Summer is for refreshment

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I miss writing. I miss my blog. I miss working on outside writing projects. I think it’s ok to miss something you love, but to find contentment in the season of hold at the same time. Sometimes when we put on hold one thing we love, we have a fresh opportunity to experience new things God has to show us.

At the beginning of summer I knew I would place writing on hold so I could fully invest in the time I have with the boys. I may not always have this choice or opportunity, so while I do, I want to hold it dearly.

I also knew that I would miss my work. I’d miss the moments of reflection, the moments of struggling to understand concepts and feelings, the moments of studying God in the world around me. I’d miss the contemplation.

I’ll admit I feared losing my readers who might lose interest in hanging around a quiet community. I feared the inner struggle of ideas begging to find a home on paper that I would have to hold inside. I feared having to say no more than I wanted. Lots of fears.

But God is gracious. He knew full well how I am wired, so He went before me this summer and prepared the way.

At the end of Spring, I felt God leading me into a season of resting from writing. I felt Him asking me to simply delight in Him this summer. To lay down my passion for making Him known and to simply spend time knowing Him. To lay down my constant desire to share what He is teaching me and to soak in my soul what He is feeding to me, to hold it for a time before I move away too quickly.

I said yes to God, which means I’m saying no to some things I want to do for God. Because sometimes the things I say yes to for God take me away from actually saying yes to Him if that makes any sense at all. It’s all in the season, though. Saying yes to God in another season may look identical to saying yes to doing something for Him. It’s one of the unique aspects of God. What He is asking me to do might look completely opposite to what He is asking you to do. We see His love for variety and uniqueness in the world He created, so we know He creates that in our lives as well.

For the first time in as long as I can remember, I have no burning passions I must write about. For the first time in years I don’t have three book ideas I must write right now. I don’t have 10 blog posts hanging out in my head.

My writing head feels silent. And that feels scary. When I realized this the other day, I initially began to squirm, to question why, to wonder what’s wrong. Then I remembered, I’d said yes to spending a summer knowing Him, laying down the desire to make Him known. Because only when I stop for periods of time and devote all of my time to Him can I actually go forward in making Him known. So He’s given me a gift. He took away my inner struggles. He took away my ideas and that burning passion for a season so that I wouldn’t struggle to simply delight in Him.

I’m surprisingly ok with my lack of ideas and desires right now. Passions, desires, ideas – they are all gifts from God. But sometimes the lack of them is a gift as well. My mind is a bit clearer right now as nothing is competing for the spot I’ve reserved for Him. The times I’ve normally spent processing what He’s teaching me so I can put it right back out are saved for lingering on Him that much longer. One day He’ll move me to pouring it back out. Right now, summer is for refreshment.

How about you? What is the season He has you in right now and how does it stand in contrast to other seasons He’s placed you in? For the season you are in, can you find the gifts hidden in the parts that make you squirm?

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