Family + Life + Parenting Archives - Page 19 of 31

Enormous blessings hidden in ordinary moments

May 4, 2015/in Family + Parenting, Uncategorized /by Renee

I laced up my running shoes after Andrew was in bed, the older boys getting settled down for the night. For years running has been “me” time, time alone to think, to get away. As the boys have gotten older, that is changing. Funny, how you don’t notice the change sometimes until it’s fully upon you. Now instead of trying to get away from them, I’m trying to figure out how to have time with them.

When Zachary asked if he could join me on a run, I was quick to say yes. It’s hard fitting in one-on-one time when you have three boys, and they all play sports, and school, and therapies, and life, and me and Steve taking time for each other. We periodically plan special outings individually with our kids, but more often we use the everyday, ordinary times and turn them into intentional times of togetherness apart from everyone else. Like a run. Like a walk, like a sitting on the porch together, like a bike ride to get ice cream, like a trip to Home Depot and only one goes along.

I have to shut down the Facebook and Pinterest images of the fun and exciting date nights I see others taking and remind myself that any moment can be made special when we are simply together, enjoying each other. The moments don’t have to be extravagant and post worthy. We just have to be together. Usually the simpler, more spontaneous ones are the ones that I hold dearest to my heart.

I love being alone with my boys. They are different creatures completely when they don’t have someone poking a weak spot or shimmying their way in the spotlight, when they don’t have to be the most interesting to be heard, or the loudest, when there are no starts and stops. I feel like when I have my boys alone, I see who they really are.

So Zachary and I set out for the trails taking Macy, our 2 year old Schnoodle, along. By the way, do you know how funny it feels to run with a lap dog? Macy runs. Fast. She never tires. It is an odd feeling to run and have passing cars slow to watch you run by with this little white lightning dog. Sadly, my run is so slow, she looks more like a fast walking dog than a running dog.

The first half mile, we were at a great pace. Zachary is full of conversation. Macy is trying to pull us faster along the trail. We get to a point of deciding left or right. Right would be a three mile run. Left would be just over a 2 mile run. Zachary chose left, and we continued on our way. I made mention of running slow. He responded that yes, I was indeed very slow, and he was having to force himself to run slow so we could talk. Finally, his energy and young legs got the best of him, and he decided he would do sprints. Sprinting ahead and back to me where we could keep pace together until his next sprint.

Seriously?? I’m getting old, old, old.

We came back to the earlier point of the trail where he chose left for the short run. I thought we would head right, right back home. He chose to continue on adding an additional mile to our run!

Oh my dear. When did my children get to the point they can truly smoke me on the trails?

Then it hit me. My son is running. My son with Lyme disease is running. As I watched him sprinting back and forth, laughing in the wind, Macy tangled in a leash, him jumping over her laughing the whole time, I was overwhelmed.

5 months ago his knee was so filled with fluid, he couldn’t walk. He cried like I’ve never heard him cry before. “I just want to run again, and play with my friends.” My heart ached for those things too, but fully trusting in the Lord’s good purposes. Watching Zachary begin to express that he felt God allowed him to get Lyme to help others. My heart bursting with this unexplainable desire to take it all away but at the same time thanking God for showing me just the smallest opening into Zachary’s heart being used by God.

Feet pounding pavement, heart pounding out of my chest, and absolutely overcome by thankfulness that I had this moment with my son. To watch him run with ease, to watch him laugh with no pain. To see no fear in his eyes, only sheer joy. And this realization that each moment is an utter gift. I don’t want to live in fear of what may come for him, I want to live moment by moment grateful for the Lord’s work in his life, no matter what it may look like.

Honestly, it’s what I want for everything in my life. An awareness to the gift of each moment God brings my way. Some moments are so obvious, but some take a bit of hunting down or digging out. He is in each one. My constant prayer is that I’m wildly aware of His Presence.

9 more days of school for my boys. They are almost home. So many more of these ordinary, everyday moments lie ahead of us. A summer of intentional moments waiting to give birth. We aren’t making bucket lists this year. We aren’t making elaborate plans. We are simply going to enjoy the moments we have, taking hold of each one and making the most out of what we have.

We would appreciate your continued prayers for Zachary. He is doing so well and the Lyme has caused no further complications. The doctors have said it could remain dormant or wake back up. We rejoice in his good health and pray for continued health and our faith to squash the fear of what if.

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Entertain Your Kids For Hours – And Feel Good About It

April 27, 2015/in Family + Parenting, Uncategorized /by Renee

About 5 years ago, Jacob received what I consider one of the best Christmas gifts he’s ever received. The radio theater presentation of The Chronicles of Narnia.

My boys have always loved the Narnia series. When they were young, we read the picture book versions. They also have the boxed set they’ve read countless times.

From the time they were about 1, 4, and 6, our boys have listened to hours upon hours of this radio theater collection. It’s never gotten old. It’s been on long car rides (22 hours of drama). It’s provided hours of entertainment during the long hot days of summer. It’s warmed hearts on snowy days. It’s listened to at night as they wind down for bed. It’s played when they clean their rooms. It’s taken the place video games would like to hold.

My boys go through phases with everything. Everything except Narnia. This is no ordinary audiobook. It’s not a reading of the books. It’s an actual drama presentation. As you listen, you are swept away into the land only the mind of C.S. Lewis could create.

This set is targeted for ages 8-12, but in my opinion, it crosses all ages. Adults and children of all ages will be entertained, enlightened, and inspired through this collection.

When Jacob received this set for Christmas, we had no idea how well-loved it would be in our home.

The other night as Zachary wound down for bed, he said, “Mom, I don’t know why, but when I listen to these CD’s, they just seem to calm me. I feel so relaxed and at peace.” Over the weeks, he has begun to share the connections he is making to his spiritual life and what he is listening to.

What we feed our mind, we feed our soul. What a privilege to intentionally invest in feeding the hearts, souls, and minds of our children.

If you are looking to stock up for the summer on intentional tools to pass the time while investing in the hearts and minds of your children, I highly recommend this set. It would be a great “Happy Summer and great job this school year!” gift. I also think it’s a great gift to give the recent grad who will be heading off to college, possibly spending hours in the car. If you are taking a cross country trip, this will absolutely captivate your kids, and you will hear far fewer ‘are we there yet’s?’

***As we head into summer, I’ll be sharing more of our very favorites. Some of the links I provide are affiliate links. Through affiliate links, I’m able to cover a small portion of the costs associated with running a website. I only recommend products I absolutely love, and I do appreciate you shopping with these links. ***

Know Your Child So You Can Know How to Communicate With Them

April 17, 2015/in Family + Parenting, Uncategorized /by Renee

One of the biggest surprises of parenting is that I would have to change as much as I’m having to change. Daily. I knew that all kids were different. I knew there would be joys and challenges alike. But I didn’t realize that in almost every moment of my parenting, I would have to learn to adapt to their uniqueness. I would have to learn to become more flexible, think outside the box, work well in chaos and under pressure.

The area that challenges me the most is communication. I used to believe I was a good communicator. Until I began to see a pattern with my kids in moments of conflict. I clearly stated my position to my kids only to receive blank stares or words thrown back to me that showed they clearly didn’t understand me.

It was only as I began to notice something about myself that I could relate to one of my sons. When someone confronts me with an issue or a disagreement, I feel my mind is racing to try to make sense of it. Often it is after I leave the situation that I’m able to think clearly and understand how I feel about the problem. Sometimes I begin to see the other person’s point, sometimes I see why I reacted a certain way. But never when I’m in the heated discussion am I ever able to put clear words to my thoughts and actions. And rarely can I apologize right then in the moment. I have to have time for my mind and heart to catch pace with each other.

Now pair this with someone who is very decisive and action-oriented. They think quick, move quick, and are always ready to resolve immediately. Communication becomes tricky.

It’s even tricky when paired with someone who communicates just like you.

Understanding how the other person communicates is key to truly communicating effectively.

In communicating with our kids, the message is lost if we fail to use the method they receive best.

[Tweet “In communicating with our kids, the message is lost if we fail to use the method they receive.”]

Jacob and I are very similar in our personalities and our communication styles. We are both of the more sensitive and introspective nature. For years I spent too much time in “talks” and lectures with him where I just wanted him to understand my point. He would become emotional, at which point I realized he was unable to hear my words. I would say the same thing over and over in different ways as clearly as possible and he didn’t get it. Not only did he not get it, he would argue me harder. We both left frustrated and misunderstood.

I took notice of how I come around to another person’s point of view or at least understand why they took their position. It’s when I’m given time to think and process and when the person has spoken respectfully or gently to me that their message gets through to me. When a voice is raised, my ears shut off. (Though I still do this far too often with my kids) When someone uses sarcasm with me, it shuts me down. On the other hand, with gentleness I’m persuaded because I feel that person is not fighting against me, but they are on my side, only seeing a different view than I’m seeing.

Knowing this about myself, and knowing Jacob and I are very similar in these ways, has led me to try this approach with him on a few occasions.

When he speaks disrespectfully, I can tell him gently that his tone was disrespectful and walk away, giving him time and space to come to his own understanding. Usually when I revisit, he has softened, he apologizes, he sees his own sin in the situation. But if I am sharp in response to his disrespect, if I demand he apologize right then and there because I deserve his respect, he’s wrong and I’m right, well, I’m the one who loses in the end. He may be bullied by me into apologizing, I get my way by force, but his heart never had a chance to move in the direction I truly hoped for.

I wish I had figured this out earlier than year 11, but praise God He continues to give us wisdom and insight as we ask Him.

I can’t use these same communication skills with my other 2 children. Andrew wants few words and quick resolve. Give him his consequence and move on. That is his strong-willed nature. Zachary is very fast to see the parts he played, he is quick to seek forgiveness, and he wants the words and conversations that follow as well. All three are completely different.

To parent well, we are wise to become communicators who master different styles. How? Ask God to give us wisdom.

Impactful leaders are effective communicators who have learned that their methods much change depending on who they are communicating with. In the business world, we remember this. On a stage speaking to an audience, this is commonsense. In our homes, we quickly forget. We are tempted to fall into a thought process that says I’m the parent, it is this way, you know me, so you should get my message. Speaking for myself here. They don’t. They are kids. They are adults in training. They are leaders in training.

We are raising leaders! When I think of my parenting from that perspective everything shifts. Everything.

In all of our communication styles, kindness always wins. It is the Lord’s kindness that brings us to repentance. We model Jesus to our kids when we use our kindness to bring them to repentance as well.

Lord, let me not forget that I’m in this parenting thing for the long haul. That I don’t have to win the daily battles to raise these kids. Instead show me how to communicate with each of them in ways they can receive that turn them towards you and not away. I need daily, moment by moment help with this. I can’t parent on my own. Amen

Romans 2:4

Don’t you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Does this mean nothing to you? Can’t you see that his kindness is intended to turn you from your sin?

Dear Kids – A Little Secret About What Electronics Is Stealing From You

April 15, 2015/in Electronics, Family + Parenting, Uncategorized /by Renee

Today’s post comes at the request of readers – for your kids, my kids, your grandkids. This is an open letter to kids of ages approximately 9-14 growing up in a digital age.

Dear Kids,

I have a little secret I want to share with you. Electronics are stealing something away from you, and you have no idea.

In this entire world, there is not a single person like you. Think on that. You are unique, you have something to offer this world, you have discoveries to make and ideas to form. Your life will tell a story one day. In fact, every day is like writing a page in the story book of your life. Have you ever thought of your life as a story?

You know what makes a story interesting? A collection of unique, different stories that when put together make a story you can’t put down. A boring story is one that tells the same story from page to page.

Think of your day today and all the little moments you experienced. That really funny joke that made you laugh until your sides hurt. Or that unexpected thing someone said that made you spit milk through your nose doubled over in a deep belly laugh. Then discovering that laughing is contagious when your friends start laughing with you. The moment your brother or sister said something that aggravated you and how in the span of 2 minutes you could go from angry to laughing. That embarrassing moment during recess that you wish you could erase but you know that one day it will tell a very funny story.

Your life is a collection of moments. Moments become memories. Memories are a gift and a treasure.

You are a moment collector, memory creator, and a master storyteller.

Memories make us smile, cry, and laugh. Memories comfort us when we are sad and make us smile when we want to cry. Memories can teach us lessons, and they remind us that we are special, that we are loved, that we are known. Our memories tell a story unlike anyone else’s story. It’s yours and yours alone. How cool is that?

Now let me ask you a question to think about. When you think of memories, do visions of video games play in your head? When you think of moments that you want to remember forever, are you thinking back to when you defeated that last level?

You know what electronics, devices, screens, and video games are stealing from you? Time.

When electronic devices steal your time, they steal your moments that could’ve been. When it takes your moments, it takes your memories that never had a chance to form. When it takes your memories, it takes your story and makes it boring because it all looks the same.

If your story is one big video game, it will be a pretty boring story to tell one day. And you aren’t boring. You are unique and one-of-a-kind.

Kids, you were created by God- for a purpose. You were made for more than conquering boards and clashing clans. You were created for a unique purpose and no one can tell the story of your life like you can.

[Tweet “Kids were created for more than conquering boards and clashing clans.”]

Now, that doesn’t mean you should NEVER be on a screen. That is silly given the world we live in. It doesn’t mean if you like video games, you will be boring. My boys love video games, and they are the most interesting kids I know, but I’m biased. So let’s explore this a little more because I’m not saying you should never be on a device.

What I want you to hear is that devices secretly control us, but they make us think we control them. And when they control us, they steal our time and make us miss out on making our story interesting.

It’s the reason you find yourself talking about it non-stop with your friends, or rushing through homework so you can go play a video game, or not really wanting to talk to your mom about your day because you have wars to fight in a make-believe world. We think we control electronics, but they can easily control us.

Life happens only once. Childhood is experienced only one time by each person. It’s not a video game where we get a ‘2nd life’ to play the board of childhood again.

[Tweet “Life isn’t a videogame where we get a 2nd second chance to play the board of childhood again”]

Have you ever noticed that when you play a video game, 30 minutes actually feels like 5? That is how fast childhood goes as well. 18 years will feel like 5.

When your eyes are on a screen, you will never see what you are missing. You will never know what could’ve been if you had just looked up. And that is why I urgently want you to understand this.

You don’t know what you are missing because you are having so much fun playing on a device. You are entertained, so you don’t feel you are missing out on anything. You are having fun. But life is more than being entertained. Life is for living, creating, playing, and feeling. Nothing you experience on a screen can come close to what God has for you in the real life world He’s placed you in. Don’t accept 2nd, 3rd or last best for your life. Accept your best life now, which is the very place God has placed you.

The thing is…when you are a child, you can’t see this. It’s only when you look back that you can fully understand the treasure of childhood. Trust me, put down the devices and go be a kid. You will never regret putting down a device, but you could regret spending some of the best years of your life in make-believe worlds.

I have a few more things to share with you to encourage you to put the screen down and go enjoy this life. I will be writing you another letter or two on this subject looking at different perspectives. I hope you will keep reading.

In the meantime, I have a little challenge for you if you are up for it? Are you?

This week’s challenge is to make one small change in your electronic life. That will look different for everyone (remember we are each unique and have a different story, so yours will look different than your best friend’s). Maybe if you play your device everyday, you choose 3 days to play. Maybe if you always take it in the car, you start leaving it at home. Maybe if you always discuss it with your friend, you choose something different to talk about. Maybe if your parents let you play as long as you want, you set a timer for 30 minutes instead. There are many small changes you can make. Choose one for a week and write a list of how your moments looked different when you took your time back from the devices.

Love,

Renee

I Want To Raise Boys to Be Culture Warriors

April 1, 2015/in Everyday Faith, Family + Parenting, Uncategorized /by Renee

We were in NYC a few months ago- me, my sister, niece, and mom. The cold rain could not stop us from hopping on and off that tour bus to get us to the next shopping location. Finally shopped out, we hopped on and didn’t want to hop back off.

We had the whole bus to ourselves, and I sat relieved to sit in dry warmth. My achy feet thanked me profusely. We welcomed the next 20ish minutes to sit, thaw, and relax.

The bus stopped at the next stop, and the next thing I knew I was exiting the bus not at our stop, which was still many stops ahead. The driver said something I couldn’t understand, we filed out and hopped on the bus waiting at the stop ahead of us. This bus was packed full, standing room only. And the standing room section dripped water. Cold and wet again.

Then it dawned on me to ask what in the world we were doing. None of us really knew why we got off and got on another bus, so we asked the attendant to explain. She had no explanation.

The longer I thought about it, the more I fumed. Not so much at the bus company, but at myself for blindly following and asking not one question.

The very next stop, we hopped off that crowded, cold, wet bus and hopped back on our dry, warm, full of open seats bus. We asked the attendant why he instructed us to get off. He offered no really good reason.

I couldn’t help but think about how we so often do this in life. We just follow the ways of the world. The paths others follow. We assume because they are going that way, it must be safe for us to follow.

God gave us brains to think critically. I want my boys to think. Really think.

Our culture can at times forget to think. We let others think for us. We believe every new study published is truth. Or we believe because it’s available to us, it’s safe for us. We believe every article posted on Facebook is laced with wisdom. We follow the masses with each new wave of thought and change that presents itself.

We fear being different. We fear being wrong, so we keep our thoughts quietly locked away. We silence our questions and tell ourselves if everyone else is doing it, it must be ok.

Culture is always changing. It’s changed since the beginning of time, it will change until the end of time.

I read articles in the news that cause me to gasp that we’ve come so far. As we drove to school one morning, Jacob said, “Mom, I just don’t get it. Our nation was built on Biblical principles. We are a nation under God, but we are trying to take “In God We Trust” off our money, and we are taking prayer out of schools. Why are we doing these things?”

Small steps, one by one, we follow the way of the world. And one by one, we can take small steps that oppose the way of the world that leads back to God.

I reminded Jacob of a friend of mine who defends religious liberties, who stands up for the voice of the unborn. And then I reminded him of the most important tool we have. Prayer. Prayer is what can change a nation, a culture, a generation. Prayer changes everything.

He is seeing it first-hand. He came home from school sharing about some issues that are weighing heavily on him. They are out of our control. So we decided we would pray so God could change the situations. And He is! Jacob is seeing God work out what he was powerless to affect.

Raising kids seems intimidating in this age, but it’s really an unbelievable opportunity and privilege. We get to be part of standing with God, laying our requests at His feet, and watching Him perform miracles.

We can’t stop believing that God is at work in our nation and in our homes. We can’t stop praying for this generation we are raising. We can’t just pray for our own kids, we have to pray for all kids. Praying they love God wholeheartedly, use their brains to think and act for God.

Micah 6:8 “He has told you, O man, what is good; And what does the LORD require of you But to do justice, to love kindness, And to walk humbly with your God?”

When We Wonder When It Will Finally Be Our Turn

March 30, 2015/in Everyday Faith, Family + Parenting, Uncategorized /by Renee

When you are the youngest of 3 boys, you watch your big brothers with exuberant anticipation for the day you can stand in their shoes. When your older brothers play baseball, you can throw and catch before you can recite your ABC’s or write anything legible. You learn the rules of the game before you understand that life is a never-ending, always learning game where we win some, we lose some.

When you are the youngest, you spend years outfitting yourself in another’s uniform. You watch the big guys play. You learn from their errors. You study their batting stance, you understand to always be baseball ready.

As you watch the ones who go before you, you long for your day to play. You’ve spent years running the bases for sheer delight. You’ve tagged along to someone else’s practices, knowing one day your time will come, and when it does, you will be ready to play.

Last weekend, Andrew was ready. 8 hours we spent outside in the freezing cold, wrapped in blankets as we watched back to back baseball games for our 3 boys. Andrew’s game was last.

When his team took the field, I scanned the players, who all look alike in uniform. I got to the little boy on second base and saw an expression of sheer and utter joy, smile that kidnapped his face, and waving arms that wanted to be sure I didn’t miss him and his moment.

All the thoughts of my misery in the cold, a back ache that had me up all night the night before, fatigue that wanted to get home and warm up disappeared. My boy had found his place, the place he’s longed for for years, the place where he feels joy unlike other activities and moments in his life. I know this because a year ago he was playing catch with Steve in the yard. He stopped, grabbed his chest, and exclaimed, “Dad! Dad! I feel something in my heart! I think it’s joy!”

When we walk in our gifts, talents, and the desires He placed in us, we feel a deep sense of joy unlike at other moments of our lives.

The entire game presented moments that melted my heart. The moment they asked who wanted to be catcher, and his hand shot up. Watching him wobble to home plate, catching my eye with that smile that captivates my heart. I flashed back to his 2nd birthday when he asked for catcher’s gear. The toddler years watching him dress up, the catcher’s mask that sits displayed on his shelf now. The moment he hit the ball and ran with every ounce of speed in his body to slide into first base! He’s always wanted to slide and couldn’t resist the opportunity. The moment he smacked the ball into outfield. It was everything he’d dreamed of. He was ready. He’d spent years getting ready for the day the Lord said, “Go.”

Driving home from dropping his brother at practice Sunday afternoon, Andrew said, “Mom, it felt so gooood to hit that ball. When I hit the ball, I felt Christ in me.”

I turned to Jacob, sitting next to me in the car, “Did you hear that?”

His expression told me he knew exactly what Andrew meant.

“When we are walking in the gifts and talents He placed in us, that joy can only be described as Christ in us.” Whether the gifts and talents are “good” compared to the world doesn’t matter. It’s walking in the gifts and abilities He placed in us, matched with giving it all for Him.

But sometimes it seems our time hasn’t come yet. Sometimes we become inpatient waiting for that open door to use those gifts and talents in the way we want to use them. Sometimes we look at others around us and become discouraged when we don’t see our open doors, yet our hearts are filled with bursting desire. In the meantime, we prepare, we watch, we practice. God doesn’t waste an ounce of anything. Our waiting, our preparing, our practicing isn’t wasted time.

One of our all time favorite family movies is Facing the Giants. Please take 2 minutes to watch this inspirational clip. Such a beautiful reminder to bloom where He’s planted us, and that we are to walk through the doors opened for us. Only God opens and shuts doors.

Facing the Giants video “Prepare Your Fields”.

When I started writing, I remember talking to a friend, expressing my impatience in my waiting. I said, “Maybe I should just stop.” My friend said, “Only God has the right to open and close doors. He hasn’t closed that door, so you shouldn’t either. He has opened doors for you, just not the one you wanted. Walk through the doors He has opened.”

In the waiting season, we prepare our fields. And when God moves, and we move with Him, we are ready to work the fields. The joy we experience through Him is unlike anything the world offers.

Along our way, we are inspired by those God puts in our path, those He places in our lives to encourage us to get ready. I reminded Jacob how in someone else’s journey, God uses us along the way as well.

“Jacob, God used you in Andrew’s season of waiting. In his time of anticipation and getting ready, you were there to teach him and encourage him.”

Smiling, he leaned back into the chair. A perspective he’d never considered. To be used by God in ways he’d never paid attention to.

God is in everything. Everything. One day I hope I can stop looking for the purpose in everything and be satisfied that it is all for His purposes, some I may never see or understand. And that is ok.

I can’t resist posting Andrew’s hit that he describes as feeling Christ in him. I hope I never forget the look of joy in his eyes. I hope I never forget that only God is our everlasting joy. Moments in our life offer us a sampling, a tiny serving of joy. A joy is coming unlike anything we will ever experience here on this earth. Isn’t God sweet to let us taste a little, itty-bitty, teensie-weensie nibble of joy here and now?

Andrew’s big hit- here’s the video. video clip

How To Rob a Childhood And Miss The Sacred of Parenting

March 25, 2015/in Electronics, Family + Parenting, Uncategorized /by Renee

It’s been about 14 months since I wrote my boys a letter about why we limit electronics in our home. If you haven’t read it, please do so you can understand my heart before reading this post. At the time I wrote that letter because they felt different and continued asking why I wouldn’t allow them to carry a device with us everywhere we go. Much has changed in their hearts in 14 months. Much has changed in my heart. We all feel stronger in our resolve to limit the grip of electronics in our home.

I wrote that letter from my perspective, a mom not wanting to miss a moment of a fleeting childhood. A mom desiring to invest in the moments and watch real life bloom in their hearts and lives.

I received enormous amounts of mail from parents who felt just as I did but felt powerless to the electronics grip on their children. Parents who allowed their kids to play because they didn’t want their kids to feel different or alienated from their friends.

I have some new thoughts to share. My eyes have been opened to the threats this young generation is facing that we have been blinded to. I’m calling out to all parents who are with me in this season of life to rise up. To stand up and make a bold change. I’m asking you to take a stand that will save your child’s childhood from being robbed by a make-believe world. I’m asking you to protect the sacred moments of your parenting years. The window of time is barely a crack that we have them to influence and lavish with love.

My tone has changed in 14 months because God has awakened something in me. He has shown me where the enemy is blinding parents, allowing parents to justify their choices in allowing electronics to invade the home and family. “It’s all innocent fun.” “They need to fit in.” “I need a break.” I get it. I’m right here with you on every single point.

We were never called to fit in. We were never called to train our children to fall into peer pressure. We were never called to model to our children fitting in and finding acceptance in the eyes of others. We were never called to make choices for our children to make their paths easier in friendships and relationships. We were never called to set our children up for a life of addiction (this sounds dramatic, but I assure you video games are highly addictive and allowing addiction as a child only increases the likelihood of other addictions in their future as they will continue seeking the feel-good pleasure experiences).

Pregnant with my first child, I promised God I would raise him to love God more than anything else. That is the first and greatest command, after all. Baby arrives, baby grows, innocence fades, and that battle becomes real – tangibly real. My job as a mom is to battle hard for my children. I’m battling the dark forces of this world that my children are unable to see.

It’s a battle, my friends. A real-life battle. As our children sit hooked to their iPads battling in a make-believe world, there is a true battle occurring for their hearts, their minds, their souls, their very lives.

While our children live out their free moments in clash of clans, halo, or whatever new game comes along to clutch them in its grips, their childhood is being robbed. And they have no idea. They have no clue what they are missing out on. We know what they are missing. It’s our job to protect our children. Childhood is a gift to experience only once. Then the worries and stresses of life become real to them and childhood is gone.

Electronics are robbing our children of one of the sweetest gifts they will ever experience. The carefree, innocent life of a child.

Here’s what has changed in my boys in 14 months. They see mostly the tops of heads of children when we are out in public. We traveled by plane to Florida last week. We couldn’t spot one single child traveling device free. Entire families sat with heads buried. For the first time, they expressed sadness over what the kids were missing out on rather than what they were missing out on.

Traveling with devices is convenient. Devices don’t argue, they don’t ask for things, they don’t intrude on our time, they don’t demand anything, they entertain, they pass time. But what if God wants more? What if He wants us to teach our children patience and self-control, to become creative in boredom, not giving into our desires? Devices give our children what they want, when they want it. Devices entertain our kids so we don’t have to deal with the messy stuff. If they all play their iPads, I don’t have to deal with mediating arguments. I don’t have to answer questions. I can read my own book and enjoy some peace. My children appear well-behaved (until you take away the device). I look like a good parent who can take children in public, instead of the parent correcting sassy mouths and breaking up fights in public (which is quite normal). What if that isn’t what God wants for those moments in my parenting? What if He has precious gifts for me that don’t look so pretty, and I miss them because we are all living so darn distracted?

Here’s where we are right now. My boys don’t want to be “different”, but they don’t want to live with buried faces either. Would they have expressed this 14 months ago? No way! I had parents write me that I would breed resentment in my boys’ hearts. Prayer can change a heart and its hunger. I’m not worried about that. I serve a God who desires to have children who love Him wholeheartedly. And that is what I’m praying.

I had parents write me that I was setting my kids up to be outcasts. There’s a Bible full of outcasts that God used in amazing ways. We are ok with outcasts. It’s all in how you present things to your kids. I don’t come down as a dictator telling them I will not allow such in our home. I share my heart and passion with them. I share with them the why’s behind our concerns so they understand and as they grow hopefully they will be equipped to make wise decisions. We explain that this isn’t because we are mean and don’t want them to have fun, but that we love them so much and want them to experience the abundant life God has for them. If they are living through a screen, they will miss out on the moments God has for them.

Battles weren’t designed to be easy. I don’t expect that because I’m passionate about this topic, that God will smooth that path for me and give me children who desire no part of the video game world. I expect quite the opposite. I expect that God will allow me to walk a rough road so that He can refine me and show Himself awesome before my very eyes.

We are at a new crossroads. One where my boys find it difficult in their friendships now. They miss the days where they could have real conversations with their friends. They miss talking about sports and games and gross things and silly things. One of my boys said, “I just want to have real conversations again with my friends, but all they talk about is video games.” Childhood robbed by video games.

It looks innocent, it’s not innocent.

God placed talents, gifts, passions, and desires in each of us. When our children live in a make-believe world, and only live for the next moment they can play, they may never discover gifts hiding in their hearts.

We are currently on a fast from electronics, which is why all of our eyes are opened to the enormity of this issue. We planted a garden. I watch 2 of my boys spending time learning, growing, caring, tending these plants. I watch them amazed at the miraculous growth and watch them make connections about growing what we cultivate. I want to cultivate a love for life, experiences, and deep relationships.

One son picked up long lost hobbies of coin collecting and baseball card collections. I’ve watched another son become interested in reading and writing. I’ve watched one son spend more time reading his Bible. I’ve watched one son thinking more critically. These are gifts I am experiencing because their heads are up this month.

I’ve had gifts of extended, heart-pouring-out conversations with 2 of my sons. If they were engrossed in games, we would all miss out. We would all be robbed.

Electronics are robbing our children of their childhood and they are robbing us parents of experiencing their childhood as well. The enemy wants us to brush this off. The enemy wants you to read this and say, “She’s crazy and way too dramatic.” He’s good like that. He’s good at making big deals not such a big deal.

For some kids, video games don’t grip them. Some kids can easily handle playing and still relating in life, talking about normal topics, looking adults in the eyes, playing carefree. Other kids simply can’t.

God has given parents the gift of seeking wisdom from Him. If there is the slightest nudge in your heart to explore further, please seek God’s wisdom and guidance. Ask for His discernment in making changes that will save our children’s childhoods.

The most common response I receive is from parents who despise how their kids are sucked into games and want to get rid of it. I always ask this, “Then why don’t you?” It’s in us to want to please our children, we fear they will hate us if we take away their games. If it is affecting family life, relationships, work ethic, motivation, physical exercise, attitude, then let it go. We are still the parents. While they are under our roof, we have a job to do. That job doesn’t include making them like us or making them happy all the time. In fact, it might look the opposite for a time. But giving the issue over to God will change everything. God will change the angry heart. God will change the heart’s hunger. If we ask Him to.

I still have so much I want to share. But I have to ask my son’s permission first before I share it. But I will say this, God laid on my heart this morning to pray radical prays for the hearts of children in this generation to thirst and hunger not for video games, but for real-life, real childhood. Would you join me? If you feel frustrated by what you see in your own kids or the kids in your life, would you pray God remove their desires to live game to game and instead hunger for a life that offers more than they could ever imagine?

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