Day 15: The Uncomfortable Dance

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[box] “If you obeyed God because you understood what he was doing and how it would benefit you, then you’d actually be stationary.” Tim Keller[/box]

God did not create rhythm in my bones.  It’s physically painful at times in fact.  I found myself surrounded at an event by women who apparently God gifted with an internal beat.  The fact I had not been gifted this way had never been more apparent to me.

The band began, the women clapped, the women swayed. The women – all but me- seemed to move in time to the music.  Gracefully, beautifully, as if no effort were required.  It just happened naturally.  For me this was not the case.

The more everyone moved, the stiffer my body became.  I was painfully aware of my obvious discomfort.  So I fought the discomfort rather than moving with it.  My body became even more rigid because now I was certain everyone around me could see how awkward this was for me.  I wasn’t even listening to the music because I was begging God to just stop the music so we could move back to something more pleasant and comfortable for me.

And then it happened. I saw a woman staring at me with a questioning look in her eye. I could read her mind.  I knew what she was thinking.  I felt the panic and embarrassment.  And I began begging God harder and faster.  Relief felt so sweet when that song ended and I could move back to my comfy spot.

There are times my discomfort begs me to run.  To hide.  To escape.

How often do I find myself in places that are so uncomfortable that I beg God to remove me from that place?  How often do I find myself in a difficult relationship and beg God to change the situation? How often do I know God is nudging me to take a chance by risking my heart, but I don’t want it to be broken because it just feels too uncomfortable.  So I play it safe instead.

When I’ve taken a closer look at why I respond the way I do, I typically see fear and pride at the root.  I don’t want to feel pain.  I don’t want to expose myself.  I don’t want others to see my weaknesses.  But it is in the difficult relationships, the hard circumstances, the awkward moments that God’s power is so clearly seen.  It’s when others can see past us and see Him.

As I’ve come to understand the magnitude of this, I’ve discovered the freedom that is gifted to me.  I don’t have to have it all together.  I don’t have to know just the right words to say.  I don’t have to be perfect.  I just have to be available to get a little uncomfortable with God.  I have to be available to dance when I don’t want to dance.

[box] This is Day 15 in a series, 31 Days to Get Uncomfortable With God. Please click here for a listing of all posts in this series. If you would like posts delivered to your inbox, please click here.[/box]

 

 

Day 14: Trust and Obey

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I love Bible studies and for the most part am in one every opportunity I have.  3 consecutive studies I took were on Deuteronomy or Exodus.  I didn’t know this when I signed up.  I even remember telling Steve that I was getting a bit bored of studying the Israelites’ journey out of Egypt.  I’m embarrassed to admit that now.

When God creates you with a hard head and a stubborn will, He must put you through studies until you get the lesson I suppose.  He knows how He created me, so this is no surprise to Him.

2 years ago the theme in my Community Bible Study class was “Trust and Obey”.  All through our study, it all came back to this one question:  Do I trust Him enough to obey Him?  Now I’m asking Do I trust Him enough to obey Him when it doesn’t feel good?

Isn’t it easy to study the Israelites and laugh at their faithlessness?  Isn’t it easy to watch them from afar and wonder how in the world they could see God perform miracles with their own eyes and still disobey Him?  How could they be a stiff-necked people (talk about uncomfortable).

Oh how like the Israelites I am.  God has placed me in a situation where I must make a choice. I must choose to trust Him, obey Him, and act out of my discomfort.  Or I can fall victim to my fears.  I can justify my actions or inactions and state a case that actually sounds pretty good. I believe I can convince you if you hear me out.

However, God placed a few key people in my life that aren’t buying it.  And they have called me out on it.  My husband had to choose the uncomfortable path when he sat me down to help show me where I’m allowing fear to dictate my course and my path.  He had to show me my lack of faith in where God is leading me.  I am grateful he didn’t allow his fear of discomfort to prevent him from speaking truth into my life.

The next day I dug out a Bible study from 2 1/2 years ago.  Priscilla Schirer’s One in a Million (BTW, please do this study.  It’s one of my favorites of all times).  I opened right to page 72:

“The Hebrew’s allowed fear to overshadow them and began to doubt God’s loves.  Quite literally, they began to grumble……This line of thought parallels our modern tendency.  When we can’t see signs of God’s intervention, we often start to complain.”

“The spirt of complaint often takes this pattern.  It begins as frustration and spreads into a rain flame of disgust, whining, and longing for something other than what God provides.  Complaining is what kept God’s people from passing their spiritual tests. Again and again their gaze proved so tightly focused on what they wished would happen that they despised reality.”

“Unwilling to recall God’s past goodness or anticipate His future activity, they became blind to what God was doing in the now.  Israel’s faith in God and view of their journey grew distorted, so they ignored truth about God’s love and faithfulness.  Grumbling blinded them to the fact that the in-between time was part of God’s plan. Make no mistake about it – a grumbling spirit will rob you of what God designed the in-between time to teach you.  It will keep you from getting the most out of your journey with God. ‘The right attitude in real difficulty is unconditional acceptance and obedience.  God’s own must never stand in judgement upon Him.’ “

Let’s choose trust.  Let’s choose obedience.  It doesn’t come naturally when coupled with fear.

[box] This is Day 14 in a series, 31 Days to Get Uncomfortable With God. Please click here for a listing of all posts in this series. If you would like posts delivered to your inbox, please click here.[/box]

Day 13: Is it time to camp or travel?

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The journey of the Israelites out of Egypt is simply captivating.  So much can be unpacked here.  Moving outside the comfort zone is a theme that flashes like a neon sign.

Numbers 9:15-23

23 “So they camped or traveled at the Lord’s command and they did whatever the Lord told them through Moses.”

I want to be that open.  Tell me to move.  I’ll move.  Tell me to stay.  I’ll stay.

Although the Isrealites lived in uncomfortable living conditions as slaves for 400 years in Egypt, it was all they knew.  Even the discomfort of life can become a source of comfort.  It’s familiar- which can make us feel accepted.

I want to camp when the Lord tells me to camp.  And if He wakes me in the most uncomfortable of times and places, I want to pack up and follow Him.  I want to.  Want is not enough to act.  I need courage.  Courage that comes only from Him.

Lord, give me the courage I need on a daily basis to stop when you stop and to go when you go. Give me the courage to camp when you say camp and pack up when you say leave.  Give me courage to leave what I prefer and follow what You know is best.  Give me courage.

[box] This is Day 13 in a series, 31 Days to Get Uncomfortable With God. Please click here for a listing of all posts in this series. If you would like posts delivered to your inbox, please click here.[/box]

Day 12: Do You Dare?

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“God, make me so uncomfortable that I will do the very thing I fear.”  Ruby Dee

Would you dare to challenge yourself today?  Would you take one small step out of your comfort zone today?

Could today be the day you pick up the phone and begin the process of healing old wounds?  Could today be the day you choose to show love to someone who is difficult to love?  Could today be the day you face a fear head on that is holding you back from God’s best?  Could today be the day you let go of something that provides “security”?  Could today be the day you risk your heart?  Could today be the day you start that new project or venture you feel God leading you to but don’t feel you are capable of doing?

Could today be the day you take a step out of your comfort zone and watch what God does?

[box] This is Day 12 in a series, 31 Days to Get Uncomfortable With God. Please click here for a listing of all posts in this series. If you would like posts delivered to your inbox, please click here.[/box]

Day 11: God’s Call

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“But God doesn’t call us to be comfortable. He calls us to trust Him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if He doesn’t come through.” Francis Chan, Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God

Happy Friday, friends.  May your weekend be filled with uncomfortable situations that call you to trust Him completely.  He will never fail you.

[box] This is Day 11 in a series, 31 Days to Get Uncomfortable With God. Please click here for a listing of all posts in this series. If you would like posts delivered to your inbox, please click here.[/box]

Day 10: Happy 10th Birthday Jacob

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Dear Jacob,

Your birthday happens to fall in the middle of my 31 day series on getting uncomfortable with God.  You don’t fit in this topic.  In fact, I can think of all the ways you make my life more comfortable.

You see, I get you.  And that brings me comfort.

Where did a decade go so quickly?  Will the next decade follow the same pace?  Please, Lord, let it not.  The moments I have with you give such meaning to the ordinary of life.

You have a beautiful soul.  The Lord has greatly blessed you, don’t ever take a moment or a gift for granted.  It all comes from His hands.  Every good thing, every bad thing that He will turn to good.  It’s all a gift from Him.

As you enter this next decade, you will be challenged in greater ways.  The Lord grows us through trials and challenges.  Face each one with thanksgiving.  That probably doesn’t make sense to a 10-year-old.  Tuck that one away and ask the Lord to let it penetrate.

You are so many things this world desires.  You are loyal, such a loyal, loyal friend.  You are tender-hearted.  You are a deep thinker.  You are courageous.  You are a lover of God’s people.

You are easy.  Oh my dear, you are easy.  You are easy to parent, you are easy to live with, you are easy to be friends with.  Yet you aren’t a pleaser.  You just have a sweet, easy spirit that makes being with you a comfortable joy.

You move at a pace that is slower than I like.  I’m constantly telling you to hurry up.  For that, I’m sorry.  Your speed is a reminder to me that life needs to be turned down a notch.  Hey, is that how I can slow this next decade?  I think I’ll give it a try.

We love you.  We say these words repeatedly, but soak in them.  You are unconditionally loved. You haven’t earned our love.  You haven’t earned God’s love.  Yet you are loved.

Cling to this in your double digit years.  You are deeply loved.  You are accepted.  God is always faithful and good, and His love endures FOREVER.

Thank you for blessing our lives for 10 beautiful years.  We pray God’s blessing on you as you enter a new year.

Happy Birthday, sweet Jacob.

[box] This is Day 10 in a series, 31 Days to Get Uncomfortable With God. Please click here for a listing of all posts in this series. If you would like posts delivered to your inbox, please click here.[/box]

Day 9: Promoting a Book is Painfully Uncomfortable

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I had no idea releasing, promoting, and marketing a book would be so uncomfortable.  Honestly, I thought the hard part was in the writing and publishing.  I naively believed that God taught me all my lessons in the 4 years it took me to write, develop, and get it published.

I sat back and patted myself on the back for a job well done in following God’s will while I let out a big sigh of relief and said, “Whew, glad we are through that, God.  You’ve got this now, right?”

I thought my job was to write and God’s job was to deliver the message.  I thought once it was in the marketplace, God would just deliver it into the appropriate hands and I would begin writing book #2.  (All my writer/author friends are chuckling right now.  It’s ok, I can laugh at myself)

How wrong I was.  The first clue came in talking to other authors who would say, “So how is the marketing going?”  They said it with this secret knowledge.

I froze.  Fear froze me.  I could not get out and promote this thing.  I’m not in sales.  It’s out there, if people find it, great.  If not, hopefully God will reveal it to them.  Doesn’t work that way everyone informed me.

As Max Lucado says in Hermie the Common Caterpillar “God’s not through with me yet.”

This book is not about me.  It’s about God.  This book isn’t Renee Robinson.  This book is a Savior that came to die for each of us so we could live eternally with Him.  This book isn’t “look how great my family is.”  This book is a message of hope to families who value family.  So why is promoting it so hard for me?

I’m about to share something that my flesh wants to bury.  My biggest area of sin is my pride. Even as I type, pride and I are battling each other through the delete key. Pride looks different than you might think.  Many of us have a false understanding of pride, which we will unpack down the road.

Pride- the ugly, heinous monster that transforms into different versions depending on the day and hour.  Pride turned itself inside out.  It was still pride, but in reverse.

You see my focus was on myself.  Not God.  It wasn’t “Look at me and what I can do.”  It was “I can’t do that!”  “Who am I to be out there telling people about God.”  “I’m messed up.  I sin constantly.  I don’t have this mastered yet.”  These are the lies pride whispered in my heart. Pride said, “God can’t use you.  You aren’t good enough yet.  You have to write like her, you have to speak like her, you have to have this many followers to be used by God.  You aren’t ready.”

Pride was convincing me to stay comfortable.  It murmured that God would use someone else.

Pride comes in many forms.  For some it’s when we think more highly of ourselves than we ought to.  For others it can be when we think less of ourselves than God desires.  Where is the focus in both circumstances?  ME!  Pride is when the focus is on me.  Me, me, me.  My weakness, my fear, my inabilities, my lack of contacts, whatever it is, the focus is on me!

“God, who am I to be out in the public spreading your truths?  You couldn’t possibly use me.”

He whispered back, “Who are you that you WON’T do this for me?”

It was the whisper that trumpeted through all my fears. Who am I?  That’s right, who am I?

I am a daughter of the King.  And because He lived the perfect, sinless life, I don’t have to.  He died for me.  I accepted His free gift of salvation at 24.  I no longer have to be perfect.  He uses the messed up.  It’s Grace.

If my perfect, holy God can hang on a cross for me, who am I to decide I can’t be used by Him? Only He has the right to decide who He will and won’t use.  That is not my choice.

I told pride to go away.  I’ll see him again.  He’ll look different.  He’s sneaky like that.  For today, I rest in knowing I’m a King’s daughter and that’s all that really matters.

[box] This is Day 9 in a series, 31 Days to Get Uncomfortable With God. Please click here for a listing of all posts in this series. If you would like posts delivered to your inbox, please click here.[/box]