The Power of a Story and Help With Your Christmas Shopping

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I attended the Allume Conference a few weeks ago. I leisurely strolled the tables displaying businesses and products. None really grabbed my attention initially. It takes a lot to get me to stop if I think you want me to spend my money. So I’m very careful to move at an appropriate pace so as not to be caught.

When I reached the table for Ever Thine Home, I stopped. Willingly. Abruptly.

I love beautiful things, but I love beautiful things with meaning so much more. I don’t want a house full of beautiful things with no story. I want a home that tells a beautiful story.

The entire table of Ever Thine Home products was nothing but beautiful things that tell a story or help you share a story.

Stories. We are missing good stories today. We are too busy running after life and chasing what we will never catch. In the process, we are missing grasping the most beautiful gifts and moments wrapped in the package of a story.  Stories shared in relationships.

That is what captured my eye. A table full of beautiful home decor items that opened the door to the stories. That created a reason to unite in relationship.

I was drawn into this table and began talking with the lady at the table. She was so lovely – her name was Laura.

Her story captivated me. It’s her story I continue to hear the Lord whisper to me.

She told me how her mom was gifted artistically, but knew the Lord wanted her to lay down her talents for the season of raising her children. I believe they had 6 children. And it was AFTER her children were grown that the Lord led her to pick up the gifts and talents He’d given to her to create art to be used beyond her home.

I’ve thought of this many times over the weeks. What obedience. As moms it’s easy to feel that life is passing us by. When the Lord gifts us or places passions in us, it’s easy to believe He must want us to do something with them now. Right now.

I wonder sometimes if He allows us to see the gifts and talents He’s given us, yet He asks us to use those in our homes first. And to save the dreams for when He says Go. I wonder if we chase our bigger purposes and miss the greater purposes?

I’ve thought how much I admire Laura’s mom for her obedience. Obeying isn’t always easy. Especially when our gifts are itching to be used.

In the season of motherhood, those gifts are never wasted. They are used in the loveliest of ways right inside our homes. When they are given in our homes, they will reach outside the home. And then a season comes where the Lord might say, “Ok, now go.”

I likely scared poor Laura silly. I think when you set up a table, you are expecting to have to “sell” someone on your products. Tell them why they would love them. Laura didn’t have to sell me on a thing. I get it. So get it. And so want others to get it that my excitement can be a bit uncomfortable at times.

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So that is what happened when I discovered these Untie Your Story napkin ties. I started babbling about how much I’m in love with them before I’d even bought them.

 

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I bought every kind of Untie Your Story she had. Memories, Gratitude 1, and Gratitude 2.

And then I proceeded down the table. Ornaments. Oh goodness. One day my dream is to have Seeking Christmas ornaments produced and packaged and sold with the book. And part of the reason is that I never find beautiful Christmas ornaments that tell His story.

Until now. My friends, you are welcome.

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It’s hard for me to give a gift that simply has no meaning to it. These napkin ties, make the perfect gift to keep on hand. Teacher’s gift, a thank you gift, birthday gift. Obviously, Christmas gift.

We should really share stories more with each other. Remember my coffee post last week? Stories open doorways through which relationships enter.

Today, share a piece of you with someone. Tell a story. You never know how the Lord will use it in their life down the road.

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When We Feel Guilty If We Have Time For A Coffee Date

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Several years ago someone made a comment to me that I periodically think back on. She was making light, or making fun, of a conversation she overheard of another woman’s “important, busy day”. One that was filled with laundry and coffee with a friend.

I was taken aback, said nothing in response. I’ve thought of that conversation over the years.  Now shift direction with me for a minute.

About two weeks ago, the Lord did something very surprising in my life. But He began it months ago. Maybe years ago. At the end of the summer, I knew the Lord was telling me to lay down the book I was working on. I didn’t understand why, but I obeyed.

I stopped working on it. At the same time, I began to feel the urgency to pray. I wrote a little about it here. Mostly, I’ve held it close to my heart. It’s been a very personal and intimate time with the Lord.

I’ve not understood what He wanted me to do, so I did nothing different except spend more time with Him. Praying more. Studying more. Reading more.

In fact, so much for a few weeks, that I began to feel as if I were living in a false reality. My days that once seemed so productive took a sharp turn. I couldn’t quantify the efforts of my day. I knew I was exactly where He wanted me. I knew it was a season of time. I knew it made no sense, but does it ever make sense to us when we find ourselves simply sitting with Jesus not knowing what we are to do?

Restless. That was my heart. Something stirred and poked. Something I’d never experienced before.

I might jump back and forth a little, so stay with me. I think you are used to me by now. So this is no surprise.

This blog. You. Are my heart’s passion. Most of you I have never seen in person. Most of you I’ve never spoken with. Most of you I may never have an interaction with. But I love you. Truly love you. I pray for you constantly. My heart aches to encourage you to see God, to walk with Him intimately. But I just wish I could really see you. I want to hear your stories. I want to hear what God is doing in your life. Your stories would increase my faith and encourage me to walk faithful step by faithful step.

Then I started speaking. And the love for leading women only increased. Now I had a tiny glimpse of your stories. When you come talk to me afterwards and tell me how God spoke to you, you have no idea what that does to my faith. My passion for sharing with women.

My love for leading women has never waned. Writing on this blog has never one time felt like work. Preparing to speak has never one time felt like work. It is pure and utter joy. When I pray I thank God that He has allowed me this privilege.

During these past few months, I’ve known God was preparing me for something, but I’ve not known what it was. About 2 weeks ago, He showed me. And it was to lead the women’s ministry in my church.

One day I am going to share the neatest God story with you about this. But today is not the time.

I’m continuing to write here at the same pace I’ve always written. Basically, whenever the Lord directs. Once, twice, sometimes three times a week. It’s nice having no pressure to keep a schedule with you. Thank you for that gift.

I’m continuing to speak at any invitation the Lord brings. It’s one of the greatest surprise loves of my life. An area of ministry I once thanked God for not calling me into. He likely laughed as He thought, “Just wait.” Grateful for a God who laughs with me and pushes me to go to the place that feels foreign and terrifying.

And to this point, I wonder if you are thinking, “I don’t care to read a post all about her.” I hope not, but I felt I had to in order to lead you where I’m going with this post.

When I accepted the role as women’s ministry leader, my mind began to race. The passion and excitement, the opportunity, felt exhilarating. I love leading women to follow Jesus. Our church is amazing! We have an incredible foundation laid already. And the women in our church. Impossible not to love.

I woke from a dream and remembered the details and the Lord’s instruction. I fell back asleep and awoke to have forgotten the details, but the Lord’s instruction was clear. He said, “Abide in Me. Lead by example.” Here I was going into go mode, and God does what He does best. He goes against the natural process. Basically, He said, “It’s not go time. It’s abide in Me. Nothing changes. Show how.”

The last 2 weeks have been crazy busy. The next two are insane as I prepare to speak at a women’s retreat…5 sessions. And God is saying, “Abide.” And I’m all like, “But God! Don’t you see how much I have to do right now??”

Abide.

Abide in Me.

I’m trying to obey. It’s hard. Back to how I started this post.

2 weeks ago I had a lunch date I hadn’t planned for that day and a phone call with a friend not on my calendar. The two combined took up 3 of my 6 work hours. It ended up being the most important hours of my day apart from reading God’s Word.

Honestly. I didn’t plan for it. I didn’t have time for it. God spoke to me through both. The blessings were tremendous. Impossible to quantify.

Relationships. It’s the first thing we push aside when life gets busy.

Over the last 2 weeks I’ve become a professional coffee drinker. I think I’ve had a coffee meeting a day as I’m getting to know women at the church or work on various projects the Lord is bringing to me. I come away each time simply overwhelmed by what God does in a coffee date.

I remembered back to how I started this post. An “important” day couldn’t possibly be a coffee date. It’s too frivolous and luxurious. Life is too busy for much of that.

I disagree. When life is too busy to have coffee with a friend, something should change. I didn’t realize this until I spent the last 2 weeks having coffee dates with women I’m only now getting to know. Hearing their stories, and wanting to hear more.

We need each other. Desperately.

It’s not luxurious to schedule time to sit face to face or sit ear to ear on the phone. It could be the most important appointment of your day.

As women we can feel guilty if we make time to take a walk, meet for coffee, or chat on the phone. I say no more.

It’s that rebel girl that lives in me. We were created for relationship. In today’s culture, we kind of have to fight for it.

In a world that says to be important you must be crazy busy, I’m saying let’s let our crazy busy be sitting with Jesus and sitting with each other.

I say this on a day I had to reschedule a lunch with my two closest friends who wanted to take me out for my birthday. In some ways, it’s pretty ironic. But the thing is, I know the grace these two girls have. I know they fully understand where I am right now. The beauty of relationships. Lots of grace given when investments have been made.

Relationships. A gift. Such a gift. Worth every second of investment.

At 39 years old (as of yesterday), I’m only now beginning to see how the most seemingly insignificant uses of time are the most enriching.

To the world, we seem unimportant when our calendar is full of relationship kind of stuff. But we serve a God who does things upside down and inside out. Jesus was all about relationships.

Ultimately, I want to be like Jesus.

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An Alternative to Birthday Parties and Gifts

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Fall is birthday season in our home. Zachary kicks off with Labor Day, Andrew ends us on Thanksgiving Day (depending on the year), and Steve and I fall in between.

Rather than hosting birthday parties for the boys this year, we had an experience with each of them. For each child, we chose something different.

As their birthdays approached, we looked at how much money we spend even on the simplest of birthday parties. They receive toys they don’t really need. It’s fun, but it’s over within hours.

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Zachary is an adventure-seeker, he’s athletic and loves a challenge. He is also social, which means he would definitely want his brothers along rather than a private experience.

Andrew is not an adventure seeker, so for Zachary’s birthday we took Zachary, along with Jacob, to the U.S National Whitewater Center in North Carolina. Andrew happily spent the day with a friend and thanked us for not taking him along. Happy to oblige as we’ve had years of experience dragging him along on adventures he wants no part of.

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Jacob loves all things sports and is very much a quality time kinda guy. For his birthday, Steve and Jacob went to the Tennessee/Georgia football game. They woke up at 5:00 am, stopped for doughnuts, tailgated, watched the game, and spent the night in a hotel. Jacob said it was one of his best memories ever. (He says this frequently, but that’s ok. I hope to fill their memory tanks with lots of special times.)

Andrew’s birthday is Thanksgiving. Poor guy spends every single birthday driving in a car either to or from Atlanta. Andrew loves hotels. Any hotel, but particularly hotels with a breakfast buffet, an indoor pool, and an elevator. His birthday we will surprise him with a hotel night with the whole family.

Whenever we give Andrew the option to have one-on-one time, he always begs to bring his brothers along. He would NOT want a hotel night away from his brothers.

We will pack tons of games, a movie to watch in the room, swim in the pool, and eat pizza. He will love it!

We began giving our kids more experience gifts over material gifts a few years ago at Christmas. It is interesting to listen to their reflections. They rarely remember the gifts they open. Rarely. They never forget an experience, which creates a memory.

I’d love to hear how your family celebrates birthdays!

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A bowl of memories – when you want to give the best birthday gift ever

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Yesterday Steve turned 40. It’s interesting, this turning of another decade.

From 30 to 40 feels like 3 years. It might have been the fastest decade to this point.

My friend, Adina (you may know her as Take Them A Meal), gave me an idea I’ve been holding onto for Steve’s 40th. A gift that money can’t buy, one to hold for life.

I asked friends and family to send me a favorite memory of Steve. Over the last several days, the memories poured in. I laughed. I cried. I sighed. I pondered. More than anything, I was humbled. And I couldn’t wait for Steve to read the words of people who care so much for him.

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To celebrate Steve’s 40th, we cooked his favorite dinner. Country fried steak and gravy (something I only make every couple of years…too much grease, too much work), Pioneer Woman’s mac and cheese (the best ever ever ever), green beans, and biscuits. Topped off with pound cake, strawberries, and ice cream. Wishing you were with us?? It was every bite delicious. Worth every bit of all the hours it took to make.

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Steve’s a simple man. And birthdays in our home are a simple affair as you can see from the decor. We take what we have and make the best of it. If you didn’t know better, you might think we were celebrating the 101st day of school rather than a 40th.

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While we ate dinner, we explained that we had asked people to send us a memory. We passed the bowl of memories to Steve and watched each one transform his face.

He was two sentences in on the first memory card when the tears appeared.

I couldn’t take my eyes off our boys as they watched the emotional, tender side of dad on full display. Letter after letter, words upon words, each one unique in its own way.

A common theme presented itself in those memories. The little things matter. People matter. Relationships are priority.

This is what we were made for. Relationship.

I was struck by the sentiment in those letters. What stood out in many of the shared memories was that Steve cared. He simply cared.

He cared enough to ask about people and actually take the time to listen. He cared enough to pray for them. He cared enough to include them when others might not have. He loved first. He was slow to speak and quick to listen. He cared enough to not let differences in beliefs hinder the friendship.

No matter what memory was written, all I heard was, “he cared so much about me…..”

Don’t we all want to know someone cares? 

After the bowl of memories lay open and exposed on the table, one thought remained. The little things matter. The simple ways we treat people matter.

Don’t discount the small.

Relationships. We were made to be in relationship with God and people. People matter.

The little things are bigger than we will ever realize. The words we choose to speak. The look we choose to give. The leaning in when leaning away is easiest.

We care big through the littles.

As the evening came to a close, I saw how moved Steve was by the words now written for him to hold onto.

Words matter.

A sampling of the little ways Steve’s impacted the lives of others are now written. He has them to hold onto, to remember again. To be encouraged when he needs encouragement. To be reminded how important the smallest things really are.

Rarely do we take the time to tell someone how they have impacted our lives. I can list 100 different ways people have shaped my thoughts and my heart by the tiny examples they’ve served me. Yet, I rarely tell the person.

What a gift to hear that how we treat people matters. How we invest in relationships is immeasurable.

The notes the boys wrote Steve were priceless. Each boy told me there is no favorite memory because there are just too many. They eventually settled on one each and wrote heartfelt letters. But Andrew’s letter was precious. He wrote every single word, and it started with “Dad, this is Andrew.” 🙂 Precious. He ended the letter with, “I love you because you love us first.”

We all want to be loved first. And we are. And that is why we can love. 

We love each other because he loved us first.

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Love well. Love hard. Love deep. 

Love in the little ways because they dig the deepest roots.

Love others today well. Let them know they matter in the smallest of ways. You may never know the impact you are making, but when you are investing in relationships, you are changing the world.

If you want to give someone the very best birthday gift ever, make them a bowl of memories. Collect little notes from people in their life. I promise it will be one of the best gifts they will ever receive.

We all want to know we are making a difference. And when we see how deeply we are impacting hearts, it wrecks our own heart.

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What if the best moments are the ones we’d never choose?

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I frequently find myself in moments I would not choose if given the choice. That awkward conversation that must take place. That tantrum throwing point of no return. That seat assigned among strangers that all know each other. That piece of information shared I wish I didn’t know and sit wondering what to do with it now.

Moment after moment after moment we find ourselves in an array of situations. Some days I want to throw my hands in the air and say, “Lord, today can I just have everything fall into perfect place?”

Essentially, I’m asking for life to be just the way I think is best. But I’m learning each day that the very best might be the last thing I would choose.

Join me over at Lift Up Your Day where I’m writing about what it would look like if we could handpick our moments.

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Lord, help me. I’m about to blow it with my kids.

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The whirlwind called morning finally landed us in the car heading to school. As we began our 25 minute commute with christian music filling the silence, I felt my heart rate slow.

My frustration and anger brimming over how 4 of us sinful beings can bring out the nasty in each other when hunger and tired eyes present themselves in the wee hours of the mornings.

Buttons aren’t merely pushed, they are held down with force until the other person can take no more. The cycle begins. Honestly, it doesn’t matter what system we use (and trust me we’ve tried many). We do the whole ‘set your clothes out the night before’, ‘don’t come downstairs until clothes on, beds made, teeth brushed’, ‘pack your lunch the night before.’ We do all that.

We are as Pinterest-pretty organized as humanely possible. We’ve even done the cutesy charts, which my boys dislike greatly.

Sin doesn’t cower or bow to systems, organization, or good intentions.

Sin is present on the inside no matter what we attempt to do on the outside. It’s in the heart the battle is waged.

Since my boys were tiny, all we’ve ever listened to is christian music. K-Love is the only station programmed in my car. Because I NEED it. They NEED it. I need to at every minute be reminded of truth.

The in-between time is when truth seeps in.

In between the battles of sin is when the Holy Spirit begins whispering to me. Often these in between moments place me in the car, listening to truth sung over airwaves.

This morning was no exception. Everyone followed the system. But brother aggravated brother, brother hit brother, brother used words as weapons, brother cried hard. And mother?

Well, mother tried to ignore. She prayed silently the Lord would intervene and grip their hearts. Then the Lord didn’t answer as quickly as one hopes. So sin won out as my tone turned sharp, my blood pressure rose, I proceeded the daily lecture on the attitudes of the heart.

And then we made it to the car. K-Love played songs of the power of the cross, sin has no power. My shoulders began to let go of the tension.

The music ended as the disc jockeys began to speak on their annual fundraising drive. Normally, my boys love listening to this. They love hearing the testimonies of lives changed when people listen to christian music.

Today the D.J asked, “Do you feel the tug on your heart?”

Andrew asked, “Mom, what’s a tug on your heart mean?”

“Well, you know how when you act ugly, then you come to me later and tell me that your heart hurts, and we talk about how that is the Holy Spirit speaking to you, instructing your heart? Well, that is what it means when someone says that God is tugging at your heart. It’s the Holy Spirit speaking to you.”

“Hmmm.”

The D.Js began using analogies of tug boats and they ran hard with the use of the word tug.

Andrew became more and more agitated with each use of the word tug.

“Mom, turn it off. I don’t want to hear them talking about tugging anymore. I can’t take it!”

“Andrew, I’m not turning it off because the rest of us want to listen.”

After asking 5 more times, he realized I wouldn’t turn it off, so he decided he would simply ruin it for the rest of us. He moaned and wailed loudly. He rolled his window down to freeze us out. He covered his ears proclaiming, “I can’t stand to hear about the tug.”

Lord, help me. Please keep me calm and patient because I feel I’m on the verge of exploding.

I tried using reason. But have you ever tried to reason with someone out of their mind at the moment? Reason makes no sense to them.

In a perfect world, I would gently and lovingly talk to my child about how we by nature are sinful creatures and aren’t we thankful we have Jesus. That we are selfish and think more of ourselves than we think of others. Aren’t we glad for Jesus? And for some moms, this works. This would work on Jacob and Zachary. They have completely different personality types.

But when your child is cemented in his ways, no sweet words are going to do the magic trick.

Lord, help me. I need you to make me the parent you want me to be. Because, Lord, right now I’m about to blow it. Help me.

We parked the car. The sweet girl we carpool with and Zachary scurry away inside the building. Jacob hangs with me. Andrew continues digging in. Refusing to walk into school. Anything he can to push me over the edge. I’m tottering. I’m swaying. When will I tip?

Jacob is trying to get my attention. He has big issues. Forgotten homework, lost piece of paper. Big in a 12 year old world. He’s got a mama who is at the school for a conference in her wet hair pulled in a ponytail about to football carry a 60 pound child and leave him at the door of his classroom.

Lord, help me. 

I finally deposited him in the school. I made my way to Jacob’s teacher for our conference. I entered her classroom, which was the most glorious shade of quiet. I sat in the chair, and my shoulders released that tension again. It was the in-between. Praise for the in-between.

The in-between is the gift He gives us. The in-between is when we can release all that tension back to Him, to soak up the silence of that moment – however brief it may be.

The in-between is when we are most likely to hear God speak to us.

The in-between is when we feel that tug. That tug that sent Andrew on a spiral descent.

I ended my conference. I got in my car. Another in-between. Silence to reflect. To pray. To listen.

The tug was physically painful for Andrew to listen to. Physically painful. If you heard how my car sounded this morning, you would get what I’m saying.

The enemy knows the power of that tug. He’s no idiot. He knows that if we obey that tug, he loses in an instant. That tug is the last thing he wants us to be aware of. He wants us to ignore the tug.

Andrew fought the tug. Fought hard.

Normally, I would’ve lost it. This morning, by God’s grace, I didn’t simply because I couldn’t. I had to drive carpool. I had a conference at 7:30 am.

Temptation was great for me to lay into Andrew for his poor behavior. For his selfishness. For his anger outburst. If I wanted I could justify my position. I could do all of that.

When temptation is great to sin, He always leaves a door of escape open for us. I’ve found the door of escape easiest to take is a simple silent, “Lord, help me. I need you right now.”

I can’t control my children. Parenting is the greatest display of my weaknesses. I can write about the Lord. I can sit and speak with women about our need for Jesus. Then my children can push me to the point of questioning why in the world the Lord could possibly use me in ministry.

Fight the temptation to go there, friends. When our thoughts go to how awful we are, we begin to think too much of ourself and not enough of Him. These are the moments to fix our eyes on Him. Off us, on Him.

Eyes off us, eyes on Him.

Then that tug comes. That tug that reminds me that He uses us when we are completely dependent on Him. He’s not looking for a perfect mom. He’s not looking for the Pinterest perfect morning routine. He’s looking for a heart that loves Him and cries out for Him.

So we pray for our hearts. We pray for our children. We let the tugging begin. We don’t resist the tug. We let Him tug us all the way to Him. We let go, falling completely into Him. He lifts us up. He strengthens us for the job. He sends us back out, still holding that rope to Him. Too much slack, He’ll gently tug. In desperate times, He’ll pull with full force. He never lets go.

Don’t let go of that rope today. Hold tight, so you feel His tugs. The gentle and the firm. Loosen your grip so you can fall into Him today.

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When You Are In Need of a Simple Smile

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A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22

After days and days of rain, we are in the land of sunshine now. I forget how grateful I am for simple pleasures until they are removed.

It’s been weeks since I’ve gone for a run. Partly because of the weather, partly because I’ve had too much on the calendar that seemed more important. But every time I run, I remember that I should make it a priority. I just feel happier afterwards.

The last several weeks the Lord has been pressing into me strongly. He’s been speaking loudly, and my heart has been bursting with an assortment of emotions.

Passions He’s placed in me are brimming. He’s calling me in areas of my ministry that He hasn’t before. And I’m walking, I’m following, I believe I’m obeying. At least at this moment.

There are things He is illuminating that usher into my heart a heaviness mixed with a deeper devotion and passion to serve Him.

When I set pace on my run, it was with a sense of burden, a desire to pray the entire run. I often have great intentions to pray the entire run, then my mind takes flight with my feet. Today was no exception. I started in prayer, but then the oddest things began to happen.

Every person I passed smiled at me like they knew me. The first couple of times, I brushed it off thinking it is just the sunshine. I mean when you are cooped up for 7-10 days and the Lord brings sun, the world is a happier place no doubt.

I met those smiling faces with a matching smile.

And my heart felt happy.

I got to the turn around and headed back. I lifted my head in time to catch the expressions of 2 elderly walking their dog. They BOTH were gazing at me with this smile that went beyond happy. Almost eery. As in I began asking the Lord if I had entered the twilight zone or was I dead and didn’t know it because all these people were just randomly smiling at me. Did these people know something I didn’t???

I passed another runner about 1 minute later. I had on no sunglasses and the sun was blinding, so I couldn’t see her face until she passed me.

And she was smiling at me too. I met her smiling face with a matching smile.

And my heart felt happy.

I started up the last of the big hills before nearing my home. I passed 2 more people. And yes, you are good….they were smiling too.

Now, I live in a super friendly community. Super friendly. It is not odd that people smile here. It was odd how they were smiling. It wasn’t just a little half smile to say hello. It was a really happy, fill up your face kind of smile, with eyes that really looked at me.

I met their smiling faces with a matching smile.

And my heart felt happy.

I got to the crosswalk, all lanes stopped. I looked up and someone in their car was smiling. This smile made my smile the biggest yet. It was such a genuine smile that I honestly couldn’t help but match that kind of smile.

And my heart felt happy.

And then I got it.

Yes, Lord, you are in the little moments of my day. My feet hit the ground running, with a heavy heart in need of a smile. And you were certain to bring me so many smiles that it was impossible for me to miss each one. And when I smiled back, my heart felt happy.

Thank you, Lord, for the gift of a smile. Thank you for the person willing to deliver the smile. Thank you for intersecting my ordinary day to bring me exactly what I need.

Today, let us smile at strangers like we really know them. May they be blessed by a smile and their hearts feel happy.

The Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; Numbers 6:25

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