When Things Don’t Go My Way

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Recently, I have found myself in a few situations that have been slightly more than disappointing.  In the grand scheme of life, they aren’t a huge deal, but in my little world, they are a pretty big deal.  To me.

I have found myself handling these disappointments no different than my children handle theirs at times.  Pouting.  Arguing.  Angry.  When my boys ask me for something and receive an undesirable response, the response from them that frustrates me the most is arguing or pouting. For them pouting is very rare.  They are boys.  Pouting is not cool.  I’m not a boy, and pouting is my ‘I hate not getting my way’ expression of choice.  Thankfully, God placed me among 4 souls who don’t tolerate pouting well, and I have to come out of it quicker than I prefer.

When my boys don’t get their way, I go into explanations of why it is for their own good.  I try my best to show them my perspective.  It doesn’t always work.  They are still disappointed.

In my spiritual walk, I find myself pouting far too easily when God doesn’t give me the answer I want most.  This is the case especially after periods of spiritual triumphs.  I’ve experienced these times with God that have put me on a spiritual high.  Then I come off of it and have a hard time accepting the answers that don’t bring on the highs again.

Our family’s favorite movie currently is Facing the Giants.  The movie is so full of inspiration and encouragement.  But my boys’ favorite line is “We praise Him when we win and we praise Him when we lose.”  I need to remember this in my daily walk.  Sometimes He chooses for me to win and sometimes He chooses for me to lose.  His love for me never wavered.  His acceptance of me never changed.

I want my response to be one of praise in the good and the bad.

In America we struggle with our joy coming from what happens in our daily life.  He never intended for our joy to come from our daily circumstances.  Our joy is found only in Him. Maybe when I learn to praise Him when I win and praise Him when I lose, I will finally learn this lesson once and for all.

The liturgical guide at church last week read this “Selah-musical interlude- When there is a “selah,” a musical interlude in a song, think of it as a “breath,” or a pause.  This is a time to reflect on what has been sung, to consider what is to be sung, and to internally listen and respond to the sweetness of the Lord.”

My prayer this week is to have more “selah” like experiences in my day, particularly after periods of spiritual triumphs and highs.  I want to pause in my day and breathe.  I want to reflect on what the Lord has done in the moments that made up my day.  I want to consider what He might do.  I want to internally listen and respond to the sweetness of the Lord.

Sometimes we get our way.  Sometimes we don’t.  Sometimes we experience spiritual triumphs and highs.  Sometimes we experience deep disappointment and pain.  My prayer is that my response to God doesn’t follow the path of the circumstances I find myself in.  Rather, I pray my response is one of praise no matter what He brings or allows my way.

As I watch one of my boys struggle through something very difficult right now, I observe his responses and his frustrations.  I answer him so confidently, yet I know how he feels.  When you are in it, it is hard to see the way an outsider sees.  He questioned the Lord’s plans for him, so last night we looked up a well-known verse.  Sometimes these well-known verses become just a little too familiar to us.  Maybe we can read it and practice a little “selah” experience.

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”

Whether we are experiencing a high or a low, we can praise Him.  We can choose to praise Him when we win.  And we can praise Him when we lose.  We can praise Him in the highs and praise Him in the lows.  We can practice pausing – like a selah- and reflect on our experiences and our moments and ponder what is to come.  All the while listening and responding to His goodness.

[box] If you would be so kind, would you take just a moment to pop over to http://www.christianpublishers.net/14votes/ and cast your vote for Seeking Christmas. It is nominated in the nonfiction-devotional category and is voted on by readers. I would be so grateful. Thank you![/box]

What Open Letters And 6 Things To Never Say Type Posts Do To A Heart

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When I wrote A Letter to My Sons – (the real reason I say no to electronics), I was shocked when it went viral.  Shocked because this was a letter to my boys expressing my heart to them. I’m a terrible blogger.  What I mean is that I don’t understand SEO language.  I don’t attend blogger conferences.  I don’t do anything you are supposed to do to grow a blog other than write.  I’ve never explored how to make money from my blog (which by the way I don’t).  This is all part of the reason it was so surprising to me.

I couldn’t help wondering what caused that post to spread so quick and wide.  Did I use key terms without realizing it?  I later realized the post was popular because so many people could relate to it.  I had many people send me messages saying that it put voice to what was in their heart.  They just didn’t have the words to express it.

{For those of you who sent me comments like that, you have no idea what it meant to me.  The reason I write is to encourage you (while I remind myself) that we are on a beautiful journey – even when it looks messy.  I’m getting off-topic now, so back on track.}

This post was titled “Letter to my Sons”, which caused to me take notice of the recent posts that have filled up my inbox and newsfeed.  These aren’t new, they have been popular for some time.  For some reason, I’m just taking notice to them.  I’m referring to the posts that have titles similar to things like “Open Letter To….”  or “6 Things to Never Say to a …..”  They spread like wildfire. Mostly, because many of us can relate to them.  It helps us to feel not so alone. Sometimes.  At other times it evokes a different feeling or emotion.  Shame, regret, insecurity, embarrassment, to name a few, which ultimately make us feel…alone.

Here’s the thing.  Sometimes, these types of posts leave me feeling discouraged and like a failure. Again.  It’s one thing to listen to my inner critic telling me all the ways I’m failing through my day.  “You have not sent thank you notes for Andrew’s party.  From November! Everyone must think you are so ungrateful.”  “You haven’t answered those emails piling up. They must think you don’t really care.”  “You yelled at your 8 year old.  You are a terrible mom.” See where I’m going?

We are SO hard on ourselves.  Then to read a post or article that tells me I’ve failed someone big time (though unintentionally, so they don’t fault me-because they don’t know me), well, I leave that article feeling embarrassed and shamed.  Worse than that, I feel a barrier was erected.  Because while I was reading, I wasn’t reading through any kind of lens of love.  I walked away with a hurt in my heart.

These types of posts can be read on both sides of the fence.  I’ve read them from both sides.

Sometimes I read those posts and can relate.  I’ll admit, I’ve nodded my head in agreement and offered a silent Amen.  Then I’ve hit the share button. I’ve felt offended by the comments people have made to me.  I was a working mom for the first two years of Jacob’s life.  It was the hardest two years of my life.  I have a soft spot for the working moms.  People would say the craziest things to me, and I walked away feeling like an awful mom and believing that is the way they viewed me as well.  Then I became a stay at home mom.  And I had people say the craziest things to me again.  I walked away feeling worthless and like what I did didn’t amount to much.

Here’s the thing.  I’ve said things that have offended others as well! Unintentionally.  I would never intentionally offend, but sometimes I speak then think.  I mess up.  I fail. And I feel awful when I realize what I did.  The people that have spoken into my life words that hurt, often it was not spoken with the intent to hurt.  Often it was spoken because they didn’t know what else to say.  Maybe they had never experienced what I was going through and they spoke quickly without realizing the impact it could have on my heart.  I get that because I’ve done it more times than I wish were the case.

The good and the bad in this online world we are living in is the power that it holds over our thought life.  We can read something that lifts us up.  2 minutes later we can read something that makes us feel like the biggest failure in the world.  What we read shapes us and influences us more than we realize at times.  Some of what I’ve read has shaped how I view life, how I raise my kids, even how I feed my kids.

What we write and what we read holds a great deal of power.

Moms and Ladies- we are in this together.  We are a team.  We are sisters.  We love each other.  Let’s write like we are on the same team.  Let’s read like we are on the same team. Let’s share like we are on the same team.

My real-life friend and blogger over at Domestic Charm recently wrote a post about her daughter being the victim of mean girls.  Her post was beautiful and inspired her readers because of her response to the situation.

Friends, the online world allows the mean girl syndrome to emerge sometimes.  Therefore, we are wise to guard what we write, read, and share.

Many of the posts I’ve read recently did not intend to be the “mean girl”.  I should lay it out here….the mean girl is only an analogy I’m using.  I am in no way calling anyone or any post a mean girl.  I’m simply illustrating an example. If you have written a post like this, I’m not standing here in judgement.  If you share these types of post, I’m not writing this in judgement.  I’ve done the very thing I’m writing about.

Many of these types of posts make us feel like the target of the mean girl.  The online world gives a way to express the sentiments of the mean girl even when written without that intent.  I believe no blogger or writer is attempting to be a mean girl.  This is why I am going ahead and stating now, I’m not posting this to debate.  None of us want to be the mean girl.  But when we post things that are going to make someone feel awful about what they’ve done and said unintentionally, out of ignorance even, it becomes a mean girl type of post.

It goes beyond just the articles that tell us how we fail to communicate properly.  It includes the articles that give us 9 ways we are messing up our kids or 11 ways we are destroying our marriage.  I don’t know about you, but I struggle every single day with these types of damaging thoughts.  This is where the enemy would love our thoughts to plant themselves.  Right at the corner of failure and shame.  That is not the bench we need to sit on, so together, let’s move to another bench.

Many of the posts I’ve read recently have come from a place of the writer experiencing something that is really hard.  Really, really hard.  And the gist of the posts are expressing how people who respond to them can ‘do better’ when they relate to them or communicate to the writer or people who can relate to the writer.  We can’t change how each person that communicates with us chooses to express themselves.  We can’t change how they go about relating to people and doing life.  We can’t change anyone except ourselves.

Instead of us becoming so easily offended by what others do and say, what if we chose a different course?  What if in those instances, we put on a new set of shades?  Love colored lenses?  If we can’t change what we see and hear, maybe we can change how we see it and hear it.

So, I have an idea.  Or at least I’m planning to try this.  My expectations and my perspectives and perceptions get me into trouble at times.  Trouble in my heart.  I place enormous expectations on people.  And I feel the weight of everyone’s expectations on me.  Sometimes the rebel inside wants to just let go.  But I won’t, because God wants more from me than that.

When someone says something to me that offends, I will not think to myself a single negative thought.  I will choose instead to think something positive about this person.

I will release people from living up to my expectations.  Instead I will choose to believe they are living this life the best way they know how.  Because of that, they will do and say some things right and some things wrong.  Just like me.

I will choose to smile and offer grace and mercy.  Because I myself have received it.

I will choose not to be offended.  I will choose love instead.

I will choose to think from their perspective.  Not only mine.

I will choose selectively what I share on FB, Twitter, etc.  If it is an article that states my case and vindicates me passive-aggressivley, maybe I shouldn’t spread it.  If it will encourage someone in their day, maybe it’s a good share.

I will choose to wear my love colored lenses today.

I will choose to look up and realize He’s covered all of my offenses and cleansed me, therefore, I should show mercy without ceasing.

Ladies, let’s choose to put on our love colored lenses today and change the way we see the people and hear the voices around us.  Let’s encourage each other and build each other up.  We are each on our own private, hard path.  God intended for us to love each other and join together down these paths.  Let’s show mercy.  And love.

1 Corinthians 13:1-5 “If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.  If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.  If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.”

[box] PS – This post is not intended to incite debate over any posts or articles in the “Open Letter” or “6 Things Not to Say” category. I humbly ask you to refrain from commenting in a way that could be negative or hurtful.  I used the mean girl as an analogy and in no way am calling anyone a mean girl. This post is meant to inspire each of us to view the “offender” in our lives through the lens of love rather than judgement and to think before we write, read, or share something that will make someone feel worse about themselves. Particularly when it’s an area they may be uncomfortable in or never personally experienced.  I pray this post is read through loved colored lenses today. [/box]

Everyday Fears: I’m Not Nehemiah – And That’s Ok

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Today concludes our Nehemiah Mini-Series on facing our everyday fears that threaten to hold us back from living out our dreams, our desires, our purposes, our passions.  Nehemiah is a big example of someone recognizing a desire placed in his heart by God, facing the criticism of others, praying through opposition and obstacles, and accomplishing an amazing task for God. One thing I hope you walk away with is this.  We are not all a Nehemiah.  And that is perfectly OK.  In fact, it’s more than ok, it’s the way God designed it.

This world doesn’t need millions of Nehemiahs.  My hope through this series was that we could look at the whole picture of Nehemiah and see the various components of the story and how it applies to our daily lives.

Neh 4:6 So we rebuilt the wall till all of it reached half its height, for the people worked with all their heart.  The people worked with all their heart.  I love that.  To work something with all our hearts, we usually are working out of our giftedness.  It’s hard for me to work with all my heart in certain tasks.  I am not a fan of physical labor.  My husband will plan these outdoor workdays, which are just miserable for me.  He will often say, “It won’t happen just by you looking at it.”  I’m just hoping that if I stare hard enough and long enough, it will magically happen without me lifting a finger.  It doesn’t work that way.  I rarely work with all my heart on those projects because I’m so focused on what feels so unnatural to me. I rarely look for my talents in those times and how I can apply them to the task.

To accomplish something as big as the rebuilding of the wall, it took everyone working with all their hearts.  Nehemiah was gifted as a leader.  Others, I imagine, were gifted with encouragement.  Maybe they were speaking words of inspiration to their fellow workmen during those long hours.  Others might have been gifted with strength and a strong work ethic.  They might have served as examples to others that struggled in this area, and they likely picked up some of the lags left by others not so gifted here.  Some might have been gifted with organization skills.  Maybe they used their talents of organization to keep the project flowing well and efficiently.  Maybe some were gifted with administrative skills and were able to focus on the small details that others missed, which are vitally important to a big project.

The point is this, we all have gifts, talents, natural bents.  When these are aligned with the purposes God places in our hearts, which give way to finding what we are passionate about, amazing eternal work is accomplished.

I have a friend who got a new puppy.  She began walking her puppy around the neighborhood several times a day.  Puppies are a people magnet, and she suddenly found herself having conversations with some of the same people everyday.  Many of these were elderly people that she did not know prior to getting her new puppy.  Then she noticed that some of the elderly would see her through a window in their home and come out just to talk to her and pet her puppy.

My friend is the most amazing listener. When I’m with her my love for talking and her love for listening go together dangerously well.  She felt a stirring in her heart.  Slight stirring.  She recognized that stirring would come alive when she was talking to the folks that lived around her.  These people were drawn to her because she can listen.  Really listen.  And many of these people are alone all day long with no one to listen to them.  She gives them that opportunity.

She is a busy mom, yet she recognized the Lord’s purpose He had placed in her heart for this place, for this time, for this season.  It is becoming her ministry.  Now, does my friend go around shouting from the rooftops about her ministry?  No.  Does her ministry look as grand as something like Proverbs 31 Ministries that reaches millions of people?  No.  Her desire isn’t a Nehemiah desire.  She recognized her giftedness and applied it to her daily life, thus living out her desires and passions.  She learned to be content as a fellow workmen on the building of something with eternal significance.

What happens when everyone is working out their passions and purposes using what God placed in them. What if others had thought their gifts weren’t as grand as Nehemiah’s and did nothing?  What if they compared themselves to Nehemiah ‘I’m not a Nehemiah…what can God do?’  Then Nehemiah’s purpose would not have been fulfilled.  He used his gift of leadership to inspire a people.  But the builders used their own talents and gifts to follow Nehemiah.  Without each of them working together, the purpose would not have been fulfilled.

Some desires are big.  Some are not.  From an eternal standpoint, they are all monumental.

This is Part 5 to a mini-series titled Everyday Fears.  We are looking at Nehemiah and how a desire, which turned into a passion, was awakened in him and how he fought through fear to accomplish a purpose.  Nehemiah is a big example.  Don’t let that intimidate you.  Our purposes aren’t always as grand as rebuilding a wall for a nation. Some of our purposes may seem so small that we feel silly sharing them.  That’s what fear wants us to think.  I pray through this series we will begin to examine what God has placed in us that begs to be awakened.  Big or small, if God placed it in us, it needs to be awakened.

You can see all parts here:

Part 1: The Awakening

Part 2: Nehemiah’s Awakening

Part 3:  The First Step of Combat

Part 4:  What Will Others Think

Everyday Fears: What Will Others Think?

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Neh 4:1 When Sanballat heard that we were rebuilding the wall, he became angry and was greatly incensed.  He ridiculed the Jews, and in the presence of his associates and the army of Samaria, he said, “What are those feeble Jews doing?  Will they restore their wall?  Will they offer sacrifices?  Will they finish in a day?  Can they bring the stones back to life from those heaps of rubble – burned as they are?

What if Nehemiah had listened to this?

When I first started writing, I cared too much what others thought.  I checked my stats way too much.  I checked for FB likes far too often.  I needed that affirmation that my abilities were being used for good.  Likes and shares are a poor indicator of eternal work.

One of fears strongest tactics is to convince us to care what others will think.  When we are using our gifts and abilities, we will have some who love it and some who hate it.  Period. When we stop performing for the world, and begin performing for an audience of One, everything changes.  Our motives remain pure and true.  Our giftedness can bloom and grow. When the fear of what others think is hanging around, we will not perform to the best of our abilities. Because we aren’t performing for the right audience.  We will be trying to please too many people.

When we move into an area we feel called to, fear will speak louder.

Fear is the ultimate intimidator.  It won’t be easily convinced to give up.  (See Neh 2:19)

When desires give birth to passion, opposition will soon follow.  The goal of opposition is to intimidate. Opposition is not our friend, nor should we listen to it.  This is not a voice we should care what it says.  It seeks to put to bed something God intends to be awakened.

Sanballet didn’t give up easily, and neither will our enemy.  When Sanballet heard that the wall had been rebuilt, he sent Nehemiah a message requesting him to come visit.  Nehemiah knew this was a plan devised to harm him and intimidate him, so he declined.  Sanballet didn’t give up easily.  On the fifth attempt, he changed the message and sent a letter claiming that it had been reported the Jews were planning a revolt, which is why they were building the wall.  The letter threatened to proclaim this to the king in Judah.

I love Nehemiah’s response, such confidence, Neh 6:8-9  I sent him this reply: “Nothing like what you are saying is happening; you are just making it up out of your head.”  I really, really love that line.  “You are just making it up out of your head.”  I will use this on fear when he whispers to my heart! Ok, back on track.  Neh 6:9 They were all trying to frighten us, thinking, “Their hands will get too weak for the work, and it will not be completed.”  But I prayed, “Now strengthen my hands.”

So much here.  So much.  Intimidation (fear) is relentless.  Nehemiah is an example to us of how to stand strong in the Lord and fight back.  How?  He didn’t listen to fear’s voice.  He knew his gifts, he knew his purpose, he trusted God to carry him through.  But what I love is even in his giftedness, he never looked to himself.  He always looked back to God.  Even with great success to that point, when Sanballet tried to intimidate him saying their hands would get too weak, he didn’t believe it, but more than that, he prayed specifically for strength in his hands. He recognized who the giver of talents was.

So today can we look our everyday fears in the eyes (procrastination, busyness, people pleasing, however it is disguised) and say “You are just making it up in your head!”  Then can we look to God and say, “Now strengthen my hands?”

This is Part 4 to a mini-series titled Everyday Fears.  We are looking at Nehemiah and how a desire, which turned into a passion, was awakened in him and how he fought through fear to accomplish a purpose.  Nehemiah is a big example.  Don’t let that intimidate you.  Our purposes aren’t always as grand as rebuilding a wall for a nation. Some of our purposes may seem so small that we feel silly sharing them.  That’s what fear wants us to think.  I pray through this series we will begin to examine what God has placed in us that begs to be awakened.  Big or small, if God placed it in us, it needs to be awakened.

You can see all parts here:

Part 1: The Awakening

Part 2: Nehemiah’s Awakening

Part 3:  The First Step to Combat

 

Everyday Fears – First Step of Combat

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When a desire is awakened, something else comes to attention.  Fear.  Fear of the everyday kind takes many shapes.  It might look like procrastination.  It might look like insecurity.  It might look like humility (this is a tricky one).  It might look like a busy schedule.  It might look like disorganization.  It might look like many different things, all of which seek to tell us the desire is not worth exploring.

Fear prefers to squash the desire because it knows that the desire will morph into passion given enough freedom.

See fear is fear.  Fear fears.  Fear is itself.  Does that make any sense at all?  Fear fears what you may do.  Fear fears what is inside you placed by God.  Fear fears you chasing that dream. Fear fears you discovering a passion you believed wasn’t grand enough.  Fear fears your heart quickening at the thought of using your gifts and talents.  Fear fears what is inside of you waiting to be awakened.

If fear’s whisper is given too much authority, it might just convince us to put desire back to bed.

Nehemiah recognized what was needed to fully awaken the passion that burned inside of him. Prayer.  Nehemiah prayed before each step he took.

Nehemiah went to God in prayer throughout his journey of rebuilding the wall.  He was confident in his calling, and he recognized he couldn’t do it without the Lord every step of the way.

Before Nehemiah approached the king, he prayed God would give him favor in the sight of the king (Neh 1:11).  Before Nehemiah answered the king’s question, he prayed (Neh 2:4-5).  When the enemy plotted against their plan, they prayed (Neh 4:9).  When the enemy tried to intimidate their work, Nehemiah prayed (Neh 6:9-10).

When passions and purposes are awakened in us, fear begins to talk louder.  We will be tempted to listen to fear because it’s a familiar voice.  Prayer will silence the inner voice whose name is fear.  Remember fear is a deceiver.

Remember back to the post Everyday Fears – Nehemiah’s Awakening.  Neh 1:4 When I heard these things, I sat down and wept.  For some days I mourned and fasted and prayed before the God of heaven.

Neh 2:4-5 The king said to me, “What is it you want?”  Then I prayed to the God of heaven, and I answered the king….

Guess what happened?  The king granted Nehemiah’s request.

When our desires come awake, when our passions begin to burn, we pray.  Each. step. of. the. way.  Fear would love us to forget  this critical component.  Prayer is a direct assault to fear, so fear wants you to think you can move forward without it.  Fear will even twist its message and let you believe you only need prayer for step 1.

Each step of living out our gifts and abilities will bring new challenges.  That inner voice may sound the same, but it will whisper different things.  The sole purpose…..to make us doubt our calling and purpose.

What do you love?  What pulls out emotions?  What makes you talk faster?  What animates you?  He has gifted each of us for specific purposes.  We each have a purpose in this life. Each purpose looks different from another’s.  Each passion is unique, even when it looks the same.

Pray.  Pray to know how the Lord has gifted you.  Pray to discover your unique purpose.  If you know it, pray for the courage to fight the everyday fears that wage war to hold you back from fully living out the person He created you to be.

This is Part 3 to a mini-series titled Everyday Fears.  We are looking at Nehemiah and how a desire, which turned into a passion, was awakened in him and how he fought through fear to accomplish a purpose.  Nehemiah is a big example.  Don’t let that intimidate you.  Our purposes aren’t always as grand as rebuilding a wall for a nation. Some of our purposes may seem so small that we feel silly sharing them.  That’s what fear wants us to think.  I pray through this series we will begin to examine what God has placed in us that begs to be awakened.  Big or small, if God placed it in us, it needs to be awakened.

You can see Part 1 here and Part 2 here.

 

 

 

Everyday Fears – Nehemiah’s Awakening

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Nehemiah was cupbearer to the king.  A position of high regard – he tasted the wine to be sure it wasn’t poisoned.  News came to Nehemiah of the Jewish remnant in exile and the state of their affairs.  Neh 1:4 “When I heard these things, I sat down and wept.  For some days, I mourned and fasted and prayed before the God of heaven.”

Nehemiah’s heart was moved.  Intensely he felt.  A desire came awake.

What moves your heart?  What awakens you and pulls out emotions and desires dormant in your heart?

I imagine Nehemiah realized the intensity of his passion for his people lent to a calling from the Lord.  His heart was moved, and he went straight to the Lord with what was placed in his heart. Nehemiah didn’t fish for reassurance.  (like I did) He petitioned the Lord out of the passion and desires in his heart.

Nehemiah approached the king.  A desire, a passion, was aroused in him, and he took it straight to the king.  Approaching the king took great courage.  Approaching the king could get you killed.  Neh 2:2-5 ….I was very much afraid, but I said to the king, “May the king live forever! Why should my face not look sad when the city where my fathers are buried lies in ruins, and its gates have been destroyed by fire?”

The king said to me, “What is it you want?”

Then I prayed to the God of heaven, and I answered the king, “If it pleases the king and if your servant has found favor in his sight, let him send me to the city in Judah where my fathers are buried so that I can rebuild it.” 

Awakening a purpose, discovering a passion,  is frightening and exhilarating at the same time. It ushers us into battle.  The desire is awakened and begins to pick a fight with fear.  For some of us fear has been allowed to rule over desire, passion, and purpose.  Once awakened, desire, passion, and purpose begin to call fears bluff.  You see fear is a great liar, a great deceiver. When a desire is awakened it says to fear, “Bring it on!”

Fear has been whispering into our hearts far too long.  Fear has created an inner voice that we listen to far too often.  We listen to the voice because it’s our own voice.  It’s what we are comfortable listening to.  The voice tells us we can’t do something, or we aren’t good enough, or people will think we are weird.  Fear produces insecurity.  Insecurity is a blanket to desire, hiding it in the depths of our hearts.

Nehemiah knew who he was in the lord.  Because of understanding his position in God, he moved with courage despite his fear.  He didn’t allow fear to speak into his heart.  He understood who placed the desire in His heart.  He understood that He who placed the desire was greater than the one who whispered in the name of fear.  Regardless of what others thought, he moved forward, confident in who placed the desire in His heart, confident that it was the Lord at work and not himself.

Everyday fears are far more dangerous than the fears we face unexpectedly.  Fears that crop up, we recognize for what they are.  Fear.  The fears we face everyday masquerade as something else.  It hides itself so as not to be discovered.  Because once fear is discovered, it’s game on.

What is desperate to be awakened in you?  Consider the gifts, abilities, desires, talents, and passions the Lord has placed inside you.  The first step is to recognize what the Lord has placed in you.  If you are unsure, begin to pray.  The Lord wants to use you.  He has a specific purpose for your life.

No desire is too small.  Or too big.  No passion is too small.  Or too big.  Avoid comparing your passions to anyone else’s.  Avoid comparing your talents to another’s.  This is one of fears big traps.

Ask the question that will awaken something desperate to come awake.  If God has placed it in you, He doesn’t want it sleeping.  It needs to come awake.

This is Part 2 to a mini-series titled Everyday Fears.  We are looking at Nehemiah and how a desire, which turned into a passion, was awakened in him and how he fought through fear to accomplish a purpose.  Nehemiah is a big example.  Don’t let that intimidate you.  Our purposes aren’t always as grand as rebuilding a wall for a nation. Some of our purposes may seem so small that we feel silly sharing them.  That’s what fear wants us to think.  I pray through this series we will begin to examine what God has placed in us that begs to be awakened.  Big or small, if God placed it in us, it needs to be awakened.

You can see Part 1 here. 

Everyday Fears – The Awakening

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“Sometimes I just wonder who am I to write to encourage others.  I mean I struggle constantly and fail daily.  So who do I think I am to do what I’m doing?  Maybe I’ve misinterpreted God.  I wonder if people think ‘Who does she think she is?’ ”

She listened to me, nodding in agreement.  My insecurities climbed another notch.

It’s kind of like asking your husband if the pants make your butt look big.  If he isn’t quick to reassure you, then you spend the rest of your life thinking your butt is bigger than it is.  It lingers in the back of your mind for life, and you never let it go.  Or so I’ve heard….

I was fishing.  I wanted affirmation that I was good enough to do what I wanted to do and what I felt God had called me to do.  I thought God would surely send that message through my friend. I looked to my friend for reassurance rather than the One who placed the desire in my heart. This conversation took place before Seeking Christmas released.

I continued on, “Sometimes I wonder if I write because that is what God called me to do or if it’s me just following my own desires and dreams.  Maybe He didn’t call me to write and it’s just something I love to do.”

For  years I wrote out of a desire in my heart. A desire I kept hidden.  Thoughts battled inside me that led me to believe a calling from God would look big and highly sacrificial.  That it would be something highly uncomfortable, so I began to wonder if I was wrong.  I’ve come to realize that God’s callings can look big or small, and no matter the size, He will do with them what He chooses – for His glory.

Insecurity held me back.  Insecurity rooted in fear.

I kept the desire somewhat hidden out of fear.  Fear of ridicule.  Fear of failure.  Fear of success.  Fear of disappointment.  Fear of exposure.  Fear of imperfection.  Fear of comparison.  Fear of…..the list is endless.

I feared, quite simply, myself.  More than anything I feared myself.  I asked myself the question “Who Am I?”.  The better question is “Who is He that despite me can use me?”

Desires lie within each of us.  Desires that desire to be awakened.  Who placed those desires within us? Who created us with a natural bent towards something?  Who makes our heart beat a little faster for something?  Who does that?

What causes us to feel deeply?  What causes us to really come alive?  When those desires are tapped into, do we feel a deeper purpose in our moments?

These are just a few questions I began exploring in my life.  When asked the question ‘What is our purpose in life?’,  we spout off the answer we know.  “To glorify God.”  But how?  How do we glorify God in our daily lives?  I began searching.

I recognized the desire the Lord placed in my heart.  However, the desire didn’t fully come awake until I took the first step forward.  With each step the desire grew.  It grew from a desire into a flaming passion.  Each trample on the head of fear allowed something to grow in its place.  Something had to die in order for new life to occur.

The awakening won’t happen when fear is given the front seat.  Desire and passion will lie dormant in the backseat until fear is given the boot.  Fear must be put in its proper place in order to awaken, fully awaken, the passions that are desperate for the front seat.

We don’t have to be the best at what we do to do what we were called to do.  We just have to do it to the best of the gifts and abilities He has given us.  This is counter to the perfectionistic world we live in.  We can’t all be the best.  We won’t all be the best.

As I began writing this post, I realized it would end up becoming more of a mini-series.  I watched the word count climb as I unpacked this piece by piece.  In order to keep you with me on this journey, I’ve broken it up into multiple posts.  I hope you stick around.

Fear is the theme the Lord has been swirling around my head these days.  Not the fear of the unknown or the unexpected twists and turns of life.  It’s the everyday kinds of fears.

Would you journey with me through the book of Nehemiah?  We will explore Nehemiah and how he recognized a desire, which became a passion.  How he used his abilities to act on that passion for God’s glory.  How he faced fears and moved forward anyway.  And how he inspired a people to rebuild a wall.  It’s an amazing story.

Here’s the thing, some of you reading this have desires tucked away.  Some of you have passions burning, some brighter than others.  Some of you haven’t taken the step forward because fear (also known as your inner critic) has been speaking too loudly.  Some of you are believing fear’s lies (your desire isn’t big enough or your desire is impossible).

In this New Year, get ready to come awake.