Silent Saturday Speaks

Jesus was crucified on Friday and resurrected on Sunday. But Saturday happened too. On this side of the resurrection 2000 years later, we can rest on Saturday because Sunday happened. On Good Friday we rejoice because Sunday is coming.

But His mother and disciples who lived on the day of waiting before Sunday arose. What did they do?

They rested.

Luke 23:56 “Then they returned and prepared spices and perfumes. And they rested on the Sabbath according to the commandment.” WHOA!

As we worshiped on Good Friday the Lord whispered to me about Saturday. It’s barely mentioned in the gospels. But it was there. An act of obedience.

To rest is to lay down our strive and to abide and trust. It’s easy for us to rest on this Saturday because we know the outcome. The question is can we rest in our “Saturdays” in which we haven’t lived through our “Sundays” just yet. So we haven’t seen the outcome, the hope risen, our circumstance redeemed or resurrected.

Today may we mourn the death and rest in the wait of our hope. Saturday, between the death of Friday and resurrection of Sunday, is a day of deep trust, obedient rest, and the wait.

May we wait well. May we trust and obey. For there’s no other way.

Let Your Kids Be Disappointed – It’s Real Life

How do any of us grow? By walking through circumstances that require it. As a young mom, I lacked patience with my kids. I was quick to snap. After praying for patience, God called me to homeschool. Years of day in and day out trying my patience, and I see growth in that area. It’s been H.A.R.D.

Growth is a process filled with growing pains. As parents we have a role to help our kids grow. This is the opposite of setting them up for an amazing, success-filled, perfect, Disney World like life. I fear many parents in today’s culture are trying to create an amazing life for their kids rather than prepare kids who can function in a harsh and often cruel world.

Raising strong kids

As parents we want to raise strong kids. We want them to be able to withstand the storms life will bring them. We’ve heard the saying, “Prepare your child for the road, not the road for your child.” Are we doing that?

There’s a trend in parenting of cleaning the road of all obstacles so the child doesn’t trip, and when they do, mom and dad swoop in to make it all right.

When we hear of a kid being mean to our kid, we jump in and work out the problem for them. When a teacher gives a low grade on a paper, mom and dad email the teacher wanting answers. When the teen didn’t get the job, mom and dad call the employer. When our kid is cut from the team, we demand answers and work to fix it.

Yes, we should advocate for our kids, but at the same time, there are times we need to step back and see how they move forward. We can advise and guide them. We don’t want to raise victims who look at life as always being against them. We want to raise adults who realize life is hard, but with the grace of God we can manage hard things well.

As a parent, when our child faces disappointment, we have an opportunity to empathize, while pointing them to Jesus.

We are raising adults

We have a job to raise adults. As adults we face losses, unfair circumstances, disappointments, and failures. This is life. What’s important is how we handle them when they come. It’s not a matter of if, but when.

In 2010 Steve and I vacationed in Hawaii to celebrate our 10 year anniversary. Awakened at 5:00am by the report of an earthquake in Chile, which would result in a Tsunami in Hawaii, I went into full melt down mode. The message I received was one of imminent death by drowning. I’ll never forget the words of the news anchor, “It’s not a matter of if, but one of when and how bad.” I’m embarrassed to say, I did not handle our situation well at all.

As a mom, I want my kids to grow into adults who understand that life brings hard moments. It’s not a matter of if, but when and how bad. I want them prepared to handle it by the grace of God.

We are not their Savior

A few weeks ago Andrew texted me from school. He was having some difficult interactions, which led to him feeling sad and wanting to leave school. We’d talked through these issues before. As the texts increased I realized he was looking to me to be his rescuer.

Our role is not to be our child’s Rescuer or Savior, but to point them to the One who is.

My mama instinct was to swoop in, bring him home, comfort him, and make it all right. But this would only help him in the short term. One day mama won’t be there to make it all better. However, there is One who will always be with us and will never ever leave or forsake us.

I responded to his text, “You can’t leave school. Pray. God will help you. I will pray too.” And I did. I prayed and prayed. His text later let me know he felt much better.

Our children need God more than they need a mom and dad to solve all their problems. Yes, we have a high calling to comfort, protect, nurture, advocate, and help. But we are not their end all answer, or at least we shouldn’t be.

Children and teens need to learn to have their own faith, not an extension of our faith. My faith can’t hold my kids up. It has to be their own. It has to be real and genuine. Real faith usually develops out of necessity. I’ve decided I’m ok with my kids experiencing hard times so they can learn to grow in their faith.

When Disappointment Comes

I took a trip to Florida recently. I wanted to take Andrew with me, but he had his first baseball game. The day of the game the weather called for rain. I began praying it wouldn’t rain. I mean PRAYING. The thought of Andrew’s disappointment over not going to Florida with me because of a game that wasn’t played bothered me more than it should have.

I took a step back. I didn’t want him to be disappointed. Plain and simple. I wanted him to have everything go the way it “should” go. But that is not reality. That is not real life.

Rather than praying away possible disappointments, I should pray my child has a strong enough faith to turn those disappointments over to Jesus, the one who cares about every hurt we face and comforts us when no one else is there.

The real role of parents

The pressure of culture today in our see all social media world is to present a picture perfect picture of our kids and our family. If our kids fail, what does it say about me as a mom? Did I fail too? If they make bad grades, does it mean I am a failure because I didn’t support them enough? If they don’t make the team, did I fail to get them the help they needed?

I believe one of the reasons we try so hard to create a smooth road for our kids is because we fear what it reflects on us. What will people think of us?

One of my more embarrassing parenting moments happened when my kids made their own volcano for a science project. It felt as if my kids were the only ones who brought in a project that looked like a kid made it. I was embarrassed wondering if all the parents thought I was a slack mom who doesn’t spend enough time helping her kids out.

But I got over it. I realized it was ok if my kids were embarrassed because they didn’t put in more effort. If they care enough, then next time they will. And if they don’t care enough, well that is ok too. It’s ok to not be amazing at everything. It’s ok to do the best we can without pushing ourselves to be the absolute best.

Our role as parents is to love, support, nurture, guide, discipline, and more than anything point them to Jesus.

Our role is not to make sure they have a smooth road to travel. It’s to be there when they fall, tell them we love them. It’s to be there when they are disappointed and empathize while reminding them there is only One who doesn’t disappoint. It’s to support them on their journey without pressuring them to be more than God created them to be, which is simply a human loved by Him.


If you want to read more on this topic, I wrote a post years ago about letting our kids fail. Dear Son, Why I Want You To Fail


Looking for a special gift for Easter? Add Scripture pillowcases to their Easter basket to remind them of the One who never fails!

 

My response to Dave Ramsey’s Waffle House Advice

I was speechless after I watched clips of Dave Ramsey speaking at Elevation Church. I’m never shocked by what I hear from the stage of Elevation anymore, but Dave surprised me. I shouldn’t be so easily surprised.

Click here to watch the clip

I disagree with Dave’s contempt towards leaving a gospel tract. There is no better way to “drip the Holy Spirit” than to literally share the message of the cross. To communicate that dropping a few “Benjamins” is better than dropping the message of salvation is utterly jaw dropping.

$300-$400 isn’t going to change anyone’s life in the long run. Yes, for the day, the week, or the month. But how about for eternity?

“You’ve changed her net worth,” he tells the audience. Changing net worth is not comparable to changing someone’s eternal address.

A few years ago Zachary and I had a Waffle House experience. I’ll never forget it. I wish I’d been bolder. I’m still growing.

When Waffle House Became Our Mission Field 

Lord, Open our eyes to those around us who need salvation. Give us words and boldness. Give us the desire to speak the truth. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Testing my fruit

The moment I bit into the grape I spit it in the trash. It was mushy and flavorless. The rest of the grapes were perfection – so firm they had a slight crunch to them and oozing with juiciness. A few days later, I pulled that same bowl of grapes from the fridge to pack some in Steve’s lunch. I felt each one giving it the firmness test. Each grape that gave into my squeeze found a home in the trash. As it turned out, only a handful of grapes made the cut of those worthy of a lunch spot.

Rotten fruit isn’t appealing to anyone. It’s repulsive and brings no value or enjoyment. But a vibrant, healthy display of fruit makes one’s mouth water. The more we eat healthy fruit, the more we crave it.

At points in our lives, we are wise to test the fruit in our spiritual lives. 

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,  gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” Galatians 5:22-23

How is my love? Am I critical of others or seeing the best in them because my heart is filled with the love of God?

How is my joy? Do I look around at what is wrong in my life or do I thank God for the gift of salvation and find joy in His love?

How is my peace? Am I filled with anxiety and worry, wrenching my hands wondering how it will all work out?

How is my forbearance? Am I enduring my circumstances well and allowing God to help me persevere or am I grumbling and complaining?

How is my kindness? Am I friendly, considerate – putting others before myself, or generous? Or am I crabby, pushing to the front or annoyed at the people around me?

How is my goodness? Am I growing in desiring to do good works. They don’t save me, but if I’m spiritually healthy, I WANT to do good.

How is my faithfulness? Am I reliable, dependable, a person of my word? Can you count on me? Am I steady and sure?

How is my gentleness? What is the tone of my voice? How are my reactions? What words come out of my mouth?

How is my self-c0ntrol? Am I controlling my urges – emotional and physical. Am I controlling my temper, my thoughts, my desires?

When I look at the spiritual fruit in my life, does it look like a banquet people are drawn to or more like the old fruit in the fridge waiting to be tossed?

What if we find our fruit is more rotten than ripe?

  • Confess to God.
  • Ask God to help you grow healthy fruit. Name the ones you struggle with most.
  • Read your Bible daily. It’s how we grow in Him. If we aren’t in His Word, we can be sure our fruit will rot.
  • Write scripture on notecards that apply to the various fruits of the Spirit you are focusing on.
  • Pray. Stay connected to the One who loves us and wants the very best for us.

 

 

 

 

The Girl I Turned Away

“Not again,” I muttered as I climbed the steps to answer the door. The large tote the girl carried told me all I needed to know about the visitor. Over the last two weeks, we’ve bought several stashes of candies and cookie doughs that we certainly don’t need. The members of my family simply can’t say no to a solicitor. Not me. No comes a bit too easily to me.

I answered the door with my no response at the ready. She told me what she was selling and what organization would benefit. I asked if she could leave some information for me to look into. Maybe I would donate online.

“No ma’am. I don’t have any information.”
“Ok, I’ll write down the organization name and find it. Have a nice night.”

As I began to step back inside, she asked, “Ma’am do you have some water you can give me?”

Without hesitation, I responded, “Yes! I’ll be right back.” I grabbed a water bottle and handed it to her wishing her a good evening.

With the closing of the door, I heard the whisper, “When I was thirsty, you gave me water to drink.” The conviction was immediate. I raced down the stairs relaying to Steve what happened. He shook his head, “Renee, this is the same organization that comes every year. They keep teens out of gangs. I never take the candy bar, but I always give them money. It’s not our job to research, we just need to give. Grab money from my wallet and go see if you can find her.”

I jumped in my car and set out down the street knowing she couldn’t get too far. I spotted her crossing the street approaching another home. She set her large tote down several times to rest her arms and reposition her load. When I pulled up to the house she was about to visit, I could see her confused look.

I rolled down the window and waved her over. She approached my car, and I handed her the money. “Here you go. Thank you and have a great night.” She thanked me and simply walked back to her job.

I prayed, “Lord, forgive me for failing to see the people and opportunities you placed before me. Forgive me for holding tightly to what you ask me to give freely. Help me have your perspective and heart. Amen.”

“For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.’ “Then the righteous will answer Him, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink? ‘And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You? ‘When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ “The King will answer and say to them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.’” Matthew 25:35-40

How do you recognize the voice of God in our lives? We know His Word. We’ve read it so often that when He speaks, we recognize His voice. When I heard God speak, I knew those words weren’t mine. They were the Lord’s.

Do you read the Bible daily? If not, can I lovingly challenge you to begin this one daily discipline that will radically change your life.

 

Does Fear Keep You From Giving Generously?

Do you ever struggle with giving generously because you feel you need to be “safe” and fill your own reserves? If so, you are in good company.

Several years ago one of my sons modeled to me full faith giving. He had no fear of giving all he had for God’s purposes.

In 1 Kings 17, we see a story of a widow on the verge of death, prompted by God to give the little she had to Elijah, the prophet. Elijah urged her to obey God’s leading with, “Do not fear.”

Fear is the root of so many of our holdbacks.

Today I’m sharing a devotional I wrote for Rooted Moms Ministries. Join me for some encouragement to go all out in our generosity.

Be Ready So You Don’t Have To Get Ready

I heard a story last year on a podcast that made a lasting impact on me. Not only have I shared it with my boys, but I find I continue to apply the overall lesson to my own life.

Who Are You Becoming?

A mom shared how her daughter left for college, and as many do, began turning to wilder ways. She enjoyed the partying life college offered, the freedom, and the boys. Even though she was raised in a christian home and knew right from wrong, she continued choosing wrong. It was a season of her life marked by heavy alcohol use and multiple sexual partners.

Then one day she called her mom from college, “Mom! I met a boy who is everything I would want in a man. He is the kind of man I want to marry.” She went on to describe this dream guy. He was attractive, heavily involved in the campus ministry, served in the local church, and he was an incredibly nice and genuine guy.

After she shared all about him with her mom, her mom responded, “Honey, that kind of guy is not looking for a girl like you.”

Truth in Love

Ouch. The stinging truth struck her daughter’s heart. She’d been living for the present, satisfying the cravings of her sin nature. The words of her mom felt like the icy bucket of water to the face awakening her to the reality of her life, choices, and who she was becoming. Who she was in that season isn’t who she wanted to be forever, and it certainly wasn’t who the man of her dreams would be searching for.

She decided that day to turn her life back to Christ and follow Him.

Practice Being Today Who You Want to be Tomorrow

I shared this story with my boys recently in the context of looking towards what they wanted for their future and practicing toward those ends.

If they envision themselves in their dream job, what disciplines are they putting into place today to prepare for that?

One day they will have an apartment or home of their own, practice today for how they will care and manage their own home. Start in the small areas the Lord has entrusted. Manage your own bedroom and bathroom well. Complete chores fully. Become faithful with the small.

“His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful slave. You were faithful with a few things, I will put you in charge of many things; enter into the joy of your master.’” Matthew 25:23

What kind of husband do you want to be? Do you want to be thoughtful, gentle, considerate, selfless? Practice today for the kind of man you want to be. Pray, ask the Lord for help.

Be Ready So You Don’t Have to Get Ready.

Do you dream of that big break, that dream opportunity? Do everything today to build the skills necessary. That way when the opportunity comes, you will already be ready.

One of my son’s has aspirations of building his own business. He has particular areas of focus. I advised him to prepare today by learning the skills, reading the books, listening to the podcasts. In a sense we are preparing our fields for the rain. We are planting the seeds and doing all the work we can in the time of waiting.

“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” Ephesians 2:10

I heard another story of a college football player who didn’t have much chance of seeing any playing time. He made a decision to practice and prepare as if he were in the starting lineup. When several injuries took out the 1st and 2nd strings, he didn’t have to get ready. He was already ready to step out onto the field. He prepared ahead of time for his opportunity.

God’s Timing

God’s timing is perfect in every way. We have no control over when our opportunities arrive, but we do have control over who we become and what we build as we wait.

Let’s decide today what dreams we have for our future in order that we can wisely decide today what action steps to take to prepare.