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When Your Christmas Season Doesn’t Go According To Plan

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I walk past the 4 foot tree in the upstairs hall and take note. A sprinkling of handmade ornaments hang on its branches. The rest of the ornaments remain in the box. A box of handprints. A box of painting gone wild. A box of love disguised as art projects.

It’s not the most beautiful of trees, but it is the most special. It’s the one that displays every ornament ever made by the hands of my boys. It’s the one with the colorful lights that remind me of childhood Christmas. It’s the one that the boys have taken ownership of over the years. Their special tree. This year it looks different.

It’s only partially decorated. Without my permission these little boys are becoming bigger boys. Their interests are changing. The little things that once delighted are becoming sweet memories. They are growing up. Somewhere along the tree decorating way that day, I imagine a game of tag broke out. Or a foosball match was challenged. Or a game of backyard football took shape. Something more exciting came along leaving this tree half finished.

I reflect on the years of watching their faces aglow as they meticulously hung each ornament. I remember how they worked together, each securing a spot on the tree that was all theirs. “Look, mom, isn’t it beautiful?” they would call out.

It always was beautiful. It still is beautiful even in its most imperfect, semi-forgotten state.

In our most imperfect, semi-forgotten state, He knows us. He doesn’t forget. He holds us close.

I walk through the house and take note of how different this Christmas looks in our home. “God, give me eyes to see your blessings that never cease.” I continue asking God to let me see the beauty that looks different than I envisioned. Lord, they are growing up too fast. Slow them down. Please, Lord, slow them down. I love each Christmas season as we celebrate you and watch these little eyes dance with joy. But those little eyes are beginning to look deeper into this life you’ve given them. Times are changing. My boys are changing. Show me how to change with them. Show me how to change with you, the One who never changes.

A medicine dropper leaves a sticky residue on the counter. I’m reminded how our season began in a way I never imagined. Multiple trips to the doctor, a son in excruciating pain, a diagnosis of Lyme Disease. A blessing. Answered prayers. A son held close to the Father. A child’s faith growing daily as he experiences the healing hand of his Creator. A child learning what it means to know God is good all the time even when life feels painful. Christmas blessings of hope burrowed deep in the blood and tissues that house his soul. The world calls it disease. We call it hope.

Endless phone calls and trips to doctors, physical therapy visits, researching and discussing, praying and understanding. These have taken the place of the typical Christmas busy. But isn’t Christmas about experiencing Him? Isn’t it about seeing Him? The Savior born into the world that Christmas day? Remembering that from the beginning of creation, God has put a plan in place to save us?

This Christmas looks different, but the message hasn’t changed. 

This Christmas looks different than I planned, but we are experiencing Him moment by moment. Isn’t that Christmas? 

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I walk past our Advent house. The one that counts down the days until we celebrate His birth in full. The one that holds a special activity or moment each day of the season. I think back to the years before. A door opened, a little note read, excited little voices to declare what we would do together. “We get to paint an ornament tonight!” I think back to hours ago. A door opened, a little note read, not-so-excited voices declared, “It’s paint an ornament night.”

I take note of the voice. I see the lack of enthusiasm. It’s ok. They are getting older. They are boys. They are growing and changing. Painting ornaments is supposed to lose its excitement. But thank God, I’ve had the years and the moments He’s graced me with. I delicately pick up the memories and tuck them neatly in my heart, gently closing the door. They are mine to hold forever.

This little advent house hasn’t been the giver of good gifts over the years. He has been the giver of good gifts. He only used that little house to give me those gifts, those moments with my boys. Blessings. He will continue to be the giver of good gifts. He will continue to be the giver of moments. Sometimes they will look different than I envision. He is always good.

This year the gifts look different, but the gift giver hasn’t changed. 

I walk past the box that holds our Christmas movies. Mickey’s Twice Upon A Christmas this year has been left in the box. They are too old they tell me. I take note. They are getting older. Thank God for past memories. Praise God for new ones.

This year the small moments look different, but the giver of moments remains the same.

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I unplug the lights from the tree. The tree that leans left no matter which direction you view from. The tree that I envisioned looking a particular way. It should be 9 feet tall, full and round, perfectly spaced limbs. It would be bigger and better than any tree that’s ever taken a spot in the family room.

This tree isn’t what I had in mind, but the hands that found it were given to me to hold for a season.

This year the tree looks more imperfect than I hoped, but the creator of that tree remains perfect.

I envisioned a trip to the Christmas tree farm to pick out the perfect tree. We would come home, decorate the tree, decorate the outside of the house with lights, listen to Christmas music while we sipped hot chocolate and lavished each other with love. Instead, I awoke in the middle of the night with intense pain, unable to move my leg because of muscle spasms.

My perfect day became a day I rested instead. God does this to me frequently, and I love Him for it.

My perfect Christmas plans are best lived out in ways I never envisioned, so I can experience Him in ways I never imagined.

Instead of a family trip to the farm, it was a dad and son trip to the lot. Instead of me working tirelessly making everything just perfect and right for my family, God allowed my family to serve and love me in a way that showed His perfect love for me.

This year my perfect Christmas plans failed, but the perfecter of my faith never fails.

I sat on the cold driveway, leg numb from the ice pack, watching Steve carry out the Christmas plans I so badly wanted to take part in. I wanted to be with him connecting and testing lights, weaving them just so along the bushes. Instead I watched. I watched him work with joy. I listened as the Christmas tunes drifted from his car. I took note of the little ways he was trying to create what he knew I wanted to create that day.

Times are changing, my boys are growing, our moments are looking different. This Christmas looks different than any others we’ve celebrated. My boys see the change. I see their realization of the growing up, the getting wiser, the changing preferences. They partly embrace the new moments and changes, they partly hold onto what once was.

Andrew, only 6 years old, requested his own alarm clock so he can get himself up and ready like his big brothers. Jacob, 11, stopped me as I left the room. “But, mom, will you still give him ‘yay-yays’?” (little tickles and kisses up his back).

“Oh, yes, I will never stop doing that until he tells me to.”

His shoulders relaxed as he leaned back into his pillow. “Ok, good.”

The changing is hard for each of us in our own little ways. But so very, very good.

The changing seasons of life are to be celebrated and embraced.  While some moments change, some will always remain the same. While the moments look different, what drives each moment remains unchanged.

If my Christmas season looks different than I envisioned, I can rest in knowing it was carefully laid out by the One who makes no mistakes.

And now we rest in Him as we embrace each Christmas moment that comes our way in the next days leading up to Christmas Day.

Seek Him wholeheartedly this Christmas.

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When It’s Time to Break Tradition- Why the Christmas Wish List Needs to Go Away

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My middle son had saved his birthday gift cards and finally redeemed them for a new DS game, which arrived in the mail on a Monday. We have a no electronics rule during the week, so he knew he would look at that game until Friday rolled around. But he also is quite crafty with words. “Hey, Mom, you know it’s a tradition that when I buy a new game, I play it the same day I get it.”  He stopped talking then raised his eyes to meet mine.

“Impressive, my boy!”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you know how I feel about traditions. Nice choice of words to try to persuade my heart over my head. Well played. But no.”

Traditions are a critical part of family life. Sometimes we need to break tradition, though. Sometimes, a tradition needs to be replaced.

Before our family became intentional with keeping Christ at the center of Christmas, we would encourage our boys to make a Christmas wish list of everything they wanted. Want to create a monster? This is a good way to do it! They begin to obsess about what they want. One of my boys would become greatly stressed about having to come up with material things he wanted because his nature is not to focus on these things. It was very uncomfortable for him. Expectations became too high to meet.

Just because something is a tradition doesn’t mean we are bound to it. Sometimes a tradition needs to change shape.

So we got rid of the Christmas wish lists. We don’t ask for them. We don’t even discuss them anymore. We did replace them with another kind of list. A treasure hunting list we are keeping for the true gifts of Christmas.

Sometimes the gifts don’t appear in plain sight. Sometimes the gifts aren’t wrapped in Pinterest posed packages. Sometimes the gifts aren’t extravagant. Sometimes the gifts are quiet, subtle, unnoticeable…..unless you are hunting for them.

The Christmas season is here. In America it can’t be missed. On one hand this leaves me grateful. On the other hand, I am saddened when I see what aspects of Christmas receive the most attention, the most hype. Typically those same things are what silently robs us of joy and leaves us panting for rest, finishing the season with a big, “Whew, we survived.”

Oh, friends, my heart is filled with this passion for honoring Christ as Christmas. He didn’t come to burden us with to-do’s. He came to do for us what we couldn’t do for ourselves.

He came to do. He doesn’t need our to-do’s.  

Instead of filling our to-do’s with finding the perfect gifts for our kids, planning magical surprises to delight, scouring social media for the latest, newest, creative expression of Christmas magic, turn it over to him. Let go of the pressure to create magic. The magic is here. Waiting to be found. Hunt for it rather than burden yourself with creating it.

The flurry of Christmas buries the gifts of Christmas. The true gifts. The gifts of hope, love, peace, and joy. So we must hunt them out.

Though we do the elf hiding, the present buying, and the party hopping, I don’t want my boys to think that is Christmas. I don’t want them to think the excitement is in the temporary. The true magic of Christmas is less obvious. It’s hidden in the humble. It’s hidden in the simple. It’s hidden in the sacrifice.

We are hunting this Christmas season. Treasure hunting for the true gifts of Christmas. Hope, love, peace, and joy. Each day we are choosing one and hunting all day long. Today is love in our home. We are looking for all the ways we received love today. We are looking for all the opportunities we have to share love today.

We are making a list, checking it more than twice.

It’s a new kind of Christmas wish list. Forget the list of what they want. Make a list of what their souls need.

I don’t want my boys spending weeks pining away over endless wants for things. Things that days after Christmas will break, be shoved under a bed, be placed in a donation box. I want them to learn to seek the gifts that matter. I want them to learn what it means to give over receiving. But I want them to experience the satisfaction of receiving the gifts that matter so they are encouraged to give that to someone else.  All in the name of Christ.

We are seeking Christmas. Truly seeking Christmas by seeking the gifts of Christmas.

Would you join us in a new, simple, tradition? A treasure hunt of daily looking for the gifts He brings and the gifts He gives us to give back out. Treasure hunting takes practice and discipline.

Find the true gifts of Christmas this season. Hope, love, peace, and joy. This trumps any Christmas magic we try to create on our own. Because it’s real, it’s lasting. It’s eternal.

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Create An Intentional Christmas

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The creaking chains of the bench swing played in rhythm to the steady pulse of the staple gun as I thumbed through a book. My dad worked at a consistent pace to secure the oversized, colorful bulbs to the roof.

Hours later my sisters and I stood back to admire his labor. Each bulb a different color from the one next to it. A few bulbs down the colors repeated. A pattern formed. During the day there was nothing spectacular about those lights. But at night. At night they would light up the house, reflecting off our faces, lighting up our hearts.

I remember the lights. Memories are like those lights…..

I’m sharing at Momiverse today. Would you join me there for the rest of today’s post?

Don’t miss your chance to win a free copy of Seeking Christmas while you are there.

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A Hands-On Way To Teach Children The True Meaning Of Christmas

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The green and red plastic totes from the attic made their annual appearance in the family room. Artificial garland peeked through the cracks of those worn boxes in need of replacing. Opening each one was like finding my favorite sweatshirt, coffee mug, and fuzzy blanket. Comfort and familiarity enveloped us. Treasures of memories with our children each year were stored away awaiting their opportunity to do it again.

I wanted to stay parked there. Right there. At nostalgia. But pulling me away was this racing list in my head of everything that needed to get scheduled, bought, planned, packaged, shipped, decorated, baked, and wrapped.

As I picked up my pen and began jotting notes, I heard 2 of my little boys exploring the memories hiding in those boxes. “Oh, remember this, Zachary!” “I remember this!” “Look at this one!” “Remember when….”

The energy escalated with each discovery. They began rattling off all their favorite things about the season. Setting down my pen, I silently observed my 4 and 6-year-olds discussing the magic of Christmas. Not one gift made the cut. Not one material possession was cited. Not one extravagant display or party was credited. It was all the tiny, simple moments, the traditions that had been taking place year after year of their little lives. Nothing had come from Pinterest. Nothing about the super cute teacher and friend gifts I stressed about.

What did they remember? Paw-Paw calling to read ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas on Christmas Eve. The scavenger hunt daddy sends us on that ends with hot chocolate and a Christmas movie. Looking at Christmas lights in pajamas. Spending the day decorating the tree together.

Time together. As a family. Celebrating what Christmas is all about.

Stop! Wait! Pause time! I wanted to capture this……………

To read the rest of this post, hop over to my friend, Courtney DeFeo’s, blog.

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25 Advent Calendar Days Of Memories and Experiences

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The Christmas season blows in hard doesn’t it?  We feel behind before it ever begins. When the season actually arrives…like right now, even though it’s only the beginning of November….if we aren’t intentional in our planning, we will find ourselves feeling little joy and much stress.

We want to create memories for our families. But does that sometimes feel like one more to-do? Do we feel the pressure of adorable Pinterest pins and Facebook posts of our friends who have teams of elves entering their homes every single night making Christmas magical? Do we wonder if we are making Christmas special enough?

I’ve found a secret to fighting this type of Christmas stress.

Simplify.

With our advent calendar, we have simplified our Christmas, while making our season more meaningful and intentional. It only takes a little extra planning the first year, then each year that follows, you will thank yourself for making your holiday less stressful and more memorable.

My kids love an advent calendar. They love opening the doors and counting down the days until Christmas. I love it too, and I thought, why can’t we use our advent calendar to create memories, to experience times of togetherness, and to do some of the things on our Christmas to-do list or Christmas bucket list?

Do you remember this post where I listed 18 ways your family can serve others at Christmas? Well, using an advent calendar is a great way to make sure your service projects actually happen. Also, each day in Seeking Christmas, there is an activity that ties into the lesson. When I know the days we will be doing those lessons/activities, I put that in the advent calendar. For me it is accomplishing 2 things at once by simplifying. But it is also about becoming intentional with the fleeting moments of Christmas. Intentional to spend time together, to create memories, to experience moments together, and to serve others.

It’s easy for an advent calendar to become just one more ways kids are given a message that it’s all about them. It could potentially be one more way they run to see what they get that day as they countdown to the day they get even more. It doesn’t have to be that way. Kids love time together. Kids love the surprise of opening the door. Kids will cherish these memories. And one day, they will have a heart that thinks a little more of others and a little less of themselves. We pray, right??

So here is the list we use in our house. Many days I duplicate activities. I usually have several days that the activity is reading a Christmas story together, or watching a movie, or enjoying a cup of hot chocolate together. Don’t feel the pressure to come up with 25 different activities. Some activities will want to be repeated. This list is to give you ideas. I left off many that you might want to include for your family, such as going to a tree farm or decorating the tree.

To simplify even further, I got Christmas card stock, used a gift tag punch, and created these advent activities to use each year. Now I don’t have to think about it. I just pull it out with our other Christmas decorations. And like any tradition, my kids anticipate what lies behind those doors.

25 Advent Days of Memories and Experiences

1-Enjoy a cup of hot chocolate together

2-Enjoy a Christmas movie together

3-Look at Christmas lights

4-Be a secret santa to someone

5- Make cookies

6-Random act of kindness

7-Christmas craft

8- Bless someone in some small way

9-Enjoy a candy cane

10-Sibling exchange shopping

11- Gingerbread houses

12 -Make ornament

13- Choose a Christmas book (we keep a shelf of Christmas books that only come out once a year.)

14 – Family service project

15 – Write a Christmas poem or story together (we do this every year and I love looking back at what my kids have written)

16 – Wrap gifts (you do this anyway, so make a memory and have some fun with it!)

17 – Write a Christmas letter to someone (compassion child, a relative,a friend)

18 – Choose your activity (each person can choose an activity…a story, movie, etc)

19 – Christmas outing (ice skating, a local town parade or festival, etc)

20 – Christmas scavenger hunt

21 – Make a Christmas blessings list (where today did you see hope, love, peace, and joy?)

22 -Christmas campout- Set up sleeping bags under the Christmas tree, watch movies, make popcorn and indoor s’mores, and snuggle up for an indoor campout under the lights.

23 -Prepare, create, wrap teacher/friend gifts.

24- Christmas Eve church service

25 – Jesus was born – our greatest gift ever (we have a tiny porcelain baby Jesus that fits in our Advent house)

Additional ideas we have used :

  • a surprise gift – a small something you have chosen for each person
  • call someone to simply say I’m thinking of you and Merry Christmas
  • Birthday Party for Jesus
  • Special Christmas programs, performances, or musicals you plan to attend

 

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A Different Kind of Christmas

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In a world where consumerism thrives, we are bombarded with a message of “more”.  In a world where Pinterest reigns, we are flooded with images of how to create the perfect Christmas.  In a world that says our worth comes from what we do, we believe that Christmas is a time to do EVEN more.

Let’s choose this Christmas to declutter.  Let’s simplify the season.  Let’s choose to have a different kind of Christmas.

Christmas is one simple message.  Christmas is simple and it needs more simple.  Christ was born to die for you.  It’s that simple.

Let’s get back to the basics.

Let’s not allow ourselves to feel anxious this Christmas.  Let’s allow ourselves the freedom to not have a Pinterest perfect Christmas.  We can’t change our culture.  We can’t change the commercialism of the season.  But we can choose how we interact with it.  We can choose how our family keeps what is sacred sacred.

I wrote Seeking Christmas so that my family could step off the busy train on a route to commercial land and step onto a train that inched its way along a track that leads to Holy. Along the way, we will stop, we will experience, we will breathe deep, we will create, and we will hold dear that which is most important.

We will have a season filled with memories and traditions.  And I don’t need to consult any blogs or boards to find out how to make it perfect.  Because imperfect is just perfection in disguise.

Simplicity is beautiful and it needs nothing to adorn it.

Our savior was born in a simple setting, a simple birth, to a simple girl.  Descended from Heaven into a complicated world.  With Him He brought a simple message.

Seeking Christmas is a different kind of devotion.  It’s surprisingly short, surprisingly simple. Intentionally created in  a way to help you step off the path our world takes to Christmas.  It will disappoint the readers who are looking for a book full of ideas and activities.  If you are looking for a book of 100 ideas for Christmas, please don’t buy it.  You will not like it.  At all.

If you are looking for a way to slow Christmas down, a way to intentionally enter the season, a way to create memories and traditions that don’t require online research and multiple trips to the craft store, a way to capture the hearts of your children and direct them to Christ, then Seeking Christmas is for you.

Seeking Christmas was written intentionally simple- because we need a little more simple at Christmas.  The true meaning of Christmas will emerge when you keep your Christmas season simple.  Guaranteed.

 

When family bonds reach outside their own

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Photo courtesy of Disneynature

Watch this video:

http://video.disney.com/watch/oscar-looks-contemplative-4c7bca7e2269453ab4a09f37

In Chimpanzee by Disneynature, Oscar is a playful, adorable little chimp you fall in love with immediately.  His spunk mingled with tenderness captivates your heart.  He’s a baby, completely dependent on his mama, Isha, who patiently and lovingly guides and cares for her little chimp. She is his world.  “Day after day it takes a committed mom to teach him to make it in the jungle.”  Sound familiar, mamas?

When a rival chimpanzee group attacks, Oscar loses his mom, Isha.  In a moment Oscar finds himself an orphan.  No mama grooming him, no mama nursing him, no mama teaching him to crack nuts and gather food.  He is left alone.

Oscar tries to make it on his own within the group.  And like us all, he wants to be accepted.  His attempts to find a new mom left him feeling rejected and alone. He even found himself rejected by friends.  Completely alone in the world, yet surrounded by his own.  Hopeless.

Freddy is the powerful leader of the group.  Unapproachable.  Yet Freddy had his eyes on Oscar from afar.  Through an amazing turn of events, Freddy allowed Oscar to ride on his back, something only a mother would do.  Freddy began to groom little Oscar, the highest ranking member grooming the lowest.  Servanthood at its finest.  The movie described Freddy as the savior that no one could’ve expected.  Freddy adopted Oscar.  He became Oscar’s savior.

I know a Savior like that.  One who descended from Heaven in the form of a baby, an unlikely Savior for sure.  The most humble of births for a King.  One who came to serve, and serve the lowliest.  One who came so we could each be adopted into His kingdom.  Saving is His specialty.

Through my involvement with New Horizons for Children, I have seen hearts madly, deeply in love with Jesus, reaching out to save the orphans of the world- to show them their true Savior.  I have seen God perform miracles for the least of these that have radically transformed my relationship with Christ.

When you host an orphan in your home, or you meet an orphan hosted by another family, everything changes.  A face, a name, a life becomes a part of your heart.  They are no longer just a number, a statistic.  They are a human, hopeless and desperate, in need of a Savior.  In need of love and acceptance.  Aren’t we all?

Through the sale of Seeking Christmas, I am committed to donating 10% of my royalties to NHFC and orphan ministries that reach out to change the life of an orphan.

Seeking Christmas is an attempt to unite families through guided, tradition-building activities that center around Christ.  To help families reclaim Christmas in their home.  Families will cherish memories that will long outlive any material gift.

Orphans do not have families creating rich memories for them.  They aren’t experiencing the security of traditions.  My prayer is that Seeking Christmas will not only strengthen your own family, but that it will be used by God to give an orphan what no one is giving them.  The love of a family.