The secret to becoming younger inside despite aging outside

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On a recent ski trip with my family, I had one of those pivotal moment experiences. The kind that makes you look at your life and decide you will do whatever it takes to make a change. After only a short half day of skiing, my quads tapped out. To be fair to my screaming muscles, they did work harder than normal as I labored to help my son’s girlfriend down her first ever green run. It took us two hours, we were lapped about three times by the family, and I had multiple moments of helping her up and back into her skis while trying to keep myself from back skiing down the mountain.

The remainder of the trip, my muscles reminded me we are aging. I am forty-six years old, but I forget. I feel young at heart and in fairly good shape. The mountain proved to me it was time to make a change. When we returned from our trip, I found a personal trainer and committed to six months of training in the gym with her three days a week. I committed to a strict diet in conjunction with strength training to help me gain muscle mass. I went all in.

After my first training day, I stood on a scale that spit out all types of metrics I know nothing about. However, the one that made me most excited was my metabolic age. 31 years old. I knew it! I knew I felt young for a reason. Inside I feel younger than my outer body lives out on the daily.

“So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.” 1 Corinthians 4:16

We live in the physical world. We age, our body breaks down; however, if we are in Christ, our inner self is being renewed daily. Just as I work with my personal trainer to strengthen my outer body, when I spend time with God, spend time in His Word, choose to obey Him, spend time in prayer, meditate on scripture, and serve the body of Christ, I am putting my inner self through spiritual strength training.

My trainer coached me through chest presses I would have never done without the pressure of someone standing over me. She knew I could do what I was convinced I couldn’t do. I didn’t tell her, but inside I was telling myself it was impossible to do even one more press. Yet, I did five more simply because she stayed by my side telling me to keep going.

Christ stands at our side. We will not be shaken. We will not be moved. He knows that we are weak, but He is strong. He knows He will give us every bit of strength to walk out this life in a way that makes our inner self strong and lovely.

“For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” 1 Corinthians 4:17-18

What light momentary affliction are you facing today? Is it a tantrum throwing toddler, a rebellious teenager, an aging parent, a marital struggle, loneliness, rejection, job loss, financial hardship? Sometimes the weight of our worry, anxiety, and struggle feels too much to bear. And it is. He never intended us to bear the weight alone or stand without our trainer at our side. He is there, assisting you, holding the weight for you.

But the training the Lord has us in is preparing us for eternity. What we walk through here on Earth is preparing us to carry an eternal weight of glory! Just stop and meditate on that for a moment. We will be entrusted in eternity to carry the weight of His glory. So we train now in godliness.

Give little attention to the physical world. Keep your eyes fixed on what is unseen and eternal. This life will be over in a nano-second.

“So we do not lose heart…..”

Lord, Thank you that you promise to renew us day by day as we stay close to you. Thank you for your Word that instructs us how to lift the weight of this world off of us and onto your shoulders. Thank you that your yoke is easy. Thank you that you are always near so we need never lose heart. Strengthen us on the inside so that we can walk in this physical world well. Prepare us to carry that eternal weight of glory. What you have for us, the mind has never conceived. Wow, Lord. You are too good to us. Forgive us for forgetting you so frequently. Keep our eyes fixed on you and the unseen. We love you. 

In Jesus’ name,

Amen

 

Why you can relax about politics, culture, and evil in the world

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After the 2008 election, we attended a church service where the pastor preached a sermon about how regardless of who wins elections, God remains on the throne. With our lips, we declare God is sovereign, but watch our actions and attitudes when our candidates lose elections. Our belief statements often misalign with our attitudes.

Fast forward to 2020, the year that traumatized souls at a deep level whether from pandemic living, political climate, or uprises in cities. Now we sit on the verge of 2023 and the anxiety has reached new heights.

I had a conversation recently with someone who was deeply upset about what we are seeing in the world. Culture is changing at a rapid pace and evil seems to have increased. Maybe it has, or maybe we simply see more through media, particularly social media, than at any other time in history. Regardless, it is creating traumatized souls.

I prayed for the person I’d had this conversation with, and later that day my radio station landed on religious talk radio. The pastor preached from Psalm 37. I went straight home and opened the Bible to see for myself. This Psalm has become a soul balm.

The verse literally begins by telling us not to worry about the wicked.

“Don’t worry about the wicked or envy those who do wrong. For like grass, they soon fade away. Like spring flowers, they soon wither.” Psalm 37:1-2

We are far too worried about the wicked. We are much too weighed down by the evil. As humans we cannot possibly handle carrying the burden evil brings to our souls. It’s time to be done once and for all. God’s Word tells us the reason we don’t need to worry about the wicked, or envy the fact they seem to escape punishment, is they will soon be gone.

Whatever we get rid of, we must replace with something better. If you’ve ever fasted, you realize how important it is to fill what once took your time and attention with something different.

Psalm 37:3-4 tells us what to replace our worry over evil with. “Trust in the Lord, and do good: dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

Practically speaking, replace giving your attention to the news and decide to do good. Live your life trusting God. Be faithful with what He’s given you. Go love on your family, serve in your church, talk to your neighbors, smile at strangers, sit for extended times with God in prayer and reading His Word. Delight in Him. Delight in living your life.

Verses 7-8 are key. “Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices! Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath! Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil. For the evildoers shall be cut off, but those who wait for the Lord shall inherit the land.”

Don’t worry. Don’t be angry. Be patient. Trust God. Why? Because our anger will only lead to more evil and because wrath is for God not us. Their time is coming. Thankfully, we can simply live our lives doing good and leave the handling of evil to the only One capable of administering justice.

2020 damaged my soul. I allowed myself to fret over evil and to sit in my anger over all the media told me to be angry about. Three years later, I still feel the effects it had and am only now seeing the waste of time and energy it was.

I don’t watch the news. I lost all trust in their reports, which are not much more than fear-mongering and propaganda. All sides of the news. All sides have an agenda. They want our reaction and attention.

Psalm 37 tells us exactly how to handle living in a world of evil: Don’t worry. Live where you are. Dwell. Do good. Keep your focus on Jesus. Trust He will take care of everything in due time.

“In just a little while, the wicked will be no more; though you look carefully at his place, he will not be there. But the meek shall inherit the land and delight themselves in abundant peace.” Psalm 37:10-11

 

 

Where’s Your Focus Today?

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My dear friend and spiritual mentor sends a daily Bible verse to a group of people. It’s the one email I open every single day. This morning she sent a verse that is commonplace to anyone who has spent much time in God’s Word. The temptation when we read familiar verses is to pridefully skim. We may think to ourselves, “Oh, I know this one,” and move right on by. Or maybe it’s just me?

“May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.” Psalm 19:14

I memorized this verse years ago. I’ve prayed it back to the Lord. I’ve read it to my kids. I’ve written it on index cards and taped to my mirror. This verse is like a cozy blanket in the dead of winter to me. However, today, the Lord halted my prideful skim.

I am careful not to put words to God’s mouth by claiming “God said to me,” I feel this is highly overused when we want to put authority to our thoughts, plans, or actions. Not always, but at times. But as I read this verse today, I felt God hold up the stop sign. “Are your meditations pleasing to me?”

Meditation, according to dictionary.com, is continued, extended thought, contemplation, reflection.

What am I giving extended thought to? For me it is my worries. I have so many worries for my kids as all parents do. I want the very best for them. I spend countless hours contemplating their lives, futures, current choices, paths, etc.

Your meditations may be different. Maybe you spend extended thought on regret. Maybe it is on coddling your unforgiveness or bitter thoughts. Maybe it’s to the insane political climate. Maybe it’s to your pleasure and entertainment. Maybe it’s to envying what you see around you. Maybe it’s to your future and your path. Maybe it’s to good things, maybe it’s to bad things.

What I’m pondering in my heart, will eventually make its way out of my mouth.

Are the words coming out of my mouth pleasing to the Lord?

“The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.” Luke 6:45

What comes out is indicative of what is stored in our hearts. Be careful what comes into your heart.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23

Wow, above all else. How important does God believe we should guard our hearts. It determines the course of our very lives.

Back to my original pondering today. What am I meditating on? Is it pleasing to the Lord? I may control, to a degree, what comes out of my mouth and feel that is pleasing to the Lord, but what am I tossing around in my heart. Is THAT pleasing to the Lord?

Lord, I confess my pride often when I approach your Word. You are limitless and full truth. Your Word is sharper than any two-edged sword. Thank you for your Word that convicts and guides. You are so good to us. Forgive me, Lord, for the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart that are not pleasing to You. Soften my heart and gentle my words. Create in me a new heart and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Help me place all my worries at your feet so I’m not tempted to meditate on my problems more than I meditate on the truth of your Word. Amen

P.S. One practical tool I’m using currently is to turn my worries into spoken prayers. I’m trying to retrain my brain to turn to God before myself. Each time I realize I’m fostering a worried thought, I whisper it back to God and pray about it. Worry won’t change my problems. God can. But even if He doesn’t change the circumstance, He will change my heart in the process.

 

The Lost Art of Fasting

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Fasting isn’t a popular topic. The moment the subject is broached you almost see people become physically uncomfortable. The conversation switches rather quickly.

We live in a world where we worship pleasure and entertainment. We are forever on the quest for what feels good, what we want to do, and what is fun for us. Enjoying life isn’t wrong. God loves a joyful spirit, but when our focus rests predominately on orienting our worlds around what we want, then we know we are out of line with the will of God.

Fasting reorients our will with God’s will.

“Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If anyone wants to follow after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me.” Matthew 16:24

A follower of Jesus is instructed to deny himself before bearing the cross. We can’t pick up a cross while carrying our self-pleasing, flesh-serving desires. There is a proper order of operations. Deny first, pick up second.

To deny yourself is to humble yourself. To realize you don’t sit on the throne of your own life. To choose to put yourself behind your desires for the pursuit of pleasure and entertainment.

Only then, in this state of humility, can we possibly receive the strength to pick up the cross of Christ and follow Him. The cross is a symbol of sacrifice over selfishness. It’s a sign of humility over pride. It’s a sign of service of meism.

To pick up the cross is the ultimate act of humility. When we fast, we are laying down our pride and choosing a posture of humility. It’s a choice to deny ourselves of what we want.

My first fast was a 24 hour food fast. The closeness I experienced with the Lord, the mental clarity I received, and the restful soul I embraced caused me to extend my food fast another 24 hours. The Lord gave me a dream that night. I remember realizing how much I’d missed out on all the years I chose to disregard the gift of fasting.

I tried writing a list for you of the benefits of fasting. It was too long and I deleted the entire list. I decided I want you to discover the benefits for yourself. Each fast reveals a new reason to set regular seasons of fasting.

Instead of giving you all the reasons I find fasting of great value, I will share my top four.

4 Benefits of Fasting:

  1. Self-control. Choosing to go without something forces me to exercise self-control in an area I don’t normally. But what I’ve found with fasting is that like muscles that are exercised regularly, they strengthen with repetition. When I fast, I become more disciplined in all areas.
  2. Mental clarity. When I fast, I quickly realize how much I think about myself. All day long I’m thinking about what I want to enjoy, what I need to relax, what I want to do for fun. I would never have believed I thought about myself so much until I took things out of my life that took up mental space. When that mental space was cleared and I was released of the burden of thinking of myself so much, my thoughts became clearer. I began to think deeper rather than on the surface of my desires.
  3. Soul rest. Feeding our selfish desires is tiring. It wears a soul down more than we realize. It’s a beautiful gift to our soul to break from what we think we want and need. Inside a calmness settles in.
  4. Strength. We can do hard things. When we choose what is easy, we become weak people who can’t handle the bumps of life. Fasting is hard. Hard grows us stronger.

4 common types of fasts:

  1. Most obvious is food. This is also one of the hardest. When I fast from food, I enjoy a deeper, richer prayer life. I am face to face with my weakness all day long. When my stomach aches, I turn to God and pour my heart out to Him. It’s a beautiful way to connect with His tenderness and allow Him to actually be my bread of life and my living water.
  2. Social media. I do this a couple times a year. Each time I wonder why I don’t make it permanent.
  3. Alcohol. I just did an 8 week alcohol fast I plan to share about with you in more detail. If you are a christian who drinks alcohol, I think this one is an absolute must.
  4. Sugar. Incredibly hard if you have a sweet tooth, but so rewarding.

Challenge:

  1. Choose a type of fast. Be sure it’s not an easy one. Don’t fast from chocolate unless you are eating it A LOT! Choose something that is hard. It’s worth it.
  2. Choose a period of time. 24 hours, 7 days, 1 month.
  3. Set start and end date.
  4. Tell your spouse or an accountability partner so they can pray for you during your time of fasting.
  5. Dedicate your fast to the Lord. Pray without ceasing. Be open to what God reveals to you.

Why We Should Stop Rescuing Our Kids & Let Them Fail Instead

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A Good Parent Won’t Parent Like the Majority

What if good parenting isn’t exactly what we think it is?

What if good parenting means:

  • we step back and let our kids make choices we know aren’t the very best for them?
  • we see potential failure ahead and we allow room to fall without swooping in for the rescue?
  • we don’t race ahead of our kids and remove each stone from their path so they never stub their toes?
  • we don’t clean up their messes, rather we hug and love them through the cleanup phase?

What does good parenting look like today? There is a term I despise: “adulting.” I’d like to eliminate its usage forever. I’d love to see our generation of kids transition from kids to adults little by little without this chasm of kid today, adult tomorrow.

I believe how we parent in the arena of failure can help us raise adults who understand being an adult is a privilege and a gift rather than a curse of “adulting.”

Childish Choices

I’m the mom who let her first grader forget his lunch at home and didn’t race back to the school to bring him one. I received a phone call from the teacher to see if I’d like to bring him lunch. We lived 30 minutes from the school. I’d already been in the car an hour. That would be another hour. Then another for pickup. He wouldn’t starve. He had begun developing a habit of forgetting, and food was important to this kiddo. He survived the day and never forgot his lunch again. To this day he does an incredible job of remembering his responsibilities.

I’m the mom who let her 3rd grader leave the house without a coat when it was 35 degrees because he insisted he wasn’t cold and he didn’t need one. I received a call from the teacher that he wouldn’t be allowed to play outside without a coat, and I gave my permission for him to be cold. He knows how to grab a coat with his backpack. This wasn’t a forgetfulness or a failure. He simply made a choice and was happy to live with the consequences of being cold. I decided I would be ok with that.

As our children are growing, they will make many childish decisions. This is normal and more than ok. When we allow them to make a wrong choice, we help them learn how to make better choices in the future.

When we jump in and tell them how to choose or what to do, we are sending a message that they are incapable of making good choices. We also send a message of fearing failure. By not allowing them to fail, we tell them failure is bad and should never happen, which can lead them in the future to fear making wrong choices to the point they always need others to help them.

Permission to Fail

My first boss would tell me in each review the area of growth to focus on was my decision making. I was so terrified of messing up that I would simply not make a decision and would go to others to find the answers. He told me he’d rather me make a wrong decision than become stuck in indecision. It was so freeing to know I had permission to mess up.

Likewise, we can tell our kids they have permission to fail. Free them up to fall and know that we will be there to help them back to their feet. Failure is often the best teacher.

Failure should not be something our kids fear. Instead it should be something they learn to learn from. Failure is normal and they should understand it is part of being a human.

We tell our kids over and over that we expect them to fail, to make poor choices, to mess up because they are human and are not perfect. We explain our hope for them is to learn to make good choices and learn to take advice in the process. A teachable spirit is of great value.

Now, this doesn’t mean we give children the ability to make decisions that we know could/will bring danger, harm, or life-altering circumstances. They can’t choose to not wear a seatbelt. They shouldn’t choose to become a boy when God created them a girl. They can’t choose to run in the street or with scissors. I’m simply referencing the simple choices that would only bring discomfort without changing their life.

Stubborn Choices

Recently, I was the mom who let her son go to a pool party with no sunblock because he insisted he didn’t need any. This child rarely needs sunblock because he spends a great deal of time outdoors. I tried to warn him that swimming with a shirt off would invite a stinging burn. He was adamant. I made a decision to back off and let the natural consequence become his teacher.

He came home in pain. In fact, so much pain that he was unable to go to baseball practice or play golf with his dad and brothers the next evening. Initially, he refused to admit I had been right in instructing him to wear sunblock on skin that never sees the sun. But as the pain wore on throughout the day, his pride lost its footing and he admitted he should have taken my advice.

The last thing I wanted was an “I told you so” experience. But sometimes it’s the only way for a person to truly learn what is best for them. I explained that I only want the very best for him so when I give advice or loving instruction, it is just that…..loving and kind. It’s never meant to keep him from fun. It’s nearly always for his protection and good. Because of my age and experience with painful burns, I can see what he is unable to see.

I am reminded how God in His loving protection of us desires only our good. He instructs us with guidelines to follow in order to keep us safe and well. He sees what is impossible for us to see. When He warns us to stay away from something, it’s not to prohibit fun and enjoyment, it’s to keep us safe and well. But how often do we put our hands up to Him telling Him we know what is best and go our own way?

“So I gave them over to their stubborn hearts to follow their own plans.” Psalm 81:12

Natural Consequences

Natural consequences are the very best teachers.

  • They come with zero nagging.
  • The lessons stick for a lifetime.
  • It protects the relationship.
  • It opens the doorway to meaningful conversations.
  • It removes emotionalism.
  • They learn to make their own choices and deal with the consequences.

No good and loving parent enjoys watching their child suffer. However, suffering is a part of life. Often suffering comes at the hands of our own choices and decisions.

What prevents parents from allowing kids to fail?

Many parents in our current parenting culture refuse to allow their kids to fail for many reasons.

  • Sometimes it’s out of our own pride we won’t let them fail. What will other parents think of us?
  • Sometimes it’s out of our deep love and compassion. We simply can’t bear watching them hurt.
  • Sometimes it’s out of our own busyness. We don’t have the time to deal with the fallout.
  • Sometimes it is out of passivity or laziness. We don’t want to take the time to deal with the mess left from their failures.

Regardless what the reasons are, it is for the good of our children to allow them to fail, to suffer, and to experience the consequences of their actions and choices without swooping in and saving them. It is part of our civic duty to raise responsible adults. And it is part of our God-given role to love them through their entire journey.

 

For more on the power of failure, read Dear Son, Why I Want You To Fail and Dear Boys, Why I Can’t Rescue You From Your Problems

Also, in case you missed my announcement, I’m closing my shop! All items on clearance while supplies last. Shop now and stock up for later when they are gone for good! Shop here.

 

 

Closing My Shop

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I shared on social media this message:

Friends, I’m prayerfully closing my Etsy shop. One thing I’ve come to learn and trust about God is that He guides us into good places and withholds no good thing from us. I’ve learned to hold loosely to my dreams and passions and allow God to steer me along this journey of life.
I began creating scripture pillowcases when I saw my own children leaning on God’s Word in physical ways in their little years. Sleeping on Bibles, posting scripture cards around their beds and rooms. I wanted to create a way to literally rest on the Word of God. I wanted to provide tools to help others focus on God’s Word before the world with the first and last of their day.
It’s hard to remain in business as a small business. Costs continue to rise and consumers can only pay so much for gift items. At the same time, the Lord has opened new adventures for me in this season. I’ve said it before, but if we look at life through seasons, it changes how we see the big picture. I’m grateful for the season of owning and running an online gift shop. It was a small childhood dream the Lord allowed me to experience. And I’m so grateful.
All items are clearanced while supplies last. Stock up and kindly share
?
. I’m so grateful for you
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.
You can shop at this link:

 

Eternally Wanderlusting – Planning the trip of your life.

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For nine months I planned the trip of a lifetime. A road trip west through Utah, Idaho, and Montana. The pinnacle destination being Glacier National Park. I ordered a travel book and read it cover to cover. I didn’t just read the book, I studied it.

I wanted to understand the regions of the park, I wanted to understand the lingo used in Facebook groups, which by the way are an amazing source of information.  I wanted to be sure we saw everything we could possibly see. My biggest fear in planning this trip- arriving home to hear, “Oh you didn’t visit the double dip star trail? What a shame! It was by far the most beautiful scenery of the park.” Can you imagine!

I had to be sure we were prepared to experience everything Glacier had to wow us with. In my mind, this would be our one shot. We may never have this opportunity again. Therefore, I would be sure to plan it to perfection.

Research was my first stage. By research I mean reading my travel book and scouring the internet for hours a day. I read travel blogs, joined Facebook groups and stalked the posts, and planned and dreamed away. There was a span of a few weeks my children became concerned with my obsession. I rarely sit during the day. But here I was sitting hours a day for weeks researching this trip to death.

I dove so deep into my imaginings of this vacation that it dominated 90% of my waking thoughts. In the evenings, I’d attempt to share my newly discovered insights of the day with my family and would find them glassy eyed within minutes. We weren’t speaking the same language because they weren’t studying and eating and breathing all things Montana.

Once I’d completed my reading, the planning began. We stayed in four different locations, I planned multiple excursions. I memorized trail maps and plotted out which trails we’d hike on which days. I planned where we would eat for each meal. It was the most planned out adventure I’d ever undertaken.

It consumed me. Day and night I dreamed all things Glacier. And then a day came where a thought slipped right into my mind. That kind of thought that comes with such speed, it stops you in your tracks.

The whisper I heard said, “What if you planned for eternity the way you are planning for this trip.”

I was in the middle of making my bed when this thought whisper interrupted my morning routine. I stood up and simply froze for a moment. What if.

The thought whispered on repeat all day. What if you planned for eternity the way you planned for this trip.

This life is temporary. We forget so easily as we try to build our best life now. But the best is not now. We are living in the middle of the story. We are living in brokenness, hurt, anger, fear, and sin upon sin even while experiencing tastes of goodness and glimpses of heaven on earth. It’s fleeting. We must remember this is not the final destination.

I wrote this post 7 years ago titled Sometimes We Don’t Outgrow Homesickness. I think sometimes we live with a low grade homesickness that we attempt to assuage by focusing on creating our dream life now. However, we were created not for this world, but for the one to come. We are only passing through, and our job is to glorify God in how we sojourn.

“Even when I’m home with my husband and my boys, there is this subtle aching. This little voice that whispers to me about home. My true home.

It’s so easy for me to get caught up in life. Daily life. This family right here in front of me. We build our home, we build up our kids, we build our marriage, we build our 401K, we build our future.

More exciting than all that we build is what is being built for us. The home we will spend eternity in.

Investing in this earthly home is important. It’s necessary. Much of what we invest in here, is an investment towards our eternal home. Not a gaining of an eternal home, but a placing of our treasures into that home where we will spend forever.

Investing in my marriage, I’m placing my treasures into the home I’ll spend forever after death. Investing in the spiritual growth of my children, I’m placing treasures in the home I’ll spend forever after death. Investing in my 401K, it’s important, but it’ll burn. It’ll be eaten away and devoured. It won’t make it into the treasury of my eternal home.” Excerpt from Sometimes We Don’t Outgrow Homesickness.

It’s one year later and God continues to remind me of the day He whispered to me the question that will direct me everyday going forward. What if I live my life as an eternal wanderluster rather than merely an earthly wanderluster? What if my love for travel was always to reveal to me there is a grander destination to plan for that my mind can’t even conceive. What if I studied and obsessed over eternity the way I do over my travel plans that come and go so quickly? What if.

Joy would overflow. Gratitude would pour forth. Hope would never wane. Grace would grow. Love would ignite. Anxiety would decrease.

“In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you?” John 14:2