Lord, help me. I’m about to blow it with my kids.

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The whirlwind called morning finally landed us in the car heading to school. As we began our 25 minute commute with christian music filling the silence, I felt my heart rate slow.

My frustration and anger brimming over how 4 of us sinful beings can bring out the nasty in each other when hunger and tired eyes present themselves in the wee hours of the mornings.

Buttons aren’t merely pushed, they are held down with force until the other person can take no more. The cycle begins. Honestly, it doesn’t matter what system we use (and trust me we’ve tried many). We do the whole ‘set your clothes out the night before’, ‘don’t come downstairs until clothes on, beds made, teeth brushed’, ‘pack your lunch the night before.’ We do all that.

We are as Pinterest-pretty organized as humanely possible. We’ve even done the cutesy charts, which my boys dislike greatly.

Sin doesn’t cower or bow to systems, organization, or good intentions.

Sin is present on the inside no matter what we attempt to do on the outside. It’s in the heart the battle is waged.

Since my boys were tiny, all we’ve ever listened to is christian music. K-Love is the only station programmed in my car. Because I NEED it. They NEED it. I need to at every minute be reminded of truth.

The in-between time is when truth seeps in.

In between the battles of sin is when the Holy Spirit begins whispering to me. Often these in between moments place me in the car, listening to truth sung over airwaves.

This morning was no exception. Everyone followed the system. But brother aggravated brother, brother hit brother, brother used words as weapons, brother cried hard. And mother?

Well, mother tried to ignore. She prayed silently the Lord would intervene and grip their hearts. Then the Lord didn’t answer as quickly as one hopes. So sin won out as my tone turned sharp, my blood pressure rose, I proceeded the daily lecture on the attitudes of the heart.

And then we made it to the car. K-Love played songs of the power of the cross, sin has no power. My shoulders began to let go of the tension.

The music ended as the disc jockeys began to speak on their annual fundraising drive. Normally, my boys love listening to this. They love hearing the testimonies of lives changed when people listen to christian music.

Today the D.J asked, “Do you feel the tug on your heart?”

Andrew asked, “Mom, what’s a tug on your heart mean?”

“Well, you know how when you act ugly, then you come to me later and tell me that your heart hurts, and we talk about how that is the Holy Spirit speaking to you, instructing your heart? Well, that is what it means when someone says that God is tugging at your heart. It’s the Holy Spirit speaking to you.”

“Hmmm.”

The D.Js began using analogies of tug boats and they ran hard with the use of the word tug.

Andrew became more and more agitated with each use of the word tug.

“Mom, turn it off. I don’t want to hear them talking about tugging anymore. I can’t take it!”

“Andrew, I’m not turning it off because the rest of us want to listen.”

After asking 5 more times, he realized I wouldn’t turn it off, so he decided he would simply ruin it for the rest of us. He moaned and wailed loudly. He rolled his window down to freeze us out. He covered his ears proclaiming, “I can’t stand to hear about the tug.”

Lord, help me. Please keep me calm and patient because I feel I’m on the verge of exploding.

I tried using reason. But have you ever tried to reason with someone out of their mind at the moment? Reason makes no sense to them.

In a perfect world, I would gently and lovingly talk to my child about how we by nature are sinful creatures and aren’t we thankful we have Jesus. That we are selfish and think more of ourselves than we think of others. Aren’t we glad for Jesus? And for some moms, this works. This would work on Jacob and Zachary. They have completely different personality types.

But when your child is cemented in his ways, no sweet words are going to do the magic trick.

Lord, help me. I need you to make me the parent you want me to be. Because, Lord, right now I’m about to blow it. Help me.

We parked the car. The sweet girl we carpool with and Zachary scurry away inside the building. Jacob hangs with me. Andrew continues digging in. Refusing to walk into school. Anything he can to push me over the edge. I’m tottering. I’m swaying. When will I tip?

Jacob is trying to get my attention. He has big issues. Forgotten homework, lost piece of paper. Big in a 12 year old world. He’s got a mama who is at the school for a conference in her wet hair pulled in a ponytail about to football carry a 60 pound child and leave him at the door of his classroom.

Lord, help me. 

I finally deposited him in the school. I made my way to Jacob’s teacher for our conference. I entered her classroom, which was the most glorious shade of quiet. I sat in the chair, and my shoulders released that tension again. It was the in-between. Praise for the in-between.

The in-between is the gift He gives us. The in-between is when we can release all that tension back to Him, to soak up the silence of that moment – however brief it may be.

The in-between is when we are most likely to hear God speak to us.

The in-between is when we feel that tug. That tug that sent Andrew on a spiral descent.

I ended my conference. I got in my car. Another in-between. Silence to reflect. To pray. To listen.

The tug was physically painful for Andrew to listen to. Physically painful. If you heard how my car sounded this morning, you would get what I’m saying.

The enemy knows the power of that tug. He’s no idiot. He knows that if we obey that tug, he loses in an instant. That tug is the last thing he wants us to be aware of. He wants us to ignore the tug.

Andrew fought the tug. Fought hard.

Normally, I would’ve lost it. This morning, by God’s grace, I didn’t simply because I couldn’t. I had to drive carpool. I had a conference at 7:30 am.

Temptation was great for me to lay into Andrew for his poor behavior. For his selfishness. For his anger outburst. If I wanted I could justify my position. I could do all of that.

When temptation is great to sin, He always leaves a door of escape open for us. I’ve found the door of escape easiest to take is a simple silent, “Lord, help me. I need you right now.”

I can’t control my children. Parenting is the greatest display of my weaknesses. I can write about the Lord. I can sit and speak with women about our need for Jesus. Then my children can push me to the point of questioning why in the world the Lord could possibly use me in ministry.

Fight the temptation to go there, friends. When our thoughts go to how awful we are, we begin to think too much of ourself and not enough of Him. These are the moments to fix our eyes on Him. Off us, on Him.

Eyes off us, eyes on Him.

Then that tug comes. That tug that reminds me that He uses us when we are completely dependent on Him. He’s not looking for a perfect mom. He’s not looking for the Pinterest perfect morning routine. He’s looking for a heart that loves Him and cries out for Him.

So we pray for our hearts. We pray for our children. We let the tugging begin. We don’t resist the tug. We let Him tug us all the way to Him. We let go, falling completely into Him. He lifts us up. He strengthens us for the job. He sends us back out, still holding that rope to Him. Too much slack, He’ll gently tug. In desperate times, He’ll pull with full force. He never lets go.

Don’t let go of that rope today. Hold tight, so you feel His tugs. The gentle and the firm. Loosen your grip so you can fall into Him today.

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3 Ways To Begin Loving God More – And It Won’t Happen Overnight

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When Jacob was born, I’d only been a christian for 3 years. I was desperately hungry for godly women to show me how to raise godly children.

I read every book I could get my hands on. I attended every Bible study offered. I even went to a women’s retreat at a church I didn’t belong to and didn’t know a soul attending.

I’m an introvert and never before recall doing something so wild.

A hunger for the Lord leads us to do what we never imagined doing.

I began going to a group for young christian moms very similar to MOPS when my boys were babies. 2 mentor moms led a large group session. Then we split into small groups, led by a mentor mom and also filled with an equal mix of young moms and older, wiser moms. It was one of the best decisions I made as a young mom. By far.

A hunger for God will not be left to starve. He will fill it in ways we never imagined when we seek Him with our whole heart.

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The wisdom these women shared found a spot in my heart forever. My favorite mentor mom spoke with such passion and conviction. I’ll never forget her sharing a story of a time her daughter lied. She told us never to call our children liars, even if we know they are lying. She said instead to pray that the Holy Spirit bring about the conviction and allow Him to do the work that brings heart change.

I’ve followed her advice on numerous occasions, and she is right. The Spirit does what I can’t do. And the growth that begins in their hearts as they learn to hear His voice is astounding.

Once she told us how to pray for our children. Covering every area of their lives. She told us never to stop praying for their salvation, even after they’ve accepted Christ. I never got that until years later when my young boys accepted Christ. Salvation is only the beginning. That is the point true life for them begins.

She told us to love God more than we loved our children. I nodded my head in agreement, but in my heart…it wasn’t true. If I’m totally honest, I said I loved God more than anything, but I actually loved my children and my husband more than God.

I began praying simply for God to give me a love for Him that is far greater than my love for anything else in the entire world. God is faithful. He’s now done that. I may not act it or show it all the time, but I can honestly say I love Him more than I love my family. Yet, I recognize I still don’t love Him enough.

And at one meeting, I took note of her daily Bible reading plan. I had no idea that this one simple step would be the means by which God began to turn my so-so love into a passionate love for Him.

Christians are notorious for giving the answers “just pray” or “read the Bible.” Sadly, we often brush these away and look for something with some substance. Something tangible and measurable. We look for the action plan. We look for the secret that no one has discovered. Partly because we don’t believe that the Word is living and active, sharper than any double-edged sword. Partly because when we pray, we often feel we are talking to air (not true…but we’ve all felt that way at times).

We look for the latest bestseller that tells us something new. The author who has discovered what no one else has discovered. I have bookshelves of christian parenting books. And while they have ALL helped me become a better parent, none have done what I was most desperate for. None made me love Him more.

What I needed most to be the best mom I could be is to love Jesus more than I loved being a mom.

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I needed to fall in love with His Word. And I did. Slowly. Over many years. It didn’t happen overnight. It happened little by little. With each reading of His Word, He grew me up just a little bit more. As He grew me up, He opened my mind to understand new things in His Word. And that cycle continues. And I pray it never ends. That I never stop seeking Him, to love Him more than I do right now.

The thing about His Word is that our human minds can read it cover to cover 100 times, and it will never, ever, not ever become boring. God will illuminate certain passages at different points of our lives to speak straight into our hearts.

At this mom’s group, they gave a method for reading the Bible daily to grow in wisdom. Whatever the date is you start there in the Psalms. For instance, if it is September 28th. You start in Psalm 28. Then you add 30 and read Psalm 58, add 30 again and read Psalm 88, add 30 again and read Psalm 118, add 30 again and read Psalm 148. Then end it by reading that date in Proverbs, so Proverbs 28.

In some seasons, I was only able to read these chapters each morning. In other seasons, I’ve been able to read them in addition to other books of the Bible or in conjunction with a particular study. But reading Psalms and Proverbs daily gave me a plan to stay in His Word every single day.

3 simple steps will begin the process of turning our love for Him into a passionate love.

  • Reading the Bible daily – His Word alone. Christian books are awesome and wonderful tools. But they must be secondary.
  • Praying – all kinds of prayers. Some in quiet, some on the go, some long, some short. Prayers of nothing but praise. Prayers of thanksgiving. Intercession. Simply talking to God throughout our days. Not getting into a routine and forgetting He is with us.
  • Memorizing scripture – this can be intentional, but it also happens with the habit of daily reading. The Lord often brings scripture to mind that I don’t remember intentionally memorizing. Reading His Word will soak into our souls, and He will bring it forth when we need it. And we don’t always realize it, but we need His Word every hour, every day.

I still have a long way to go to love Him more. There is no point where I will arrive. I will never say, “Yes, now I love Him as much as possible.” I believe it’s impossible.

God is love. If God is love, the creator of love, as He grows our hearts to love Him more, we will naturally seek Him more. When we seek Him more, we will see Him more. When we see Him more, we love Him more. And it will never end. The love will grow more intense and burn brighter with time, but it will never reach a point where our heart says enough.

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Why Looking Back Might Move Us Forward

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There was a time I thought I wanted the furniture in my home to stay pristine and beautiful, unmarred, scratch-free. I wanted my house to sparkle and shine.

 
Gently over time, God began to show me my most beautiful pieces are the ones that bear the greatest scars for they have the most interesting stories to tell.

 

He began to show me that the chips actually add to the outer beauty and that magazine perfection is overrated.

 
The pieces of furniture in my home that look perfect are pretty boring. They hold no stories and tell no secrets. While they are nice to look at, there is nothing beyond what meets the eye.

 
But the ones dinged and scratched? Well, pull up a chair, preferably the one with the cracked spindle or the stained cushion. These are the ones that tell a story you will want to hear.

 
These stories are important. Remembering reminds us of who God is and what He’s done. Remembering takes intention. Remembering will unlock what needs to be unlocked.

 

Often we talk about moving forward requires we stop looking back. While there is a lot of truth in that statement, looking back can at times be the very thing that draws us closer to God. Looking back reminds us of who God is. While our stories won’t be perfect, we are reminded through them of a God who is.

Would you join me at The Kingdom Life Now where I’m sharing the power of looking back?

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Are You Ready To Pick Up Your Pace?

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It’s a new season in our home. A new season in more ways than one.

Only Andrew is playing baseball this fall. Zachary is waiting to start a sport when schedules for his brothers slow in October (this child is a gift to us in his selflessness). Jacob is trying a new sport. Cross country.

Running is a good fit for Jacob. It takes patience and endurance. Your true competition is with only yourself. It takes training and dedication. It takes pushing through pain. It takes a laser like focus. It takes a decision not to quit before you take the first step.

Yes, running is a good fit for this first born of mine.

Listen to how good the Lord is. Several weeks ago, Jacob said to me what he loves most about cross country is that the coach cares about each individual runner on that team. The fact that an 11 year old noticed this is a pretty big deal to me. She must REALLY care.

In the race of life, our Coach cares about each individual runner as well. He’s running alongside us, coaching, encouraging, carrying, refueling. 

Oh the value to a child to know that an adult other than their parent cares for them is huge.

There are snapshots in my heart of seeing pure joy on Jacob’s face when he’s running to a finish line. It’s this head toward Heaven and wonder-filled eyes, a smile that speaks its own language. Joy.

Years ago Jacob ran a 5K with Steve and me and some of our friends. He smoked us all. In fact his time was a full minute per mile faster than mine!

I’ve seen this joy on his face, but I’m his mom. Recently, his coach stopped me to share how she felt the Lord speaking to her as she watched Jacob run. How she felt he was made to run. Watching Jacob made her think of Chariots of Fire “When I run, I feel God’s pleasure.” One of my favorite quotes of all time.

What is it you do that when you do it you feel God’s pleasure? What is it that when you do it, you feel a joy come bursting forth?

Jacob had his first meet this week. The night before the race, Andrew said, “Jacob I hope you win and beat everyone.” Jacob answered back, “Well, I’m not really trying to beat anyone. I’m running to get my personal best.”

I’ve replayed this over and over in my mind since I heard him say this. I’m running to get my personal best.

Is this not life? Are we not in a race to the finish line? In a see-all world where comparison tempts us, our life is a race to finish as well as we can possibly finish. Regardless of the race anyone else is running.

Christians, we are in our final laps in this race of life. It’s time to pick up our pace. Picking up our pace will look different than the pace the world is running.

In a distance race, you start easy. You set your pace. You gain confidence on the course. As you near the end, you pick up the pace. You’ve reserved enough energy to be sure you make it to the end, but when you get to the end, there is no need to save energy anymore. You increase your speed, you pump hard, you realize you have more in you than you anticipated. You see the finish line, and you go hard.

I watched Jacob start his race at a decent speed. I saw him at mid-point slower than he started. Then I saw him at the finish putting forth all he had left in him to give.

It’s time for us to put on our sprinting shoes. It’s time we graduate from a slow jog and run like it’s a 50 yard dash.

God has specific uses and purposes for His children. We all share one ultimate purpose in this life, which is to glorify God. Under that umbrella we each have unique ways we bring Him glory. It’s time for us to rise to the race and finish well.

I imagine one of the biggest regrets of my life would be to reach the end and look back and see all along I had more to give but I held back.

Run hard. Run fast. Say yes to God. Don’t hold back and save anything for later. God will replenish you along the way. He will sustain you and carry you. Run hard to the finish. 

This new Toby Mac song has become a family favorite. (And if you run to it, I promise you will run faster than you typically run.)

“I can’t stop
I can’t quit
It’s in my heart
It’s on my lips
I can’t stop, no
I can’t quit
It’s in my heart, yeah
I’m all in

[Chorus: tobyMac]
Til the wheels fall off
Til the spotlight fades
I will lift your banner high
I will lift your banner high
And til the walls crash in
For the rest of my days
I’ll lay it all on the line
Til the day I die
Til the day I die
Til the end of the line
Til the day I die
It’s Your name I’ll glorify

Toby sums it up well….”all in til the day I die.”

I want to be all in til the day I die. I want to give every ounce I have to give to the Lord til the day I die. I long for the day I see Him face to face. I want to know I lived my life with no regrets from the moment I surrendered my life to His lordship til the day I die.

Do I though? Do I really? Sometimes. And if I’m honest, sometimes not.

Remember those small assignments? Those are the ones I’m tempted not to give my all to. When my kids make me late, and I begin to scream and the meanest words fly out of my mouth with disgust. I’m not running so hard in that small assignment.

When my husband has a hard day, but I’m too busy running in 3 other directions to take note of what he needs. And I run hard in other places, but running hard in that moment might look like stopping, looking him in the eyes, and hearing what’s on his heart.

Running hard isn’t necessarily doing more. Running hard to the finish is seeking God with my whole heart and obeying Him at every turn. Chasing Him, not chasing life. Studying His Word harder than I’m studying Facebook. Spending more time in prayer than I spend in worry. Running hard is literally keeping my eyes fixed on Him.

Running hard is reaching out to the lost. Serving in His name. Running hard is a heart and soul clean up. It’s getting rid of what needs to go to make room for more of God. Running hard is killing selfishness. Running hard is slamming shut the door of pride.

Running hard is an awakening to the days we are living in and a new resolve to face each day with a bold courage wrapped in grace, love, mercy, and truth.

Running hard is letting the light of Christ shine brighter than it’s ever shone before.

Running hard for Christ is chasing a love affair with the lover and creator of your soul.

When we fall in love with Him, running hard becomes pure joy. And that’s when I get it. Jacob’s face – pure joy when he’s in a sprint is a reflection of the pure joy when we are so madly in love with our Lord that we run hard to the finish line.

And the finish line we are running towards….well, I tend to look at it as the start line. When we cross that line, when we’ve finished this race, the life everlasting begins. And it is beyond the wildest of imaginations and dreams. It’s worth the race.

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When I Was Held At Gun Point

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Two men entered my home. One stayed in the shadows. The other had the appearance of a robot. Like C3PO. The robot man told me to stay on the couch and not move. I began screaming at them to get out of my house.

They said they were looking for gold. I told them we had none. We don’t store up treasures here. We store them where rust and moth don’t destroy!

He told me to stop screaming and to move aside. He pointed his gun at the place I moved from. He pulled the trigger. There was no bullet. Only a red laser light and a loud sound.

I wasn’t scared at all. I got up from the couch and moved to another room. Suddenly everything in the house was moving, shaking, tossing around. I thought I was seeing the way the robot man would see but realized I was seeing as everything was actually happening. It had the feeling of an earthquake.

I made it into the kitchen. I could hear the men tossing my stuff around in search for gold. The kitchen window was open. In the window was a nest with a beautiful mama bird and her two babies tucked secure under her wings.

A black shadow came toward the window and my heart quickened, and I bit my lip just knowing those babies were about to be plucked from their nest.

The shadow came and went. The babies remained securely in the shelter of the mama’s wings. The mama bird held her position with no fear, completely confident.

Then I woke up.

Dreams have always fascinated me. I took a psychology class on dreams in college and it was by far my favorite class ever. Then again, I was an accounting major. Just about any class is more fascinating than debits and credits.

Typically, these types of dreams bring on a wave of fear. I wake up and look around, realize I’m safe, and thank God it was only a dream. This one felt different. I wasn’t scared in this dream. At all. It was weird.

I know that people say we’ve been saying since the beginning of time the world is getting worse, and I agree with that. But you can’t deny it’s getting worse by giant leaps today. We’ve crossed boundaries and broken covenants. We’ve redefined what only God can define. We’ve taken life that only God can give or take. Our world has changed because the choices we have made. And it will never be the same again until He makes all things new. But don’t lose heart. Hold fast to the faith you once had.

As a christian we look around and feel like strangers in a strange land. And we are! But we can’t dismay. While it is maddening to watch culture glorify sin and mock God, we know that it only means we are that much closer to eternal glory. And that is worth getting excited about.

We must remember that none of this is a surprise to God. None. These things must happen. These things were written about in the Bible. If we’ve been studying, we know where we are in history.

We have a choice to make today. And it’s a choice my husband and I were awakened to by our pastor several weeks ago. Will we be believers or followers? There is a difference.

Remember I wrote about an awakening happening in our hearts? God is waking up His people. We are His sheep, we know His voice.

Our pastor preached a sermon on becoming a true follower, a true disciple of Christ. My friends, it was convicting. And if you sit week after week in church, and you never feel challenged or convicted, then you must ask yourself some tough questions.

Lord, may I never become so comfortable hearing your Word preached that it fails to penetrate and divide my soul and spirit, judging the attitudes and actions of my heart. Awaken me from my slumber.

I wish I could share with you every tiny detail of what God has done in my life, in my husband’s life, and in our kids’ lives over the last several weeks. Since I can’t, I’ll just say, God jolted us awake, and when He did, He lit a fire and a passion in our hearts for Him and Him alone.

I think my passion scares some people. I met with a pastor once when I was marketing Seeking Christmas. As my passion came bursting from my lips, he had a look of surprise on his face. He was quiet, reserved, of few words. As I left his office, he said, “You certainly are passionate.” The drive home I replayed my words, how I should have toned down my voice, not been so animated. Then I realized, I just can’t. It’s who I am. When it comes to my faith, there is no tempering it.

What a time to be awakened. When our world feels like it is spinning out of control, we are alive for such a time as this. He is coming and every day we are here we are here to glorify Him.

All the years God sent prophecies about the Messiah, Jesus was missed by the very ones who were the smartest, most intelligent scholars of God’s Word. They had a lot of knowledge, but look where that knowledge led.

When Jesus came, look at the ones who became His disciples. The ones who chose to go outside the realm of belief and to follow.

I want to encourage you today to ask yourself the question our pastor asked us. Are you a believer or a follower? Do you know the difference?

This culture we are living in needs followers not believers.

A friend 2 weeks ago asked me if I sensed God asking me to focus on the small assignments. Yes. Yes, I do. Jesus didn’t discount the small assignments. The one person who needed to be touched and healed. The one person who needed a word of encouragement.

Jesus mastered the small assignments, which led Him ultimately to the point of conquering the biggest assignment of his life.

What small assignments is God placing before you today? Will you be faithful in the small assignments He places before you today?

Is that not where we begin if we want to follow Him well? Do we not say yes to everything He asks of us? Deny ourselves. Say what? That is radical in a selfish generation that pursues passions and pleasures hard.

To follow Him well, we must say no to us and yes to Him. In a world that is saying “learn to say no”, I say we need to learn to say yes. We’ve mastered saying no. It’s time to master saying yes to Him.

Do you want to stop believing and start following? Take the first step today.

Look for the small assignments. Start there. God will increase your assignments as you learn to follow Him. Follow the example of Jesus. The most humble example we will ever have, the most selfless model we could ever admire.

Jesus said yes to His Father. He said yes to every small assignment the Father asked of Him. Will we follow Him and say yes to the small assignments He gives us today?

If you still don’t know where to start, this is where knowing God gets really fun. He speaks so intimately to His people. If you seek Him with your whole heart you will find Him. Seek Him, you will find Him. He will speak to you. Open the Word. It holds power nothing in this world can stand against.

Happy Monday, my friends. Let’s start this week with a new resolve to follow Him wherever He leads!

I’m so glad you are here with me. This small community is one of the greatest blessings and joys the Lord has given me. A small assignment to write, and He blesses me with your encouragement and your notes. Thank you.

 

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Why Does God Warn Us?

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It took me several weeks to become acclimated to the buttons and functions of my new car. Most of the time, I could figure out fairly quickly where something was or what it meant. Except this one red light and beeping noise that seemed to go off at random with no rhyme or reason.

At various speeds, my car would beep 3 times and flash a warning that read FCW. The first few times, I questioned and wondered. The next few times I became agitated. Then I got to a point of ignoring. I’d accepted the fact that I didn’t understand it and likely wouldn’t.

Eventually, I did pull out the owners manual to attempt to solve the mystery.

FCW – forward crash warning. The car detected my speed and the distance of the cars around me to warn me of possible dangers. The car knew what I failed to see – danger was just ahead.

Join me at Lift Up Your Day for the rest of today’s post.

In His goodness and mercy, God used the writing of this post to alert me just prior to 2 major warnings He sent my way. I wrote and submitted my post. Within minutes, I received a phone call, which later I realized was a giant warning from God. Two days later, another warning came.

God will never stop protecting us because of His great love of us. We are wise to take His warnings seriously.

Please hop over to Lift Up Your Day!

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What If We Lived Like Today is Our Last Day?

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“Mom, I think I just heard Jesus tell me I would see him soon.”

I looked at Andrew to see if he wore his ‘I’m just tricking you’ grin. He did not.

“Andrew. Really? No, you didn’t,” I patted his back giving him a playful grin.

“I’m not joking, Mom. I really did. I heard him in my heart. And I really think I just heard him tell me I would see him soon.”

“Well, I can’t wait for the day I get to see Jesus. But even when we are here on Earth, He’s around us everywhere we look.”

On any other day, I would hear his precious words and move right on into our next moment. But in light of this sense of urgency God has laid on my heart, I was unable to shake Andrew’s comment.

I could tell it bothered Andrew that I didn’t believe him. I can relate. I’ve shared my passion and conviction for the times we are living in only to receive a blank stare back, a no response email, or an actual audible laugh.

After last week’s post, for the first time since I’ve started blogging, I received more unsubscribes than subscribes on one particular day. People begin to squirm when we talk about end times. People don’t like to think about things that bring fear or discomfort. The unknown is not fun. And we’d rather read about how much He loves us, and how special we are, and how we are chosen and blessed.

While I don’t want to make you squirm, I do want to remind you that if you are in Him, there is nothing to fear. We are to take heart, to be courageous, to share His love, and wait with excited anticipation, and pray. Yes, excited anticipation for His coming.

At the same time, we feel a sense of urgency because we know the majority of people in our lives don’t hold the same beliefs, and we are desperate for them to know what we know.

While I did receive many blank stares, unreturned emails, or laughs, the Lord was gracious in leading me to others He’s placed the same stirrings in. He crossed my path with others who feel the urgent call to get on our knees and repent, to return to Him, to seek Him, to share with everyone.

Driving to school, Jacob, my insightful and wise old soul, said, “You know, Mom, it’s weird to think how we just go through our routines all the time. We don’t really think about life being different at any given second. We just go through our familiar routines. But then one day, in like a split second, we will see Jesus, and life will never be the same again.”

I’ve pondered that thought all morning. I’ve always been a moment maker, lover of relishing in the moments, tasting and experiencing to the fullest. I understand that each moment is a gift to enjoy because we never know what the next moment holds for us.

But Jacob’s thought has led me in several directions. As christians we often say that we live with eternity in mind. But to be honest, I really don’t live moment to moment with eternity in mind. I’m thinking about what is next on the to-do list, or how to discipline a particular issue, or how to celebrate someone’s birthday arriving in mere days.

Over the last few days, Steve and I have spent more time discussing what really matters in life. I don’t know many believers who disagree that we are living in end times. When you read the signs of the end of the age in Matthew 24, we see all the signs. Jesus tells us they are the birth pains, they must happen, but he also tells us not to be alarmed.

When I was pregnant with Andrew, our youngest, I felt birth pains for what felt like ages. At about 30 weeks, I began having contractions. I went into the hospital for monitoring and went home on bed rest for a short time. For the remainder of my pregnancy, Andrew gave me signs he was ready to be with us always. I got to a point the contractions no longer concerned me. The doctors kept a close watch and everything appeared fine, but the early birth pains remained.

The night of Andrew’s arrival took us by complete surprise. You would think it would have been no surprise, after all, he’d been alerting me with contractions for weeks. But the day he arrived, he became a bit silent. He stopped kicking and squirming as much. Steve made the comment it would be nice if he waited until after Thanksgiving to arrive so we could enjoy the holiday.

10:00 pm Thanksgiving Eve, Andrew went from what felt like slumber to a desperate attempt to escape. We arrived at the hospital in extreme pain, we received no epidural, and Andrew arrived in record time for us.

It happened so fast it took us by complete surprise. Yet, he’d been reminding us all along he was coming.

I feel we are at the same point in our nation’s history. The Bible is clear a date of Christ’s return cannot be predicted, but it is also clear what the signs are leading up to His return. The signs are all around us if we open our eyes.

If we lived like every day was our last, what would our life look like? Would we be a little kinder? Would we speak a little gentler? Would we help with no motives? Would we share the gospel with no fear of rejection? Would we stop caring so much what others think of us and start sharing what matters most? Would we put down our phones and pick up our eyes a little more? Would frustrations suddenly become blessings? Would moments we’ve taken for granted revive us?

If we lived every day like it were our last, would anxiety cease to exist? Is that where true soul rest comes in? When we lay down our worries, being still in Him, and walking in His will. Would today be more than we fathomed because tomorrow wasn’t assumed?

I just wonder what happens to our soul when we live like there is no tomorrow. I wonder if I’d pour out myself with a little more generosity.

Today is September 1st. Today is the day we begin praying for our nation and ourselves to return to God, to seek Him. We pray for a revival and repentance like we’ve never seen. We pray God would heal our land and draw hearts back to Him. We pray for our nation to fall back in love with our God and to serve Him with our whole hearts.

For 30 days, we pray with urgency. All day long as the Spirit prompts, and specifically, 3 times a day we lift our voices together to the Heavens. Thank you for being here. For those who’ve stuck around, thank you. Let’s watch God do amazing miracles before our very eyes.

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