Day 9: Promoting a Book is Painfully Uncomfortable

I had no idea releasing, promoting, and marketing a book would be so uncomfortable.  Honestly, I thought the hard part was in the writing and publishing.  I naively believed that God taught me all my lessons in the 4 years it took me to write, develop, and get it published.

I sat back and patted myself on the back for a job well done in following God’s will while I let out a big sigh of relief and said, “Whew, glad we are through that, God.  You’ve got this now, right?”

I thought my job was to write and God’s job was to deliver the message.  I thought once it was in the marketplace, God would just deliver it into the appropriate hands and I would begin writing book #2.  (All my writer/author friends are chuckling right now.  It’s ok, I can laugh at myself)

How wrong I was.  The first clue came in talking to other authors who would say, “So how is the marketing going?”  They said it with this secret knowledge.

I froze.  Fear froze me.  I could not get out and promote this thing.  I’m not in sales.  It’s out there, if people find it, great.  If not, hopefully God will reveal it to them.  Doesn’t work that way everyone informed me.

As Max Lucado says in Hermie the Common Caterpillar “God’s not through with me yet.”

This book is not about me.  It’s about God.  This book isn’t Renee Robinson.  This book is a Savior that came to die for each of us so we could live eternally with Him.  This book isn’t “look how great my family is.”  This book is a message of hope to families who value family.  So why is promoting it so hard for me?

I’m about to share something that my flesh wants to bury.  My biggest area of sin is my pride. Even as I type, pride and I are battling each other through the delete key. Pride looks different than you might think.  Many of us have a false understanding of pride, which we will unpack down the road.

Pride- the ugly, heinous monster that transforms into different versions depending on the day and hour.  Pride turned itself inside out.  It was still pride, but in reverse.

You see my focus was on myself.  Not God.  It wasn’t “Look at me and what I can do.”  It was “I can’t do that!”  “Who am I to be out there telling people about God.”  “I’m messed up.  I sin constantly.  I don’t have this mastered yet.”  These are the lies pride whispered in my heart. Pride said, “God can’t use you.  You aren’t good enough yet.  You have to write like her, you have to speak like her, you have to have this many followers to be used by God.  You aren’t ready.”

Pride was convincing me to stay comfortable.  It murmured that God would use someone else.

Pride comes in many forms.  For some it’s when we think more highly of ourselves than we ought to.  For others it can be when we think less of ourselves than God desires.  Where is the focus in both circumstances?  ME!  Pride is when the focus is on me.  Me, me, me.  My weakness, my fear, my inabilities, my lack of contacts, whatever it is, the focus is on me!

“God, who am I to be out in the public spreading your truths?  You couldn’t possibly use me.”

He whispered back, “Who are you that you WON’T do this for me?”

It was the whisper that trumpeted through all my fears. Who am I?  That’s right, who am I?

I am a daughter of the King.  And because He lived the perfect, sinless life, I don’t have to.  He died for me.  I accepted His free gift of salvation at 24.  I no longer have to be perfect.  He uses the messed up.  It’s Grace.

If my perfect, holy God can hang on a cross for me, who am I to decide I can’t be used by Him? Only He has the right to decide who He will and won’t use.  That is not my choice.

I told pride to go away.  I’ll see him again.  He’ll look different.  He’s sneaky like that.  For today, I rest in knowing I’m a King’s daughter and that’s all that really matters.

[box] This is Day 9 in a series, 31 Days to Get Uncomfortable With God. Please click here for a listing of all posts in this series. If you would like posts delivered to your inbox, please click here.[/box]