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3 Ways To Begin Loving God More – And It Won’t Happen Overnight

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When Jacob was born, I’d only been a christian for 3 years. I was desperately hungry for godly women to show me how to raise godly children.

I read every book I could get my hands on. I attended every Bible study offered. I even went to a women’s retreat at a church I didn’t belong to and didn’t know a soul attending.

I’m an introvert and never before recall doing something so wild.

A hunger for the Lord leads us to do what we never imagined doing.

I began going to a group for young christian moms very similar to MOPS when my boys were babies. 2 mentor moms led a large group session. Then we split into small groups, led by a mentor mom and also filled with an equal mix of young moms and older, wiser moms. It was one of the best decisions I made as a young mom. By far.

A hunger for God will not be left to starve. He will fill it in ways we never imagined when we seek Him with our whole heart.

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The wisdom these women shared found a spot in my heart forever. My favorite mentor mom spoke with such passion and conviction. I’ll never forget her sharing a story of a time her daughter lied. She told us never to call our children liars, even if we know they are lying. She said instead to pray that the Holy Spirit bring about the conviction and allow Him to do the work that brings heart change.

I’ve followed her advice on numerous occasions, and she is right. The Spirit does what I can’t do. And the growth that begins in their hearts as they learn to hear His voice is astounding.

Once she told us how to pray for our children. Covering every area of their lives. She told us never to stop praying for their salvation, even after they’ve accepted Christ. I never got that until years later when my young boys accepted Christ. Salvation is only the beginning. That is the point true life for them begins.

She told us to love God more than we loved our children. I nodded my head in agreement, but in my heart…it wasn’t true. If I’m totally honest, I said I loved God more than anything, but I actually loved my children and my husband more than God.

I began praying simply for God to give me a love for Him that is far greater than my love for anything else in the entire world. God is faithful. He’s now done that. I may not act it or show it all the time, but I can honestly say I love Him more than I love my family. Yet, I recognize I still don’t love Him enough.

And at one meeting, I took note of her daily Bible reading plan. I had no idea that this one simple step would be the means by which God began to turn my so-so love into a passionate love for Him.

Christians are notorious for giving the answers “just pray” or “read the Bible.” Sadly, we often brush these away and look for something with some substance. Something tangible and measurable. We look for the action plan. We look for the secret that no one has discovered. Partly because we don’t believe that the Word is living and active, sharper than any double-edged sword. Partly because when we pray, we often feel we are talking to air (not true…but we’ve all felt that way at times).

We look for the latest bestseller that tells us something new. The author who has discovered what no one else has discovered. I have bookshelves of christian parenting books. And while they have ALL helped me become a better parent, none have done what I was most desperate for. None made me love Him more.

What I needed most to be the best mom I could be is to love Jesus more than I loved being a mom.

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I needed to fall in love with His Word. And I did. Slowly. Over many years. It didn’t happen overnight. It happened little by little. With each reading of His Word, He grew me up just a little bit more. As He grew me up, He opened my mind to understand new things in His Word. And that cycle continues. And I pray it never ends. That I never stop seeking Him, to love Him more than I do right now.

The thing about His Word is that our human minds can read it cover to cover 100 times, and it will never, ever, not ever become boring. God will illuminate certain passages at different points of our lives to speak straight into our hearts.

At this mom’s group, they gave a method for reading the Bible daily to grow in wisdom. Whatever the date is you start there in the Psalms. For instance, if it is September 28th. You start in Psalm 28. Then you add 30 and read Psalm 58, add 30 again and read Psalm 88, add 30 again and read Psalm 118, add 30 again and read Psalm 148. Then end it by reading that date in Proverbs, so Proverbs 28.

In some seasons, I was only able to read these chapters each morning. In other seasons, I’ve been able to read them in addition to other books of the Bible or in conjunction with a particular study. But reading Psalms and Proverbs daily gave me a plan to stay in His Word every single day.

3 simple steps will begin the process of turning our love for Him into a passionate love.

  • Reading the Bible daily – His Word alone. Christian books are awesome and wonderful tools. But they must be secondary.
  • Praying – all kinds of prayers. Some in quiet, some on the go, some long, some short. Prayers of nothing but praise. Prayers of thanksgiving. Intercession. Simply talking to God throughout our days. Not getting into a routine and forgetting He is with us.
  • Memorizing scripture – this can be intentional, but it also happens with the habit of daily reading. The Lord often brings scripture to mind that I don’t remember intentionally memorizing. Reading His Word will soak into our souls, and He will bring it forth when we need it. And we don’t always realize it, but we need His Word every hour, every day.

I still have a long way to go to love Him more. There is no point where I will arrive. I will never say, “Yes, now I love Him as much as possible.” I believe it’s impossible.

God is love. If God is love, the creator of love, as He grows our hearts to love Him more, we will naturally seek Him more. When we seek Him more, we will see Him more. When we see Him more, we love Him more. And it will never end. The love will grow more intense and burn brighter with time, but it will never reach a point where our heart says enough.

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When We Fight: Do We Ruin or Reinforce Relationships

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I’m amazed how in a span of 2 seconds, a moment can turn from fun and laughter to anger and hurt. How quickly I can go from thinking positive and loving thoughts to ones I am shamed to own. Seems the harder I attempt to avoid conflict, the harder it pursues me.

He said something. I said something. One of us took it the wrong way, one of us didn’t like the tone we used, one of us became defensive, the other followed the defense strategy. Something silly turned into something beyond ridiculous. Hurtful words were exchanged followed by feelings the enemy wants to become all too familiar.

Then the AHA moment.

When we fight, we are not enemies. He is not my enemy. I am not his enemy. When we disagree or misunderstand each other or whatever has happened that leads us down the path to conflict, we are not fighting against each other. We are for each other. There is an enemy that fights against us and he loves when we get off-course and look at each other as the enemy.

I spoke those words to my husband then sat in silence. And he reached over, grabbed my hand, and said “I don’t want to fight.” Immediately the tension dissolved. It was like the moment you are driving through dense fog, straining to see the road, then suddenly the fog is gone, everything is clear.

Of course we don’t want to fight. Conflict doesn’t have to result in fighting and hurting the ones we love. A simple shift in our perspective can change everything. And save a relationship.

If I could have my way, my days would be filled with complete peace, free of any conflicts or dramas. I enjoy conflict-free relationships so much, I naturally avoid any that seem to be magnets for drama or misunderstandings. I’m not proud to admit this as I know this is not how God intends to grow me in holiness. There are parts of me that can’t be refined when they aren’t put to the test. Conflict is certainly a refining fire.

At the root of many of our conflicts is a desire to get our own way. We are naturally very selfish and think from our own perspective. We struggle to think from another person’s perspective. This is human nature. We become defensive and want them to understand us so much we fail to understand them.

When my husband grabbed my hand and told me he didn’t want to fight me, the hard wall I was erecting around my heart crumbled. I saw him immediately for the person he is to me. My husband, who loves me wholly. He wasn’t my enemy. Because he loves me, he is for me. How easy it is to lose sight of this in the heat of the battle. We forget the ones we love are not our enemies.

I have 2 key verses that come to mind when the heat turns up.

Ecclesiastes 7:9

Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.

Proverbs 17:27

A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered.

I don’t want to be a fool, who is provoked easily. I want to be a woman of knowledge and understanding. Without the help of the Holy Spirit, this is impossible for me to attain.

There is a question we can ask ourselves when we feel conflict arising, and we begin to fight. Am I fighting to win or am I fighting to understand? How we answer that question will change the course of the discussion. When we are trying to understand, we are open-minded, we are understanding, we are empathetic, and we remember this is a person we love very much. When we fight to win, our pride blinds us, we lash out, we are easily provoked, and we will say things that can never be taken back.

There is something else we forget in conflict. God created each of us uniquely distinct from each other. Therefore, we will not always agree on everything. And this is o.k. It doesn’t mean the other person doesn’t love us just because they don’t agree with us. It doesn’t mean we think less of each other. We simply disagree. We tend to put up our defenses when someone doesn’t agree with us. Pride loves that because we begin to dig our heels in convinced we can convince them we are right.

Often, we are very wrong. In conflict, there can easily be 2 right sides that simply see things differently. We don’t have to fight to win, we just need to fight to understand. And love.

During a difficult time with one of my sons, I wrote about realizing who I was fighting against when I fought with my son. I also wrote a letter to my boys about handling their bickering. Both of these posts, I turn back to myself and how I handle the ones I love in my life.

Lord, teach me to fight to understand when I’m in conflict. Put to death the pride in my heart that fights to win and be right. Give me wisdom and knowledge so I can be a woman of understanding who is even-tempered and not easily provoked in my spirit to anger. Above all things, let me put on love for it covers a multitude of sins. 

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