Are We Being Judgmental? – 50 Shades of Grey


When I posted What The Bible Says About 50 Shades of Grey, I was stunned that it went viral. Before writing that post, I literally sobbed to my husband because I knew so many of my christian sisters were being blinded by the enemy.

A nerve struck deep with many people. I wrote that post for my christian sisters. I specifically wrote that post to address the Biblical position of this book/movie in the life of a christian. And honestly, I barely scratched the surface. The post was short and to the point, but it resonated with many of you, who quickly spread it.

As our culture moves away from God, we are losing our senses. We are losing our ability to think for ourselves. We are becoming tolerant and believing the lies that we aren’t open-minded or that we are judgmental if we disagree with what we see in culture.

Over the next couple of days, I want to address some of the most common questions or comments I received. Today, we are exploring the question of “Aren’t we being judgmental?”

2 Timothy 4:2-5 (NLT)

2 Preach the word of God. Be prepared, whether the time is favorable or not. Patiently correct, rebuke, and encourage your people with good teaching. 3 For a time is coming when people will no longer listen to sound and wholesome teaching. They will follow their own desires and will look for teachers who will tell them whatever their itching ears want to hear. 4 They will reject the truth and chase after myths. 5 But you should keep a clear mind in every situation. Don’t be afraid of suffering for the Lord. Work at telling others the Good News, and fully carry out the ministry God has given you.

Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary says this “4:1-5 People will turn away from the truth, they will grow weary of the plain gospel of Christ, they will be greedy of fables, and take pleasure in them. People do so when they will not endure that preaching which is searching, plain, and to the purpose. Those who love souls must be ever watchful, must venture and bear all the painful effects of their faithfulness, and take all opportunities of making known the pure gospel.”

I love souls and can’t sit silent on this issue. Not to mention I am raising boys, who I pray will respect and honor women.

My post was not a judgement. The intent was an encouragement to the ones who have not read or seen it, an encouragement to stand strong for truth and oppose peer pressure, and to correct/rebuke thoughts and positions on the subject in the life of the christian.

Friends, we have the Word of God, the living Word, to guide, teach, and correct us. We have been granted access to the power of God in our lives. And we have been given permission to ask for wisdom. When we aren’t seeking wisdom, we are susceptible to believing the lies around us.

2 Timothy 3:16-17 New Living Translation

All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work.


We can’t stop going to God’s Word to test everything. That is where we find truth. We don’t believe it because a blogger said it. We don’t believe it because the media said it. We must test everything against scripture, especially when it is something as culturally shifting as erotica/porn becoming the new standard for book clubs and movie nights.

To navigate our culture we need wisdom, not worldly wisdom, but wisdom that only comes from God.

Proverbs 2:6 NIV

For the Lord gives wisdom. From his mouth come knowledge and understanding.

James 1:5 NLT

If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.

Here’s what happens when we lack wisdom:

Proverbs 9:13-18 13

The woman named Folly is brash. She is ignorant and doesn’t know it. She sits in her doorway on the heights overlooking the city. She calls out to men going by who are minding their own business. “Come in with me,” she urges the simple. To those who lack good judgment, she says,  “Stolen water is refreshing; food eaten in secret tastes the best!” But little do they know that the dead are there. Her guests are in the depths of the grave.

Quest Study Bible notes 9:17 “The intrigue and danger of being found out can add to sexual temptation. Doing something considered out of bounds offers a thrill or heightened sense of excitement. The euphoria, however, is short-lived and soon gives way to shame, self-loathing and regret.”

Friends, we aren’t being judgmental. When we see something that is sin in the life of our sister or brother in Christ, and we expose the sin, it’s not judgement. It’s love. It’s loving them enough to take on abuse and ridicule for the sake of their souls.

We aren’t judging the person, we are judging the action and loving the person.

Stay tuned this week when we discuss “Does God really care what we read and watch?” and “What’s the link to sex trafficking.”

[box] If you enjoyed today’s post, consider subscribing here to receive posts via email. Blog subscribers are entered in a quarterly drawing to win a $25 Stitch Fix gift card and will also receive a free Christmas ornament download that accompanies Seeking Christmas – Finding the True Meaning Through Family Traditions.[/box]


9 replies
  1. Alex
    Alex says:

    For argument’s sake, let’s say that seeing the movie or reading the book are wrong. The problem here isn’t that you can’t find biblical reasons to support that argument. You clearly have.
    I will challenge you however, to find an instance in scripture where Jesus used shame to bring people closer to his kingdom. Your February 5th post was absolutely full of shaming language, from the numerous implications that a Christian woman need not look anywhere but scripture for excitement and passion…to the absolute falsehood that watching a movie is the same as funding sex trafficking. Shame is never helpful if inspiring real change. It actually works against real change, building walls of defensiveness and cementing people’s current stance on any issue (as we’ve all seen in the comments from your last post). As a fellow Christian sister, I feel hurt and embarrassed when your brand of divisive, shaming faith gets viral Internet attention.

  2. Renee
    Renee says:

    Alex, thank you for taking the time to comment. I respectfully disagree with you, however. There wasn’t one shaming word in my post, nor am I one that uses shame to further the gospel. When we sin, we feel shame. That is the nature of sin. It shames us. Thank God He sent a Savior to take on the shame for us. The gospel is our shame placed on a perfect sinless Savior. Our culture is one that wants to claim we are “judging” or “shaming” when we call out sin. My post is directed toward the christian community, no one else, they are left to God’s judgement. But God has clearly called us to use scripture to teach, rebuke, and correct. If the use of scripture makes a christian feel shamed, they need only turn to God to repent and accept His always ready forgiveness. If you feel hurt or shamed from the scriptures I presented, it may be the conviction of the Holy Spirit who desires us to walk in His will because He loves us and wants the very best for us.I agree with you that shaming each other builds walls. I did not shame. I pointed toward truth. Truth convicts when we sin.God’s Word is living and active, sharper than any 2 edged sword. We don’t recognize sin because we don’t know His Word anymore. Blessings!

  3. Jennie
    Jennie says:

    Good job Renee! Thank you for being up front and honest. My husband, who is an abuse survivor, and I were side blinded in the theater by the trailer to this movie. That was a painful moment. Why, why, why does anyone think this sort of thing is right? Is there no more respect? Is there no more integrity? Is there no more honor? I will stand with you, sister! Keep up the good work!

  4. Renee
    Renee says:

    Jennie, I was blindsided in the theater as well. The trailer showed in a PG-13 movie! I complained to management and to corporate office and they removed the trailer. There were kids in there!

  5. Jill
    Jill says:

    I agree with Alex. Walls were very much built in that post I have to ask too if you have read all 3 of the books? You may have already answered this question and I can’t find it. I did see something that was shared on Facebook by a Fox news contributor that admitted to not reading the book but had read commentary.

  6. Renee
    Renee says:

    Hi Jill, thank you for your comment. I did not need to read the books to post on this topic. I don’t need to watch a murder to understand the evil and danger that guides it. I know enough about the subject matter to know that scripture is very clear this is not for the christian. If you are not a follower of Christ, this post is not written for you. I was very clear in my posts that I’m writing this as a believer to a believer. I’m not giving my thoughts to the world outside of the faith community. The Bible is clear that nonbelievers think foolish the things of God. So I don’t expect the world outside of believers to understand this post. So, again, for the believer only. The Fox news contributor’s post did not need to read the book to give her opinion. She wrote an Opinion piece and if you read her words, you would know that she had full authority to write what she did without knowing the nitty-gritty details in the book. Blessings!

  7. Janice
    Janice says:

    I am so surprised by Alex’s comment and I applaud you for the way you handled your response! I never felt shamed at reading your blog, I feel Alex may feel uncomfortable because as a Christian you were staing only the truth. Let her read her books, but will she really enjoy it!

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. […] Are We Being Judgmental? – 50 Shades of Grey […]

Comments are closed.