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How do you handle when someone else gets what you want?

Have you worked so hard on a project only to watch someone else receive credit for the work hours you labored through?

Have you watched a co-worker receive a promotion you felt was undeserved? Maybe you wonder if the powers in charge realize how much time she wastes on Facebook on company time?

Have you poured your heart and soul into a career path only to watch others receive what you can’t seem to reach no matter how hard you work?

Have you done all the “right” things but can’t seem to catch a break?

Depending on our mindset, if we aren’t careful, our thoughts can lead us to grow bitter heart roots. At the very root is often envy and jealousy. I recently listened to a devotion on the Abide app on healing from jealousy. I shared this, which I heard on this app, on Instagram. “At the root of jealousy is the belief that God is not good. It says ‘If God is good why won’t he give me what he’s giving other people.’”

Jealousy leads to bitterness.

I attended a convention recently where the keynote speaker, Bob Heilig, gave this challenge. Get better not bitter.

If you follow me on Instagram and my personal Facebook page, you know I’m passionate about proactive, natural health, particularly gut health. I spend a good deal of time corresponding with people who reach out to me. I send videos, ingredient sheets, testimonies, basically whatever they are requesting. This typically leads to the person deciding to try what I’m suggesting or deciding it’s not for them right now. Occasionally, something else happens.

At times I spend time answering all the questions and helping them however I can for them to respond something like this. “Thanks so much! I have another friend who does this so I ordered through her.” When I first started, this drove me bonkers. I wondered if they didn’t understand that I get paid commissions and bonuses but not a salary.

Recently, I experienced this scenario with a twist.

Turn vent session into prayer session

When the person thanked me for all my time and help and informed me they reached out to a friend they knew who represented my company, I felt immediate disappointment. I vented for a minute then prayed. I’m working on praying out my vents to God so He can speak to me in the middle of the feelings and thoughts I need help with.

My prayer went a little like this: “Ok, God, I’m super frustrated. You know how much time I spent and how I’ve prayed to help more people. She wanted help and now I feel I wasted that time that could have been helping others I could continue working with toward their health goals.”

Immediately Bob Heilig’s words popped in my head, “Get better not bitter.”

“God, don’t let me grow bitter roots. Thank you for all the people you’ve brought my way. And I pray blessings over this person and the friend she will work with. I pray blessings over her business. Thank you that with you there is always more than enough.”

God steered my thoughts instantly by showing me a picture of a gal like me. One who is praying big goals and big dreams. He showed me I don’t know the whole story.  He reminded me that He loves me and cares for me, and that is enough.

He is enough.

The company I’m part of is unlike anything I’ve experienced. The culture is of true oneness with generosity at the very core.

If I had stayed frustrated and focused on the negative, no good would come from that. What we focus on expands. I heard this multiple times at convention. I find it true in my life. When I focus on what I don’t get, my feeling of lack only grows. But when I focus on gratitude, my joy increases.

After my vent turned prayer session with God, I walked away feeling free and light. I felt true joy, true happiness. I didn’t have to carry the burden of jealousy and bitterness in my heart. I was free to walk hand in hand with God knowing He is for me not against me. He is the giver of all good things to all His children. And I really love that about Him.

 

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Dear Boys, When You Compare What You Get For Christmas To What Someone Else Gets

ContentmentChristmas

“Most people, if they had really learned to look into their own hearts, would know that they do want, and want acutely, something that cannot be had in this world. There are all sorts of things in this world that offer to give it to you, but they never quite keep their promise.”CS Lewis, Mere Christianity

Dear Boys,

It happens every year, and this year will be no different. Or the years following for that matter. Or your whole life even. Actually, as you get older and become an adult, you will still struggle with this – it will just look different.

Christmas morning you wake up to find surprises that delight. You spend hours admiring your new gifts and falling in love with these treasures that now belong to you. You find the perfect spot to keep them safe. Throughout the day you go back time and time again to play with or admire  your toys or gifts. You love your new gifts. Really love them! Until…..

Until the phone call, visit, or hanging with friends or family when you hear their list of gifts received. The stack of books you treasured moments before begin to lose their appeal. The new basketball you wanted for months suddenly pales in comparison to the new iPod someone else received. That new art set you slightly push aside in embarrassment because it isn’t as exciting as the laptop someone else received. You blush as you listen to the list someone shares with you about all the gifts they received, and you shy away from sharing what you received.

Your 5 gifts or 10 gifts or 15 gifts will always be outdone by someone else. If you receive 5, someone else will always receive 6 or 7 or 10. If you receive 10, someone else will always receive 11, 12, or 18. If you receive a pair of rollerblades you’ve always wanted, someone else will always receive a better pair. If you receive a new bat bag, someone else will always receive a better one filled with brand new equipment.

Someone will always have more. Someone will always have better. But that is not the goal of life- to have more and better than anyone else. When you begin to understand this, you are on your way to discovering the secret path to joy God has laid out for you.

His Word is a treasure map. He is the treasure we ultimately seek. In Him is found everything our hearts could ever desire. Along the hunt, we tend to forget this. Sometimes we take a path and believe the treasure is elsewhere. We begin to hunt for what appears to be treasure, but it’s not. It’s counterfeit. It’s all along the trail though. So you have to learn to know the difference in the true treasure and the counterfeit.

This journey is exciting.

I want to tell you first, that it is normal to compare what you have to what others have. It’s happened since the beginning of time. The problem is what happens when you begin to entertain these thoughts. Envy, jealousy, discontentment, lack of joy, begin to find a spot in your heart. Spots that are reserved for contentment, gratitude, and joy. Spots God wants held for His Presence.

Comparison is a robber. It’s a joy robber. Along that treasure map are robbers hiding behind trees and bushes. They don’t want you to reach the treasure, they want to steal your joy so that you forget what you are truly searching for. Comparison does this. It takes your eyes off what you have and what you are thankful for and tells you there is something better out there. It tells you that if you have that one thing, you will be happy. Once you reach this one spot on the map, you will finally discover joy. Listen, boys, this is a great lie. And we all fall into its trap from time to time. Stay the course on your treasure map. Don’t let the comparison robber take from you what God wants you to possess.

Comparison kills contentment. Jealousy fills the spot contentment once held. Jealously is the joy thief that puts you on the path to never satisfied.

It’s a tricky thing our enemy does. He is always looking for ways to get our eyes off of God and onto something else. Stuff, toys, games, these are easy things he can use to tempt us to think this is the way to happiness and fulfillment.

Christmas is an easy time of the year the enemy can use this tactic against us.

If you got everything on the list that someone else received, it would satisfy for a moment only. Eventually, it would wear off and leave you wanting more. The more you have, the more you want. It’s a cycle. Underneath this desire for more stuff, better stuff, or what someone else has is a hole that God created in you to be filled by Him and Him alone.

Most of the world doesn’t know this secret. I want you to know this is the key to unlocking the clue that will lead you straight to the real treasure.

You see the people who seem to have more than you, they have the same desires you have. And they look at someone else’s stuff and feel they don’t compare. They too, lose gratitude for what they have as they place their eyes on the ones who have more.

Here’s part of the secret. People don’t go around talking about stuff like this. So you will feel these feelings, and you will think something is wrong with you for feeling this way. I want you to understand nothing is wrong with you. This is human nature. But it’s not God’s nature. I want you to learn to differentiate between the real, true, 100% treasure and the counterfeit version.

The fake treasure will make you happy temporarily, but it leaves you wanting more. The hole that it tried to fill in your heart, it will actually grow bigger. But that hole was intentionally created in you. It was placed there for a purpose. To be filled by God and only God. He is the only thing that satisfies that longing in us. That is the true longing. It’s for full satisfaction, which only comes from Him.

God created a heart in you that has deep longings and desires. The world will tell you it can fill those desires by giving you everything on your Christmas wish list. Or it will tell you if you have what they got, you will be happy. Don’t believe those half-truths. It’s only temporary. He is eternal.

Here’s the secret I really want you to know. If you are constantly filling up that hole in your heart with His truth and His Word, there is no hole to fill with the stuff the world will tempt you to use to fill that hole! You will be full and satisfied. You will have found joy and contentment in Him, which means you won’t be looking for it elsewhere. You will see the world around you on treasure hunts. Don’t follow their trails. Stay on the path God has placed you on. It’s the only one that leads to the real treasure.

After Christmas when you find yourself tempted by these feelings, pause and ask God to redirect your thoughts and to guide your heart towards truth.

Psalm 37:4 Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

The true desires of your heart aren’t for toys, games, clothes, and stuff. The true desires are for Him.

1 Timothy 6:6 Yet true godliness with contentment is itself great wealth.

1 Thessalonians 5:18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

Merry Christmas, my boys. May it be filled with the hope, love, peace, and joy found only in Him.

 

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