Day 15: The Uncomfortable Dance

[box] “If you obeyed God because you understood what he was doing and how it would benefit you, then you’d actually be stationary.” Tim Keller[/box]

God did not create rhythm in my bones.  It’s physically painful at times in fact.  I found myself surrounded at an event by women who apparently God gifted with an internal beat.  The fact I had not been gifted this way had never been more apparent to me.

The band began, the women clapped, the women swayed. The women – all but me- seemed to move in time to the music.  Gracefully, beautifully, as if no effort were required.  It just happened naturally.  For me this was not the case.

The more everyone moved, the stiffer my body became.  I was painfully aware of my obvious discomfort.  So I fought the discomfort rather than moving with it.  My body became even more rigid because now I was certain everyone around me could see how awkward this was for me.  I wasn’t even listening to the music because I was begging God to just stop the music so we could move back to something more pleasant and comfortable for me.

And then it happened. I saw a woman staring at me with a questioning look in her eye. I could read her mind.  I knew what she was thinking.  I felt the panic and embarrassment.  And I began begging God harder and faster.  Relief felt so sweet when that song ended and I could move back to my comfy spot.

There are times my discomfort begs me to run.  To hide.  To escape.

How often do I find myself in places that are so uncomfortable that I beg God to remove me from that place?  How often do I find myself in a difficult relationship and beg God to change the situation? How often do I know God is nudging me to take a chance by risking my heart, but I don’t want it to be broken because it just feels too uncomfortable.  So I play it safe instead.

When I’ve taken a closer look at why I respond the way I do, I typically see fear and pride at the root.  I don’t want to feel pain.  I don’t want to expose myself.  I don’t want others to see my weaknesses.  But it is in the difficult relationships, the hard circumstances, the awkward moments that God’s power is so clearly seen.  It’s when others can see past us and see Him.

As I’ve come to understand the magnitude of this, I’ve discovered the freedom that is gifted to me.  I don’t have to have it all together.  I don’t have to know just the right words to say.  I don’t have to be perfect.  I just have to be available to get a little uncomfortable with God.  I have to be available to dance when I don’t want to dance.

[box] This is Day 15 in a series, 31 Days to Get Uncomfortable With God. Please click here for a listing of all posts in this series. If you would like posts delivered to your inbox, please click here.[/box]