The Lost Art of Fasting

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Fasting isn’t a popular topic. The moment the subject is broached you almost see people become physically uncomfortable. The conversation switches rather quickly.

We live in a world where we worship pleasure and entertainment. We are forever on the quest for what feels good, what we want to do, and what is fun for us. Enjoying life isn’t wrong. God loves a joyful spirit, but when our focus rests predominately on orienting our worlds around what we want, then we know we are out of line with the will of God.

Fasting reorients our will with God’s will.

“Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If anyone wants to follow after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me.” Matthew 16:24

A follower of Jesus is instructed to deny himself before bearing the cross. We can’t pick up a cross while carrying our self-pleasing, flesh-serving desires. There is a proper order of operations. Deny first, pick up second.

To deny yourself is to humble yourself. To realize you don’t sit on the throne of your own life. To choose to put yourself behind your desires for the pursuit of pleasure and entertainment.

Only then, in this state of humility, can we possibly receive the strength to pick up the cross of Christ and follow Him. The cross is a symbol of sacrifice over selfishness. It’s a sign of humility over pride. It’s a sign of service of meism.

To pick up the cross is the ultimate act of humility. When we fast, we are laying down our pride and choosing a posture of humility. It’s a choice to deny ourselves of what we want.

My first fast was a 24 hour food fast. The closeness I experienced with the Lord, the mental clarity I received, and the restful soul I embraced caused me to extend my food fast another 24 hours. The Lord gave me a dream that night. I remember realizing how much I’d missed out on all the years I chose to disregard the gift of fasting.

I tried writing a list for you of the benefits of fasting. It was too long and I deleted the entire list. I decided I want you to discover the benefits for yourself. Each fast reveals a new reason to set regular seasons of fasting.

Instead of giving you all the reasons I find fasting of great value, I will share my top four.

4 Benefits of Fasting:

  1. Self-control. Choosing to go without something forces me to exercise self-control in an area I don’t normally. But what I’ve found with fasting is that like muscles that are exercised regularly, they strengthen with repetition. When I fast, I become more disciplined in all areas.
  2. Mental clarity. When I fast, I quickly realize how much I think about myself. All day long I’m thinking about what I want to enjoy, what I need to relax, what I want to do for fun. I would never have believed I thought about myself so much until I took things out of my life that took up mental space. When that mental space was cleared and I was released of the burden of thinking of myself so much, my thoughts became clearer. I began to think deeper rather than on the surface of my desires.
  3. Soul rest. Feeding our selfish desires is tiring. It wears a soul down more than we realize. It’s a beautiful gift to our soul to break from what we think we want and need. Inside a calmness settles in.
  4. Strength. We can do hard things. When we choose what is easy, we become weak people who can’t handle the bumps of life. Fasting is hard. Hard grows us stronger.

4 common types of fasts:

  1. Most obvious is food. This is also one of the hardest. When I fast from food, I enjoy a deeper, richer prayer life. I am face to face with my weakness all day long. When my stomach aches, I turn to God and pour my heart out to Him. It’s a beautiful way to connect with His tenderness and allow Him to actually be my bread of life and my living water.
  2. Social media. I do this a couple times a year. Each time I wonder why I don’t make it permanent.
  3. Alcohol. I just did an 8 week alcohol fast I plan to share about with you in more detail. If you are a christian who drinks alcohol, I think this one is an absolute must.
  4. Sugar. Incredibly hard if you have a sweet tooth, but so rewarding.

Challenge:

  1. Choose a type of fast. Be sure it’s not an easy one. Don’t fast from chocolate unless you are eating it A LOT! Choose something that is hard. It’s worth it.
  2. Choose a period of time. 24 hours, 7 days, 1 month.
  3. Set start and end date.
  4. Tell your spouse or an accountability partner so they can pray for you during your time of fasting.
  5. Dedicate your fast to the Lord. Pray without ceasing. Be open to what God reveals to you.

Why We Should Stop Rescuing Our Kids & Let Them Fail Instead

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A Good Parent Won’t Parent Like the Majority

What if good parenting isn’t exactly what we think it is?

What if good parenting means:

  • we step back and let our kids make choices we know aren’t the very best for them?
  • we see potential failure ahead and we allow room to fall without swooping in for the rescue?
  • we don’t race ahead of our kids and remove each stone from their path so they never stub their toes?
  • we don’t clean up their messes, rather we hug and love them through the cleanup phase?

What does good parenting look like today? There is a term I despise: “adulting.” I’d like to eliminate its usage forever. I’d love to see our generation of kids transition from kids to adults little by little without this chasm of kid today, adult tomorrow.

I believe how we parent in the arena of failure can help us raise adults who understand being an adult is a privilege and a gift rather than a curse of “adulting.”

Childish Choices

I’m the mom who let her first grader forget his lunch at home and didn’t race back to the school to bring him one. I received a phone call from the teacher to see if I’d like to bring him lunch. We lived 30 minutes from the school. I’d already been in the car an hour. That would be another hour. Then another for pickup. He wouldn’t starve. He had begun developing a habit of forgetting, and food was important to this kiddo. He survived the day and never forgot his lunch again. To this day he does an incredible job of remembering his responsibilities.

I’m the mom who let her 3rd grader leave the house without a coat when it was 35 degrees because he insisted he wasn’t cold and he didn’t need one. I received a call from the teacher that he wouldn’t be allowed to play outside without a coat, and I gave my permission for him to be cold. He knows how to grab a coat with his backpack. This wasn’t a forgetfulness or a failure. He simply made a choice and was happy to live with the consequences of being cold. I decided I would be ok with that.

As our children are growing, they will make many childish decisions. This is normal and more than ok. When we allow them to make a wrong choice, we help them learn how to make better choices in the future.

When we jump in and tell them how to choose or what to do, we are sending a message that they are incapable of making good choices. We also send a message of fearing failure. By not allowing them to fail, we tell them failure is bad and should never happen, which can lead them in the future to fear making wrong choices to the point they always need others to help them.

Permission to Fail

My first boss would tell me in each review the area of growth to focus on was my decision making. I was so terrified of messing up that I would simply not make a decision and would go to others to find the answers. He told me he’d rather me make a wrong decision than become stuck in indecision. It was so freeing to know I had permission to mess up.

Likewise, we can tell our kids they have permission to fail. Free them up to fall and know that we will be there to help them back to their feet. Failure is often the best teacher.

Failure should not be something our kids fear. Instead it should be something they learn to learn from. Failure is normal and they should understand it is part of being a human.

We tell our kids over and over that we expect them to fail, to make poor choices, to mess up because they are human and are not perfect. We explain our hope for them is to learn to make good choices and learn to take advice in the process. A teachable spirit is of great value.

Now, this doesn’t mean we give children the ability to make decisions that we know could/will bring danger, harm, or life-altering circumstances. They can’t choose to not wear a seatbelt. They shouldn’t choose to become a boy when God created them a girl. They can’t choose to run in the street or with scissors. I’m simply referencing the simple choices that would only bring discomfort without changing their life.

Stubborn Choices

Recently, I was the mom who let her son go to a pool party with no sunblock because he insisted he didn’t need any. This child rarely needs sunblock because he spends a great deal of time outdoors. I tried to warn him that swimming with a shirt off would invite a stinging burn. He was adamant. I made a decision to back off and let the natural consequence become his teacher.

He came home in pain. In fact, so much pain that he was unable to go to baseball practice or play golf with his dad and brothers the next evening. Initially, he refused to admit I had been right in instructing him to wear sunblock on skin that never sees the sun. But as the pain wore on throughout the day, his pride lost its footing and he admitted he should have taken my advice.

The last thing I wanted was an “I told you so” experience. But sometimes it’s the only way for a person to truly learn what is best for them. I explained that I only want the very best for him so when I give advice or loving instruction, it is just that…..loving and kind. It’s never meant to keep him from fun. It’s nearly always for his protection and good. Because of my age and experience with painful burns, I can see what he is unable to see.

I am reminded how God in His loving protection of us desires only our good. He instructs us with guidelines to follow in order to keep us safe and well. He sees what is impossible for us to see. When He warns us to stay away from something, it’s not to prohibit fun and enjoyment, it’s to keep us safe and well. But how often do we put our hands up to Him telling Him we know what is best and go our own way?

“So I gave them over to their stubborn hearts to follow their own plans.” Psalm 81:12

Natural Consequences

Natural consequences are the very best teachers.

  • They come with zero nagging.
  • The lessons stick for a lifetime.
  • It protects the relationship.
  • It opens the doorway to meaningful conversations.
  • It removes emotionalism.
  • They learn to make their own choices and deal with the consequences.

No good and loving parent enjoys watching their child suffer. However, suffering is a part of life. Often suffering comes at the hands of our own choices and decisions.

What prevents parents from allowing kids to fail?

Many parents in our current parenting culture refuse to allow their kids to fail for many reasons.

  • Sometimes it’s out of our own pride we won’t let them fail. What will other parents think of us?
  • Sometimes it’s out of our deep love and compassion. We simply can’t bear watching them hurt.
  • Sometimes it’s out of our own busyness. We don’t have the time to deal with the fallout.
  • Sometimes it is out of passivity or laziness. We don’t want to take the time to deal with the mess left from their failures.

Regardless what the reasons are, it is for the good of our children to allow them to fail, to suffer, and to experience the consequences of their actions and choices without swooping in and saving them. It is part of our civic duty to raise responsible adults. And it is part of our God-given role to love them through their entire journey.

 

For more on the power of failure, read Dear Son, Why I Want You To Fail and Dear Boys, Why I Can’t Rescue You From Your Problems

Also, in case you missed my announcement, I’m closing my shop! All items on clearance while supplies last. Shop now and stock up for later when they are gone for good! Shop here.

 

 

Closing My Shop

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I shared on social media this message:

Friends, I’m prayerfully closing my Etsy shop. One thing I’ve come to learn and trust about God is that He guides us into good places and withholds no good thing from us. I’ve learned to hold loosely to my dreams and passions and allow God to steer me along this journey of life.
I began creating scripture pillowcases when I saw my own children leaning on God’s Word in physical ways in their little years. Sleeping on Bibles, posting scripture cards around their beds and rooms. I wanted to create a way to literally rest on the Word of God. I wanted to provide tools to help others focus on God’s Word before the world with the first and last of their day.
It’s hard to remain in business as a small business. Costs continue to rise and consumers can only pay so much for gift items. At the same time, the Lord has opened new adventures for me in this season. I’ve said it before, but if we look at life through seasons, it changes how we see the big picture. I’m grateful for the season of owning and running an online gift shop. It was a small childhood dream the Lord allowed me to experience. And I’m so grateful.
All items are clearanced while supplies last. Stock up and kindly share
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. I’m so grateful for you
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You can shop at this link:

 

Eternally Wanderlusting – Planning the trip of your life.

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For nine months I planned the trip of a lifetime. A road trip west through Utah, Idaho, and Montana. The pinnacle destination being Glacier National Park. I ordered a travel book and read it cover to cover. I didn’t just read the book, I studied it.

I wanted to understand the regions of the park, I wanted to understand the lingo used in Facebook groups, which by the way are an amazing source of information.  I wanted to be sure we saw everything we could possibly see. My biggest fear in planning this trip- arriving home to hear, “Oh you didn’t visit the double dip star trail? What a shame! It was by far the most beautiful scenery of the park.” Can you imagine!

I had to be sure we were prepared to experience everything Glacier had to wow us with. In my mind, this would be our one shot. We may never have this opportunity again. Therefore, I would be sure to plan it to perfection.

Research was my first stage. By research I mean reading my travel book and scouring the internet for hours a day. I read travel blogs, joined Facebook groups and stalked the posts, and planned and dreamed away. There was a span of a few weeks my children became concerned with my obsession. I rarely sit during the day. But here I was sitting hours a day for weeks researching this trip to death.

I dove so deep into my imaginings of this vacation that it dominated 90% of my waking thoughts. In the evenings, I’d attempt to share my newly discovered insights of the day with my family and would find them glassy eyed within minutes. We weren’t speaking the same language because they weren’t studying and eating and breathing all things Montana.

Once I’d completed my reading, the planning began. We stayed in four different locations, I planned multiple excursions. I memorized trail maps and plotted out which trails we’d hike on which days. I planned where we would eat for each meal. It was the most planned out adventure I’d ever undertaken.

It consumed me. Day and night I dreamed all things Glacier. And then a day came where a thought slipped right into my mind. That kind of thought that comes with such speed, it stops you in your tracks.

The whisper I heard said, “What if you planned for eternity the way you are planning for this trip.”

I was in the middle of making my bed when this thought whisper interrupted my morning routine. I stood up and simply froze for a moment. What if.

The thought whispered on repeat all day. What if you planned for eternity the way you planned for this trip.

This life is temporary. We forget so easily as we try to build our best life now. But the best is not now. We are living in the middle of the story. We are living in brokenness, hurt, anger, fear, and sin upon sin even while experiencing tastes of goodness and glimpses of heaven on earth. It’s fleeting. We must remember this is not the final destination.

I wrote this post 7 years ago titled Sometimes We Don’t Outgrow Homesickness. I think sometimes we live with a low grade homesickness that we attempt to assuage by focusing on creating our dream life now. However, we were created not for this world, but for the one to come. We are only passing through, and our job is to glorify God in how we sojourn.

“Even when I’m home with my husband and my boys, there is this subtle aching. This little voice that whispers to me about home. My true home.

It’s so easy for me to get caught up in life. Daily life. This family right here in front of me. We build our home, we build up our kids, we build our marriage, we build our 401K, we build our future.

More exciting than all that we build is what is being built for us. The home we will spend eternity in.

Investing in this earthly home is important. It’s necessary. Much of what we invest in here, is an investment towards our eternal home. Not a gaining of an eternal home, but a placing of our treasures into that home where we will spend forever.

Investing in my marriage, I’m placing my treasures into the home I’ll spend forever after death. Investing in the spiritual growth of my children, I’m placing treasures in the home I’ll spend forever after death. Investing in my 401K, it’s important, but it’ll burn. It’ll be eaten away and devoured. It won’t make it into the treasury of my eternal home.” Excerpt from Sometimes We Don’t Outgrow Homesickness.

It’s one year later and God continues to remind me of the day He whispered to me the question that will direct me everyday going forward. What if I live my life as an eternal wanderluster rather than merely an earthly wanderluster? What if my love for travel was always to reveal to me there is a grander destination to plan for that my mind can’t even conceive. What if I studied and obsessed over eternity the way I do over my travel plans that come and go so quickly? What if.

Joy would overflow. Gratitude would pour forth. Hope would never wane. Grace would grow. Love would ignite. Anxiety would decrease.

“In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you?” John 14:2

 

The End of a Season Means the Beginning of Another

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Six years ago I wrote a post titled The Tension Between the Beginning of the End and the Beginning of the Beginning. At that point we were saying goodbye to six years of private full time classical school to embark on a homeschool journey. We didn’t know if the journey would last one year or six more. Turns out, we homeschooled through graduation with our oldest. Our middle son will graduate in two short years from our homeschool.

We are again at the beginning of an end and the beginning of a beginning.

I believe it’s fairly typical to look back on an experience and realize the worry and fretting were useless. That is my experience at least. I have falsely led myself to believe that enough worry on the front end can lead me to preventing failure and regret. It’s a lie.

What worry really does is steal the joy of the journey. It clouds our vision from seeing the magnitude of an awesome God at work in the details of our days. It significantly limits my ability to trust God by turning my trust toward myself and my worry. It takes my mustard seed of faith and crushes it to nothing.

My one regret through homeschooling….allowing worry and fear to have any voice. I wish I’d rested more. I wish I’d trusted God more. But! I’m thankful for the opportunity to choose differently today.

Jacob finished his last day of high school in February. Between February and May, when we’ve celebrated his graduation officially, I’ve had quite some time to reflect. Initially, I played the what-if game. What if we’d chosen a different path? Did we choose the right path?

In the Lord’s patience with me, He allows me to wander about my thoughts, wrestling them down until I come to a clear place of understanding. I thought back to a podcast I heard on Focus on the Family years ago where a pastor talked about how we can know which path to take. He said often we pray and ask God for His will regarding which job to take, which house to buy, which school to choose, etc. But often our choices are equally in line with God’s will, so He gives us the choice and what He cares most about is who we become in Him as we walk that path. Hearing that opened up my understanding to the goodness of God and the beauty of this life. It also allowed me to feel free.

Our life path is filled with opportunity. Most importantly, we are to simply abide. As we abide, He will grow us wherever we are.

When Jacob was in sixth grade, he encountered some unexplained health issues. The doctors had no real answers, but felt reducing as much stress as possible would be crucial in his body healing. Interestingly, that is one of the very things God used to confirm our homeschool path. I sought a friend’s advice as we prayed through our next steps. I remember saying to her how life is filled with extreme stress and removing it may not be the best for our kids. Her response I’ll never forget. “Yes, but limiting it in middle school may be what God uses to prepare him for what he will carry in his future.” In other words removing school anxiety isn’t setting them up for life failure.

On this side of the path, I’m speechless at all God has done. Jacob is an incredible human being. I’m highly biased and feel incredibly blessed by all three of our children. Jacob is so highly motivated and driven. He is wise. He is discerning.

After Jacob’s graduation party, God took me back through the years and all I could do was cry. I’m so incredibly grateful we homeschooled. I’m so thankful I didn’t let fear push me down an alternate path (and it nearly did every single year).

So here we are. Jacob is working full time gaining incredible experience in the business world. He has plans in the future with real estate investing and financial trading.

I posted this on Instagram the day before his graduation party:

“Last week God gave me a verse for Jacob. Today, the eve of the day we celebrate his graduation, I’m sitting on the sofa and My Utmost for His Highest is centered around the very verse God showed me for Jacob last week.

“Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” Matthew 6:33

This is my prayer for Jacob who is already walking in his future having jumped into the full time workforce in February. He is so highly motivated, so driven, such incredible grit and work ethic.

Of all things to pursue in this life, pursue God with everything you have. Seek His Kingdom. It’s the ONLY thing that matters. The true picture of success is the one who is so firmly rooted in who God says they are that they can abide in Him, seek Him, and watch the Kingdom grow.

The world tells graduates to go do great things and change the world and chase your dreams and live your best life. God says, Seek Him. Everything else will take care of itself.”

Are you facing the end of a current season? Sometimes the end of a season sneaks up on us, but what I hope to remember is that a new season is ready to dawn. God is doing a new thing. Do you see it? Do you believe it?

When God delivered rebellious Israel, He said to them in Isaiah 43:19 “Look, I am about to do something new, even now it is coming. Do you not see it? Indeed, I will make a way in the wilderness, rivers in the desert.”

God is a Creator, He is in the business of doing something new. As we journey through our seasons, we can trust that God is at work, always ready to do something new. Lord, give us eyes to see you!

Do you have a graduate in your life? Send them into the world with what they really need. God’s Word.

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The best inheritance

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You hear stories of a loved one passing away, the will being read, disgruntled relatives fighting over inheritance expectations and rights. It destroys relationships. We are so self-focused we believe we are “owed” something in this life. We spend our earthly lives building our kingdom here.

Contrast this with God’s words to the Levitical priests in Deuteronomy 18:2 “They shall have no inheritance among their brothers; the Lord is their inheritance, as he promised them.”

What a striking verse.

The greatest gift, blessing, or inheritance is the very presence of God, His absolute nearness. The Levitical priests spent their time serving in the presence of God. They experienced what others didn’t. That blessing would never compare to an earthly gift or inheritance.

Do I believe that? Deep down in my soul? You see it’s easy to say I do, but do I REALLY? I want to. And desire is the first step towards the shift.

“…As He promised.” His promise we can take to the bank. It’s guaranteed. He is also our inheritance. Because of Jesus, we have a priest in Jesus. We have direct access to the throne room of God. We can experience His nearness daily. Do we believe it? Is He enough? Am I satisfied with Him alone so that I live being owed nothing by the world?

The words portion and inheritance are often used interchangeably. This is my prayer from Lamentations 3:24 and Psalm 73:26 today: Lord you are my portion. Therefore, I will hope in you. My flesh and my heart may fail but you, God, are the strength of my heart and my portion forever. May you truly be my portion. Amen.

The Blessed Warning

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We stopped at the guard shack before starting our Arizona hike. The kind couple working the gate was a wealth of knowledge. Their love for their jobs was apparent in how careful they were to inform us of all the interesting wildlife and vegetation we should expect to encounter.

As the sweet lady completed highlighting our route, she handed the map over to me. She warned, “Oh, I must warn you. There is one thing you must not touch or even get close to. It’s called a Teddy Bear Cactus. It looks like something soft and cuddly, like a teddy bear you’d want to grab and hug, but it’s not what it seems.”

The warning didn’t stop there. She told us that a teddy bear cactus could actually leap toward us if we moved too close to it. My mind was spinning trying to envision this man-eating cactus that might attempt to chase me up the path. Apparently, this type of cactus has stems that disconnect quite easily. The spines have barbs that burrow into the muscle fiber and make it painfully difficult to remove. Needless to say, we spent our hike looking more closely for a loose teddy bear cactus stem than we did watching for rattlesnakes.

I’m grateful for the warning about the cactus and even more grateful for the warnings we find in scripture: “Meanwhile, when a crowd of many thousands had gathered, so that they were trampling on one another, Jesus began to speak first to his disciples, saying: ‘Be on your guard against the yeast of the Pharisees, which is hypocrisy.  There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. What you have said in the dark will be heard in the daylight, and what you have whispered in the ear in the inner rooms will be proclaimed from the roofs’” (Luke 12:1-3).

The danger of hypocrisy is how it can lead people astray. It can fool and blind those who are unable to discern. The teddy bear cactus appears to be soft and cuddly, but in reality, it is harmful to us. The Pharisees Jesus warned about were guilty of hypocrisy, and in His kindness, Jesus warned His followers.

Warnings found throughout scripture are there to guide and protect us. They are filled with God’s love, mercy, kindness, compassion, and blessing. Sometimes we hear warnings and choose to ignore them. Sometimes we disbelieve there’s true danger. But when we believe we are hearing a warning from God, we can focus on His nature and character. He loves and cares for us. He desires us to follow truth and not find ourselves at the hands of deception or a prickly, barbed cactus.

In order to strengthen our discernment muscles we can do two things: pray and read the Bible regularly. God delights in answering our requests to become greater discerners in a culture filled with competing ideas to Biblical truth. The more time we spend soaking in God’s Word, the more equipped we are to spot hypocrisy when it presents itself to us. We must be on our guard as Jesus warned us.

As I reflected back to our hike among the prickly teddy bear cacti, I found myself overwhelmed with gratitude for God’s faithful warning and protection. He kept me safe from a plant that appeared soft and cuddly but in reality would pierce my skin and cause severe pain.  His heart is to keep us on the safe path. His “word is a lamp for our feet, a light on our path” (Psalm 119:105). On His safe path, we can trust that little by little we will see growth.

This devotion was first published on Rooted Moms Ministries. I’m on the RM Writer’s Team and have been so blessed by the ministry. Check out their website and see how it feeds your soul too!
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