After a morning of eyes filling with tears, straining to hold them back, allowing a few to escape, and doing it repeatedly, my head screamed for relief by afternoon. The emotions were right at the surface all week long as we wrapped up yet another school year with our three boys.
Yesterday we celebrated awards day at their school. The first year we attended this school, Steve said, “Make sure I never miss an awards day.” Even if our kids aren’t receiving a “big” award, it’s a day not to be missed. The teachers see the best of our kids. They have them for the best parts of the day. We get them home when they are worn out and ready to fight. Because the teachers don’t have to live with them, they have the ability to see the wonderful gifts their character and hearts have to offer. Awards day is a day of celebrating the heart of each child and seeing the unique way God has created them.
Through the crazy schedules, chaotic days, and year-end celebrations, I came away this week with some noteworthy reflections. I’m not sure how that happened because I barely had time to think this week. This year felt different for some reason. I had a different perspective of my boys and a new appreciation for their hearts and lives.
They worked hard, and it paid off. Honestly, I really don’t care about the grades. I care about attitude and effort. If those are good, the grades will follow.
As a mom we spend most of our time in the trenches. At times that means we see only the battle we are fighting at the current moment. We are unable to see the bigger picture and what it will look like on the side of victory. Too much work is left and too much is at stake.
Our morning routines this year were better than last. Progress worth celebrating. Less fighting, less rushing, less chaos. Nevertheless, we spent hours over the year breaking up arguments, settling disputes, training in loving, directing eyes back to the Lord off the offender. In those moments, it’s hard to see all of the good wrapped up in those hearts.
This week I’ve been at the school almost every day. Year end parties at the skating rink, year end parties at the school, science project volcano explosions, awards day, meetings. You name it. But today is the last day. Today we celebrate another school year the Lord has gifted to us.
I’ll be honest, I’m fighting anxiety this week pretty hard. It seems this week is a culmination of accomplishments, discoveries, endings, and beginnings. My emotions have been hanging at the surface all week, bursting forth with every opportunity for expression. While my kids are wrapping up this school year, I’m heading off to the Blue Ridge Christian Writers Conference for 4 days. This holds another bag of mixed emotions. Excitement, anticipation, nervousness, fear to name a few.
Would you pray for me while I’m away at the conference? Particularly, that I would be renewed and refreshed. That I would see the Lord with fresh eyes and be granted wisdom and discernment. Prayers for divine appointments would be appreciated and prayers that I can string together coherent sentences and communicate the messages God has placed on my heart would be nice too. Finally, pray for my family while I’m away. Pray for my husband and the grandparents on duty for week one of summer break. For safety and sweet memories.