Stepping off the crazy busy cycle and embracing a simpler life

We are a fear-based culture. We fear if we don’t sign our kids up for music, karate, and baseball, they will be left behind the pack. That if we don’t get them in the best school in kindergarten, they are doomed for the rest of their life. That if we don’t find their sport of specialty by age 7, we can forget them getting a scholarship.

We follow the masses who follow this fear-based life that leads to crazy busy like we’ve never seen before.

Busy. We are too busy. We are exhausted. And what is the point of it all? Really?

Parents are worn down from centering their lives around their children, giving their children the best of experiences, education, and opportunities. This is exactly what the enemy hopes we will do. He hopes we feed on this enough and spread it to those in our circle of influence.

We run our kids to piano then to soccer, then to camp, then to a friend’s house. And that is just one kid. Times the number of kids, it’s no wonder marriages are struggling to connect and we have no time to serve.  It’s no wonder our kids feel entitled and the need to be entertained. We feel disconnected at home. When we are running from here to there, eventually we arrive at a place and wonder is it all worth it? What is the goal of the crazy busy madness?

It only intensifies as they move through the teenage years. Then they leave, and we are left to wonder if all the busy mattered. Was it worth it?

Did the busy shape their hearts? Did speaking two languages, while playing an instrument and becoming an incredible little league pitcher…did it make them strong in their inner being? Did it make them a person who can stand for truth in the pressure of culture? Did it make them compassionate and tender so they can be one who impacts a change in our world? Did it make them confident in who they are not what their abilities are? Abilities and talents come and go, but did the busy make them secure of who they are in the core of their soul?

Is the busy worth it?

I experienced something recently that opened my eyes to the enormity of a simpler, less busy life, an open schedule, and a great big giant God. I’m sharing this story not to brag on my kids. I can share a book of stories that would embarrass my children (and us), but I want to do neither. I want the focus of this story not on my kids. I want you to read this through the lens of a giant God and what He desires to do in our homes and why we might want to consider stepping off the crazy busy ride.

Margin must be created intentionally in this culture. Schedules must be left open on purpose in order to serve a greater purpose.

If we don’t create the margin on purpose, it will never exist. When we leave space in our lives, we can spontaneously host or accept last minute dinner guests or invites. We can say yes to a need that pops up around us. Time will always be filled one way or another. But when we leave time open on purpose, we allow God an opportunity to fill it with what is most important.

On Wednesday, I had a fairly wide open schedule. The schedule was open, yet the task list was full. I had plenty of work to do to fill every second of the day. I did something different that day. I prayed for God to highjack my time and to direct my every step. I should do this every day, but I don’t.

One day I can share the cool stories that happened, but for now let me say that my day ended up being hours of amazing miracles. It was like God was screaming, “This is how it could always be if you gave me your time all the time!”

Not only was the day open, but the night was open too. And God continued to direct the steps that would make up this day.

Our church holds a prayer meeting in the chapel for about 20 minutes every Wednesday night. It is typically the same dedicated people who show up week after week to pray over the needs of the church. On Wednesday I felt a prompting in my spirit to go. I voiced it to a friend who encouraged me to go with the boys. Steve was not going to be home that evening. I fully expected the boys to dread the idea of going to something at church that would not entertain them, where there would be no other kids, and would not be about them at all.

To my complete shock, the boys showed nothing but excitement. Even when I explained how it would work. We arrived to the quiet chapel. The boys took a seat in the pews. They opened Bibles and began reading. (This is the point I need to remind you please don’t focus on my boys here…focus on what God did through them and despite me)

Several kind souls introduced themselves, spoke to my boys, shook our hands, welcomed us, explained how the prayer meeting runs. The pastor arrived, I shared the requests on our hearts, which is what prompted us to attend. The pastor and others shared the needs they were aware of. The pastor asked everyone to bow their heads and pray silently.

While in silent prayer, I felt a little hand on my back begin to rub up and down. Then it found a way to my hand and held tight. I felt his little body adjust as the time increased in silent prayer. Then I heard his precious whispers, “Dear God, I pray for my daddy’s job. And God, I pray for Jacob’s math grades. And dear God, I pray for Zachary’s grades. And dear God, I pray for my baptism. And I pray for my mom.”

Talk about a full heart. Nothing in the world compares to feeling the presence of God and hearing a child’s heart poured out before Him.

The pastor closed us in prayer. We stopped in the prayer room to say hello to the sweet souls who would gather for the next hour to lift up these requests, and we left.

As we exited the building, one of my boys who complained of stomach pains on the way to church, said, “Mom, I feel so much better now. I feel physically better, but I feel spiritually better.”

“I know what you mean. Something about being in the presence of God just puts everything right.”

“Yes, mom! You could feel God’s presence there. It is so different than on church days. There was something so neat about there only being a few people there and it being quiet so we could just be with God.”

Another son spoke up, “Mom, this was awesome. Can we make this an every Wednesday night thing?”

Stunned again.

Then another son, “Yeah! This was so much fun!”

Then the first son, “What was so neat is that one of the ladies reminded the group to pray for our family. Mom, it was like she genuinely cared for us.”

That is church. That is REAL church. Not the programs and activities. Not the sermons and lessons. Not the people who fail and disappoint us. It’s the hearts that love Jesus so much that they genuinely care for others and love others enough to lift them to the Father.

The reminder again- I don’t need fancy programs to engage my kids for Christ. I don’t need to make it fun and energetic (though there is nothing wrong with that). They only need Jesus. They only need the presence of God. They only need Him. Something about the quiet allows us to experience Him in an intimate way.

Something about the freedom of a slow schedule allows us to interact with Him in sacred ways. This is what our culture is desperate for. We are desperate for Him, but we run ourselves ragged keeping pace with the world around us and we crowd Him out. Or we base our decisions on the interests of our kids- like I almost did. I almost didn’t attend for fear my kids wouldn’t be interested rather than attending regardless of if they wanted to or not. Praise God He prepared their hearts to desire to attend.

I hear it all the time. I see it all the time. We are busy, busy, busy. And the enemy loves it. We put on our busy badge with pride when what we need to do is stomp it to pieces and be proud that we have an open schedule. It doesn’t mean we aren’t important or unloved. It means we’ve chosen to leave space for the sacred moments. We’ve chosen to leave space for God to bring unexpected invitations and engagements our way.

God is all we need. It’s our culture that adds to Him. We live in a bigger is better, more is desirable world. He wants to give us more than we’ve ever desired. But we choose the lesser option. And we have no idea what we’ve done.

You see, God is a God of bigger is better too. Just not like we think. We’ve never imagined the bigger He has in store for us. Not bigger houses, nicer cars, fancier vacations. The bigger He has takes away all desires for the things of this world. The bigger He offers leaves us on a high like we’ve never experienced. The bigger He has sustains us, fills us.

If we want more than we’ve ever imagined, the first step is taking our family off the crazy busy ride with our culture. It’s to decide to leave margin in the schedule every day, every week, every month. It’s to be ok with nothing to do and to instead open our hands to God and cry out, “God fill this time with what you desire.”

You will not believe what He does with your time. He is the greatest gift Giver. Give Him your time and watch how He will change your heart, your children, your marriage, your home, your life.

Leave space so God can do in you and through you what will never be accomplished on the crazy busy cycle.

Psalm 115:4

May the Lord give you increase, you and your children!