One Thing That Will Change Your Life – 5 Ways to Make It Happen

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Early in my parenting years, I came to understand that if I didn’t intentionally claim the time allotted to me, I would drift into a reactionary state of living. If I lived each day in a state of reaction, I would not parent the way I desired.

When my babies were babies, I made one small decision that has impacted me in ways that have altered the course of my days and my entire life. I decided that I wanted to wake before my kids. I wanted to shower and put myself together so I could be with them 100% when they were awake. I wanted to give them my all and felt if I didn’t have to think of myself in the mornings, things would go smoother.

For the most part they did. It helped me tremendously. However, it wasn’t the one thing that changed my life, rather it was the first step to the one thing that changed my life.

From the time I became a follower of Jesus, I began the discipline of a daily quiet time. When my boys were little, I felt all I could do was squeeze in the time around their schedules. I had to sneak times of quiet, hiding out from the kids. Much of my quiet time was far shorter than I preferred. I felt lucky to sneak in 5-10 minutes to spend alone with the Lord. I attended church, I was in a Bible study, I was in a small group. But time alone with the Lord was scarce.

My soul began to crave what it needed, what it was created to desire. Intimate time with God. Time carved out for just the two of us. A private date.

I made a decision to change how I spent those quiet moments in the morning. I had to adjust my schedule and my priorities. The tending of my soul is more important than anything I do all day long. When my soul finds rest in God alone, everything I encounter, everything I attempt, everything I dream, everything I serve finds its purpose and satisfaction.

The one small change I’ve made in 38 years that has impacted my life more than anything else is to wake when everyone still sleeps, tiptoe downstairs, and steal away with the lover of my soul.

Spending the quiet moments of my morning alone with God is a standing date. It’s not a habit. It’s not a chore. It’s not something placed on my to-do list. My time with God awakens my soul, stirs my heart, revives my spirit, refreshes my mind, and directs my steps. 

Before beginning my day alone and quiet, I failed to see the benefits. Years of sitting at His feet before anyone can need me has given me the ability to see Him and hear Him when many days I would be prone to missing Him in my moments.

Proverbs 31:15 “She gets up while it is still dark…..”

Does your soul need a little tender, loving care? He waits with open arms. He will never stand us up. He will never disappoint. He is faithful.

One thing every soul needs is time alone with God. Time with His Word. Time to praise Him, time to thank Him, time to confess, time to request.

Time. We all have the same amount. The less time we feel we have to sit quietly before Him, the more reason we have to hide away with Him.

5 Ways To Begin Quiet Time

1. Set your alarm– If you are not in the habit of waking before your family, an alarm will help you to take charge of your time before it takes charge of you. You determine the time to start your day, your day will not determine the time you have.

2. Start small – If you are just beginning to develop a quiet time, begin small and build. Start with 10 minutes. Over time you will find you crave more time with him. You will find it easier and easier to set aside longer stretches of time.

3. Set realistic expectations – Understand that you won’t do it perfectly everyday. Allow yourself grace.  Know that it won’t always happen, but don’t let it thwart your plan. Find time throughout the day, and try again the next day. If your children wake unexpectedly during your alone time, invite them in. Try not to become frustrated (like I have many times), but thank God that they are seeing modeled what it looks like to sneak away with Jesus. Invite them to join you with their own Bible. They can read or look at pictures quietly while you read your Bible, or you can read together. Have them join you in prayer, let them hear how you pour your heart out to Jesus before the day chips into your heart.

4. Have a plan- but be open to the leading of His Spirit. Determine the night before you will get up, have a devotion or bible reading plan you will use. I try not to become too rigid in what I read and study in the morning. Some days I read through Psalms and Proverbs, some days I work on my Bible study lesson, some days I simply pray and meditate on one scripture, some days I read a day of my daily Bible reading plan, some days I read from a devotion. I want to have a plan in place, but I don’t want that plan to become my master. I want to be open to God’s leading through His Word.

5. Set up a place- dedicated for your quiet time. I have a comfortable chair where I can be found every morning at 5:00am (I know that is way too early for most, the time doesn’t matter, just make it a priority). Have everything you will need nearby. I keep a Bible, journal, pen, prayer books, Bible study materials, concordance and Bible dictionary. Of course, I have a blanket and a cup of coffee as well.

Give into the craving of your soul. Spending time alone with God is not a luxurious thought, it is the one thing that will radically change your life.

 

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When Your Child Acts Unloveable, When No One Understands

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I peeked open his door and gazed at his peaceful slumber. I think he is beautiful when he sleeps. His body is in constant motion when awake, so I love to watch him at complete rest.

Then I did what I can only do with him, what would cause my other boys to wake in fight mode. With no warning at all, no gentle back rubs, no sweet good morning whispers, I rolled him fast on his back and dug my chin in hard into the soft of his back, laughing and tickling him with no mercy.

How one can go from the deepest slumber to the deepest of belly laughs, I will never understand. I stopped, and he said, “Again!” We hit the repeat button on this moment each morning. It’s the best way to assure a happy mood from Andrew.

Occasionally, he turns to what we call the “dark side”. It’s a turning of little Anakin Andrew. The good dwells there, but sin lurks and lures with fierce boldness. The good is in constant battle with the dark. It’s there for all of us. We all have a little Anakin in us. Kids just live with their guards down most of the time. We’ve learned to keep our masks on. We all know the good prevails. We must remember good wins in the end.

On my end I had done everything “right” according to all parenting books and best blogs. We had prepared what costume he would wear to school for spirit day. We had it laid out and prepared. We had discussed how the morning would go. I started the morning the way he likes. I gave him plenty of choices so he felt he maintained some control and wasn’t being bossed around. I did everything “they” say to do.

No matter how hard we try, sometimes our best intentions fail us. When a perfect parent day aligns with a perfect kid day, the stars shine bright, the birds sing joyous songs, all looks well in our world. We smile more. We laugh more. The world looks grand. We post it on Facebook. We see the good in the world around us.

There are days one of us brings our A game and the other doesn’t. We meet at the corner of I’m trying and Why Aren’t You. This is the intersection where collisions are common. In my home anyway. That is where I was this morning. Full on collision though I had followed all precautionary rules and road signs.

I heard no birds singing joyous songs. Nothing about this moment would make it on my Facebook page. It was too ugly, and I don’t want to be a whiner. Barking replaced laughing. Scowl replaced smile. The world looked grim, and a 6-year-old looked back at me with defiant eyes that said, “See if you can make me why don’t you.”

Sometimes God gives us what we need the most to need Him the most.

My heavy footsteps marched hard to the whisper, “Lord, help. Lord, help. Please, Lord, help. I can’t parent his personality well.”

A difficult child is a high calling. We must rise up to the challenge. We can’t wallow in defeat. We can’t focus on the difficult task. We must focus on the calling.

Love this child who acts unloveable, which means he needs love that much more. Show this child unconditional love when you feel like pulling back.

This is so hard for me to remember in the heat of battle. My first thoughts are always shameful. My first thoughts are usually the ones that I dare not admit. Therefore, I will confess all the more.

If I don’t take captive my thoughts, they will lead me to despair, self-pity, resentment, and bitterness. I will convince myself that no one understands the challenges I face, the difficult moments I battle. I will say under my breath, or to my poor husband who is forced to listen, “No one understands how hard this is! No one sees how hard I try to understand him and parent him well.”

This is the moment the Holy Spirit intercedes into my negative and sinful thoughts. Yes, there is someone who understands full well. The same one who created you. The same one who created him. The same one who matched you up for my purposes to bring glory to my name. Yes, someone understands.

This is the moment He reminds me that we all face difficult battles and that none of us completely understands the challenges that any of us face. Truly we don’t. But that is what He is there for. He is there to take my burdens and frustrations. He is there to listen to my venting. No one understands our lives fully, do they? But He does.

I release the world from the pressure of understanding me when I realize they don’t need to fully know me because there is One who does fully know me. And He loves me anyway. Despite knowing me full well, He loves me. A mask can’t hide me from Him. My naked heart is laid bare and vulnerable. And that very thought catches the breath in my throat.

In the most difficult moments with my strong-willed child, it’s my own sinful pride that battles hard inside me. It’s that part of me that wants things to be easier, wants things to look a certain way. The part that whispers through clenched teeth to God, “I’m doing everything I’m supposed to do, why isn’t this going the way I want it to?” It’s ugly. So very ugly.

There is no ugly, He can’t wipe clean. There are no words or emotions He can’t redeem.

It’s in the quiet that I understand this all. I rarely see this clearly in the moment. It’s when emotions settle down, when the world begins to resemble calm, when I step back. When I get out of God’s way, I’m able to see.

Filing out of our house, we scrambled late into the car. The trash needed to be moved to the curb, the dog needed to be put up, Zachary couldn’t find his glasses, Andrew forgot his coat. My jaw ached as it had not released its grip just yet.

“Mommy, mommy!” I kept right on moving. Rolling trash cans with Jacob, helping gather missing items. Andrew wouldn’t stop. “Mommy! Mommy! Look, fast!”

With less love in my voice than I care to admit, I snapped, “What Andrew?!?”

“Look, there!”

I looked up, and there it was. A spectacular sunrise. The thing about sunrises, they last but a moment. We must catch a glimpse of the moment and hold tight to the beauty. Faster than I could run to grab my phone, the sun had risen, and the stunning display was gone. I hold onto the beauty I know was there, is there, and will be there again.

Such is this life. Life as mommy. Life as a friend. Life as a wife. Life as a co-worker. Life as anything. The moments come, the moments go, the beauty seems to ebb and flow. It’s an illusion. The beauty is always here because He is always here. We just need eyes to see through the haze. For me it’s usually in hindsight. So I pray each time, Lord, help me see clearer right there in those hazy, crazy moments. Amen.

(Thank you to my sweet, friend, Angela, who let me use the sunrise photo she beautifully captured this morning.)

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Sometimes We Don’t Outgrow Homesick

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I was given a gift of a trip to New York last weekend with my mom, sister, and niece. After an incredibly busy fall, I was longing for a break, a bit of an escape. New York is definitely not a place of rest. In fact, it’s the exact opposite for me. It’s vibrant, alive, electric and eclectic, bright, loud, full of variety, and an overload to the senses. All in all, it’s an exciting place to be.

No matter where I go, it doesn’t take long for me to feel homesick.

I was the kid at the sleepover that woke the sleeping parents begging them to call my mom at midnight to come get me. Somehow I would receive an invitation again, but the pattern would repeat. Each time I promised to be braver, stronger. I would lie in my friend’s bed staring at the ceiling- this ball of nerves tightly knotted in my stomach. I’d tell myself that everything was ok, just go to sleep. The longer I stared at the ceiling, the bigger the fear monster grew. I’d shoot out of the bed, run to my friend’s parents’ room, tap-tap-tap their sleeping shoulders, and whisper, “Can you please call my mom? I want to go home.”

I’d arrive home, jump into bed, and run my hands across the sheets that wrapped me in familiar. It’s not that I was scared of something bad happening. I knew no monsters were under my friend’s bed. I knew her parents were safe and loved me. I just longed for home when I wasn’t home.

I’m 38 years old, and I still long for home when I’m not home. Yet even when I’m home, I find I long for home still. A home that never ends. A home that fulfills every longing I could ever dream up. A home that never fails, never disappoints. A home that is never sick, never dies. A home from which joy flows effortlessly. A home where peace reigns.

6:05 am Friday morning my flight left Charlotte on its way to NYC. An hour and a half later we landed, and that slightly familiar twinge began to prick at my heart. The one that reminded me I wasn’t home. The one that longed to be home. I had an amazing time on my weekend away and wouldn’t change a second of it. But the entire time I was away, I had that feeling. The one that longed for home.

I called Steve to check on everyone and told him how much I missed home. “Renee, please enjoy this time away. Don’t focus so much on what’s going on at home, that you ruin your trip. Besides once you are home for 5 minutes, we will be driving you crazy again, so enjoy being away.”

I hung up with a chuckle in my heart. It’s true. Sometimes the space makes us long for home more. Sometimes the space is what we need to see what we treasure most.

Sometimes.

Even when I’m home with my husband and my boys, there is this subtle aching. This little voice that whispers to me about home. My true home.

It’s so easy for me to get caught up in life. Daily life. This family right here in front of me. We build our home, we build up our kids, we build our marriage, we build our 401K, we build our future.

More exciting than all that we build is what is being built for us. The home we will spend eternity in.

Investing in this earthly home is important. It’s necessary. Much of what we invest in here, is an investment towards our eternal home. Not a gaining of an eternal home, but a placing of our treasures into that home where we will spend forever.

Investing in my marriage, I’m placing my treasures into the home I’ll spend forever after death. Investing in the spiritual growth of my children, I’m placing treasures in the home I’ll spend forever after death. Investing in my 401K, it’s important, but it’ll burn. It’ll be eaten away and devoured. It won’t make it into the treasury of my eternal home.

When my van pulled into the driveway, my husband, boys, and the dog were all waiting to greet me. They rushed at me with arms opened wide. They showered me with hugs and kisses and told me of all the ways they missed me. They toured me through the house they spent hours cleaning.

Home. Home felt so good in that moment. The hours leading up to bed, I adjusted back to home. And it felt good. When my head hit the pillow, that little achy whisper began to speak. “This feels good. This is home for now. But just wait for the home I have in store for you.” That little ache reminded me that this home feels good, but there is a home that is beyond my wildest dreams. No mind has ever conceived what He has planned for us.

I long for that home.

As we enter the new year, it’s natural to set goals, make dreams, and set our sights on what we want. What I want most this year are eyes to see Him in my every moment. A heart that beats for Him with each second. Ears to hear His whispers over the noise. And a life that invests in my eternal home.

I want my life invested in treasures that don’t burn. Home. True home. True rest.

[box] Psalm 119:169-176 MSG “Let my cry come right into your presence, God; provide me with the insight that comes only from your Word. Give my request your personal attention, rescue me on the terms of your promise. Let praise cascade off my lips; after all, you’ve taught me the truth about life! And let your promises ring from my tongue; every order you’ve given is right. Put your hand out and steady me since I’ve chosen to live by your counsel. I’m homesick, God, for your salvation; I love it when you show yourself! Invigorate my soul so I can praise you well, use your decrees to put iron in my soul. And should I wander off like a lost sheep—seek me! I’ll recognize the sound of your voice.”[/box]

[box] Psalm 119:81 MSG “I’m homesick—longing for your salvation; I’m waiting for your word of hope.”[/box]

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A Letter To My Boys – The Real Reason I Say No To Electronics

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[box] While I’m taking a blogging break, I will be posting some of my favorite posts from 2014. Happy New Years![/box]

This is a repost of the most popular post of 2014. I posted in January and again in May.

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Dear Boys,

Do you remember the day we went to the drugstore and the lady said, “Wow, you are the first kids I’ve seen all day with nothing in your hands.” Remember how she marveled at how you didn’t need an electronic device to carry through the store? I know how her words made you feel. I know how it reminded you that you are different because your mom limits your electronic usage. I know it was yet another reminder.

The same reminder you receive when we are out to eat and you notice all the kids playing their phones and iPads instead of talking to their parents. I know it was a reminder of all the sporting events where you feel you are the only kids whose parents are making them cheer on their siblings rather than burying themselves in a phone. I know it was another reminder to you that you feel different in this electronic age we live in.

Well, boys, it’s not you. It’s me. Me being selfish maybe. You see I can’t bear to miss a moment with you. Let me explain.

I want to talk to you when we are out to eat. I want to listen to your questions. I want to have training opportunities. I want to allow space for conversation that can take us deeper. And if you are always distracted with electronics, well… I might miss those moments.
I could give you all the statistics about how damaging it is to your development, your attention span, your ability to learn. While all of those are valid reasons to keep electronics away, that is not my primary reason why I say no to you so much. It’s more than that. Much more. I need you to understand this.

When we are together, I want all of you. The fullness of you. I want to experience you. Truly experience you. And I can’t do that with you when there is an electronic device between us. You see it acts as a barrier. I want to see what brings life to those eyes. I want to watch the wonder and magic dance across your face as you discover the wonders of this world. I want to watch you as you figure things out. I want to watch you process life, develop your thoughts. I want to know you. I want to know your passions. I want to watch you as you discover your God-given talents and gifts. And when you hide behind a screen, I miss out on all of that. And my time with you….well it will be over in the blink of an eye.

I want to guide you into an understanding of life and who you are. Boys, kids today are starved for attention, true connection and relationship. I don’t want you to feel starved. That is why I say no. I know that feeding the desire to play in your device is like giving you candy. It satisfies for a moment but provides no long term nutrition. It does more harm than good.

I don’t want to look back when I’m out of the trenches of child training and regret a second I had with you. I don’t want to merely survive. I want to thrive in this life with you. We are in it together. We are a family.

Yes, when we are waiting at a doctor’s office for an hour, it would be easier to quiet you with my phone. But if I did that, I fear I would send you a message that says I’d rather hush you than hear those precious words falling from your lips.

I can’t bear the thought of allowing you to miss out on the wonders and mysteries of this world. When you are transfixed on a screen, the beauty of this world will be lost to you. In every moment beauty is waiting to be discovered. I don’t want you to miss it.

I want you to be comfortable with yourself. I want you not to feel a constant need to be entertained and distracted. If you stay behind a screen, you never have to experience just being you, alone with your thoughts. I want you to learn to think, to ponder life, to make discoveries, to create. You have been gifted by God in unique ways. I want those to bloom. They can’t bloom in the glow of a screen. They need life, real life, to bring them to light.

I want you to be confident in who you are. I want you to be able to look people in the eyes and speak life into them. If I allow you to live behind a screen, you get little practice relating eye to eye. To truly know someone you have to look into their eyes. It’s a window into their heart. You see what can’t be seen in cyberspace.

When I tell you no to devices, I’m giving you a gift. And I’m giving me a gift. It’s a gift of relationship. True human connection. It’s precious and a treasure. And you mean so much to me that I don’t want to miss a second of it.

I love how God created your mind. I love to hear the way you think and process life. I love to see what makes you laugh. I love to watch those eyes widen when a new discovery is made. And when your head is behind a screen, I miss all of that. And so do you.
In this life we have few cheerleaders. In this family we will cheer each other on. I know it is boring to sit at swim lessons and watch your brother learn to swim. I know it is boring to sit through a 2 hour baseball practice. And in all honesty, it would be easy for me to give you the iPad and keep you quiet and occupied. But we all lose out when we do that. You will miss out on watching your brother’s new accomplishments. You will deprive him of the joy of his moment to shine for you. You will miss out on what it means to encourage each other.

I want you to grow up knowing the world doesn’t revolve around you. (One day your wife will thank me) I want you to learn to give selflessly of yourself….to give away your time, your talents, your treasures. If I distract you with electronics when you should be cheering for your brother, well, I’m simply telling you that your happiness is more important than giving your time to someone other than yourself.

This world needs more selflessness. This world needs more connection. This world needs more love. We can’t learn these behind a screen.

I want to raise sons that know how to look deeply into the eyes of the ones they love. I want my future daughters in law to know what it’s like to have a husband that looks deeply into her eyes because he knows the value of human relationships and the treasure of love. And that is best communicated eye to eye.

I want to watch your face illuminated by the majesty of life – not the glow of a screen. I want all of you. Because I only have you for a short while. When you pack up and leave for college, I want to look back with no regrets over the time I spent with you. I want to look back and remember how your eyes sparkled when we talked. I want to look back and remember how I actually knew those little quirky details of your life because we had time enough to be bored together.

It’s ok to be bored. We can be bored together. And we can discover new things together.

I love you. I love you too much to quiet you with an iPhone or an iPad or a DS. And I can’t even apologize, because I’m really not sorry. I’m doing this so that I won’t be sorry one day.

With all my love,
Mom

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A Backwards New Year’s Resolution

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I’m not a huge fan of New Year’s Resolutions. I am not opposed to making healthy changes or setting goals. I just don’t want to wait for a certain day on the calendar to tell me that is the day to make a change.

More than anything I feel like the New Year can be one more way we have to try harder. One more way we look at what we did the year before and think, ‘That’s not good enough. This year I will work harder, try more, dig deeper, be happier.” I’m not saying we don’t need to evaluate our life and make changes. Of course, we do. We should always be learning, growing, and changing. However, what I find is that many of us are searching for the one thing we are missing. So we think, “This year I will try harder. I will find joy. I will find peace. I will…..”

Many times we end up trying too hard in our search for more of what we want more than anything in the world.

The try hard life is exhausting. The grace covered life revives the soul.

The try hard life reminds us of our failures. The grace covered life tells us ‘It is finished.’

Like every year, I will not be making a New Year’s Resolution. Actually, maybe I’m making a backwards resolution. As we kick off the start of a fresh year, I surrender to the try hard life. I raise my hands high. I open my hands to His daily grace.

All I want this year is more of Him. More of His moment by moment Presence. I want eyes wider to see Him in each moment He graces to me. I want to wear grace tinted glasses so in all the minutes that I encounter, I can’t help but see Him in it.

May I suggest you release yourself of the pressure to set a New Year’s Resolution this year? Instead open yourself to His grace. Surrender your will to His. Surrender your plans to His. Then get ready to experience the life you’ve never imagined in ways you can’t fathom. When He is in it, you can’t help but change. And the person He will grow you into, you could never achieve on your own.

So today, I am thankful for a fresh start. But this fresh start doesn’t only come once a year. It’s available every day. Every moment. All we have to do is raise our hands and surrender. Let go of trying harder. Let Him do the work.

My life verse

[box] “Cease striving and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalm 46:10[/box]

[box] “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:22-23[/box]

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Know Your Enemy

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[box] While I’m taking a blogging break, I will be posting some of my favorite posts from 2014. Happy New Years![/box]

This is a repost from March 2014. To see the original post, click here.

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One arm holding the banister rail, one foot resting on the first step, he turned to me with eyes I didn’t recognize. The eyes that looked back at me were armed with daggers of anger, rage, and pent-up emotions. His shoulders held tight the tension running through his veins. His stance, his eyes, they froze me. In that moment I felt helplessly at a loss for words.

I was unable to speak. In the silence, with angry eyes glaring back at me, I heard a whisper. A whisper that soothed the burn of the daggers. “You are not fighting against your child. You are fighting FOR MY child. This battle is not yours. This battle is mine. Now pray.”

If you can pray with no words, I did in that moment. I don’t know what happened. My normal reaction would have been to feel angry, hurt, and to fight back hard. I would have demanded respect and demanded he see it my way. Because I’m the parent, and I know best, of course. In that moment the kindness of my Father saved me from myself and destruction. He covered my mouth with his gentle hand while giving me new eyes to see the battle at hand and softening my heart to feel compassion for my child at war. A war he doesn’t even really know exists. A war I know all too well.

This battle is a familiar dance to me. The music plays a different melody, and the moves may change from time to time. I need to recognize Who I’m dancing with and who is trying to cut in uninvited.

With grace given by God in that moment, I responded to those dangerous eyes that threatened rebellion, “Can you write for me what you are feeling? Write out what thoughts are going through your mind. Write anything and everything that comes to mind.”
4 words can sink a heart. “It will hurt you.”

Swallowing hard, drawing on the strength of His wings covering me, I met his gaze. “It’s ok. Just write exactly what you are feeling. Even if you think it will hurt me. It’s ok.”

He shrugged as his eyes seemed to say, “Ok, whatever.” And he turned and walked away.

I wondered about words I had spoken as a child that inflicted pain to the heart of my parents. I wondered how old I was when they felt what I’m feeling. I wondered how they got through it because they weren’t christians. How do parents make it when they don’t have Christ to cling to?

I watched as he wrote away, effortlessly. He didn’t lack for words. They seemed to flow naturally onto the paper. I never left the protection of His wings. They sheltered me and prepared me for the words I would read.

He laid the pen down, met my eyes, and I saw tenderness had replaced much of the anger. “Mom, are you sure you want to read this?”

“Yes.”

“Ok!” And he skipped away and began playing as if nothing had ever happened. Meanwhile, I held the paper in my hand asking God for wisdom. Then I read. The words were shocking. Sort of. It was so extreme and so bizarre that satan couldn’t deny he was playing a game here. He was full on battling for my child. In that moment I experienced something I had never experienced before. Emotions washed over me like a waterfall. I did not read those words and feel hurt or defensive. I read those words and ached for my child. I felt such compassion for him in that moment that I couldn’t contain it and ran right over to him in the midst of being surrounded by people and hugged him tight. He gave a half-smile, “Mom, seriously?” Those emotions did not come from me. They came from the giver of life, peace, and true joy.

“Thank you for being honest with me. Thank you for loving me enough to be honest even if you thought it would hurt me. I’m not hurt. I know exactly how to pray now. Thank you for sharing this,” I said to him. He just skipped away. But I knew better. I know how this game works. I know the enemy wanted me to think that is all there is to this little battle and we could go on our merry ways. He’s sly like that. He is a liar. And he will stop at nothing. John 10:10 “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”

I claim it. I claim the full life found only in Christ for my children.

I walked through my house with a confidence I couldn’t create on my own. This is war, and I know who wins in the end. And I know who loses. I felt rage like I hadn’t felt. It’s one thing to attack me, but don’t mess with my kids. The enemy attacks with the precision of any good military attack. He strikes hard and fast, hitting multiple targets with one launch. He seeks to destroy and to kill. His attacks aimed at the church strike hard at the family. When the family falls, churches begin to crumble.

So I listened to the One leading this battle. I prayed. I prayed in every room of my house. I prayed Ephesians 6: 10-18. I used the name of Jesus out loud because I know it causes the enemy to tremble and flee. He runs and cowers at the name of Jesus. And I freely used that power. I turned on scripture music and let it ring loud.

And then I rested on the bed of my child in the midst of a war he can’t see and is too young to understand. So I tried to break it down.
“I’m going to read to you a story you know all too well. But I want you to see something else in it this time. It’s David and Goliath. Imagine you are David. Your goliath is negative emotions you don’t understand. Your goliath is this anger you don’t understand. Your goliath is this turmoil in your heart you wrote about. Imagine all of that standing as a huge giant in front of you, towering over you. It’s hurling threats and telling you how you should feel. But how did David respond?”
His eyes held mine as he listened.

“David responded with a full faith and confidence in God. You see David realized he was a little guy against a big giant. But it didn’t matter. You know why? Because God was on David’s side and not Goliath’s side. David knew that nothing Goliath hurled at him would matter. Because when you battle against God, you lose. David knew who battled for him.”

“Listen to God’s Word. 1 Sam 7: 45-47 “David said to the Philistine, ‘You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the LORD Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. This day the LORD will hand you over to me, and I’ll strike you down and cut off your head. Today I will give the carcasses of the Philistine army to the birds of the air and the beasts of the earth, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel. All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the Lord saves; for the battle is the LORD’S, and he will give all of you into our hands.”

“Honey, God has special plans for you. Jeremiah 29:11. The enemy knows this and he’s messing with you. He is lying to you and trying to make you believe lies. I want you to stand firm against him. As a christian we have nothing to fear from the enemy. We are covered by the blood of Christ. We KNOW who wins the final battle. We will stand in Heaven one day and it will all be over. But until then the enemy will continue to mess with us. He wants to find a crack in our armor. But you must never be scared because he can’t harm you. You are protected by God. There is no greater protection than that. Pray always to be wise to the lies of the enemy. Pray for God to increase your faith moment by moment so you can stand like David stood, knowing who fights for you.”

I walked out of the room knowing this isn’t the end. The enemy will always battle for souls. He knows his days are numbered, so he will fight hard til the end. Until that day comes, I will fight back harder, using only prayer and faith. I know I can win. Because “one little word can fell him.”

[box]

A Mighty Fortress Is Our God

Martin Luther

And though this world, with devils filled, should threaten to undo us, We will not fear, for God hath willed His truth to triumph through us: The Prince of Darkness grim, we tremble not for him; His rage we can endure, for lo, his doom is sure, One little word shall fell him. That word above all earthly powers, no thanks to them, abideth; The Spirit and the gifts are ours through Him Who with us sideth: Let goods and kindred go, this mortal life also; The body they may kill: God’s truth abideth still, His kingdom is forever.[/box]

[box] If you enjoyed today’s post, consider subscribing here to receive posts via email. You will receive a free Christmas ornament download that accompanies Seeking Christmas – Finding the True Meaning Through Family Traditions.[/box]

What Our Kids Really Want Is A Mom Who Can Be More And Do Less

/in /by

[box] While I’m taking a blogging break, I will be posting some of my favorite posts from 2014. Happy New Years![/box]

This is a repost from September 2014. To see the original post, click here.

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If I stayed inside the house one more minute, I might seriously explode. Every time I turned around, a new mess called out to me. Every room I entered reminded me of something left undone. The soles of my feet were coated in crumbs from a floor in desperate need of attention.

Room to room I bit my tongue from lashing out. It was safer to keep my mouth closed because the anxiety in my heart threatened to spew on the ones I loved. No one tried to approach me. In fact, it seemed everyone in my home wanted to avoid me. The look on my face told them I was not happy with the state of the house, the noise level, the chaos. And when mama’s not happy, well….. it just gets ugly.

Running through my head were all the things I needed to do, all the people needing something from me, all the things I was supposed to have done last week, all the thoughts of what people must think, all the ways I’m failing, all the ways I can try to keep up. A serious boxing match was going on inside my head. I had to step out of the ring. I needed fresh air.

Grabbing a book and a blanket, I headed to the backyard. I collapsed on my back and stared at the sky for a few minutes. The clouds moved in a hypnotizing motion as I breathed deep of the breeze. Everything that seemed so pressing only moments before seemed to fade away. Moving away with the clouds.

My heart rate slowed, my breathing slowed. All the anxiety that held my shoulders so tightly began to dissipate. I prayed. I thanked. I asked.

I tried not to stress about what the kids were doing inside the house. I tried not to think of what I would walk into when I reentered the walls of our home.

The screen door slammed, the grass crunched under his feet as he made his way to my blanket. His 10-year-old body cast a shadow over my face as he stood over me, allowing me to open my eyes to see him.

“Hi, mom, can I read with you?”

“I’d love that.”

We sat and read. We only had about 15 minutes, but it was glorious. It was all I needed to regain my composure and be the mom I wanted to be.

My stillness drew my boy back to me. My stillness draws me closer to my Father.

My anxiety, the pressure I put on myself, pushed my kids away from me. When I stopped, when I walked away, when I slowed down, they drew back to me.

My kids don’t want a spotless house. They want an available mom. My kids don’t want a completed task list. They want to complete a board game. My kids don’t want a perfectly scheduled week. They want a spontaneous tickling match.

When my kids are grown, I don’t want them to remember me being grumpy because I was trying to achieve the unachievable. Or impress the unimpressible.

The reality is the life of a mom is hard. What is harder is the pressure we moms put on ourselves. The expectations we place on us are unachievable. The guilt of what we aren’t, the guilt of what we can’t do, the guilt of what we should’ve done only increases the fight to do more, try harder. It’s an endless, vicious cycle.

The only way to break the cycle is to pull out completely. Escape to fresh air to clear the head. To see the beauty right here.
You remember I said I have a little rebel that lives inside of me? The rebel is rearing its head again.

I need more stillness. I need more slow. My family needs me to be still more than they need me to be supermom. My family needs me to slow down more than they need me to set records for accomplishing more in a day than humanly possible.

Yesterday was mine and Steve’s 14 year anniversary. As he thought what I would like most for our anniversary, he decided it was time with him and time with God. At 5 am he woke with me, and we headed to the coffee maker. Coffee and Bibles we sat together and prayed for our marriage. Steve had done his homework and came prepared with a list of verses on marriage. We read them to each other.

That started my day slow. And still. The rest of the day I focused on doing what was necessary but allowing room for spontaneous. And when I tucked the boys into bed, I sat on the couch. This is unheard of in my house because I don’t watch tv. Ever. But the rebel in me decided I needed a break.

I did something radical. I watched a movie. (Mom’s Night Out…..highly recommend). This after a chain reaction of simple decisions through the day that turned out to be exactly what I needed. And it turned out to be one of the best days I can remember in the longest time. A lot of letting go. A lot of lowering the bar of my own expectations.

For the most part, I live in a constant state of doing. If I have free time, I will do something productive. Every minute of every day is filled with something. In the course of a day, I rarely, rarely, rarely do something just for fun. I rarely do something that has no purpose. Everything I do has a purpose and accomplishes something. And I’m tired. So I’m ushering in more stillness.

Life as a mom can look crazy ugly and crazy beautiful at the exact same moment. Being a mom is a high calling. High callings come at a high price.

When I stop doing, I start seeing. The doing will always be available. The seeing changes. I don’t want to miss seeing what is here to see right this very moment.

I want to be the wife of my husband’s dreams. I want to be the mom of my boys’ dreams. And what they want more than a beautiful home, gourmet meals, perfectly planned outings, and accomplished looking days is simply me. Doing less and being more.

[box] Psalm 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.[/box]

[box] If you enjoyed today’s post, consider subscribing here to receive posts via email. You will receive a free Christmas ornament download that accompanies Seeking Christmas – Finding the True Meaning Through Family Traditions.[/box]