A Letter to My Sons: The Value of a Grandparent

Dear Boys,

You have something unique.  It’s a treasure.  I think you know it, but really you won’t fully understand until you are a parent yourself.  You see you have grandparents.  Engaged, involved, loving, and compassionate grandparents.  You have grandparents who talk to you. Who play with you.  Who know you.  Who love you for one simple reason….for being you, simply you.

Sometimes I wonder if you take it for granted or if you really know the value of the treasure you hold.  But then I watch as a weekend visit comes to an end.  I see the tear-stained cheeks that tell the story of your reminiscent thoughts.  I hear you say you can’t bear to say goodbye even though you know another visit will be around the corner.  I see your eyes, and I know you treasure it deep.

Here’s the thing.  To love hurts.  Deeply.  To deeply love will deeply hurt.  But it’s a beautiful hurt at times.  What you experienced last weekend is a beautiful hurt.  It is a hurt to thank God for.

When you are with any of your grandparents, it’s the same and it’s different.  Each of them brings something completely different to your life, for which you should be grateful.  How precious that God would give you grandparents so radically different from each other and allow you to glean from so many different types and styles of people that love you simply for being you.

The part you don’t realize yet, you will see one day.  Right now you see them being silly with you, playing games, reading you stories, tickling you til you cry, and holding you tight.  I get to see something else.  I get to see something planted into your heart that over time the Lord will use.

What makes a grandparent so unique and unexplainable?  I think it is the perspective they come from at this stage of their lives.  You see they aren’t going through our daily routines anymore. But they’ve been there.  They aren’t juggling the schedules of multiple little lives.  But they’ve done it before.  They aren’t sleep deprived and exhausted from caring for little ones.  But they know that feeling all too well.

They aren’t over-analyzing each decision they make wondering how it impacts a little life in the future.  But they have, and they’ve come on the other side of it.  They aren’t fighting daily battles of the will.  But they have.  And now they can loosen up because they’ve seen what is worth it and what isn’t.

They have been where I am, they have experienced what I have experienced, and they have something to offer.  But for you, it’s really something quite unique.  You get to experience the beauty of a relationship with someone who loves you unconditionally that sees things through a unique lens.  A lens of experience and generations of love.  Because of their age and their experiences, they have gained wisdom which can be shared into your hearts.

Enjoy every single second you have with any of your grandparents.  Love each one as unconditionally as they love you. Cherish the unique way God has created each of them.  Just as they cherish the ways the Lord has made you.

I wish that I had been able to do what I am asking you to do.  To soak in every second you have with a generation that has so much to offer to you.  They are a gift from God to you. Always treat them with dignity and respect.  Even as you get older and begin to believe you know better or they (or we) don’t understand.  They do.  They were once your age….and they raised children once your age.  They’ve been there many times, and because of that, they are able to offer more than you can offer yourself.

Always remember that what you are feeling in your heart, this wrenching squeeze, they feel it harder.  Those tears you wish would stop, they shed more.  Remember that as much as you tell me you love them, it doesn’t come close to comparing to how much they love you.  Hard to imagine, right?  It’s true.  I remember believing it was impossible to love anyone as much as I loved my parents when I was a kid.  Then I had you boys.  That kind of love, the love of a parent for a child….well, I can’t explain it.  But I know that feeling. So I imagine the love of a grandparent is similar.  I imagine it’s a love that I believe I can imagine, but until I’ve experienced it, I can’t truly imagine it.  So just take it from me, you have no idea how much they love you.

I will end with this verse from Proverbs 20:29 “The glory of young men is their strength, gray hair the splendor of the old.”

Cherish all these memories up in your heart.  They are part of what is becoming of your story. Relationship is one of the keys to a beautiful life.  Never take for granted the relationship with a grandparent.  It is unlike any other.  Special in its own special way.  Just like each of you.

Love,

Mom