Why Don’t We Pray More?

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Last week was amazing and crazy, full and empty, glorious and heartbreaking. No “big” event took place. In our family we are in a state of many points of indecision and pending choices. Waiting for God to direct us and light the path. So we wait.

The waiting can be excruciating.

Piece by piece, God would reveal something. Another piece of the puzzle.

God brought a woman into my life who prays fervently for me and my family. Can I just tell you that no one has ever given me a greater gift than that. I take that back. Jesus- my salvation- that was my greatest gift. But for God to draw someone’s heart in such a way that they fervently pray for you?

I know prayer is crucial in our walk with the Lord. I’ve read many books on prayer. Heard sermons on the topic. All the time, “I’ll pray for you.” Or “let’s just pray about it.”

My mentor is a living example of the enormous power of prayer, and I am asking myself, “Why in the world have I not utilized this power in bigger ways?”

Billy Graham once said one of his regrets is that he didn’t pray more. This is shocking because we know he was a praying man.

That is the thing with prayer. It’s an endless supply of God’s power. It’s a line of communication that never fails, never disconnects. As you taste it, you want more.

I told my husband last week that I’ve never in my life felt more in the center of God’s will. He paused. I paused. How to articulate that thought? Nothing has changed in our state of waiting on all fronts. The only thing that has changed with me is that I’m spending far more time in prayer than I have before. It’s that sitting with the Father, knowing He’s right there with me, hearing me, speaking to me. Then I move on and time after time, my jaw drops through the day as I see God over and over again.

It’s as if the more I pray, the more I see God. This seems so common sense. But we get busy, we race from here to there, we desire to serve and love, to share and give. And all these wonderful things, but sometimes we miss the very best thing. God in our ordinary. I am seeing the more I pray, the more I see God.

Do we want to see a miracle? Pray for God to open our eyes. God is performing miracles all the time.  He’s the same God who parted the Red Sea. He is still the God who healed the blind and made the lame walk. That same God resides in us and works through us.

Prayer is opening my eyes to see miracles masquerading as ordinarily normal. Prayer is changing my heart and my desires. Prayer is changing how I see relationships and people.

God has given us a gift of prayer. Access to Him around the clock. The more time we spend talking to Him, the more madly in love we fall. Nothing in this world can compare to that.

Prayer is the thing we often feel we don’t have time for. Yet, it’s the thing that fuels our ability to do life to the level we desire.

The boys are seeing a shift as well. I see it in their prayer life. I once heard a wise mom say, “We can’t lead our children in faith further than we ourselves have gone.” If I spend my time in prayer only blessing meals and saying bedtime prayers with them, how will they see the living God who is actively working in the cracks of the day?

Zachary jumped in the car after school one day and the tears were on the edge of spilling, “I just have so much homework. I’ll never get it all done.”

Initially, I responded, “I’m sure it’s not that much. You will get it all done.”

This didn’t help as he began to tell me how I didn’t understand.

“Well, let’s just pray.”

“Mom, please don’t close your eyes while you pray and drive.”

Smiling, I assured him I’d put safety first. We thanked God for our school and the loving people in our lives. We thanked Him for the beautiful day and the gift of a safe and loving home to do this work. Then we asked Him to increase Zachary’s productivity, give him clarity and organization of thought, order his time in such a way that he does an excellent job staying focused and giving it his all.

After getting home and settled, Zachary appeared in the kitchen wearing a new face. Radiating with excitement, he said, “It worked! I can’t believe it, but I’m done with everything.” Thirty seconds later I heard the steady dribble of the basketball on the driveway.

We had bigger issues to pray through. One in particular that will affect our entire family. We discussed it with the boys, who initially were not happy with the issue at hand. Much disagreement voiced around the table.

“Let’s begin to pray. I trust that God will direct our hearts and draw us into unity over this decision.”

Within days, trickle by trickle, I saw hearts changing, unity forming. Amazing. Only God. Only through prayer.

My tendency is to think of all I’ve missed in my christian walk by not praying more. But I am not going there. Instead I’m thanking God for His gentle hand lifting open the lids of my eyes to His glory and the gift of constant conversation with the Creator of my soul.

P.S. One of my favorite books on prayer is by Timothy Keller. Prayer – Experiencing Awe and Intimacy with God. Remember when I said last year, I finished few christian living, non-fiction books because they began to beat me over the head with the message and by mid-book, I’d gotten it. Not this book. I checked it out of the library and quickly realized I need to own it, mark it up, and read it again.

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My Proverbs 31 Friend – I want to be just like her

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Proverbs 31:26 “She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her lips.”

As newlyweds and brand new christians, Steve and I attended a young married Sunday school class. It was pivotal in our walk with the Lord.

The first time the girl across the room spoke, I felt an immediate conviction from the Holy Spirit. In my heart, I had already categorized her. Oh, my shallowness. She was strikingly beautiful, so well put together, that I put up heart walls because I was certain we would have nothing in common.

She spoke, and wisdom fell on those of us who had the privilege to be in that class. Each week I found myself hoping she would speak up. She spoke when needed, never over speaking or dominating the class. Always with wisdom. Always with faithful instruction.

Her faith was different. Deep. Mature. I wanted to be just like her. I wanted to one day love the Lord like that.

Her son was diagnosed with leukemia. I followed her caring bridge page. Each post I read through tears, and at the conclusion, I found myself saying, “I simply can’t imagine having a faith like that when faced with something like this.” I wanted a faith like hers. A faith that trusted in God no matter what nightmare I lived through. A faith that loved God boldly and clung to His promises. A faith that longed for His courts.

Our family moved states, her family moved states, we lost contact.

In 2011 our family moved to North Carolina. I googled “nearby churches offering summer Bible study”. Lake Norman Baptist Church was top on the list and childcare was free. I signed up. During class I heard someone say the name Tara Reeves. I thought to myself, “I know a Tara Reeves. It couldn’t be the same one.”

Our family ended up attending another church for a couple of years and in 2015, we found ourselves back at Lake Norman Baptist. I heard her name again. This time I went exploring to discover it was the same Tara Reeves. And she lived in my neighborhood. And we went to the same church. How like the Lord.

I’d always known Tara from afar. I admired her from a distance. I knew her faith was genuine and went to places mine had never been. But when I began to truly know her is when I discovered the depth of her beautiful soul.

When I became the women’s ministry leader at our church, Tara and I had coffee together. I wanted her to speak at our women’s retreat. I knew that our women would be blessed beyond blessed to sit under her teaching for 3 days.

I called Steve after mine and Tara’s coffee date and said, “She is one of the most real people I’ve ever known. She is so transparent. And she genuinely cares for people.”

Recently, I went to her youngest daughter’s birthday party. Again I left her presence deeply impressed. Not impressed by her beautiful home, but impressed with her TRUE gift of hospitality. You felt loved in her home. Deeply loved. And known.

Tara is a living example of the difference from being a good hostess and being hospitable. Anyone can be a hostess, but you have to really love people well to be hospitable.

Her home was one of the prettiest I’ve seen, but she couldn’t care less about the appearance of her home. She cared about the hearts in those walls. Toddlers and teens in and out, eating and drinking throughout. Not once did she bat an eye over dropped crumbs or spilled drinks. The birthday cake was full of green icing. All these little kids with icing fingers, and she never asked them to wipe their hands as they left the dining room. All you saw was that she loved having her home filled with the people she loves.

I want to be just like that.

The girl loves Jesus so big. And THAT. That is why she loves people so big. People over stuff.

She cares deeply for people. At the party she told a story about her teens wanting to give a few friends candy grams at school, and she had them send one to every student so no one would be left out. At the retreat, a large group of us were attempting to arm knit scarves. I messed up from the beginning and had a heap of yarn at my feet. We were all struggling to be crafty and when the instructor was helping people, Tara was concerned about me being left behind. She spoke up, “Can you help Renee? She needs help.” She said it twice. Truly concerned that no one feel left out. At the retreat, she did an experiment that took longer than she’d hoped. She let the clock tick away so that each person participated despite it cutting into her time to teach.

She loves well.

I want to be just like that.

I could go on, but I won’t. She will be deeply embarrassed by this post, but I needed you to know the heart behind her outer beauty. She is one of the most beautiful people inside that I’ve ever known.

She makes the enemy tremble. That is how great her faith is. How bold she is for Jesus. You will always know where she stands.

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She happens to also be the author of my 2 favorite children’s books. I’m giving one away tomorrow. But don’t wait for the giveaway. Order multiple copies today. Keep a stack in your closet. You will want to give one at every kid’s birthday party, Christmas, baptism, etc.

The Pirate and the Firefly : A boy, a bug, and a lesson in wisdom

The Knight and the Firefly: A boy, a bug, and a lesson in bravery

I only recommend what I love. If I didn’t know Tara, I would still be telling you to get these books for your kids and everyone you know. But I know her. And the heart behind these books.

People like this in our lives are the sweetest gifts from the Lord. She is a treasure, which I’m humbled by. The Lord is too good to me. He has filled my life with the most amazing hearts and souls.

I can only attempt to imagine the joy in Heaven surrounded by people like Tara the Lord has dropped into my life.

We all need people like this in our life. If we don’t have them, we pray for them. God will bring these people into your life. I promise He will do it. We have to be open and transparent to allow them in. If we are private and reserved, it’s hard to penetrate.

Tomorrow I’m giving away a copy of The Pirate and the Firefly. Giveaway will be a drawing at random. Share this post and tag me on social media. Like or comment on my Facebook page. Comment here. Subscribe to the blog. Blog subscribers are automatically entered to win.

Ends tomorrow at noon.

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Stepping off the crazy busy cycle and embracing a simpler life

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We are a fear-based culture. We fear if we don’t sign our kids up for music, karate, and baseball, they will be left behind the pack. That if we don’t get them in the best school in kindergarten, they are doomed for the rest of their life. That if we don’t find their sport of specialty by age 7, we can forget them getting a scholarship.

We follow the masses who follow this fear-based life that leads to crazy busy like we’ve never seen before.

Busy. We are too busy. We are exhausted. And what is the point of it all? Really?

Parents are worn down from centering their lives around their children, giving their children the best of experiences, education, and opportunities. This is exactly what the enemy hopes we will do. He hopes we feed on this enough and spread it to those in our circle of influence.

We run our kids to piano then to soccer, then to camp, then to a friend’s house. And that is just one kid. Times the number of kids, it’s no wonder marriages are struggling to connect and we have no time to serve.  It’s no wonder our kids feel entitled and the need to be entertained. We feel disconnected at home. When we are running from here to there, eventually we arrive at a place and wonder is it all worth it? What is the goal of the crazy busy madness?

It only intensifies as they move through the teenage years. Then they leave, and we are left to wonder if all the busy mattered. Was it worth it?

Did the busy shape their hearts? Did speaking two languages, while playing an instrument and becoming an incredible little league pitcher…did it make them strong in their inner being? Did it make them a person who can stand for truth in the pressure of culture? Did it make them compassionate and tender so they can be one who impacts a change in our world? Did it make them confident in who they are not what their abilities are? Abilities and talents come and go, but did the busy make them secure of who they are in the core of their soul?

Is the busy worth it?

I experienced something recently that opened my eyes to the enormity of a simpler, less busy life, an open schedule, and a great big giant God. I’m sharing this story not to brag on my kids. I can share a book of stories that would embarrass my children (and us), but I want to do neither. I want the focus of this story not on my kids. I want you to read this through the lens of a giant God and what He desires to do in our homes and why we might want to consider stepping off the crazy busy ride.

Margin must be created intentionally in this culture. Schedules must be left open on purpose in order to serve a greater purpose.

If we don’t create the margin on purpose, it will never exist. When we leave space in our lives, we can spontaneously host or accept last minute dinner guests or invites. We can say yes to a need that pops up around us. Time will always be filled one way or another. But when we leave time open on purpose, we allow God an opportunity to fill it with what is most important.

On Wednesday, I had a fairly wide open schedule. The schedule was open, yet the task list was full. I had plenty of work to do to fill every second of the day. I did something different that day. I prayed for God to highjack my time and to direct my every step. I should do this every day, but I don’t.

One day I can share the cool stories that happened, but for now let me say that my day ended up being hours of amazing miracles. It was like God was screaming, “This is how it could always be if you gave me your time all the time!”

Not only was the day open, but the night was open too. And God continued to direct the steps that would make up this day.

Our church holds a prayer meeting in the chapel for about 20 minutes every Wednesday night. It is typically the same dedicated people who show up week after week to pray over the needs of the church. On Wednesday I felt a prompting in my spirit to go. I voiced it to a friend who encouraged me to go with the boys. Steve was not going to be home that evening. I fully expected the boys to dread the idea of going to something at church that would not entertain them, where there would be no other kids, and would not be about them at all.

To my complete shock, the boys showed nothing but excitement. Even when I explained how it would work. We arrived to the quiet chapel. The boys took a seat in the pews. They opened Bibles and began reading. (This is the point I need to remind you please don’t focus on my boys here…focus on what God did through them and despite me)

Several kind souls introduced themselves, spoke to my boys, shook our hands, welcomed us, explained how the prayer meeting runs. The pastor arrived, I shared the requests on our hearts, which is what prompted us to attend. The pastor and others shared the needs they were aware of. The pastor asked everyone to bow their heads and pray silently.

While in silent prayer, I felt a little hand on my back begin to rub up and down. Then it found a way to my hand and held tight. I felt his little body adjust as the time increased in silent prayer. Then I heard his precious whispers, “Dear God, I pray for my daddy’s job. And God, I pray for Jacob’s math grades. And dear God, I pray for Zachary’s grades. And dear God, I pray for my baptism. And I pray for my mom.”

Talk about a full heart. Nothing in the world compares to feeling the presence of God and hearing a child’s heart poured out before Him.

The pastor closed us in prayer. We stopped in the prayer room to say hello to the sweet souls who would gather for the next hour to lift up these requests, and we left.

As we exited the building, one of my boys who complained of stomach pains on the way to church, said, “Mom, I feel so much better now. I feel physically better, but I feel spiritually better.”

“I know what you mean. Something about being in the presence of God just puts everything right.”

“Yes, mom! You could feel God’s presence there. It is so different than on church days. There was something so neat about there only being a few people there and it being quiet so we could just be with God.”

Another son spoke up, “Mom, this was awesome. Can we make this an every Wednesday night thing?”

Stunned again.

Then another son, “Yeah! This was so much fun!”

Then the first son, “What was so neat is that one of the ladies reminded the group to pray for our family. Mom, it was like she genuinely cared for us.”

That is church. That is REAL church. Not the programs and activities. Not the sermons and lessons. Not the people who fail and disappoint us. It’s the hearts that love Jesus so much that they genuinely care for others and love others enough to lift them to the Father.

The reminder again- I don’t need fancy programs to engage my kids for Christ. I don’t need to make it fun and energetic (though there is nothing wrong with that). They only need Jesus. They only need the presence of God. They only need Him. Something about the quiet allows us to experience Him in an intimate way.

Something about the freedom of a slow schedule allows us to interact with Him in sacred ways. This is what our culture is desperate for. We are desperate for Him, but we run ourselves ragged keeping pace with the world around us and we crowd Him out. Or we base our decisions on the interests of our kids- like I almost did. I almost didn’t attend for fear my kids wouldn’t be interested rather than attending regardless of if they wanted to or not. Praise God He prepared their hearts to desire to attend.

I hear it all the time. I see it all the time. We are busy, busy, busy. And the enemy loves it. We put on our busy badge with pride when what we need to do is stomp it to pieces and be proud that we have an open schedule. It doesn’t mean we aren’t important or unloved. It means we’ve chosen to leave space for the sacred moments. We’ve chosen to leave space for God to bring unexpected invitations and engagements our way.

God is all we need. It’s our culture that adds to Him. We live in a bigger is better, more is desirable world. He wants to give us more than we’ve ever desired. But we choose the lesser option. And we have no idea what we’ve done.

You see, God is a God of bigger is better too. Just not like we think. We’ve never imagined the bigger He has in store for us. Not bigger houses, nicer cars, fancier vacations. The bigger He has takes away all desires for the things of this world. The bigger He offers leaves us on a high like we’ve never experienced. The bigger He has sustains us, fills us.

If we want more than we’ve ever imagined, the first step is taking our family off the crazy busy ride with our culture. It’s to decide to leave margin in the schedule every day, every week, every month. It’s to be ok with nothing to do and to instead open our hands to God and cry out, “God fill this time with what you desire.”

You will not believe what He does with your time. He is the greatest gift Giver. Give Him your time and watch how He will change your heart, your children, your marriage, your home, your life.

Leave space so God can do in you and through you what will never be accomplished on the crazy busy cycle.

Psalm 115:4

May the Lord give you increase, you and your children!

 

The day I noticed my son becoming a man

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Dear Jacob,

I saw the man in you emerging this weekend. Little ways you wouldn’t see. Not the growth of facial hair, not a deeper voice or longer legs. Where I saw the man in you is what truly makes a man a man – in my opinion.

It’s rare to see a true gentleman these days. Maybe they are afraid of offending a woman who feels she doesn’t need a man. I’ve never felt that way. I’ve always been grateful for the chivalry of a man, the strength of a man who looks out for the women around him.

The last time I took a flight by myself, I struggled to get my baggage in the overhead. Men sat all around me. Not one stood up to help me. My initial thought went to your dad. He would never sit in his seat while a woman struggled with her bag. He would be out of his seat in nanoseconds taking the weight off her hands and coming to her aid. It’s one of the things I love about your dad that makes him a real man.

Your dad was stranded in Dallas while we found ourselves snowed in. This is when I saw the man in you really begin to emerge.

I saw what you were doing out of the corner of my eye. I saw you go to each door of the house. You checked the locks. You checked the deadbolts. Then you pulled the door to make double sure. You walked by the security system making sure it was armed.

A man protects. He looks out for the safety of those around him. He steps up to that role when the need arises. 

You didn’t think I noticed, but I did.

After 2 days of snow covering the car, you started the car for me to warm it. You came inside and went about what you were doing. After some time, I went outside to begin scraping the ice from the windshield. I had only begun when I heard you say, “Mom, I’ve got this. Let me have it.”

You gave it all you had. Scraping as best you could. I’m sorry I stood over your shoulder critiquing your work. In hindsight, I wish I had simply said thank you and walked away.

Instead, I told you to do it this way or that way. Be careful you don’t scratch the car. Watch out for that big block of ice. At one point you said, “Mom, I don’t really hear you.” I couldn’t help chuckle because how often have I stood over your dad offering him a better way to do something. I’m sure he tunes me out to stay focused on the task.

You are just beginning, and you haven’t gained your confidence yet. After one too many suggestions, you handed the scraper back to me for fear of failing in the job. For that, I’m truly sorry. I was wrong. My way isn’t always right. And even in that you showed the man in you emerging.

A real man is clothed in humility. He is humble and doesn’t allow pride to demand its way is the right way. The way you handled that situation allowed me to see how I was wrong. Had you defended yourself and argued me, I may have never realized what I’d done wrong. Thank you for letting your humility come before pride.

4 days snowed in with 3 boys was tough. The energy, the noise. I wouldn’t trade it for anything, but it can be a bit much to bear at times. You saw my tension. You tried your best to step in and help me without being asked. Taking on extra chores. Asking me what needed to get done. These are all signs of the man in you growing up. But there was something else.

At times you wanted to help, but you realized there was nothing you could do. You couldn’t stop the arguing of caged up boys. You couldn’t change the attitudes that seemed to be contagious. Some things you just can’t fix. But you did something better than fix my circumstances. You gave me hugs. Lots of hugs.

Each time you saw the stress on my face or heard the tension in my voice, you came and offered me a hug. “Mom, you need a hug.” And I did. And it was the very thing that made all things better right there in that moment.

A real man knows he can’t fix everything. And when he can’t fix it, he can do the next best thing. He can simply give a hug. Sometimes a hug is the thing that makes everything alright that can’t be fixed. A hug makes the unfixable tolerable, even beautiful.

A few things I believe make a man truly a man:

Humility

Honor

Integrity

Protector

Comforter

You are these and more. I am grateful for the gift of watching you begin the process of becoming a man. It’s the process that continues your entire life. Some men are 40 years old and still haven’t become real men. Age doesn’t determine manhood.

Keep your eyes on your Heavenly Father. He will show you all you need to know about how to become a real man.

With all my love,

Mom

 

 

 

The book you have to read

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We are a reading family. I love books. In fact, the shirt I sleep in most nights reads “I love books”. It’s really cool I promise.

I’m picky about what I read though. I’ll admit to judging a book by its cover. And if the book doesn’t grip me in the first chapter, I’ll likely toss it aside. I have no problem quitting a book midway through. Life is too short and books are too many to read boring stories.

When I love something I can’t help but tell everyone about it. If Zachary is with me when I get going he inevitably says, “Here she goes in commercial mode.”

I can’t do this for my own book, but I can do it for anything someone else wrote.

One of my 2016 goals is to read more books. In order to do this, I’m reading more out loud to my children. I rarely sit down to read for pleasure when they are awake. I reserve this for bed, but about 1 page in I feel the shades being drawn on my eyes. At that reading pace it takes months to finish a book.

2016 started out with me reading 2 family books aloud and 1 for myself.

I have to share with you my very favorite book at the moment.

At Christmas my friend stopped by, handed me this book with a big “Merry Christmas. Next to the Bible this book has impacted me more than any other book. And the whole family will love it.”

No better sales pitch could she give me. I was sold. And the book was free. Double win.

Now that I’ve read this book, I’d pay 3 times the retail price for it. I would give it to everyone I know. It’s simply that good. I do believe it is my all time favorite.

I read christian living books ALL. THE. TIME. This one is different. Really different.

The author isn’t lecturing to me. I don’t feel guilty and like I’ve messed up and need to change everything in my life immediately. I laugh. Hard laughing (and if you know me, you know I really need to laugh more….I’m just that serious). It’s stories – not just any stories. HILARIOUS stories. Wild stories. Stories that my boys say, “No way! No way!” It’s inspiring. The message is clear in each chapter. A love for God becomes something you do. Love isn’t a feeling. Love is an action. Love is a verb. Love Does.

I simply love a good story. Love Does is story after story. Woven together they tell the same message. But the stories are so wildly different that the book doesn’t get old. Many other christian living books about the mid point I feel the author is now beating me over the head with the same message. I want to scream, “I get it! I get it!” About mid-book, I feel I get the point, and the book finds its home on the bookshelf.

Get this book. Don’t get it at the library. It’s one you will want to keep.

And listen, there is one chapter that my boys have asked me to read over and over again. When you read the book, you will quickly know which chapter I’m referring to. Remember I have boys.

Oh! And Bob Goff donated 100% of the sales of Love Does to Restore International and The Mentoring Project. Love it!!

Here’s some other great reads from 2016 so far. Bridge to Terabithia. I read this to Jacob and Zachary. Great story on friendship. The writing style my boys highly appreciated. Zachary in particular loved the author’s descriptions which drew a clear picture in his mind. Andrew did not take part in this book. He wouldn’t understand it. And there were some language choices I could’ve done without.

Be warned, you will cry an ugly cry. I read the final chapters over two nights. Steve came home during night one and found me sobbing on the couch. Night two was worse. Ugly. Ugly cries. Consider yourself warned, my friends.

Now the book I’m almost done with and love is by Lynn Austin. I love her. I’m reading Hidden Places. So good. The thing with Lynn Austin’s books is that by the end, I feel I know the characters so well that I feel I’ve lost good friends when the story ends. The book is so good, I’m able to stay awake beyond my normal 1-2 pages a night. In fact, Steve is quite surprised to find he will fall asleep and wake up some time later because my reading light is still on.

If you are wanting a really great series Lynn Austin has my all time favorite series Chronicles of the Kings. Check out the first book here.

Ok, so it’s not too late to set some 2016 goals. Read more. Read more with your kiddos. Such time well spent. Who doesn’t need a good story these days?

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Happy Reading!

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On Raising A Modern Day David

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“Mommy, I’m really starting to read.”

I nodded keeping my finger on the page to track the words for him that his eyes struggle to track.

“Mommy, I really am. But all my friends can read all kinds of books.”

“Mommy, will I looooove to read? Because I think I will love it so much.”

My heart aches a different kind of ache now. When I first realized learning was difficult for this child, I just wanted it to be easy. I’ve shared that before. My heart physically ached for him to simply read like other kids. But God has changed me. He’s given me a different vision now.

“Andrew, you will loooooove to read. You will love it so much. And you know what? You will love it even more than some of your friends who learned early how to read because you’ve had to struggle and work hard. Sometimes when we have to work super hard at something, we appreciate it more. It just means more to us.”

It’s a gift, Lord. Thank you for this gift. 

He has a gift. He thinks outside the box. I like that. I’m an in the box kind of thinker most days. Andrew shows me things I’ve never seen.

One of Andrew’s teachers told me about a Focus on the Family broadcast that made her think of Andrew. I listened to it then went out and got the audiobook. It was Malcolm Gladwell’s David and Goliath.

It was interesting to hear a different perspective of David, one that didn’t take away the magnitude of who God used or what He did. He explained how we look at David as this little shepherd boy with a toy sling shot that took down a giant. But he showed a different way to look at this.

A young boy who thought differently. A young boy who knew that Goliath was expecting him to fight the way Goliath fought. But David knew his strengths. He knew he was accurate with a slingshot. He couldn’t take on a giant using the warfare the giant would use. He’d have to come from another angle. He had to think outside the box.

David was fast and precise. He was calculated and on-point. He was bold and courageous because He knew who held the battle. He knew who was on his side. But he was smart. A different kind of smart. A smart that didn’t think like everyone around him.

Remember the reaction he received when he stepped forward to take on the giant? Remember how Saul tried to suit him in his armor…the typical route. It didn’t take David long to realize that wasn’t the best option. He went at Goliath in a way Goliath never imagined.

After I listened to this telling in Gladwell’s book, I had a whole new appreciation for young David. I’ve always prayed for my boys to have hearts like David’s and spirits like Caleb’s. Hearing this story told from a completely different perspective made me more resolved than ever to pray for this kind of heart in my boys. And to relish in the fact that Andrew is a different thinker.

We sat at the breakfast table. Andrew sipped from his shake, lifted his eyes to meet mine. “Mommy, next time I go hunting, I’m going to do it a different way than Paw-Paw does it.”

Curiousity piqued. How else does one hunt for deer than how it’s been done for ages?

“How will you do it?”

“Paw-Paw sits real still and waits for the deer to come close to him and then he shoots them. I will come up from behind the deer and sack ’em.”

“You will sack the deer? Like you would sack a quarterback?”

100% confident, he nodded his head and returned to his shake.

Who knows, maybe it will work? I don’t think so, but I’m an in-the-box kind of thinker. Andrew isn’t limited like that. It might take a while to learn to read, to learn math facts, to understand difficult concepts. But he’s got one thing down. He knows how to think up new ideas and he has so much belief in a big God and himself in God’s plan that I don’t doubt he could actually be the first little boy in history to sack a deer.

“But you know, Mommy, deers can hear really good. So I have to be extra sneaky when I sack ’em.”

“Yes, you do, sweetie. I can’t wait to mount the first deer you sack.”

Praise God for His creativity seen in each child He’s created.

Lord, may I never stop seeing your awesome work in my children. May I be awestruck all the time. May I never doubt that you can do the impossible through your children. We praise you, Lord. We praise you.

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Dear Boys, Why I Can’t Rescue You From Your Problems

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Psalm 92:12 “The righteous will flourish like a palm tree.”

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Dear Boys,

When you were little, you would boldly start to climb up the playground ladder. Then you would get to a scary point, look back, and cry out, “Mommy, help.” I’d usually stand under that ladder, smile back at you and say, “You can do it. Go ahead. Reach for the next step and stretch your legs.”

Your chubby little legs would quiver as you looked back at me with question and fear. But then you would turn back to the ladder, stretch your legs, and reach for the next step. When you came zipping down that slide, wisps of hair flapping in the wind, the look of joy on your face was pure gold to me.

The next time you approached that ladder, you approached with a bold confidence. Each time you conquered the ladder gave you a little more reason to puff your chest. “I did it. I did it, mommy!”

“Yes, you did it all by yourself.”

Sometimes you fell from the ladder. Sometimes you would slip a touch. Sometimes you scaled with ease. Each time your confidence grew. You realized that when you pushed through, you could do more on your own than you realized.

Boys, though you are bigger, the principle still applies. And it will apply for life. Except one thing I want to add. Do nothing on your own. Do all through the strength of God.

Fail. Fall. Disappoint us. You have our permission. It’s how you will learn and become stronger.

I’ve written to you before on why we want you to fail. It’s important.

Dad and I will not come to your rescue as you learn to navigate life. We will be here to cheer you on, to encourage you, to dust the dirt from your back, to wipe the tears. But we won’t rescue you. We won’t save you from failing. We won’t save you from your mistakes.

But we aren’t standing over you saying, “You should’ve known better.” or “How dare you.” or “I can’t believe you did that.” You will be tempted to think that is what we are thinking, but hear us. We are looking on you with pride and compassion. We love your hearts. We love your drives. We love your determination. We love your strong wills. We love your faith. But you aren’t perfect. You weren’t created as miniature adults. We are learning life. You are learning from your mistakes. Be free to fall down and fail. Just get back up and try again.

When you ask me to sit with you while you work on homework and I tell you no, I’m not being mean. It’s because I believe in you. And I think you earning a C from struggling through the work on your own is far better than the A you could receive if I work on your homework with you. What good is a grade if you didn’t earn it? And don’t you value something more when you have poured your own sweat into it?

When you were little and you completed your first Lego set unassisted, you were far more proud than all the years we built sets together. When you push through and conquer on your own (with God fueling the fire) you will be better for it in the long run.

The other day one of you complained about a physical ailment. I heard your moaning and your cries. How you wish God would just take it away from you forever. In essence, you want to be rescued from the pain. While I just said Dad and I won’t rescue you from your failures, choices, and mistakes, when we see you in pain everything in us wants to rescue you. And I believe that God cries with us in our pains.

I heard you say, “Why me? Why of all people on the earth do I have to suffer with this?”

My response to you was, “Why do you feel you don’t deserve it and someone else does? Why do you think ‘why me’? Why not you? And have you ever considered how God shapes us through the pains, the trials, the mess ups, the failures? This is when we get strong.”

Hardships make us strong. Failures grow us.  This is true when we rely on the Lord through the trials and tough times in life.

I want to share a cool fact with you. If you plant a tree, and the tree is never exposed to wind, it becomes a weak tree. It never develops strong roots. If while that tree is maturing, it is protected and sheltered from wind, then it grows up and the shelter is gone and a strong wind comes, the tree is so weak, it can fall right over.

The stronger and harder the wind, the stronger the tree becomes over time.

Palm trees are incredibly strong. They are faced with hurricane winds. During the storm, they bend sometimes almost to the ground. But when the storm is over, they are returned to their original shape. Not only that, their roots grew stronger because of the storm.

Dad and I want you to be strong in the Lord. If we rescue you in your growing years, we will not allow you to draw your true strength found only in God.

When it’s Sunday night and you realize you forgot to do your homework and we tell you, “Sorry, you had all weekend to get that done,” we aren’t being mean to you. We are allowing you to make choices that have consequences and allowing you to weather the storm that it brings. We don’t love you less. We empathize. We understand. We are behind you each step. But we won’t rescue you from the storms.

You were created for the storms. The storms will make you strong and bold, with roots that will hold you steadfast.

So, boys, go for it. Give it all you’ve got. Don’t be afraid to climb higher. Don’t be afraid to let go and reach for the next step. You might fall. You might slip. Just get back up and do it again. Each step of the way, look to your Heavenly Father. Ask Him for strength, wisdom, and guidance. He will teach you and hold you through the very storms that grow you stronger.

With all my love,

Mom

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