Fast Pass to Pure Grace

commonplace grace

On our recent trip to Disney, the boys and I raced through the fast pass lane on Space Mountain. We flew right by the ones waiting in the regular line. When we got to a stopping point, Zachary turned and asked, “What if someone entered the regular line, then when no one was looking, crossed into the fast pass line, then got to the final fast pass checkpoint and got caught?”

“Well, they would either send them back to the regular line, or they could choose to tell them they couldn’t ride at all.”

His face turned serious, which is so rare. “Well, I would just let them go through anyway.”

Now, Jacob is my child who must see justice served, but Zachary is a rule follower, so his answer surprised me.

“Why?”

His eyes, full of softness, met mine. “Because that is pure grace.”

Grace, an over-used, often misunderstood word. I had been a christian for years before understanding what grace actually meant. I’ve now come to realize grace can never be fully understood. It’s beyond our human ability to comprehend such a free, wild, and extravagant gift.

I know the definition of grace is an unmerited gift. It’s a gift we don’t deserve, a gift we didn’t earn. Salvation I don’t deserve. Salvation I can’t be good enough to earn. There are no scales. You see that would be unfair. And God is fair and just, beyond that He is wildly compassionate and loving. So in love with us, He extends grace.

Have I become desensitized to the word grace? Have I spoken of grace with such ease that it’s lost its magnificence on me?

Grace goes beyond comprehension. Pure grace, well, that just causes me to pause. If Zachary had simply said the word grace, I think I’d have smiled and nodded along with him. When he placed pure in front of grace, my thoughts came to a halt.

Grace is pure. Grace doesn’t need pure added to it. Grace needs nothing added to it. Grace is grace. Pure is pure.

The grace I daily extend tends to come with a price. But then that’s not grace. I’ll forgive you if you offer me a proper apology. I’ll accept you into my circle of friends or family, but you must behave a certain way. I’ll do this favor for you, but I hope you remember you owe me one.

My grace may come with conditions. His grace, no, it’s pure, no strings attached.

Grace is God as heart surgeon, cracking open your chest, removing your heart—poisoned as it is with pride and pain—and replacing it with his own. Rather than tell you to change, he creates the change. Do you clean up so he can accept you? No, he accepts you and begins cleaning you up. His dream isn’t just to get you into heaven but to get heaven into you.”
Max Lucado, Grace: More Than We Deserve, Greater Than We Imagine

Grace should cause my heart to skip a beat. Grace should cause me to look at every situation in light of eternity. Grace should not become a commonplace word in my vocabulary, desensitizing me to its magnitude. Grace changed everything. Grace is changing everything. Grace came for me, and grace came for you.

Look for grace today. He bathes us in it, but we may find ourselves so accustomed to His graces they have become a bit too common. Pray today for an awareness of His moment by moment grace.

Lord, capture our heart by your grace.

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My near-death experience

4wheeler

Saturday I had a near-death experience. Or it felt that way at the time, and even more so as I reflect back on the event. I can’t help but wonder what I will never know. Were we spared because we prayed?

This question is tough and unanswerable. We all know someone who prayed for protection or safety, yet the Lord called them home despite their prayers.  We’ve all faced circumstances where we prayed for healing and healing didn’t come. We’ve all received no’s to some of our prayers.

What we don’t know is how many yes’s we’ve received in the invisible world. How many times did we pray for hedges of protection, and in the spiritual realm those hedges are the very thing that saved our lives, but we never knew.

Identifying the no prayers seems a bit easier than identifying the yes prayers. The no’s are clear and obvious. The yes’s can be categorized as coincidence or “luck”.

If our eyes were opened to all the yes’s we’ve received, would we ever forget to pray again? I wonder.

Do we pray like our very lives depend on it? Do we believe it? Or have our prayers become an act of religion?

We took a trip to Georgia to celebrate my nephew’s graduation. Visiting my sister is a treat because their house is a true experience. Farm, land, 4 wheelers, pool, trampoline, and lots of wide open exploring. A boy’s dream.

As I walked outside her house, the warm Georgia sunshine hit me full on. Sounds of summer and celebration took all anxious thoughts and cares right away. Beach tunes, splashing kids, adult conversations weaving in and out, the smell of charcoal, and the sound of 4 wheelers coming and going. Activity swirled at a pace set to relaxation.

Steve and Zachary pulled into the front yard on the 4 wheeler. I took note how big Zachary is on the 4 wheeler. Gone are the days his little body fit snug into Steve’s as he held tight. Zachary hopped off, and with his still boyish grin, Steve nodded my way, “Hop on and let’s go for a ride.”

My nephew may have graduated but I’m not too old for some 4 wheeling fun. I climbed on for a ride on a freshly created trail. It was nice not clinging for dear life. The trail was fairly narrow and bumpy, so our speed stayed in my safe zone.

Steve has learned the hard way that I’m not much fun when I’m scared, and because he wants me to join him on his little adventures, he is wise to use caution.

I don’t know if I said this out loud to Steve or only thought it, but there were lots of small stumps and bigger than sticks smaller than logs obstacles. I noted how we had to be quite careful because these small innocent stumps could likely do some damage. About 1 second later it happened.

We took a turn at a safe speed, but the back tire hit a stump on the side of the trail. As Steve steered left, our left rear tire hit a stump and it pushed us right. Right at the time Steve was accelerating for the upcoming straightaway.

Everything happened so fast, I remember having all of these thoughts and questions quick firing. It likely took 1-2 seconds for us to hit the tree, but it felt like longer as I watched us accelerate to the tree. I remember not being scared because I thought when you hit a tree you stop, but the 4 wheeler performed what it was made for. It climbed right up that tree like it was climbing the side of a mountain. I fell off the rear, landing flat on my back, and I know Steve fell off and landed on top of me. What I can’t figure out for the life of me is how in the world the 4 wheeler didn’t crush us.

The details in the moments after falling are foggy to both of us. I remember lying on my back, looking straight up and seeing the 4 wheeler in a vertical position. 2 wheels in the air, 2 wheels on the ground, headlights shining to heaven.

I remember Steve being somewhat on top of me, but also somewhat holding the full weight of the 4 wheeler up, protecting me. I can only imagine what fear he saw on my face. I must have looked in shock.

Steve said, “You’re ok. You’re ok. Now move. Move!”

In that instant I realized I hadn’t died, but if I didn’t move fast, I might die. At any moment, that 4 wheeler could fall back on me with a crushing force.

Steve holding it up seemed supernatural. There is no way he could brace that 4 wheeler from his back the way he did. I mean he’s strong and all, but not that strong. Right then he was my hero.

I scurried to my feet and retreated to a safe distance to watch the 4 wheeler roll over and down, dumping chains and first aid kits from hidden compartments.

That’s when I started to tremble. It was only then that I felt the fear. We could’ve died. As hard as we hit the ground, had there been a rock instead of dirt, everything could have been different. Had Steve not held up the 4 wheeler, it could’ve crushed us.

I wish I could say that was the end, I thought it was the end. I thought that was the worst part, we’d be back to my sister’s in no time.

I had no choice but to get back on, though I had hoped I’d never have to again. Somehow we ended up off trail in a part of the woods that I saw no way out of. We were in deep, no carved trail, and steep hills that seemed impossible to a 4 wheeler.

I jumped off and walked while Steve rode up the ravine that felt impossible. I watched it flip a couple more times.

I was taken by his calmness. I felt a basket case, but I was too terrified to even speak. I thank God Steve handled each step with a quiet calm that hushed my fears.

As I watched him riding up what looked impossible, I prayed out loud for God to do the impossible and to protect Steve in the process.

Eventually, we made it out unharmed and the 4 wheeler still works. It did the job well.

As I have thought on that incident, I go back to the day before we left when the boys and I prayed while we packed and cleaned in preparation for the trip. We prayed for safety and protection, for hedges to be placed around us.

I must admit, I often pray these prayers out of habit and duty. I wonder if I pray them in disbelief even at times. I’m sure I do. What if we hadn’t prayed? How do we know if it wasn’t us calling on the power of God for protection that saved our lives that day?

I’ll never know that answer, and that is ok.

This isn’t the first time I’ve wondered this. I looked back at my prayer journal prior to Zachary’s Lyme diagnosis and read specific prayers for the strengthening of his body and immune system. This was before he had any symptoms. What if those prayers hadn’t been released to God? We just don’t know, so why take the chance? He’s placed power closer than a whisper’s reach.

What God has impressed on my heart is a desire to deepen my prayer life. To opening my eyes for a moment by moment need for Him. He actually has been stirring this in my heart for weeks. I’ve been reading a few books on prayer, I’ve been spending more time throughout the day simply talking to God. I’m finding constant companionship with Him is a treat I’ve been missing out on in the busyness of life.

Summer seems a good time for slowing down and praying more. Each moment I encounter is shaped by prayer. If we are given that kind of power, we’d be crazy not to use it.

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When We Stop Trying To Figure God Out

soulrest

Before I began writing, I was a CPA. I still have that side of my brain, the part that wants to analyze, categorize, and finalize.  I want to look at life and see the full circle.

Typically, whatever I’m experiencing, I’m looking for what God is doing in it and through it. “Oh, that’s why that happened.” “Maybe God is doing this so that….” “I think God allowed this so that…”  Basically I’m trying to figure God out all the time. I want to understand God’s work in my life.

Sometimes I see how the different pieces of my life fit together, but sometimes I don’t. I look for what He is doing in the life of my children, my husband. I look at the problems we face, and I look for the reasons, the pieces that when put together can make it all make sense.

When Steve and I were younger (we’ve been together since middle school), he was quite the jokester. He still can be that way. But I was gullible and believed anything, and he got a real kick out of seeing what he could get me to believe. Then we would laugh at my naiveté. We’ve grown up. A little.

When he wanted me to really believe him, he would say, “Just trust me.” Not once did he ever ask me to trust him when he was actually kidding. He honored that phrase and held to his word.

Because he never broke my trust when he asked me to place my trust in him, he earned my forever trust.

God asks me to trust Him every second, every minute, every hour of my life. Unlike a boy or a man, God is incapable of lying to me because God is truth. God is faithful.

At times trusting God is easy. At other times it seems near impossible. The task is too large. The problem is unsolvable. The history is too extensive. The wounds are too deep.

No matter what we face, God whispers, “Just trust me.” Just trust me.

It’s simple, right? All we have to do is trust. He does the rest. Might not look the way we planned, but He is always good and right. The pieces might not fit the way we are attempting to fit them together.

A few weeks ago, my soul seemed more restless than normal. I could sense God telling me to still my soul, to calm my anxious mind, to simply trust Him with every detail of my day.

Maybe that is how my soul gets still. When I stop trying to figure God out. When I stop trying to see how all the pieces of my life fit together in one neat, tidy picture. I can’t see what God sees. Some of my pieces fit into the lives of others I can’t see, and so do yours. On our end, we will have incomplete pictures, but from God’s view, it’s a perfectly complete picture. Beginning to end, what we can’t see.

I vowed to stop the constant figuring out of God and to begin trusting Him more. On my own power, I can’t last long. Each morning I’m asking Him to help me simply trust Him. To hold up my hands in surrender to the analyzing ways I’m prone to and go back to the days I believed anything, but this time I want to believe that with God anything is possible. Even trusting Him with every detail of my life.

Isaiah 55:8

“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the LORD. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.

 

Romans 11:33-34

Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His ways! For WHO HAS KNOWN THE MIND OF THE LORD, OR WHO BECAME HIS COUNSELOR?

Max Lucado writes in Before Amen, “In our desire to understand him, we have sought to contain him. The God of the Bible cannot be contained.”

I think I’ll stop trying to figure God out now. Like a simple, once gullible girl, I’ll choose to simply trust.

Trusting Him leads to deep soul rest. Deep, deep soul rest. I can let go of the need to understand, for only He sees it all. I don’t need to understand everything. I just need to trust Him. He is God, and I am not.

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Spring Cleaning For The Soul

spring cleaning

I’m a purger. Big time. I despise clutter and love wide open spaces. I dislike little things – you know the little treasure box trinkets that are up and down the stairs, under tables, and on the bathroom sinks.

My boys are collectors. Collectors and purgers have a hard time coexisting on cleaning days.

As summer nears, I begin to nest. My boys are coming home in less than 13 days. Well, they are technically only away 6 hours a day, but I feel like I lose more than 6 hours a day with them.

So I spring clean and nest simultaneously. I start clearing out every single thing in my home that hasn’t been used in a year. I fill up trash bins in record time. I have empty drawers and closets all over this house. And I feel like a new person. Funny how a little simplification and purging can do a soul some good.

No more complaining that stuff is all over the house. It’s all been trashed or given away. There is no “stuff”. What stuff is left has a function and is used.

What I notice about me is how I become more anxious when my house is cluttered. I can step over messes for only so long before I begin to snap at the people who created those messes. I can relish in the little hands and feet that made those messes until it’s day 3 and the messes haven’t moved.

Too much clutter, too much stuff, and I am too distracted. I can’t think as clearly. I start and stop. I get a tad cranky. Life begins to feel a bit more overwhelming. Then I have a good purge, and suddenly I can breathe. I have space to breathe, to relax, to notice.

I find my soul needs a good spring cleaning from time to time. Just like in our homes, our souls can become collectors. We take in things over time that take up space, leaving us little room to breathe. We fill ourselves full and find ourselves distracted, a tad grumpy and overwhelmed. We just want to relax and breathe.

A good purging does a soul good. I little slowing down, taking things off schedules, saying no more than yes. A little more looking for God in the moments rather than seeing the pressures of the days that want to take over that space where He wants to reside. A clearing  out of time to sit in silence allowing nothing but Him to speak to you.

How are you soul cleaning this spring? I’d love to hear your ideas for clearing space in your soul.

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You Are Fighting a Daily Battle – Are You Protected?

darts

A Fight to the Finish Ephesians 6:10-18 Msg
10-12 And that about wraps it up. God is strong, and he wants you strong. So take everything the Master has set out for you, well-made weapons of the best materials. And put them to use so you will be able to stand up to everything the Devil throws your way. This is no afternoon athletic contest that we’ll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the Devil and all his angels.

13-18 Be prepared. You’re up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it’s all over but the shouting you’ll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You’ll need them throughout your life. God’s Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other’s spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out.

It’s no secret that Satan attacks believers. It’s no secret that there is a war going on that we can’t see with our eyes.

I was unable to write this week, which is why you received only one post. It wasn’t a lack of ideas, rather it was an attack waged on me and my family that left me walking in a haze.

When I write to you, I essentially place a target on my back and taunt the enemy to see how good his aim is. When I attempt to enter into the enemy’s territory by calling attention to the perils of electronics in the hands of children, I’m calling out to him to try and get me. When I write about pornography in disguise trapping millions of women, I throw my own arrows at the enemy. And when I advocate for the orphan and pray for the Lord to move mountains, I shout in satan’s face.

My friend, you have a target on your back too. We don’t have to broadcast our message to the world to erect our targets. When you grow in your faith, you become a target. When you walk with the Lord daily, you are a target. When you choose to turn the other cheek and choose gentleness over stubborn pride, you tell him to come attack. Don’t be discouraged. This is a good place to be actually.

Initially, I was planning to write to you and ask that you pray for me and my family. And I still ask for your prayers, but I want to remind you that you are in a battle you can’t see. We know this, but we need reminding.

I won’t go into the details of my most recent boxing match with the enemy, but let’s just say I’ve been beyond ‘not myself’. My thoughts have been negative, my patience thin, my smile forced, my heart heavy. I’ve felt an unexplained heavy darkness that I was unable to shake. Everything I touched was affected. It overflowed onto my husband, my children, my home.

Last week a friend emailed me that the Lord was pressing into her heart to pray for me. I had a couple of readers send me messages that they were praying for me. I was super appreciative, but this didn’t trigger anything beyond gratitude. In hindsight, I see the Lord knew I was walking oblivious to the waged attack and needed other believers praying. And they did. Thank you, friends.

Last night I had dinner with a friend who the Lord used to open my eyes to what was happening. She could see clearly what I couldn’t and began to cover me in prayers, along with many other friends I knew who were praying (and of course my poor husband who’s had to live with it).

At the beginning of the week, the Lord led me to Psalm 143. All week He kept bringing me back to it, but I was unsure why. Last night, I began praying in the name of Jesus out loud to bind all curses whispered against me and to cast out all spirits attacking my family and my home. I named them, one by one. I got specific and down to the nitty-gritty. Everything I knew was not from the Lord, I called out and used the name of Jesus and the sword of the Spirit, the Word of God.

This is uncomfortable for some of you to read. If you are here, and are not a christian, you likely think I’m very, very weird. And, well, that is actually true, but God’s Word is very clear that we are in a cosmic battle. Looking back I see these little things that were signs of attacks, but I ignored them. I failed to pray Ephesians 6 daily. I failed to put on my armor every single day. Here’s the good news. Once I realized it, I knew exactly what to do. Even better, I felt relief! I knew I wasn’t crazy. I knew I could win!!

What is amazing to me, is that we truly have nothing to fear. He who is in us is greater than he who is in the world. (1 John 4:4) No weapon formed against God shall prevail (Isaiah 54:17). I have everything I need to stand in victory. I have the armor. I have the authority. I have the power because Jesus died and rose again.

The attacks come in many different forms. Satan sends many different types of spirits which have different functions. This is why it is sometimes hard to realize we are under immediate attack. It looks different depending on the type of attack he launched.

We don’t need to delve into the dark world to fully understand it. I think we are better off knowing as little as possible, but enough to take God seriously when He says be ready daily and get on your armor. He’s not joking.

Friends, I am not trying to scare you or make you think I’m weird. I want to encourage you to stand tall and brave. What an amazing God we serve. He fights for us, but He gives His power and His authority to win.

I went back to Psalm 143 which I’ve read all week. This morning I knew why. (I love this in NIV and Msg translations)

The Msg 1-2 Listen to this prayer of mine, God;
pay attention to what I’m asking.
Answer me—you’re famous for your answers!
Do what’s right for me.
But don’t, please don’t, haul me into court;
not a person alive would be acquitted there.
3-6 The enemy hunted me down;
he kicked me and stomped me within an inch of my life.
He put me in a black hole,
buried me like a corpse in that dungeon.
I sat there in despair, my spirit draining away,
my heart heavy, like lead.
I remembered the old days,
went over all you’ve done, pondered the ways you’ve worked,
Stretched out my hands to you,
as thirsty for you as a desert thirsty for rain.
7-10 Hurry with your answer, God!
I’m nearly at the end of my rope.
Don’t turn away; don’t ignore me!
That would be certain death.
If you wake me each morning with the sound of your loving voice,
I’ll go to sleep each night trusting in you.
Point out the road I must travel;
I’m all ears, all eyes before you.
Save me from my enemies, God—
you’re my only hope!
Teach me how to live to please you,
because you’re my God.
Lead me by your blessed Spirit
into cleared and level pastureland.
11-12 Keep up your reputation, God—give me life!
In your justice, get me out of this trouble!
In your great love, vanquish my enemies;
make a clean sweep of those who harass me.
And why? Because I’m your servant.

This is how I felt. I kept remembering how only weeks ago I felt so different. I kept remembering all God has done. I was trying so hard to get back to where I was. But that is the problem. I was trying. I wasn’t using the power He placed in me and the authority I’d been given. Praise God He chases us all day long. He never stops. When we can’t see, He presses us into the hearts of those He’s called to love us. Praise God.

So today I write to you and ask that you pray for our family. I periodically receive things that give me the shivers that I know are from sources opposed to what I’m trying to do with this ministry. As the Lord brings me to mind, would you pray?

And I write to remind you to put on your armor daily, to fear not, to stand bold and brave, and to remember we win in the end! We can’t give up. We can’t despair. When we feel like giving up, when we feel despair, when we lack joy for no apparent reason, when we are hard pressed on every side, ask others to join you in prayer. Stand bold and pray, using the name of Jesus, pray out loud, even if in a whisper. Pray through every room of your home.

I’m praying with you. We stand on the side of victory!

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How to weather the pop-up storms of life

storm

Psalm 55:8

“I would hurry to my place of shelter, far from the tempest and storm.”

After a week of rain I couldn’t wait to get outside and run. I didn’t care how fast or far I went. I didn’t care what was on the schedule after the run. I just wanted to soak in every ounce of sunshine bearing down on me.

I took note of every touch of God along that trail. The helicopters that fell from trees, watching their spinning descent with a  smile in my heart. I crossed the wooden bridge normally sheltering dry rocks. Water rushed a soothing song under those wooden planks.

It felt good to run, to breathe hard – to notice my breathing. To take notice of the automatics in my life.

I couldn’t help but realize how different my mood and mindset were from the previous week. I felt alive and aware of God again. In the rainy days, darkness, cold, and wet are all I could see at times. I knew the sun would shine again, but it didn’t change my weather matching mood.

The morning progressed, the sun shone brighter, the air grew warmer. I began to sense God’s Presence again. It never left me during the rainy days, I just stopped looking for Him, I stopped noticing. Now that everything is bright, I can see Him again. Praise was on my lips. My heart poured out to Him all the ways I see Him and all the ways I’m thankful.

I walked in my door lighter than when I left. I brewed some coffee, sat to write, and I heard the thunder. I looked out the window and watched as in the span of 20 seconds darkness fell again. The thunder boomed, the rain poured, and I immediately felt the wave of “Oh no, not more….” wash over me. All the praise and thanksgiving I easily offered moments before dissipated.

As quick as the storm rolled in, it rolled back out. The sun shone, the birds chirped, and I sat in silence.

Some rainy days last longer than others. Some are pop up showers that come and go, offering refreshment and an awakening. Some flood our hearts, and we long to see the sun again. In them all, He is always there. We just find it easier to see Him when the world looks bright around us.

I wonder how often I’ve missed some of the most intimate moments of my life during the rainy season. How often I’ve longed to see the sun rather than delighting in Him under His umbrella for my storm. What I’ve missed by not soaking in the rain that washes over me but can’t wash me away from Him?

On the other side of darkness, a new perspective is easy.

Lord, give me that kind of perspective when the rain seems it will never end. Let me be so in tuned to your Presence that I can hold your hand under the shelter from the rain, knowing you are with me, and knowing one day, I will see the sun again.

rock

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When the plan makes zero sense

followplan

I used to be so organized! Really I did. I used to make monthly menu plans, cleaning schedules, well-planned to-do lists. In the past, I would have packed for a trip a week ahead of time. I would have begun preparing mentally well in advance. I would have plotted out the trip before leaving so as to have no wasted time.

Now my kids are older, and I spend all of my free time writing, studying, or speaking. So I put a significant amount of planning and organizing there, which means something had to give. I think secretly my family is glad about this. It makes a not free-spirited girl a little bit free-er…is that a word?

For our recent trip to Orlando, I mentioned in a previous post that we surprised the boys with a day at Magic Kingdom. The old me would have spent an enormous amount of time planning, plotting, or organizing to maximize that day. But I simply had no time, so the night before we left, I hopped on The Unofficial Guide to Disney and for $12.95 purchased their very well thought out, super-organized touring plan suited for a family with only 1 day and children at various ages and stages.

This plan makes no logical sense at all. It has you zigging and zagging all over the park rather than visit each ride in each section while you are there. A few times Steve gave me that look. The one that said, “Seriously….we have to walk all the way to the other side when the ride right here has a very small wait? This makes no sense.”

The plan seemed to make no sense. But we made a choice to trust the plan even though it made no sense whatsoever. There were so many moments that temptation was great to break the plan, to follow our own ideas, which seemed right. Then we would remember we had chosen to trust the plan.

We followed the plan exactly. Never veering to the right or to the left. Never following our own ideas, even when they seemed to make more sense. We followed the course laid out for us.

And the most amazing thing happened. We finished every single attraction on that list in record time. A plan that estimated we would finish just prior to park closing, we finished before dinner. On a peak day, during spring break!

Every single day I question God’s plan. Not out loud, not in a way anyone would recognize as questioning God. It’s a little more silent inside me. The way I become exasperated over correcting the same behavior over and over again in my children. The way I question why I continue to have to walk through various difficult situations that appear hopeless. The way I become restless and discontent in a current situation, looking to what I want rather then grasping gratitude for what I have. The way I worry and cover it by saying I’m just “thinking”.

Oh, yes, I question God’s plan. When I look at the world around me, despair beckons me to crumble at its feet. When I hear words spoken from one of my children that I swore my children would never say, and in my heart I just want to throw in the towel and admit defeat. When a difficult person continues to present difficult situations and I quit praying because I’ve decided to take sides with hopelessness. These are the silent ways I question His plan every single day.

In my heart, I trust God. I trust His Word. I sit at His feet and pour out my heart, I am strengthened by His Word. Then I take 2 steps into reality and how quickly I forget. So today I visualize following that silly, illogical touring plan. Choosing to follow what felt unnatural. That’s what it often feels like to follow God.

I choose to follow God’s plan, even when – to my human mind – it makes no logical sense. Because I know He is faithful. I know He cares for me. I know He holds me in His right hand. I know He is compassionate towards me. I know He knows my fears and struggles better than I do. I know He sees ahead what I can’t see. I know He laid a plan for me before I was born. I know that nothing can thwart His plan. I know all of this. Today I choose to walk in the belief that His plan is perfect even when I can’t see the sense in it.

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

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