Our family has been under heavy attack over the last several weeks. We are tired, spent, and somewhat shaken. The enemy has used many tactics against us, and we are rallying right now. The enemy has attacked through health. We’ve been attacked through broken and hurting relationships. We’ve been attacked through daily choices. We’ve been attacked in our schedules and ministries. At times over the past few weeks, I’ve wanted to find a corner, ball up, cover my head, and wait for it to pass.
Stronger than the desire to escape is this desire to fight back.
Last week our son had his knee aspirated not once, but twice. The doctor laid him back on the bed and told him it would be alright. Zachary knew nothing about that needle was alright. I gripped his hands in mine and rested my forearms across his chest, blocking his view of the doctor, the nurses, the needles. His eyes took on a wildness I’ve never seen. His scream was terror I’ve never heard from him. I placed my lips on his wet forehead, kissing away the beads of sweat, whispering with a calm that came not from my own strength. It’s almost over. It’s almost over.
Dear God, I can’t bear watching my son hurt this way. This pain is more than he can bear. Help him.
Pulling back from his forehead, I looked into his eyes. My heart raced as I watched his eyes. His eyes turned to glass, he looked far beyond me. Though I held his face 3 inches from mine, he seemed to look miles beyond me. His eyes fluttered and rolled back, all the tension released from his body as I held him.
I swallowed panic and called his name repeatedly. “I feel like I’m falling asleep.” And his body limp lay in peace as they drained fluid from his knee and injected him with steroids. His body gave up the fight. Surrendered.
Lord, I give up the fight. I surrender to you. Fight for me, because I can’t fight on my own.
I often hear people say, “The Lord will not give you more than you can bear.” This is a lie. If he never gave us more than we could bear, why in Heaven’s name, would he need to die on the cross for us? Why? If we can handle it all on our own, then we don’t need him. No, this is not true. We face more than we can bear. This life at times is more than we can bear.
The fear that kidnapped my son was more than he could bear. He could not handle the stress and trauma of that needle jabbed into his leg, sucking the fluid, feeling intensely the pull of the needle. No, he couldn’t bear it.
The enemy. Prowling like a lion. Seeking to steal, kill, and destroy. Oh, he wants us to believe God won’t give us more than we can handle. He loves when scripture is tossed around loosely in this way. He loves when God’s words are twisted and turned to suit his purposes.
1 Corinthians 10:13
No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.
When I’m tempted to stop believing that God is on my side, He has provided a way out of my unbelief so I can endure this. When I’m tempted to believe this situation is hopeless, He has provided a way out of the temptation I face to give in to the apparent hopelessness.
He allows us to face what we can’t bear. He died on the cross and bore what we couldn’t bear. As nails bore into him, He took what we couldn’t take. He took away our sins. He made a way for us to spend eternity with him. He left us with power to face this life.
I asked my husband if we could just cancel our Thanksgiving plans. Stay home, recover. I don’t feel I have the energy to pack, to plan, to travel, then to come back and speak and carry out my ministry. We are on the brink of the advent season. My heart beats strong to encourage you to slow and seek Him this season. Yet I feel exhausted right now from the battles I’m facing with the enemy of our soul. My husband called me and said two words. Dig deep.
Friends, we have to dig deep. Deep calls to deep.
Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me.
On the surface we can fight in our own strength. When we dig deep, we discover the power that lives in us. His Holy Spirit in each believer, giving power to fight the enemy.
Yes, this life will give us more than we can bear. He died and rose again so that He could leave us with the power to bear all things we can’t bear on our own. Let His waves and breakers sweep over you today. Allow Him to be the power you need to face what you can’t face.
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