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Trusting God with a perfectly failed plan

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Of all this year challenged me with, the one that stands out most is the thought of how much I actually trust God. When circumstances make zero sense or simply don’t follow the plan I hoped for, how quick am I to reach toward frustration? This year exposed the impatience which dwells in me.

The last day of the year can hold a tinge of pressure as we look back and assess the last 365 days.

  • Did we learn anything?
  • Did we grow?
  • Did we reach our goals?
  • Did we grieve our losses well?
  • Did we heal?
  • Did we forgive?
  • Did we achieve?
  • Did we strengthen our faith?

As I typically do when the year draws to a close, I’m reflecting on what I’ve learned.

For Christmas this year, we gifted our boys with a trip instead of material gifts. We’ve done this several times over the years. This time we flew out the day after Christmas to enjoy five days in Arizona. While soaking in the Arizona sun, the Lord began showing me  some similarities in how I plan trips with how I attempt to plan my life.

Intentionality is important to me. Without intention, so much is at risk for loss and waste. Missed opportunities and time escaping before our eyes. The tagline of my blog is “Inspiring & encouraging you to live with intentional purpose.” I parent this way. Attempting to make the most of the brief time the Lord allows to raise these boys, to create as many memories and experiences as time permits.

Trip planning is one of my favorites. In fact, one of my dream jobs is a travel agent. I love to travel, but I love to plan almost as much. I love the hours and hours I spend searching for the perfect house to rent or hotel to book. I love planning the itinerary, deciding what to do and plotting out the logistics to fitting it all in perfectly. If given as a gift, I become giddy with excitement imagining the creative ways to present the gift and the looks of excitement to come.

I spend more time than necessary planning trips because I’m reaching towards perfection the entire time. I want the experience to be the absolute best it could possibly be. Perfection has been a battle my entire life. I’ve learned it’s not something I will overcome once and for all. It loves to rear its head in various forms.

I’ve shared about this in Illuminate – Seeing God by the Light of His Word. 

“I strove to prove myself worthy, to validate my roles and positions, to find identity in all the wrong places, even as a believer. In my personal quest for perfection, I created idols – idols of family, ministry, home, and work. I worshiped at the altar of Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest, or words of encouragement from the ones I served. In my strive for perfection, I could at times leave no room for the perfect God because I worked too hard to be my own god.”

God often speaks to me through story. I want to share a story with you from our recent trip and how God brought me right back to  the question, “Do you trust me?”

Follow with me along this story. I’ll point out roadblocks, provision points, expectation + gratitude moments, disappointment, and ultimately the decision to trust God no matter what, even if I never know why. Yes, it’s through the story of a trip plan gone wrong, but God often speaks to me the deeper questions and answers through the experiences in my life He walks me through. I hope He speaks to you here as well.

For our Arizona trip, I planned two golf outings, three hikes, much shopping/eating/exploring, and the once in a lifetime, bucket list excursion in a hot air balloon.

Finding and deciding on which hot air balloon ride took a couple of hours on the internet. I read all I could find on the most reputable companies. In the process, I found a Groupon special for the company I chose to book with. I tried no less than ten times to complete the purchase through Groupon, but each time the site timed out on me and refused to process the transaction. (Roadblock #1) (Frustration #1)

The Groupon special offered savings worth a couple hundred dollars. I emailed the hot air balloon company explaining the situation. She immediately responded what a great price it was and offered to match the Groupon price for us when we booked direct through their site. That’s when I discovered the hidden blessing in the frustrations of a site not working. Groupon required full payment and no refund for cancelled excursion. It’s the risk you take to save hundreds of dollars. Booking direct through the company offered zero risk. You paid after the balloon flight and nothing in the event of cancellation due to weather circumstances. (Provision #1)(Gratitude #1)

Road block #1  +  provision #1 = Foreshadow #1

I could not WAIT to see the boys’ expressions when they discovered this gift. I ordered a handpainted ornament through the company. It was painted with a desert scene and a picture of the hot air ballon. This is how we would tell them what we planned to do with them, plus we would have the reminder on the tree each year going forward of an incredible experience of a lifetime. (Expectations)

I ordered the ornament weeks before Christmas, yet it never arrived. Tracking information showed it began the journey toward us the day I ordered and spent weeks in a postal facility in Denver, CO. (Frustration #2)

Christmas morning, rather than the expected moment of opening a handpainted ornament, we simply showed them the website and explained the gift. (Expectations, Disappointment, Gratitude all intertwined) (Foreshadow #2)

Our excursion was booked for Day 3 of the trip. It was a sunset ride lifting off at 6:30 am. This required I wake around 4:30 am. We all managed to wake on time, bundle up for a chilly ride, and drive the 30 minutes to the location. We arrived about 15 minutes early. I had a nervous feeling. It felt we were in the right spot, we saw other cars waiting, but we didn’t see the van for the balloon company. (Foreshadow #3)

The van arrived, he began setting up his check in table. The exterior building light wouldn’t turn on. He tried several times to no avail. He made the comment how weird that was. “It was working fine yesterday. Guess we will do this a different way.” He pulled out his iPhone flashlight. (Foreshadow #4)

He handed me the waivers to sign, told me we were riding in the van to the liftoff location. We’d leave within minutes. No less than one short minute later, the check in guy called everyone over with these words, “Guys, I’m sorry I have to ruin your day, but your balloon flight has just been cancelled. We received word from the pilot that the winds are too strong for a safe flight this morning. But you can try to rebook for a later flight.”

I felt every ounce of shock and deflation in that moment. The weather looked beautiful to me. I felt no wind at all, but also I don’t understand weather patterns in the slightest.

The moment held that realization of the fact that we had no control of the situation. We held in our hands our hopes and expectations for that morning fully deflated, frustration welling up, and a whisper to trust God. All the foreshadow moments began filling my mind. God’s provision ahead of time, protecting our money He knew would be lost if that Groupon had processed.

Steve quickly found a breakfast spot and as we drove to eat what did we see over the mountains? Yes, hot air balloons floating gently, peacefully into the sunrise. (Frustration, Disappointment) Why did others get to experience a safe ride and we couldn’t? Have you ever asked God these questions?

I attempted to rebook, but no flights were available. The next few moments we had a choice to make. Which path is right? Is God directing? Do we simply trust the cancel and stop trying to make it work? Do we accept it simply wasn’t meant to be? Or was God directing us to another company? Or was that us trying to control the situation and make a way no matter what God suggested?

In those minutes I’d found another company with spots open the next day. It would cost more by a couple of hundred dollars. Because we saw a way to make it happen, did that mean it was wise? Or should we accept the fact that our expectations didn’t come to pass, allow ourselves to feel the disappointment, but ultimately trust that God is good and knows things we simply don’t know.

The hard thing for me is the fact I always want to know. I always want to put all the puzzle pieces together and see the picture, even if it looks different than I envisioned, I find comfort in seeing it make sense. I also want to follow God’s path rather than my own, but in this situation, I simply was unsure.

We began praying and asking God to guide. I had a thought after praying. I would not book with another company, even if spots allowed, but instead if our current company had cancellations the next morning, we would be prepared to take the spots. We let the company know we’d be open to taking any cancellations they had, but it never happened.

When the day passed by, we had fully accepted the disappointment of the excursion that simply wasn’t meant to be. We didn’t understand why, but decided the only choice was to trust God. God is good. Always.

For me I realize it’s so easy to trust God when I see the path and the reasons for the roadblocks, but so very hard when I never know why.

What do I believe about God truly? Do I believe He is a very good God who desires to give good gifts? Do I believe He’s not a God who delights in watching His children disappointed but is also a God who knows our character and faith can only be shaped and strengthened at times when circumstances don’t go our way?

And this is how my year is ending with God allowing me to walk through a scenario that really is a picture of my entire year. Do I REALLY trust God like I say I do? Do I trust Him in the good and bad equally? Do I believe He is good when life is floating in the air as much as sitting in deflated hopes and expectations? Will I follow Him where He leads even if I see I can make my own way on a path I create because I think I know better? Or will I hold His hand on a different path knowing that anywhere with Him is better than alone along my own rocky way?

Before I wrap up this post, I have to mention our trip was beyond amazing. Truly losing one excursion didn’t take away any joy from five days of amazing family time and memories we created. If I thought I could hold your attention here a bit longer, I’d share how many times God showed up with surprise gifts along this trip. It was all a gift.

This year has been quite the year. It’s taught me to continue living with intention. We simply don’t know what tomorrow holds. If you can take the trip, take the trip. If you have breath in your lungs, live today fully. If you have your loved ones in your life, tell them what they mean to you.

“I saw heaven standing open and there before me was a white horse, whose rider is called Faithful and True. With justice he judges and wages war.” Revelation 19:11

Trust God. He is trustworthy. He is faithful. He is true. Even in the roadblocks and frustrating disappointments, He is good and we can trust Him.

“Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.” Proverbs 19:21

 

9 Screen Free Non Toy Gift Ideas for Teens and Kids Of All Ages

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I think we all want to give gifts that matter and last beyond Christmas morning.

This isn’t the first time I’ve written about this topic. I wrote a post a few years ago, 15 Non-Toy Gift Ideas To Give Kids At Christmas.  It’s worth revisiting. Especially in light of all we now know about the screen addictions and dangers our children our facing.

Maybe it’s time we become intentional in the protection of our kids in the area of screens by giving them gifts of a different nature.

WHY IT MATTERS WHAT WE GIVE

Our lives and homes are filled with stuff, clutter, and noise. Toy closets and playrooms have to be purged prior to the holidays to make room for all the new toys arriving in the younger years. In the older years we begin to see clutter of a new kind. The digital clutter that infects the soul.

The easy gift is anything with a screen. This is the gift sure to delight our child who thinks in the short term. However, is a screen gift the best gift?

Do our kids really need more games, more toys, another doll?

How much is enough?

For many parents the temptation is to buy according to peer pressure. All of our kids’ friends will receive the latest iPhone, tablet, etc. The keeping up with the Jones’ passes down the generational lines.

I hear this cry from parents. Why can’t Christmas be simpler? Why can’t we focus on what really matters?

Well, one reason is because we spend the majority of our season shopping and pondering what to buy. Maybe it starts with us and has little to do with our kids.

Some parents believe in giving enormous amounts of gifts. Other parents believe in giving only a handful of small gifts. To each their own, neither is right or wrong, simply family values and convictions. Whichever camp you reside in with your gift giving, this list will provide you a few thoughtful ideas.

 

 Screen Free Non Toy Gift Ideas:

  1. Investment Account– Before you breeze by this one, consider your teen or tween who is interested in learning about the stock market. Open a custodial account with someone like E Trade.  Purchase a few small stocks. They will love watching their money rise and fall and learning about the investment world.
  2. Business Start Up – Help your budding entrepreneur. Does your teen have an interest in business, an entrepreneurial spirit? Buy gifts to help their venture. Our boys have a snow shoveling business in the winter and lawn business in the summer. Equipment is expensive, and they are required to buy their own. This would be a great opportunity to purchase equipment they need or supplies to help them in their efforts to become more efficient in their craft.
  3. Collection of gift cards – Pick 5-10 of their favorite restaurants or shops and purchase small denomination gift cards. Kids love to have their own money to spend when the time arises.
  4. Concert tickets – Look at the year ahead. Is there a favorite band coming to town? Buy tickets now and gift at Christmas.
  5. Trip – Is your family planning to take a trip next year? Make it part of the Christmas surprise. Give gifts to go along with the trip. Last year we knew we planned to take our family on a cruise. We decided that this would be our Christmas gift to the kids. The gifts they unwrapped held the clues about the big gift. Swim trunks, sunblock, new shorts and tops, etc. The grandparents gifted along as well and provided excursions for the trip. This allowed us to take the trip of a lifetime without double spending.
  6. Audio Books or Dramatizations – So many options here! Christian Heroes Then and Now and Adventures in Odyssey are some of our favorites that make the gift list every single holiday. We use them on road trips to alleviate screen time in the car and to enrich our lives at the same time. Chronicles of Narnia Radio Theater by Focus on the Family is amazing.
  7. Memberships and Season Passes – Zoo, science museums, children’s theater, amusement parks. There are so many places in your town.
  8. Tickets  – Sky Zone, Defy Gravity, Skating, Bowling, Ice Skating. These are all places our family likes to go but are too expensive to do frequently. Groupon often has incredible deals to your favorite places.
  9. Hobby/Skill  – Grow an interest in a hobby or a skill set your see in your kids. Sewing, woodworking, painting, music lessons, art lessons, camps, photography equipment. Hobbies are expensive. My kids have lots of interests but we are unable to fund everything they would like to do. If your kids have been begging to take drum lessons, maybe this is the time to invest. A year of lessons or the equipment.

For additional ideas (especially for younger kids), read my post on 15 Non Toy Gifts to Give Kids At Christmas. Also you might find it helpful to read this post if you have a child who struggles at Christmas when surrounded by kids who receive the latest and greatest of everything. Dear Boys, When You Compare What You Get To What Everyone Else Gets  .

For a Christmas that matters, one which focuses on the true meaning of Christmas, while providing your family thoughtful, intentional ideas for creating memories, experiences, and traditions centered on Christ, check out Seeking Christmas – Finding the True Meaning of Christmas.