I used to be so organized! Really I did. I used to make monthly menu plans, cleaning schedules, well-planned to-do lists. In the past, I would have packed for a trip a week ahead of time. I would have begun preparing mentally well in advance. I would have plotted out the trip before leaving so as to have no wasted time.
Now my kids are older, and I spend all of my free time writing, studying, or speaking. So I put a significant amount of planning and organizing there, which means something had to give. I think secretly my family is glad about this. It makes a not free-spirited girl a little bit free-er…is that a word?
For our recent trip to Orlando, I mentioned in a previous post that we surprised the boys with a day at Magic Kingdom. The old me would have spent an enormous amount of time planning, plotting, or organizing to maximize that day. But I simply had no time, so the night before we left, I hopped on The Unofficial Guide to Disney and for $12.95 purchased their very well thought out, super-organized touring plan suited for a family with only 1 day and children at various ages and stages.
This plan makes no logical sense at all. It has you zigging and zagging all over the park rather than visit each ride in each section while you are there. A few times Steve gave me that look. The one that said, “Seriously….we have to walk all the way to the other side when the ride right here has a very small wait? This makes no sense.”
The plan seemed to make no sense. But we made a choice to trust the plan even though it made no sense whatsoever. There were so many moments that temptation was great to break the plan, to follow our own ideas, which seemed right. Then we would remember we had chosen to trust the plan.
We followed the plan exactly. Never veering to the right or to the left. Never following our own ideas, even when they seemed to make more sense. We followed the course laid out for us.
And the most amazing thing happened. We finished every single attraction on that list in record time. A plan that estimated we would finish just prior to park closing, we finished before dinner. On a peak day, during spring break!
Every single day I question God’s plan. Not out loud, not in a way anyone would recognize as questioning God. It’s a little more silent inside me. The way I become exasperated over correcting the same behavior over and over again in my children. The way I question why I continue to have to walk through various difficult situations that appear hopeless. The way I become restless and discontent in a current situation, looking to what I want rather then grasping gratitude for what I have. The way I worry and cover it by saying I’m just “thinking”.
Oh, yes, I question God’s plan. When I look at the world around me, despair beckons me to crumble at its feet. When I hear words spoken from one of my children that I swore my children would never say, and in my heart I just want to throw in the towel and admit defeat. When a difficult person continues to present difficult situations and I quit praying because I’ve decided to take sides with hopelessness. These are the silent ways I question His plan every single day.
In my heart, I trust God. I trust His Word. I sit at His feet and pour out my heart, I am strengthened by His Word. Then I take 2 steps into reality and how quickly I forget. So today I visualize following that silly, illogical touring plan. Choosing to follow what felt unnatural. That’s what it often feels like to follow God.
I choose to follow God’s plan, even when – to my human mind – it makes no logical sense. Because I know He is faithful. I know He cares for me. I know He holds me in His right hand. I know He is compassionate towards me. I know He knows my fears and struggles better than I do. I know He sees ahead what I can’t see. I know He laid a plan for me before I was born. I know that nothing can thwart His plan. I know all of this. Today I choose to walk in the belief that His plan is perfect even when I can’t see the sense in it.
Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
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