Spring Cleaning For The Soul

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spring cleaning

I’m a purger. Big time. I despise clutter and love wide open spaces. I dislike little things – you know the little treasure box trinkets that are up and down the stairs, under tables, and on the bathroom sinks.

My boys are collectors. Collectors and purgers have a hard time coexisting on cleaning days.

As summer nears, I begin to nest. My boys are coming home in less than 13 days. Well, they are technically only away 6 hours a day, but I feel like I lose more than 6 hours a day with them.

So I spring clean and nest simultaneously. I start clearing out every single thing in my home that hasn’t been used in a year. I fill up trash bins in record time. I have empty drawers and closets all over this house. And I feel like a new person. Funny how a little simplification and purging can do a soul some good.

No more complaining that stuff is all over the house. It’s all been trashed or given away. There is no “stuff”. What stuff is left has a function and is used.

What I notice about me is how I become more anxious when my house is cluttered. I can step over messes for only so long before I begin to snap at the people who created those messes. I can relish in the little hands and feet that made those messes until it’s day 3 and the messes haven’t moved.

Too much clutter, too much stuff, and I am too distracted. I can’t think as clearly. I start and stop. I get a tad cranky. Life begins to feel a bit more overwhelming. Then I have a good purge, and suddenly I can breathe. I have space to breathe, to relax, to notice.

I find my soul needs a good spring cleaning from time to time. Just like in our homes, our souls can become collectors. We take in things over time that take up space, leaving us little room to breathe. We fill ourselves full and find ourselves distracted, a tad grumpy and overwhelmed. We just want to relax and breathe.

A good purging does a soul good. I little slowing down, taking things off schedules, saying no more than yes. A little more looking for God in the moments rather than seeing the pressures of the days that want to take over that space where He wants to reside. A clearing  out of time to sit in silence allowing nothing but Him to speak to you.

How are you soul cleaning this spring? I’d love to hear your ideas for clearing space in your soul.

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You Are Fighting a Daily Battle – Are You Protected?

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darts

A Fight to the Finish Ephesians 6:10-18 Msg
10-12 And that about wraps it up. God is strong, and he wants you strong. So take everything the Master has set out for you, well-made weapons of the best materials. And put them to use so you will be able to stand up to everything the Devil throws your way. This is no afternoon athletic contest that we’ll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the Devil and all his angels.

13-18 Be prepared. You’re up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it’s all over but the shouting you’ll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You’ll need them throughout your life. God’s Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other’s spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out.

It’s no secret that Satan attacks believers. It’s no secret that there is a war going on that we can’t see with our eyes.

I was unable to write this week, which is why you received only one post. It wasn’t a lack of ideas, rather it was an attack waged on me and my family that left me walking in a haze.

When I write to you, I essentially place a target on my back and taunt the enemy to see how good his aim is. When I attempt to enter into the enemy’s territory by calling attention to the perils of electronics in the hands of children, I’m calling out to him to try and get me. When I write about pornography in disguise trapping millions of women, I throw my own arrows at the enemy. And when I advocate for the orphan and pray for the Lord to move mountains, I shout in satan’s face.

My friend, you have a target on your back too. We don’t have to broadcast our message to the world to erect our targets. When you grow in your faith, you become a target. When you walk with the Lord daily, you are a target. When you choose to turn the other cheek and choose gentleness over stubborn pride, you tell him to come attack. Don’t be discouraged. This is a good place to be actually.

Initially, I was planning to write to you and ask that you pray for me and my family. And I still ask for your prayers, but I want to remind you that you are in a battle you can’t see. We know this, but we need reminding.

I won’t go into the details of my most recent boxing match with the enemy, but let’s just say I’ve been beyond ‘not myself’. My thoughts have been negative, my patience thin, my smile forced, my heart heavy. I’ve felt an unexplained heavy darkness that I was unable to shake. Everything I touched was affected. It overflowed onto my husband, my children, my home.

Last week a friend emailed me that the Lord was pressing into her heart to pray for me. I had a couple of readers send me messages that they were praying for me. I was super appreciative, but this didn’t trigger anything beyond gratitude. In hindsight, I see the Lord knew I was walking oblivious to the waged attack and needed other believers praying. And they did. Thank you, friends.

Last night I had dinner with a friend who the Lord used to open my eyes to what was happening. She could see clearly what I couldn’t and began to cover me in prayers, along with many other friends I knew who were praying (and of course my poor husband who’s had to live with it).

At the beginning of the week, the Lord led me to Psalm 143. All week He kept bringing me back to it, but I was unsure why. Last night, I began praying in the name of Jesus out loud to bind all curses whispered against me and to cast out all spirits attacking my family and my home. I named them, one by one. I got specific and down to the nitty-gritty. Everything I knew was not from the Lord, I called out and used the name of Jesus and the sword of the Spirit, the Word of God.

This is uncomfortable for some of you to read. If you are here, and are not a christian, you likely think I’m very, very weird. And, well, that is actually true, but God’s Word is very clear that we are in a cosmic battle. Looking back I see these little things that were signs of attacks, but I ignored them. I failed to pray Ephesians 6 daily. I failed to put on my armor every single day. Here’s the good news. Once I realized it, I knew exactly what to do. Even better, I felt relief! I knew I wasn’t crazy. I knew I could win!!

What is amazing to me, is that we truly have nothing to fear. He who is in us is greater than he who is in the world. (1 John 4:4) No weapon formed against God shall prevail (Isaiah 54:17). I have everything I need to stand in victory. I have the armor. I have the authority. I have the power because Jesus died and rose again.

The attacks come in many different forms. Satan sends many different types of spirits which have different functions. This is why it is sometimes hard to realize we are under immediate attack. It looks different depending on the type of attack he launched.

We don’t need to delve into the dark world to fully understand it. I think we are better off knowing as little as possible, but enough to take God seriously when He says be ready daily and get on your armor. He’s not joking.

Friends, I am not trying to scare you or make you think I’m weird. I want to encourage you to stand tall and brave. What an amazing God we serve. He fights for us, but He gives His power and His authority to win.

I went back to Psalm 143 which I’ve read all week. This morning I knew why. (I love this in NIV and Msg translations)

The Msg 1-2 Listen to this prayer of mine, God;
pay attention to what I’m asking.
Answer me—you’re famous for your answers!
Do what’s right for me.
But don’t, please don’t, haul me into court;
not a person alive would be acquitted there.
3-6 The enemy hunted me down;
he kicked me and stomped me within an inch of my life.
He put me in a black hole,
buried me like a corpse in that dungeon.
I sat there in despair, my spirit draining away,
my heart heavy, like lead.
I remembered the old days,
went over all you’ve done, pondered the ways you’ve worked,
Stretched out my hands to you,
as thirsty for you as a desert thirsty for rain.
7-10 Hurry with your answer, God!
I’m nearly at the end of my rope.
Don’t turn away; don’t ignore me!
That would be certain death.
If you wake me each morning with the sound of your loving voice,
I’ll go to sleep each night trusting in you.
Point out the road I must travel;
I’m all ears, all eyes before you.
Save me from my enemies, God—
you’re my only hope!
Teach me how to live to please you,
because you’re my God.
Lead me by your blessed Spirit
into cleared and level pastureland.
11-12 Keep up your reputation, God—give me life!
In your justice, get me out of this trouble!
In your great love, vanquish my enemies;
make a clean sweep of those who harass me.
And why? Because I’m your servant.

This is how I felt. I kept remembering how only weeks ago I felt so different. I kept remembering all God has done. I was trying so hard to get back to where I was. But that is the problem. I was trying. I wasn’t using the power He placed in me and the authority I’d been given. Praise God He chases us all day long. He never stops. When we can’t see, He presses us into the hearts of those He’s called to love us. Praise God.

So today I write to you and ask that you pray for our family. I periodically receive things that give me the shivers that I know are from sources opposed to what I’m trying to do with this ministry. As the Lord brings me to mind, would you pray?

And I write to remind you to put on your armor daily, to fear not, to stand bold and brave, and to remember we win in the end! We can’t give up. We can’t despair. When we feel like giving up, when we feel despair, when we lack joy for no apparent reason, when we are hard pressed on every side, ask others to join you in prayer. Stand bold and pray, using the name of Jesus, pray out loud, even if in a whisper. Pray through every room of your home.

I’m praying with you. We stand on the side of victory!

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How to weather the pop-up storms of life

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storm

Psalm 55:8

“I would hurry to my place of shelter, far from the tempest and storm.”

After a week of rain I couldn’t wait to get outside and run. I didn’t care how fast or far I went. I didn’t care what was on the schedule after the run. I just wanted to soak in every ounce of sunshine bearing down on me.

I took note of every touch of God along that trail. The helicopters that fell from trees, watching their spinning descent with a  smile in my heart. I crossed the wooden bridge normally sheltering dry rocks. Water rushed a soothing song under those wooden planks.

It felt good to run, to breathe hard – to notice my breathing. To take notice of the automatics in my life.

I couldn’t help but realize how different my mood and mindset were from the previous week. I felt alive and aware of God again. In the rainy days, darkness, cold, and wet are all I could see at times. I knew the sun would shine again, but it didn’t change my weather matching mood.

The morning progressed, the sun shone brighter, the air grew warmer. I began to sense God’s Presence again. It never left me during the rainy days, I just stopped looking for Him, I stopped noticing. Now that everything is bright, I can see Him again. Praise was on my lips. My heart poured out to Him all the ways I see Him and all the ways I’m thankful.

I walked in my door lighter than when I left. I brewed some coffee, sat to write, and I heard the thunder. I looked out the window and watched as in the span of 20 seconds darkness fell again. The thunder boomed, the rain poured, and I immediately felt the wave of “Oh no, not more….” wash over me. All the praise and thanksgiving I easily offered moments before dissipated.

As quick as the storm rolled in, it rolled back out. The sun shone, the birds chirped, and I sat in silence.

Some rainy days last longer than others. Some are pop up showers that come and go, offering refreshment and an awakening. Some flood our hearts, and we long to see the sun again. In them all, He is always there. We just find it easier to see Him when the world looks bright around us.

I wonder how often I’ve missed some of the most intimate moments of my life during the rainy season. How often I’ve longed to see the sun rather than delighting in Him under His umbrella for my storm. What I’ve missed by not soaking in the rain that washes over me but can’t wash me away from Him?

On the other side of darkness, a new perspective is easy.

Lord, give me that kind of perspective when the rain seems it will never end. Let me be so in tuned to your Presence that I can hold your hand under the shelter from the rain, knowing you are with me, and knowing one day, I will see the sun again.

rock

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When the plan makes zero sense

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followplan

I used to be so organized! Really I did. I used to make monthly menu plans, cleaning schedules, well-planned to-do lists. In the past, I would have packed for a trip a week ahead of time. I would have begun preparing mentally well in advance. I would have plotted out the trip before leaving so as to have no wasted time.

Now my kids are older, and I spend all of my free time writing, studying, or speaking. So I put a significant amount of planning and organizing there, which means something had to give. I think secretly my family is glad about this. It makes a not free-spirited girl a little bit free-er…is that a word?

For our recent trip to Orlando, I mentioned in a previous post that we surprised the boys with a day at Magic Kingdom. The old me would have spent an enormous amount of time planning, plotting, or organizing to maximize that day. But I simply had no time, so the night before we left, I hopped on The Unofficial Guide to Disney and for $12.95 purchased their very well thought out, super-organized touring plan suited for a family with only 1 day and children at various ages and stages.

This plan makes no logical sense at all. It has you zigging and zagging all over the park rather than visit each ride in each section while you are there. A few times Steve gave me that look. The one that said, “Seriously….we have to walk all the way to the other side when the ride right here has a very small wait? This makes no sense.”

The plan seemed to make no sense. But we made a choice to trust the plan even though it made no sense whatsoever. There were so many moments that temptation was great to break the plan, to follow our own ideas, which seemed right. Then we would remember we had chosen to trust the plan.

We followed the plan exactly. Never veering to the right or to the left. Never following our own ideas, even when they seemed to make more sense. We followed the course laid out for us.

And the most amazing thing happened. We finished every single attraction on that list in record time. A plan that estimated we would finish just prior to park closing, we finished before dinner. On a peak day, during spring break!

Every single day I question God’s plan. Not out loud, not in a way anyone would recognize as questioning God. It’s a little more silent inside me. The way I become exasperated over correcting the same behavior over and over again in my children. The way I question why I continue to have to walk through various difficult situations that appear hopeless. The way I become restless and discontent in a current situation, looking to what I want rather then grasping gratitude for what I have. The way I worry and cover it by saying I’m just “thinking”.

Oh, yes, I question God’s plan. When I look at the world around me, despair beckons me to crumble at its feet. When I hear words spoken from one of my children that I swore my children would never say, and in my heart I just want to throw in the towel and admit defeat. When a difficult person continues to present difficult situations and I quit praying because I’ve decided to take sides with hopelessness. These are the silent ways I question His plan every single day.

In my heart, I trust God. I trust His Word. I sit at His feet and pour out my heart, I am strengthened by His Word. Then I take 2 steps into reality and how quickly I forget. So today I visualize following that silly, illogical touring plan. Choosing to follow what felt unnatural. That’s what it often feels like to follow God.

[Tweet “Following God often feels unnatural.”]

I choose to follow God’s plan, even when – to my human mind – it makes no logical sense. Because I know He is faithful. I know He cares for me. I know He holds me in His right hand. I know He is compassionate towards me. I know He knows my fears and struggles better than I do. I know He sees ahead what I can’t see. I know He laid a plan for me before I was born. I know that nothing can thwart His plan. I know all of this. Today I choose to walk in the belief that His plan is perfect even when I can’t see the sense in it.

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

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The power of quiet

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quiet

I have a problem. When I sit to read, I can’t help but stop to write. I’m sitting here on my porch. The birds chirp, the wind whispers, older boys are busied inside the house, youngest is at a friend’s. All is peaceful. So I pulled out a book my sister said I must read. Quiet.

Quiet. I love quiet. I need quiet. Quiet is often misunderstood. Quiet and I can relate. I sit in the quiet to read Quiet. I get 2 pages in, and my mind takes off. Now I sit and write. In quiet. Because I can’t write unless all is quiet. Quiet is my best friend.

The author opens with a story of Rosa Parks. How she is described as timid and shy, yet courageous as a lion. She referenced Parks’ autobiography Quiet Strength and asks the question – “Why shouldn’t quiet be strong? And what else can quiet do that we don’t give it credit for?” (p. 2 Quiet)

I put the book down. I love a book that challenges me to explore and think. It’s the introvert in me that needs to analyze and understand, to ponder and wonder, to daydream.

So I begin to wonder. Why do we associate quiet with weakness? Sometimes quiet is bold. Sometimes quiet is loud. Sometimes quiet is strength.

Last week Jacob shared a story with me about watching someone speak unkindly towards another person. He said inside it deeply bothered him, but his nature is more quiet, so to stand up and boldly call out this to another is uncomfortable.

“Sometimes, Jacob, we can lead others in quiet ways that have a much greater impact.” I could tell he was baffled. “What if instead of calling out the ugliness of the person’s language and behavior, you simply did the opposite? You did what your heart knows is right. You speak kind words to the person who was spoken to unkindly. You include the person that might otherwise feel excluded.”

He’s a black and white thinker, and there are times that I see him register the gray. This was that time.

“Leadership takes many forms. Sometimes quiet leadership sends a louder message.”

[Tweet “Sometimes quiet leadership sends a louder message.”]

Quiet begs a question. Quiet inserts a message. Quiet instructs the heart. Quiet clears the way. Quiet is underrated.

Much is to be said for quiet. I came to know the Lord 2 months before Steve. He says it was my quietness that led him to draw into the Lord. It was not me boldly preaching and reading my Bible in full display. It was how my life changed radically within days and I quietly led a different life and began to love him in a different way. He drew in. The quiet draws.

Jacob feels internal conflict over his quiet nature. I tell him to let that go. Quiet is ok. He says he wants to boldly proclaim his faith the ways he sees others doing. I remind him there is strength in the quiet of his testimony as well. It’s the way he lives, the choices he makes, the way he speaks, the actions he takes, the heart he displays. These quiet moments share his faith too. I don’t want him to discount quiet. God created quiet. God uses quiet. God speaks in the quiet.

My soul is craving quiet. Life isn’t quite quiet enough for me. So I will look hard for the quiet moments that appear in my day unnoticed. Maybe when I take note of the quiet moments, my soul will begin to soak in the quiet it longs for. Quiet is around me. I’m just usually rushing through life so much, I trample the quiet.

I will look for the ways I see Christ in my children quietly. I will look for those moments of service that occur quietly and fill a need. I will look for that smile that lifted my spirits – that quiet smile. I will let myself pause in the middle of chaos and look to the quiet movement of the clouds. I take note of the rising sun, which comes with such quiet it is often unnoticed.

The unobserved quiet in my life tells a powerful story, sends a powerful message, changes the way I see life.

Look for the quiet messages and moments in your day today and see if you don’t feel blessed.

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When Fear Makes Us Miss What’s Best

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MK

Two weeks ago our family took a trip to Orlando to see the Atlanta Braves Spring Training. We surprised the boys with an unexpected day at Disney on one of the off game days.

We arrived at the front gate before the sun had fully risen, one of the first to enter the opening gates. About 3 minutes into walking down Main Street at Magic Kingdom, Andrew moaned, “When can we finally go home?!”

My head whipped around as I looked at him astonished. “We JUST got here. This is Disney. It’s SO MUCH FUN!”

Here we go again, I thought to myself. This is not at all how this is supposed to happen. What kid isn’t thrilled at walking the streets of Disney? Look at all these other kids – smiling, happy, jumping with delight. And look at my child – sulking, pouting, clearly unhappy to be in this place where dreams come true.

As we made our way to Tomorrowland, we each took a turn selling Andrew on our day ahead. Arms crossed, arguing with everything, refusing to ride or even enjoy himself was his response to us.

Our saving grace was grandma, who sat with him while we rode rides. Once we promised him we would call grandpa to come pick him up, he was fine. He wanted out of magic land fast.

Apparently, Magic Kingdom isn’t magical for everyone.

Once his mood began to offer a glimmer of hope at lifting, my anxiety began to wane a bit. I tried desperately to squash the reminders in my head about how much money we wasted on his ticket. I tried to look for anything that would help me from speaking to him with such a frustrated tone of voice.

It wasn’t simply that Andrew wanted to be difficult. It wasn’t as if his 6 year old brain determined to ruin our day. It was fear. Simply fear.

Andrew fears rides. He can’t handle the thought of being strapped into a ride and losing all sense of control. Locking himself into a situation where he relinquishes every ounce of control and placing himself at the mercy of mechanics is not his idea of adventure.

As we walked along, Jacob said, “Mom, I’m so just sad for Andrew. I’m sad because he has no idea what he is missing. We know what he is missing. He will go home and never know how much fun he could’ve had today.”

“That is what fear does to us. It causes us to miss out on surprises God has for us, and we never know what could’ve been.”

[Tweet “When fear wins, we never know what could’ve been.”]

The fact is fear wins in my life everyday. In little ways, ways I fail to see most days. I wonder what I miss out on each day because I’ve allowed fear to persuade me to stay in the shadows of what I think I know to be best for me.

We grabbed a couple of those Mickey Mouse ice creams and headed to the Jungle Cruise, but we were careful to eliminate the word “ride” from our vocabulary. “Come on, Andrew, let’s go hop on this boat after we eat our ice cream.”

boysdisney

Andrew loves boats. Andrew fears rides. We took a boat ‘ride’, and he loved every second of it because he thought it wasn’t a ride.

Isaiah 41:13 For I, the LORD your God, will hold your right hand, Saying to you, “Fear not, I will help you.

God doesn’t need to trick us. We just need to trust Him. Trust that He knows what is best. Trust that He wants the best for us.

He holds us by the hand. He tells us not to fear. Today, may we stop holding hands with fear, and hold His hand. Fear is our enemy, and fear persuades us to cling close by. God tells us to let go of fear, for He holds our right hand. He will help us.

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I Want To Raise Boys to Be Culture Warriors

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nyc

We were in NYC a few months ago- me, my sister, niece, and mom. The cold rain could not stop us from hopping on and off that tour bus to get us to the next shopping location. Finally shopped out, we hopped on and didn’t want to hop back off.

We had the whole bus to ourselves, and I sat relieved to sit in dry warmth. My achy feet thanked me profusely. We welcomed the next 20ish minutes to sit, thaw, and relax.

The bus stopped at the next stop, and the next thing I knew I was exiting the bus not at our stop, which was still many stops ahead. The driver said something I couldn’t understand, we filed out and hopped on the bus waiting at the stop ahead of us. This bus was packed full, standing room only. And the standing room section dripped water. Cold and wet again.

Then it dawned on me to ask what in the world we were doing. None of us really knew why we got off and got on another bus, so we asked the attendant to explain. She had no explanation.

The longer I thought about it, the more I fumed. Not so much at the bus company, but at myself for blindly following and asking not one question.

The very next stop, we hopped off that crowded, cold, wet bus and hopped back on our dry, warm, full of open seats bus. We asked the attendant why he instructed us to get off. He offered no really good reason.

I couldn’t help but think about how we so often do this in life. We just follow the ways of the world. The paths others follow. We assume because they are going that way, it must be safe for us to follow.

God gave us brains to think critically. I want my boys to think. Really think.

Our culture can at times forget to think. We let others think for us. We believe every new study published is truth. Or we believe because it’s available to us, it’s safe for us. We believe every article posted on Facebook is laced with wisdom. We follow the masses with each new wave of thought and change that presents itself.

We fear being different. We fear being wrong, so we keep our thoughts quietly locked away. We silence our questions and tell ourselves if everyone else is doing it, it must be ok.

Culture is always changing. It’s changed since the beginning of time, it will change until the end of time.

I read articles in the news that cause me to gasp that we’ve come so far. As we drove to school one morning, Jacob said, “Mom, I just don’t get it. Our nation was built on Biblical principles. We are a nation under God, but we are trying to take “In God We Trust” off our money, and we are taking prayer out of schools. Why are we doing these things?”

Small steps, one by one, we follow the way of the world. And one by one, we can take small steps that oppose the way of the world that leads back to God.

I reminded Jacob of a friend of mine who defends religious liberties, who stands up for the voice of the unborn. And then I reminded him of the most important tool we have. Prayer. Prayer is what can change a nation, a culture, a generation. Prayer changes everything.

He is seeing it first-hand. He came home from school sharing about some issues that are weighing heavily on him. They are out of our control. So we decided we would pray so God could change the situations. And He is! Jacob is seeing God work out what he was powerless to affect.

Raising kids seems intimidating in this age, but it’s really an unbelievable opportunity and privilege. We get to be part of standing with God, laying our requests at His feet, and watching Him perform miracles.

We can’t stop believing that God is at work in our nation and in our homes. We can’t stop praying for this generation we are raising. We can’t just pray for our own kids, we have to pray for all kids. Praying they love God wholeheartedly, use their brains to think and act for God.

Micah 6:8 “He has told you, O man, what is good; And what does the LORD require of you But to do justice, to love kindness, And to walk humbly with your God?”

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