The Call of God is Terrifying – Are You Listening?

When God calls us to something, it can be downright frightening.

I posted this picture on instragram. It was a reminder to me that sometimes the road ahead is foggy, but the path right in front is clear. It takes trust to simply hold His hand and walk along the lit path, not knowing what’s in the fog. Trust is a choice.

Each believer is called into ministry. Some into the pulpit, some behind a screen, some in the washing of dishes and windows, some in the changing of diapers and the caring of elderly. Our entire life is to be one of ministry because our life isn’t supposed to be about us. Our life is to be spent glorifying God, not ourselves. We glorify God when we are using the gifts He placed in us in the service of others.

Over the weekend the Lord shook me to the core. I have yet to steady myself.

For those of you who have been readers for a long time, you have followed my meandering path of public ministry. A family devotion published, a call into speaking, a growing blogging platform. More writing opportunities. But then God.

You have a “but then God” experience too don’t you? We all do. Where you see the direction God is leading you, then He takes you on a turn. You can fight the turn or bend with Him. I’ve done both.

In those “but then” moments, it’s so natural to try to figure out what God is doing. I’m learning it’s really none of my business to know what God is doing. Rather it’s every bit my business to cling to His hand and say, “Let’s go. Take me where you want me to go.”

With the growth of my online ministry came territories that simply didn’t sit well with me. I’ve talked about this before. The idea that if you want to write a book, you need an enormous following. I just struggle with that. Something about developing a following I despise. Besides I tend to be a small group girl. I like an intimate setting with a few close friends over a party where I can’t spend quality time with the people I love.

The reason I have a hard time with this, is that it’s so easy to justify to suit our internal desires that walk a fine line. What part of my ego is fed when my platform grows? How much am I enjoying the praise of my work? It just seems dangerous to me. But it’s not for everyone.

My “but then God” moment came when I was asked to lead our women’s ministry at church. Prior to that I felt God calling me to focus on my smaller assignments. This was a relief. I could let go of the desire to grow in order to encourage believers, I could focus on the individual assignments He brought me.

The Lord intervened to be sure I took the women’s ministry role, and now I know why. The blessing in serving these women is something I’ve never experienced in my entire life. Ever. I had no idea the joy the Lord had waiting for me in these roles that appear so small, but are actually eternally important.

I feared taking the leadership role for many reasons. Leading women online is easier. I was scared of the difficult task of leading hundreds of women face to face!

My fears were fierce.

Fear #1 – Failure. What if I was a horrible leader? What if I just couldn’t spin one more plate? Would this take away from my number one ministry- my family?

Fear #2 – Unknown- I didn’t know where this would lead. I knew the path I had been on in my writing and speaking ministry. It had become familiar to me. Comfortable. God often loves to take us out of the comfy zone right when things get cozy. Just about when I start relying on myself more than Him.

Fear #3 – Rejection – What if the women didn’t like me?

Fear #4 – Embarrassment – What if I fall flat on my face and have to suffer humiliation?

Then I wondered something. Why should my ministry be protected from humiliation, embarrassment, unknown, or failure even? Jesus suffered all except failure. Jesus never failed, not once. But the enemy hopes we fear failing to the point of shying away from living our life fully spent for God.

God intervened. He made it so I took the role. I’ve never in my life felt more joy for the hours that I spend my day apart from serving my family.

Over the weekend, we had our winter women’s retreat. The theme the Lord placed on my heart was Hearts Ablaze.

Luke 24:32 So they said to each other, “Weren’t our hearts ablaze within us while He was talking with us on the road and explaining the Scriptures to us?”

Retreats are life changing, life shaping, life shaking experiences. If you’ve never been to one. Go. Sign up soon.

The Lord set hearts ablaze last weekend.

Watching the Lord on display among these women….there’s just nothing like it. I don’t get to see this when I write on my blog! This was such a gift to see in person!

My faith has doubled, possibly tripled since taking this role in October.

I’ve learned it had nothing to do with me. I feared following God because I was so focused on myself, my efforts, my failures, my, my, my. But when God practically forced me in, He showed me right away, within minutes actually, that it had only to do with my yes, my submission to Him, my obedience. That is all.

The Lord wants our yes. Our full surrender to Him.

He didn’t need me to understand the path. He didn’t need me to have it all figured out. He just needs me to become bendable. Is He asking you to become bendable too?

I wondered how I would get to know the women so I could know who had which gifts and who should serve where. Silly me. It was wasted worry. God had gone way ahead and prepared the way. He literally brought the women straight to me with their gifts. There were no questions. He had prepared their hearts already. They were ready for action.

Now my fear has become that women will give me credit that only belongs to God. Honestly, I’m not doing anything it seems. I think that is what happens when we say yes and know we are saying yes to the right thing. That thing just happens supernaturally.

What is happening among the women at our church can only be of God. Truly. No person can change hearts. No person can set hearts ablaze. Not the kind that lasts anyway.

To see it all working together this weekend was overwhelming. All the variety of gifts, so drastically different from one another, yet together in such amazing love and unity. When united by Christ, there is no room for division.

There were moments during worship that I simply wept at His goodness poured out on us. He is too good. And my heart breaks for the lost who have never believed that He is good.

I’d not trade this role for anything. No amount of money, no fancy vacation, no mansion. Nothing in this entire world compares to complete joy found solely in Him. Nothing.

Over and over I kept thanking Him for allowing me to lead these women. What an incredible honor and blessing. And to think, I almost missed it because I was afraid to give God my yes. My all in yes. My full submission yes. I almost missed the blessings He is raining on me.

Saying yes to God is the most humbling experience. That moment of total surrender, you realize how tiny you actually are in the sight of a mighty God. Yet, He reaches down and says, “I have special gifts for you. Open your hands, daughter. Receive what I have for you.”

Is there something God is asking you to say yes to? Don’t focus on the big yes’s. Where does it look small, but is actually enormous?

Is God asking you to turn your stay at home days into full time ministry? Right where you are, with the people you are already with? To become intentional in pointing your children to Jesus moment by moment? Don’t discount what seems small.

Is God asking you to say yes to a daily quiet time? To reading your Bible daily? To spending an hour a week talking to someone in a mentoring relationship? To serving in an area that feels uncomfortable?

Ask God today what it is He wants you to say yes to. Let’s spend our lives well. Every ounce poured out for Him, saving none for later. He will replenish daily. Remember the manna?

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