A Letter To My Son – When Life is Tough

“Hey, Mom, can we talk?”

“Hey, Mom, I have to talk to you about some stuff.”

“Hey, Mom, wanna chat tonight?”

I hear this daily from one of my children.  I have another child who just talks when he needs to talk.  But one feels the need to let me know he needs my attention.  He invites me in.  And I want to be sure to make the experience one in which he feels safe enough to invite me back again.

What I’ve discovered with boys is they don’t like questions.  They want to talk when they want to talk.  And they don’t want to be interrogated.  Nothing stops the conversation faster than when I begin asking questions.  The quieter I am, the more they talk.  When I am simply there with them, quiet and available, they open up.  When I begin interjecting and quizzing, they clam up.

The best way I know how to share my heart back with them is to write.  The only way I know to fill their hearts is to pray.

My Sweet Boy,

You are only 8 (soon to be 9), yet your understanding of people and life at times ages you far beyond your young years.  

Your life is a collection of seasons.  Without the harshness of winter, would you appreciate the spring?  Without the heat of summer, would you appreciate the cool of fall?    

You will experience seasons of life full of joy and ease.  And you will face seasons just the opposite.  If all the seasons looked the same, how you would grow into the person God is molding you to be?  If all the seasons looked the same, how would you discover new things about God and about yourself?

You are in a season of great change right now.  I know you are frustrated right now, and at every turn, you are facing a challenge that seems too tough.  But that is what develops great character.  The people I most respect are the ones who had to fight through tough circumstances, overcome challenges, and dig deep.  

If everything was easy all the time, we might forget our need for God.  And He loves us too much to allow that to happen.  

Today’s challenge may be math and grammar or making a sporting switch and learning a new game.  Tomorrow’s challenge may look completely different.  No matter what the challenge is, if it’s important to you, it’s important to me.  And it’s ALL important to God.

Your grades don’t make you who you are.  Your athletic ability doesn’t make you who you are.  It’s your heart that makes you who you are.  The depth of your heart where you allow God to do amazing things.  That is what makes you who you are.  Your acceptance is not based on your performance.  Know who you are in Christ.

Enjoy the ride.  Don’t fight it.  Enjoy learning new skills.  Be excited to look back and see how far you’ve come.  Look forward to the feeling of satisfaction that comes from hard work and perseverance.  

Everything worth having takes time, effort, and patience. 

God has a great plan in store for you.  Give thanks in all circumstances.  Focus on what you are grateful for, not what you are frustrated by.  

Work hard, don’t quit, don’t give up.  Pray.  Ask God for your every need.  And give Him all the glory.  Remember this life is not all about us.  It’s all about Him.

You are loved.

Love always,


3 replies
  1. Jeni Twenty (@jeni25)
    Jeni Twenty (@jeni25) says:

    So perfect! Just before I read this, I had written a letter to my son who is away at college. Now he’s grown & what I would give for the, “Hey, Mom, can we talk?” days. They pass before you realize & there are so many things left to hear & say. It is not impossible, but not as easy as when the major influence was family.

    Great to open & keep the door open from young days to grown days.

    Thanks for your touching post.

  2. Renee Robinson
    Renee Robinson says:

    I can imagine it must be harder when they are in college when you feel there is so much to say. Like you said, the major influence isn’t family at that point. Your comment is a great encouragement to keep the communication open early to foster communication in the later years. Thanks for reading and commenting!

  3. Rhoda Goshi
    Rhoda Goshi says:

    Thank you so much for this God inspired thoughts. You have expressed the pains that have deeply inflicted me as observe the very short attention span among my students and the dwindling communication skills of our y0ung. people. this seems to threaten relationships

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