Testing has begun. Boundaries are being tested.
I laid out a shirt for him. “No” 10 minutes later he was downstairs in a shirt he brought with him. I let it go. Not worth the battle. He requested a movie. No problem we had time for a short movie before we needed to leave the house. After the movie ended he wanted another. When I told him no, he pouted and was very upset to be told no.
He wanted to go to the park, so we went to the park. He wanted to play soccer, so Steve took the boys to play soccer. He wanted McDonalds, so we had that for lunch. He got lots of yes responses through the day. But when he got the “no’s”, things didn’t fly so smoothly.
The day was likely very overwhelming for him. And he is trying to figure it all out. And he doesn’t know how to process emotions like we do. Every interaction with him must go through a different filter.
He wanted to go to the park after dark. I said no and offered 2 fun alternatives inside.
“Hmmph!” He sharply turned his head away from me and wouldn’t look at me. When I finally convinced him to join us in the family room, he did so, but covered his body (including his head) with a blanket and pouted. He basically shut down the rest of the night. I sat right next to him for as long as I could.
We asked him to come upstairs to get ready for bed, which he did, but he did it all silently. At night he has been playing his Latvian audio bible, a gift from us that he loves. While he was brushing his teeth, I started the player for him. He climbed into bed and immediately turned it off and turned his back to me. But he is a hurting child, and we will show him love with firm boundaries and consistent actions.
Steve went upstairs to check on everyone after they had been tucked into bed about 10 minutes. His Latvian audio bible was playing. And he was sound asleep.
You could hear Latvian all the way downstairs he had the volume up so loud. I looked at Jacob and Zachary laying in their beds while Viktors lay sound asleep. “Boys, is that bothering you?”
With 100% genuine sincerity, in unison, they said, “Oh no!” “It’s perfectly fine, Mom.”
And my heart grew another couple of sizes.
My children have amazed me through this process. I’m seeing parts of their hearts I’ve never seen before. True compassion. True concern. True selflessness. True sacrifice.
They have less of me. A lot less. They have less of Steve. Yet not once have they shown the slightest bit of jealousy or concern for their own needs. When Viktors pouts and behaves childishly they don’t ridicule him or imitate his behaviors. They feel his pain. And they simply show him love.