Oh, he wants us to believe God won’t give us more than we can handle. He loves when scripture is tossed around loosely in this way. He loves when God’s words are twisted and turned to suit his purposes.

1 Corinthians 10:13 

No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

When I’m tempted to stop believing that God is on my side, He has provided a way out of my unbelief so I can endure this. When I’m tempted to believe this situation is hopeless, He has provided a way out of the temptation I face to give in to the apparent hopelessness.

He allows us to face what we can’t bear. He died on the cross and bore what we couldn’t bear. As nails bore into him, He took what we couldn’t take. He took away our sins. He made a way for us to spend eternity with him. He left us with power to face this life.

I asked my husband if we could just cancel our Thanksgiving plans. Stay home, recover. I don’t feel I have the energy to pack, to plan, to travel, then to come back and speak and carry out my ministry. We are on the brink of the advent season. My heart beats strong to encourage you to slow and seek Him this season. Yet I feel exhausted right now from the battles I’m facing with the enemy of our soul. My husband called me and said two words. Dig deep.

Friends, we have to dig deep. Deep calls to deep.

Psalm 42:7 

Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me.

On the surface we can fight in our own strength. When we dig deep, we discover the power that lives in us. His Holy Spirit in each believer, giving power to fight the enemy.

Yes, this life will give us more than we can bear. He died and rose again so that He could leave us with the power to bear all things we can’t bear on our own. Let His waves and breakers sweep over you today. Allow Him to be the power you need to face what you can’t face.

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